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I'm too old to attract anyone


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Old 6th January 2019, 11:37 PM   #1
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I'm too old to attract anyone

I have felt like this for a long time now, I haven't wanted to admit it but I think this has really done me in. I get rejected so much or have such bad experiences because I am too old to attract anyone. I look around me and see a lot of people my age and otherwise whose looks have gone to hell (weight gain, wrinkles, grey hair, etc.). I hate to boast, but I have more or less stayed frozen in time - I have a few extra pounds here and there, a few greys, but my face is smooth still. Compared to a photo of me in high school I have a maturity on my face now that wasn't there when I was in high school, but I pretty much have stayed the same.

So why can't I attract anyone? Because, I guess I am too old to do so. Does anyone else feel like this? It doesn't matter how beautiful you are or are not on the inside or outside, it's just that some people are meant to be with someone and others (like me) are not? I feel like I am just not ... Good enough. And too old to attract someone.
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Old 7th January 2019, 12:58 AM   #2
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Yeah l, I feel the same. Since I was about 36 or so, the quality of men that I was able to attract has rapidly gone downhill. When I was younger, men used to get crushes at work or at the gym (they were always taken but it was still flattering). Now it doesn’t ever happen. I am becoming more invisible every day.

I really don’t get it. I don’t see a big change in my looks in the last few years. I haven’t gained a pound. I have no wrinkles. My hair is still thick. Can they sense it somehow? I actually often see 30 year old women with deep wrinkles on their face. Would men still chose a 30 yo that looks 40 over a 40 yo that looks 30?

I have never used many face creams and recently I went to a department store beauty counter to get an anti wrinkle one. The lady there actually told me that she doesn’t think I need it and gave me one for women entering their 30s.

I dread to think what next 10 years hold. Youth is everything when it comes to men and there is nothing we can do to get it back. At least my cat still loves me
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Old 7th January 2019, 1:17 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
Yeah l, I feel the same. Since I was about 36 or so, the quality of men that I was able to attract has rapidly gone downhill. When I was younger, men used to get crushes at work or at the gym (they were always taken but it was still flattering). Now it doesn’t ever happen. I am becoming more invisible every day.<snip>
Some wrinkles are acceptable even for me at 50, I don't look my age compared to many I see or know of, they look much older. I recently went on few dates with a 58 year old, she looked younger than many of my classmates who are 50, so take it as you may.

I know on Match or any dating site, your main profile photo makes or breaks if you they get to your profile and read up on you and see if there is a Match to contact you, mainly it's me who contacts them but I get contacted by lot's of Women, many I turn down not my type. I am attracted to appearance, but also other things too, like interests and stability.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 7th January 2019 at 6:05 AM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 7th January 2019, 1:22 AM   #4
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Don't be so hard on yourself, ladies. I'm sure there are guys interested. I'm in my 40s and I prefer women my age. I seem to attract many younger women but it's not what I prefer. In fact, I've dated women 5 years older. I promise you there are men who still find you attractive.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 7th January 2019 at 6:06 AM.. Reason: No need to quote the whole thread
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Old 7th January 2019, 2:08 AM   #5
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Yea what Highndry said :)

Negativity only gonna award you with negativity.
Due to my work I go to old age homes a lot and im telling you if I can on a weekly basis see a 70+ year old man stealing a rose or 2 from his neighbor's lawn to give it to his other neighbor....then at 30-50 years of age you are not "out of the dating range" as they say.

Ladies...please remember, regardless of the stereotype, not all men think every woman on 2 legs is a target to flirt with. There are still shy and decent men out there that might just assume you're married or not up for a date. So if you don't wanna assume that he thinks you're married....at least start a conversation and mention that you're single in a subtle way... Will never go out of fashion.
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Old 7th January 2019, 2:16 AM   #6
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If you are mid 30s to mid 40s you are at an age with a lot old divorced folk who are not really looking of total losers. You are just part of the remaining minority.

Last edited by Simple Logic; 7th January 2019 at 2:18 AM..
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Old 7th January 2019, 2:27 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by mortensorchid View Post
I look around me and see a lot of people my age and otherwise whose looks have gone to hell (weight gain, wrinkles, grey hair, etc.). I hate to boast, but I have more or less stayed frozen in time - I have a few extra pounds here and there, a few greys, but my face is smooth still. Compared to a photo of me in high school I have a maturity on my face now that wasn't there when I was in high school, but I pretty much have stayed the same.

So why can't I attract anyone?
MO, your observations in this thread and others frequently prove the point that what you think is important to a man isn't what they actually want. Looks may pique men's initial interest, but if a woman is great to be around, some greys or a few extra pounds aren't going to stop him.

It all goes back to being warm and engaging.
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Old 7th January 2019, 4:01 AM   #8
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So true bas so true,
Just think femininity , the more the merrier , us guys love the stuff .
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Old 7th January 2019, 5:08 AM   #9
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I am convinced location is everything. Not only does it matter where you live but also the places you frequent when you get older. Online, men go by the age you list, no matter how young you look, you won't show up on their search.
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Old 7th January 2019, 8:33 AM   #10
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Confirmation bias...

Bottom line is you aren't too old...No one is...

TFY
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Old 7th January 2019, 8:46 AM   #11
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Both my girlfriend and I were older than you when we met. You can meet someone at your age, you are NOT too old.

Grey hairs are easily fixed with a $10 bottle of Ms. Clairol, if they are bothering you.
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Old 7th January 2019, 9:08 AM   #12
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I agree with Happy Lemming, above. I met my SO when she was 48, I was 54.

There's a wonderful freedom in this age. Nobody tries to be "cool" anymore. Nobody puts on airs. Nobody hides their grey hairs (generally, anyway), the flab around the middle or the wrinkles. It's all just part and parcel of the package.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Old 7th January 2019, 9:12 AM   #13
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Attracting someone your age has nothing at all to do with how smooth your face is. You're not too old. You know this.
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Old 7th January 2019, 9:20 AM   #14
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I’m not sure how old you folks all are but I know people in their 40’s and 50”s who have found romance. They’re just kind of average looking in my mind. Don’t give up hope I think it may be harder but you will find someone eventually. There are groups that meetup who share common interest even at older ages. That may be a way to meet people too.
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Old 7th January 2019, 9:32 AM   #15
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you get men after you, just not eligible ones...


Well, I do, anyway, aged 66.



Also, at 46 or so, one week my popularity was ok, next week it had gone; just one wrinkle too many developed, also, my mouth's corners just grew too droopy to look inviting any more, and my eyes were no longer round but were/are a bit hawk like, as a cynic would look, and I have those two lines vertical between my brows, so I seem frowny...

Last edited by darkmoon; 7th January 2019 at 9:35 AM..
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