LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > In Search Of...

I'm too old to attract anyone


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

Like Tree259Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 9th January 2019, 5:47 PM   #46
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Phantasmagoria
Posts: 246
There are plenty of people into older men/women, and just as plenty mature men/women looking for people their age. For example, I am extremely flexible with the age range of people that I look at. Not finding anyone does not mean that you have no game. It just means that things have changed, so maybe you need a change of pace to make things work too.
__________________
The morning dawns upon everyone and returns all the tears of yesterday to the heavens.
Turn into the rain of blessing that will awaken the sleeping sprouts still resting in the scars remaining on the land.
Nilfiry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 6:38 PM   #47
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 26,395
It's a sad fact that with few exceptions, women of a certain age are invisible. If they're over 35, if a guy wants a family, they don't see you as a potential wife. And men your own age will still be trying to date women 10 years younger. I went through the same thing. It really started in my mid-thirties. Doesn't mean you can't find someone, but the odds do go down. I looked good even at 50, but guys aren't dating 50 year old women much. I look terrible now, and I don't care! It wasn't doing me any good working at staying pretty.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 6:43 PM   #48
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,482
Last time l was single was 20s before l married. 20 years , add another 3 l did nothing for a long time after my marriage.
But there weren't as many women around as there use to be and what was were often mentally pretty damaged up or had let themselves go or nothing was working anymore or often all 3.
lt was all really disheartening thought l was screwed for awhile there.
But l did notice a few out and about that still had it together and l could see were also in a good place mentally , met some too.
l don't date didn't before wasn't starting now but l knew if l just chilled, lived, recovered from my own crap better, l'd bump into one of those sooner or later that pushed the right buttons, l'm fussy l only go for a very special and different type of girl. But among it all she came along .

And l've noticed so many people in forums just need to tap into themselves, find their instincts again , use them , keep the faith and get themselves right and feeling good.
They all seem to rush rush rush this stuff and date date date seems to no just waiting and honing in on who they are and just who they actually need and are drawn too.
My women was at peace and just living , she knew l was there and l'd felt the same, we were both in wait really, getting ourselve's right again, living .

lt's so important to find your peace, try not to be pissed off and bitter, find the calm. TBH, l think in the end 40s is a great age if your in a good place you don't need 200 people, you only need that one.
Keep the faith , things happen.
chillii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 7:18 PM   #49
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,458
Quote:
Originally Posted by mortensorchid View Post
I hate to boast, but I have more or less stayed frozen in time - I have a few extra pounds here and there, a few greys, but my face is smooth still. Compared to a photo of me in high school I have a maturity on my face now that wasn't there when I was in high school, but I pretty much have stayed the same..

Most people believe they look the same as they did 20 years ago. Anything short of plastic surgery doesn't stop the aging process.



Although I get where you're coming from, I've met countless women who post pictures from 10+ years ago because they think they look the same too.



Just like you. I often wonder if they're intentionally deceiving their potential dating partners or they truly believe it. Posts like yours make me think the latter.
Normm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 7:27 PM   #50
Established Member
 
Blanco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,181
I'm sliding into my mid-30s at this point and am finding that while college-aged girls are still fun to look at, a lot of them are starting to look too young for my tastes. Women closer to my age who have taken care of themselves, on the other hand, have me feeling some type of way. Problem is that a lot of those ones are married/engaged/in a LTR heading in that direction, so in terms of viable dating options, it's slim pickings.

If a guy is focused on building a family, then yeah, a woman in her later thirties or older is probably going to seem less enticing. But if we're talking strictly aesthetics, I think it's safe to say that women of that age and older hold more intrigue than the college-aged set for many of us.

One thing I need to say is that overall vibe matters a ton. I think part of what has made some of these women in their thirties more attractive to me is in how they carry themselves. They still need to have taken care of themselves physically. But while they may not have the gravity-defying bodies of their younger counterparts or they may have some stray gray hairs or hints of some fine lines forming, these women have let their added years enhance their self-confidence. And I think that's insanely attractive.
Blanco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 7:29 PM   #51
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 26,395
Quote:
Originally Posted by chillii View Post
<snip>

And l've noticed so many people in forums just need to tap into themselves, find their instincts again , use them , keep the faith and get themselves right and feeling good.
They all seem to rush rush rush this stuff and date date date seems to no just waiting and honing in on who they are and just who they actually need and are drawn too.
My women was at peace and just living , she knew l was there and l'd felt the same, we were both in wait really, getting ourselve's right again, living .

lt's so important to find your peace, try not to be pissed off and bitter, find the calm. TBH, l think in the end 40s is a great age if your in a good place you don't need 200 people, you only need that one.
Keep the faith , things happen.
Wise words.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th January 2019 at 1:00 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 7:32 PM   #52
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 26,395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Normm View Post
Most people believe they look the same as they did 20 years ago. Anything short of plastic surgery doesn't stop the aging process.
Although I get where you're coming from, I've met countless women who post pictures from 10+ years ago because they think they look the same too.
Just like you. I often wonder if they're intentionally deceiving their potential dating partners or they truly believe it. Posts like yours make me think the latter.
Yes, not matter how well preserved, most lose the "look of innocense," the dewey fresh glowy skin, and most of all, the verve of youth. All you have to do is look around at a group of 20 year old women and see how animated they are and then look at yourself. Men can spot that a mile away. If you want men to be fooled into thinking you're young for a minute, jump up and down and laugh a lot. I will say that vibrant older women who are full of energy and verve ARE the ones who still attract men. Probably not always the ones they most want, but if they're that vibrant, they are that social to value more than just looks and youth, I guess.

A client of mine who is about 45 just remarried. She's only been divorced about a year. I know she doesn't have a problem with men a little older than her. It should be noted she is in a profession where she meets lots of successful men, though I'm sure most are married.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th January 2019 at 1:01 PM.. Reason: Fix spacing in quote
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 7:51 PM   #53
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 708
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
<snip>I want my equal. Not my equal given that market for older women is worse so we need to adjust by lowering our standards. It’s insulting.

Women that met their long term partners at 18 have no clue what I’m talking about. That would be like me giving advice on raising children.
I just turned 50 and I'm always looking in the mirror and getting disappointed. You age or you die. But don't count yourself out of the dating market. The choices might be less but there will always be guys to choose from.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th January 2019 at 1:02 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
brigit87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 8:00 PM   #54
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 708
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
If you want men to be fooled into thinking you're young for a minute, jump up and down and laugh a lot. I will say that vibrant older women who are full of energy and verve ARE the ones who still attract men. Probably not always the ones they most want, but if they're that vibrant, they are that social to value more than just looks and youth, I guess.
LOL!

I do look young for my age but I do sort of act like I'm still in my 20's. I'm kind of silly and I'm very animated when I talk so I do come across very young. I'm older than most of the ppl I work with yet I seem younger. IDK most older women are very controlled and I'm sort of...not? I get excited about stuff and laugh a lot. Maybe being youthfulish is more important than being young.
brigit87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 8:34 PM   #55
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 26,395
^ It's important to be physically animated if you want to look younger.

An old friend of mine, who was not old, just maybe 30, too tall for some guys and blond but good looking, was not getting the attention she wanted from the band GNR at a club one night even though we were sitting at one big table with them. Of course, they were extremely drunk/high and kind of oblivious. Also at the table was porn star TraciLords. So everyone was about to leave and my friend told me, Watch this. She took her other friend, and got out in the aisle between the tables and took her hands and they started jumping up and down like seven-year-olds on a playground. Immediately, they were noticed by all the guys. A couple of the band approached and invited them, but they declined the invitation, considering what they had to do to get it. hahaha.
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 8:36 PM   #56
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 37,723
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
Also at the table was porn star TraciLords.
gawwwd! she was hot!
__________________
"Every form of refuge has its price"

- The Eagles
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 8:38 PM   #57
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 26,395
She used me as a human shield.
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 8:40 PM   #58
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,458
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
Lords. So everyone was about to leave and my friend told me, Watch this. She took her other friend, and got out in the aisle between the tables and took her hands and they started jumping up and down like seven-year-olds on a playground. Immediately, they were noticed by all the guys.

If I was at a restaurant and a bunch of older people got in the aisle and started jumping up and down like 7 year olds they'd get my attention too. But not necessarily because I wanted to get to know them better.
Normm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 9:09 PM   #59
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 26,395
It was a bar. Different crowd. Not old people.

But yes, animated older ladies get more attention, from what I've seen. They look like they've got some life left in them and look approachable.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th January 2019 at 1:02 PM..
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2019, 9:12 PM   #60
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 37,723
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
But yes, animated older ladies get more attention, from what I've seen. They look like they've got some life left in them and look approachable.
or it could just be their hemmorhoids acting up
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Like Attract Like or Opposites Attract? Jersey Shortie Dating 12 23rd March 2010 8:19 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:56 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.