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Asian Guy with Caucasian girl


HopelessNick

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I'm an Asian guy and that's probably the reason why I can't get with Caucasian girls. I'm not into Asian girls at all, so I guess I should give up on my love life?

 

 

Like I don't know what I need to do.

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Asian guys are on average trained to be more meek, and less likely to strike out on their own in the social scene, and less likely to be in tune with the subtle social cues that women have been growing up around since childhood. In addition, Asian guys are working against strong societal biases against dating Asians (Crazy Rich Asians is the first movie in decades which actually portrays Asians in western culture as somewhat desirable).

 

 

Guess what? I'm Asian too. Chinese bloke who grew up in London. My dating started out as an angry Asian dude protesting poor treatment by women.

 

I've now had more spectacular dates with stunning women than I could have ever dreamed of. But that came through long years of dating people who I was not compatible with. You have to be determined to change or at least improve, the ingrained Asian characteristics of being meek, socially awkward, and being only capable of being a geek - that we are all trained to be.

 

The only way to fix this is to devote yourself to the training like a religion - if you want to date interracial the odds are stacked against you. Are you that devoted?

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Asian guys are on average trained to be more meek, and less likely to strike out on their own in the social scene, and less likely to be in tune with the subtle social cues that women have been growing up around since childhood. In addition, Asian guys are working against strong societal biases against dating Asians (Crazy Rich Asians is the first movie in decades which actually portrays Asians in western culture as somewhat desirable).

 

 

Guess what? I'm Asian too. Chinese bloke who grew up in London. My dating started out as an angry Asian dude protesting poor treatment by women.

 

I've now had more spectacular dates with stunning women than I could have ever dreamed of. But that came through long years of dating people who I was not compatible with. You have to be determined to change or at least improve, the ingrained Asian characteristics of being meek, socially awkward, and being only capable of being a geek - that we are all trained to be.

 

The only way to fix this is to devote yourself to the training like a religion - if you want to date interracial the odds are stacked against you. Are you that devoted?

 

an Asian man who is tall and handsome might do ok with white chicks

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No matter what, realize that amongst your social crew, there will be ladies who are adamantly opposed to dating Asians no matter what background they come from. Just ignore those, however high your degree of infatuation may be. If you try to force it, they will be forced to use progressively more cruel ways to reject you.

 

Try starting with those people who show interest in you.

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I don't think race is the issue. How do you know you can get Asian girls? Some guys can't find any girls at all.

 

Offhand I can think of 5 married couples I know where the man is Asian and the woman is Caucasian. But the men are all actually from Asia though (not ethnic Asians born in the west) I don't know if it makes a difference that the men did not grow up as a minority. I don't believe they were specifically looking for Caucasian girls.

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the ingrained Asian characteristics of being meek, socially awkward, and being only capable of being a geek - that we are all trained to be.

 

But not in Asia! I think I was right then, it has to do with how you grew up.

 

Childhood experience has a huge impact on dating and relationship. The Asian guy from Asia sees himself as an immigrant from a home country where he is the majority. Speaks bad English and he is not meek.

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there will be ladies who are adamantly opposed to dating Asians no matter what background they come from. Just ignore those' date=' however high your degree of infatuation may be. [b']If you try to force it, they will be forced to use progressively more cruel ways to reject you.[/b]

 

That is so true and I guess why some men end up with such a bad view of women. They feel entitled or have some sort of a "never give up" strategy which forces women to employ more and more desperate techniques to "get rid".

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Indeed the attitude I would recommend to men is to never give up, but keep trying on different women. I got told once, I just feel nothing for you at all. You really don’t want to be on the receiving end of that.

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I was born in Aus. 23 yo. Moved to the countryside for uni and work and have very little Asian friends. Almost all caucasain, (mainly guys too).

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What do you think about my advice Nick?

 

@Gretchen - those characteristics are indeed more valued in China! They are seen as a mark of wisdom and education. In the US many times the same characteristics are seen as not having your own views, or being too shy.

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HopelessNick, what you need is just an Americanized Asian girl who grew up like you did. It will make a difference. You should put that on your profile, that you grew up how you did and want a woman who did too. It is going to be very difficult to date Caucasian women. We already have a couple of posters on here trying to do what you are doing for the same reason and getting absolutely nowhere. I feel bad for Asian guys, because other people are taking the Asian women already, but the same doesn't work in reverse at all. I think you'll have to put yourself somewhere that there is a big old very integrated Asian community to find the right person. Maybe a blend.

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HopelessNick, what you need is just an Americanized Asian girl who grew up like you did. It will make a difference. You should put that on your profile, that you grew up how you did and want a woman who did too. It is going to be very difficult to date Caucasian women. We already have a couple of posters on here trying to do what you are doing for the same reason and getting absolutely nowhere. I feel bad for Asian guys, because other people are taking the Asian women already, but the same doesn't work in reverse at all. I think you'll have to put yourself somewhere that there is a big old very integrated Asian community to find the right person. Maybe a blend.

 

he'll probably have better luck bringing a woman from his Asian country of origin.

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Dunno why so many Asian guys don't like their own women they're some of the most beautiful women in the world and they can age beautifully too.

l get how one guy was saying a lot of them have certain ways and attitudes he doesn't like , but eh , what about the rest.

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HopelessNick, what you need is just an Americanized Asian girl who grew up like you did. It will make a difference. You should put that on your profile, that you grew up how you did and want a woman who did too. It is going to be very difficult to date Caucasian women. We already have a couple of posters on here trying to do what you are doing for the same reason and getting absolutely nowhere. I feel bad for Asian guys, because other people are taking the Asian women already, but the same doesn't work in reverse at all. I think you'll have to put yourself somewhere that there is a big old very integrated Asian community to find the right person. Maybe a blend.

 

 

Unfortunately for me, I'm just not into Asian girls at all. It's either a caucasian or single for life.

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What do you think about my advice Nick?

 

@Gretchen - those characteristics are indeed more valued in China! They are seen as a mark of wisdom and education. In the US many times the same characteristics are seen as not having your own views, or being too shy.

 

 

Literally, besides looking Asian, there is nothing Asian about me. I'm just the typical Aussie bloke who loves me sport, sits down on weekends and chills with a few drinks while watching the cricket or something.

 

 

 

And the reason I don't like Asians is cause their lifestyle are completely different from mine.

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I work with a guy who was born in the States but is Vietnamese background. The guy is in his late 20s, he looks a bit like Rick Yune (Johnny Tran from Fast and Furious). He's a gym junkie/MMA fanatic. He's very western progressive and yeah, he's into fast cars, good fashion, clean eating etc. This guy is dating an Asian but he gets hit on by a lot of Caucasian girls.

 

Admittedly this guy is the exception rather than the rule. He's dissimilar to any other Asian I've met. He doesn't takr s#$t from people, is assertive and socially very aware. He has smashed the Asian stereotype which seemingly plagues many other young Asian men.

 

The example above doesn't necessarily help at all. Unless you're the exception rather than the norm, you probably are going against the odds. What I will say is that if you can draw inspiration from someone like this, work on yourself to create the best version of yourself, you never know and might be surprised who you attract.

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HopelessNick, what you need is just an Americanized Asian girl who grew up like you did. It will make a difference. You should put that on your profile, that you grew up how you did and want a woman who did too. It is going to be very difficult to date Caucasian women. We already have a couple of posters on here trying to do what you are doing for the same reason and getting absolutely nowhere. I feel bad for Asian guys, because other people are taking the Asian women already, but the same doesn't work in reverse at all. I think you'll have to put yourself somewhere that there is a big old very integrated Asian community to find the right person. Maybe a blend.

 

What is it about Asian men that western women find unnatractive?

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what many Western women seek out is the oversexualized masculinity of confidence, nice arms, doesn't take any crap, social competence, and the image of a protector/ defender of a family. Hence the loads of Southern belles marrying soldiers and police officer types.

 

Asian men are commonly taught to live the image of humility, quiet wisdom, talking only when it counts, and using your brains rather than your muscle to get ahead in the world. In addition, it is taught that dating is reserved for when you build your career, not before. The result is, thousands upon thousands of young men who are nerds with little social skills, who get passed over for the military cadets and classic hot guy Brad Pitts of the world. When you race an Asian guy against an American college student who has been practicing dating since he was 13, the American wins every time, regardless of the redeeming qualities the Asian guy may have. The social stereotypes demonstrated in the media also put Asian men at a disadvantage (small penis, unmanly, geek, etc etc).

 

Nick if you are willing to absorb advice in regards to a different approach to dating, I would be happy to share. Otherwise, what is your impression of dating Asian women who grew up in Western countries?

 

What you want is a very very small niche market of white women who are open minded enough to date Asians. If this is truly your hearts desire, I can explain to you how to get there, but it will take serious dedication.

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Nick if you are willing to absorb advice in regards to a different approach to dating, I would be happy to share. Otherwise, what is your impression of dating Asian women who grew up in Western countries?

 

 

Would love to hear a different approach to dating. Asian women just don't turn me on in any way haha. I know it sounds bad.

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Asian guys are on average trained to be more meek, and less likely to strike out on their own in the social scene, and less likely to be in tune with the subtle social cues that women have been growing up around since childhood. In addition, Asian guys are working against strong societal biases against dating Asians (Crazy Rich Asians is the first movie in decades which actually portrays Asians in western culture as somewhat desirable).

 

 

Guess what? I'm Asian too. Chinese bloke who grew up in London. My dating started out as an angry Asian dude protesting poor treatment by women.

 

I've now had more spectacular dates with stunning women than I could have ever dreamed of. But that came through long years of dating people who I was not compatible with. You have to be determined to change or at least improve, the ingrained Asian characteristics of being meek, socially awkward, and being only capable of being a geek - that we are all trained to be.

 

The only way to fix this is to devote yourself to the training like a religion - if you want to date interracial the odds are stacked against you.

 

1. Step one - portray yourself at all times in the most well dressed, fashionable man you can be. Ask your salon's advice on what is the most physically attractive haircut that will go with your head. Use gel if needed. Physical attraction cuts both ways. You may be able to attract a hot girl, but you must accept that certain hot girls will never date an Asian man no matter what redeeming qualities he has.

 

2. Step two - portray yourself socially amongst women as a relaxed and easygoing man, who is willing to have a fun conversation. You must beat the stereotype that Asian men are geeks, and can only have intellectual conversation, regardless of the fact that Caucasian women unfairly apply the stereotype through no fault of yours.

 

3. Step three - surround yourself with hobbies that you enjoy, which women simultaneously enjoy.

 

4. Step four - spend at least 1 month of solidly talking to a different woman every day, and get over the "stagefright" of approaching a woman you like. You should also spend time getting friendly with women, solely for the friendship, without worrying about fighting the friendzone. The idea behind doing this is to be comfortable in your own skin around attractive women. Failing to do this step proficiently will result in you losing your opportunity once a spectacular woman comes your way, because you will be rejected for being weird. If you are a consumer of porn, it needs to stop right now. It will be like trying to come off heroin - but if you choose to continue porn, a real relationship will be like trying to taste Italian spice after eating tacos with spicy red hot sauce - like an effing candle compared to a blowtorch. You will have such distorted views of women that dating will be meaningless.

 

 

At this point, you stop and pause for a moment - you are about to jump into dating. If you were not totally comfortable in stage 4, you need to spend an additional month doing it until you are comfortable. Secondly - women will operate in the dating scene based upon what feels right - not based upon what logically is correct or what a man's internal rubric says they should do. Women will do irrational things to you based upon what feels right or wrong at the time, it's a fact of life.

 

5. Step five - take notes on women around you who show you indicators of interest (playing with their hair around you, a sustained smile, sustained eye contact, asking to be with you, etc etc). Focus initially on the women who like you, and now ask a few of them out on a date. If that particular woman likes you a lot, go ahead, be a man, and kiss her on the way home. Focus on the difference between an interview, a date, normal conversation, and flirting conversation. Focus on the fact that you are getting experience. Don't go for your favorite spectacular woman just yet. Take a step back, smell the roses, and congratulate yourself on some good dating experiences at this point. If you have sex, wonderful. Step back and take in the experience.

 

6. Step six - now go ask out your favorite woman and see how it goes. If it fails, rinse, repeat, try again. Never fail in your determination, and try not to get too depressed from rejection. It happens to everybody - keep your head up and use Loveshack as a sounding board.

 

 

That's the summary of thousands of dating coaches advice. That's really all there is to it. Hot guys have it easier because women's defenses are lowered, and less hoops need to be jumped. But for everybody else - we follow steps 1-6.

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