Something doesn't add up when people give dating in real life

[EthanBlack]

I've learn that a lot of people's comments and advice towards people they know in real life just isn't the truth. I used to take at face value when people would comment "I don't see why you're single" and "You're a very good guy. You deserve somebody."

 

It took me years to realize just how COMMON comments like the above are. Many people have heard them including many of you probably.

 

What it usually means is you're a good, decent person who looks good on paper from society's point of view. Meaning, you come from a good family, you have a good education, you have a good job, you work hard, you're honest and trustworthy. All GOOD traits. You're a GOOD person. It says NOTHING about how attractive you actually are. It's just that people with these conditions are MORE likely to find relationships and it's true to some extent but not to every single person who fits into this category. And there's a lot of people who fit this category. If you live in a big city and you live downtown and everyone around you is doing white-collar work, there are a lot of people who fit the above description.

 

It took me a long time to realize that when people say stuff like this to you, even if its genuine, it's not really that much of a compliment.

 

The worst is when female friends/acquaintances give the most stupid, generic dating advice. You've heard this before: "Yeah, just go ask her out. Just go for it. You're an awesome guy. She'd love to go on a date with you."

 

That's just one example of advice they give to guys they know but that they WOULD NEVER appreciate being on the receiving end of it. How many women have expressed annoyance time and time again at a complete stranger asking them out point blank?

 

Here's another one. They tell you to go to places with the intention of dating but we all know that any guy who goes out with the sole purpose of dating is unattractive. Almost ALL women universally agree on this. A guy who signs up for salsa dancing for example with the sole purpose of trying to find a date is unattractive as hell. But yet, women tell their guy friends to do all this all the time. Yeah by all means, go to events and ask women out!

 

I believe people you know in real life give this kind of ****ty advice because they don't really know what else to say to you and also they don't wanna tell you their honest feelings. They like you. They respect you. They actually DO think you're a good guy. But that's not enough. Otherwise they'd date you or they'd introduce someone they know to you. But if they're not, it means deep down, there are also plenty of things about you that is unattractive but they don't want to say that because they want to remain in your good graces. And also, they just don't care that much about you. If they did, I think they actually might say things that are a bit more harsh.

 

How many times have you had female friends/acquaintances tell you how good of a guy you are and they seem to genuinely mean it only to see them date some guy who is NOTHING like you and who kinda seems like a douchebag?

 

Attraction is a strange chemical mix. The reasons why two people connect and two people don't are very very complex, almost like an algorithm but also has a lot of factors like timing and circumstance. The stars have to align but the two people also have to have some sorta connection/fascination.

 

I've learnt not to let people's comments cloud my own self-assessment too much. Whether it's compliments or insults. I've learnt not to take both that seriously. Cause here's the thing. Just like how you should not take it personally if a girl you don't know very well rejects you for a date, you should also not take someone's compliments about you that personally either. In both cases, they don't know you that well.

 

Think about the few people in your life who know the REAL you. Like ex-girlfriends. I'm sure if they spoke truthfully about you, they'd have plenty of good things to say about you but also plenty of negative things too. I'm sure my ex-girlfriends thought I was a good guy or they wouldn't have dated me but they also know plenty of my skeletons in the closet too.

 

Also, you can be a good person but just not the right fit for someone. How many of you have gone car shopping before and tried out the typical luxury cars like BMW, Audi, etc. and as great as these cars were, you just didn't feel comfortable driving it? And then you go to a cheaper car maker like Subaru etc. and it just fits great? That's how dating is like too. Sometimes a person is gonna reject you NOT because she thinks there's something wrong with you but that it's just not the right fit. A lot of the "douchebags" who get the girls you want to date, I've come to accept the fact that for whatever reason, the two of them just have a stronger connection. She isn't with him cause he's a d-bag. Yah he could be a d-bag but that's only part of his character. And also, maybe she wasn't as great as I thought she was and that underneath, she's not that great either. Two people who have a lot in common, they can feel each other out.

 

At the end of the day, I've learnt that other people's assessments of me, whether positive or negative, only I really know myself best and have a much clearer idea of the truth.

 

I live my life the best I can. Try to smile and treat others well. Focus on the people who like me and connect well with me and not pay so much attention the people who don't. And also, just take everything people say with a grain of salt.

Edited November 14, 2018 by EthanBlack

[d0nnivain]

Yes & no. Most well meaning people aren't going to hurt your feelings to your face. But you would think a good friend would be more blunt.

 

Still, even that can be tough. I have a friend in dire financial straights, about to lose her house to a foreclosure. She filed bankruptcy & worked out a payment plan but got fired about 6 weeks ago & is behind on the payments again. I sent her a link today to a good job with benefits & a pension! Nobody gets a pension anymore. She is refusing to apply because it pays $15k less then what she thinks she's worth & she thinks it's demeaning. It's still a helluva of a lot more then the nothing she makes now & the minimal unemployment she gets. I'm disgusted. She's probably going to be homeless by the New Year & I will have no sympathy because she is not doing everything she can to improve her situation. However I also know that if I tell her how shortsighted she's being, she will cry & carry on telling me I am not a supportive friend. Sometimes you have to just let people sink on their own merits.

 

Do you think there is something about you that is off-putting? IMO the vibe you project here on LS is very negative & self defeating. It's always somebody else's fault you can't get a date. If that vibe is present IRL, I suspect it is a big part of your problem. Can you at least fake a sunnier more optimistic disposition?

[thefooloftheyear]

It's patronizing...

 

People(outside of your immediate family-and even some of those), really don't give a shyt whether you ever meet a woman or get yourself laid......

 

I've used this analogy before, and I believe some women actually take pleasure in watching guys that struggle continue to struggle...Its like the old Peanuts comic, when Lucy holds the football for poor Charlie Brown, only to pull it away at the last second and laugh while he lands on his ass..

 

Also...If you learn anything you will quickly realize that any advice from women(most anyway) to guys is pretty much worthless..They'll tell you one thing and do the complete opposite in their own lives..They'll tell you how much attractive women would love to date a guy like you, while they are sending nudes to the douchey guy that looks like Pauly D and works as a stock boy at Home Depot...They mean well...but you would be far better served listening to guys that don't struggle..

 

The reality is that if you were so desirable/great to these women, they'd be coming after you, not telling you what ever else you should do to find someone else...And that's 100% facts...

 

TFY

[brigit87]

Can you at least fake a sunnier more optimistic disposition?

 

I don't think he can. And I can understand that. If you feel defeated then how sunny can you be?

[EthanBlack]

I don't think he can. And I can understand that. If you feel defeated then how sunny can you be?

 

I've met guys who didn't have a sunny disposition but they were good looking and women still went after him.

 

So you're saying a guy like me who pretty much has everything (car, house, good job, good hobbies, friends, family, trustworthy, loyal) ALSO has to be an optimistic sunny person in order to have ANY chance at all?

 

Meanwhile, a tall, good looking white guy who has dead end job, a bit douchey, not exactly a sunny person at all, has women approaching him? Why does the good looking guy get away with so much and meanwhile, I can't even make one mistake.

[EthanBlack]

but you would be far better served listening to guys that don't struggle..

 

I know of guys who don't struggle. Their advice sucks too because all their advice comes from the standpoint of always having multiple options. Even if they broke up with someone, they've got multiple options. For them, the dilemma is choosing the right girl to settle down with. It's not about having a hard time getting dates with women you want to date.

 

And the thing with these guys is, since they'er straight men, they assume a guy like me who is only average looking has also the same experience. Well, we don't.

[EthanBlack]

while they are sending nudes to the douchey guy that looks like Pauly D and works as a stock boy at Home Depot.

TFY

 

All the women on this forum are advising guys to have a happy/sunny disposition and being kind to others. And how that's attractive.

 

But then in reality, all the guys in life who are attractive to women, they're all dark/moody and they're not nice at all, even douchey. But they're usually tall and good looking and so I guess they get away with it.

 

Meanwile, us average looking guys, we gotta have everything perfect. Can't be negative. Happy disposition. Kind to others. Trustworthy. Loyal. And maybe you'll get a date. And the minute you screw up, see you later.

[EthanBlack]

I don't think he can. And I can understand that. If you feel defeated then how sunny can you be?

 

I am finding it easier these days to fake a sunny disposition. I think getting fired from your job has made me humbler and made me more grateful for things. I am lucky in so many other ways in life. I'm quite fortunate. And so these days, I smile more at people and just look happier. And as a result, I actually DO feel happier. The thing is tho, no girl is gonna give a damn. I'lll just be another gentlemanly good guy who theoretically is an eligible bachelor and whom so many women would want to date except nobody does.

 

I'm only expressing my happier side to others only because I've gained a sympathy towards just how hard life can be. HAving experienced the downs of it myself. And just the realization that most people are just struggling to get by, even though we live in a 1st world country. People still struggle in their own ways just to survive and try to live a good life. Even the ones who have partners struggle in their own ways. It's just that you're struggling with someone by your side.

 

And so I realize people don't want to hear your negative ****. There's enough bad **** in this world. So when I'm amongst strangers, a smile, a hello and just some simple things like that, is good. But I know it's not gonna make a damn difference with any girls. In fact, there's been studies that it's the dark guy who never smiles but is tall and good looking who gets most guys. That friendly guy who smiles at everyone and has a happy disposition but is only average looking? He's just that guy who all the girls think should have a girlfriend but nobody goes home with him.

[WomenWubber]

I think that very deep inside we know what's wrong with us. It's just that sometimes we cannot bring ourselves to accept it and we can only do that when life finally hits us with that 2x4. A close friend of mine, who is also a therapist, told me that therapy in most cases is about guiding people to face themselves in the mirror. That way they can finally see themselves for what they are.

 

My sister used to tell me that if I don't buy myself better fitting clothes and groomed my hair and beard with style (I was a true metalhead at that time lel), I would never get a girlfriend. I paid her no mind until I was 25 and still no gf aside from my HS. I have followed her advice since then and still no gf, but I do have sex from time to time. No complaints.

[d0nnivain]

I've met guys who didn't have a sunny disposition but they were good looking and women still went after him.

 

So you're saying a guy like me who pretty much has everything (car, house, good job, good hobbies, friends, family, trustworthy, loyal) ALSO has to be an optimistic sunny person in order to have ANY chance at all?

 

Meanwhile, a tall, good looking white guy who has dead end job, a bit douchey, not exactly a sunny person at all, has women approaching him? Why does the good looking guy get away with so much and meanwhile, I can't even make one mistake.

 

 

No. What I am saying is this black cloud that I perceive as hanging over your head is a major turn off. You have a chip on your shoulder about something -- being non-white? -- and it makes you sound angry, annoyed, threatened . . . I don't know exactly but it's a very negative vibe you throw off -- or at least that I perceive here on LS. My theory, not knowing you, is that if that vibe permeates your real life interactions with women, that is the thing that is holding you back.

 

Nobody wants to date a guy who has a negative disposition.

 

Because you do have all these things going for you

 

(car, house, good job, good hobbies, friends, family, trustworthy, loyal)

 

celebrate them & let your joy about something -- anything -- in life shine through & that will make you more attractive.

[ThaWholigan]

People don't always have time for nuance. That has to come from your own introspective analysis of who you are. They'll tell you what you think you wanna hear to pep you up - occasionally they'll be nasty because that's who they are but generally people will at least make a small effort to encourage you, that's all it is.

 

 

 

Trying to get impartial advice from people who don't know you might serve a little better, but it only works if you're willing to try new things. I used to have the Tao of Jeet Kune Do by Bruce Lee (I lent it out and never got it back sadly). While I've procrastinated for years on actually following a Martial Art, I was attracted by the philosophies Bruce Lee talked about - including absorbing what you need and discarding the rest. Being able to absorb little things from people's advice and suggestions while discarding the rest is an important skill for yourself. Learning how to do that helped me when it came to dating. I still don't have the most sparkling dating life in the world but having just reached my 30s, I'm far more attractive and dateable than I was in my 20s.

 

 

 

I agree that sometimes people's advice can be fleeting and vague - your mileage may vary, as it is often said. However, advice - no matter how empty - can be the perfect sounding board for your own ideas about how to improve your dating life. Also, everyone makes mistake and not even the best looking guy I know has a perfect dating life. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Yeah, some people do have an easier time attracting people, due to their looks - but some people are just lucky to be both attractive and know their audience i.e. the type of people who like them and will put up with their bullsh*t. Finding your lane is the hard part. I wish you luck in finding it, good sir.

Edited November 14, 2018 by ThaWholigan

[basil67]

Ethan, you had me with the beginning of your post and I quite related to some of what you're saying. I thought you were onto something. But then you dropped into massive, negative generalisations and disconnected.

 

Very few women I know are with douchebags. The fact that you say it's a thing only tells me that you have a disconnect from reality.

[brigit87]

I've met guys who didn't have a sunny disposition but they were good looking and women still went after him.

 

So you're saying a guy like me who pretty much has everything (car, house, good job, good hobbies, friends, family, trustworthy, loyal) ALSO has to be an optimistic sunny person in order to have ANY chance at all?

 

Meanwhile, a tall, good looking white guy who has dead end job, a bit douchey, not exactly a sunny person at all, has women approaching him? Why does the good looking guy get away with so much and meanwhile, I can't even make one mistake.

 

Nah. I wasn't saying that at all. I was saying if you feel crappy you really can't fake feeling good. Maybe for a little bit but not for long. Not just you, anyone really.

[EthanBlack]

My sister used to tell me that if I don't buy myself better fitting clothes and groomed my hair and beard with style (I was a true metalhead at that time lel), I would never get a girlfriend. I paid her no mind until I was 25 and still no gf aside from my HS. I have followed her advice since then and still no gf, but I do have sex from time to time. No complaints.

 

I've always dressed well and made sure I had a hair style that suits my face. However, in my 20's, I had an alcohol problem. This left me slightly overweight and gave me a bloated look. Since then, I've cut back severely on alcohol and I started doing ballroom dancing and other hobbies and eating healthier. I also to the gym or jog multiple times per week. I now have a fit, athletic body. And even though I'm 35, ironically, I look way better than how I did for most of my 20s. I'm much more dateable now than I was in my 20's.

 

But the thing is, I'm short. And I can't do jack about that. Oh and I'm Asian. Can't do much about that either.

 

No. What I am saying is this black cloud that I perceive as hanging over your head is a major turn off. You have a chip on your shoulder about something -- being non-white? -- and it makes you sound angry, annoyed, threatened . . . I don't know exactly but it's a very negative vibe you throw off -- or at least that I perceive here on LS. My theory, not knowing you, is that if that vibe permeates your real life interactions with women, that is the thing that is holding you back.

 

Nobody wants to date a guy who has a negative disposition.

 

Because you do have all these things going for you

 

celebrate them & let your joy about something -- anything -- in life shine through & that will make you more attractive.

 

I am bitter about white privilege. how easy it is for white guys to get dates in this society from women of all races.

 

I know one guy. He has a beautiful Asian girlfriend. He's tall and white and I guess you could say good looking. He has no career. He's pretty much lost as far as that's concerned. Yah he's a good guy but so what? There are lots of good Asian guys out there who are also successful and have their **** together but nobody wants to date us. Not even Asian girls.

 

People don't always have time for nuance. That has to come from your own introspective analysis of who you are. They'll tell you what you think you wanna hear to pep you up - occasionally they'll be nasty because that's who they are but generally people will at least make a small effort to encourage you, that's all it is.

 

What's annoying is that this pep talk doesn't help at all. In fact it can be damaging. Because it leaves you wondering, if I'm so great, how come nobody wants me?

 

At least if people are pointing out your flaws and calling you a piece of ****, at least you have your reason like "Yah I'm an unattractive piece of **** and girls don't want anything to do with me. Makes sense."

 

I agree that sometimes people's advice can be fleeting and vague - your mileage may vary, as it is often said. However, advice - no matter how empty - can be the perfect sounding board for your own ideas about how to improve your dating life. Also, everyone makes mistake and not even the best looking guy I know has a perfect dating life. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Yeah, some people do have an easier time attracting people, due to their looks - but some people are just lucky to be both attractive and know their audience i.e. the type of people who like them and will put up with their bullsh*t. Finding your lane is the hard part. I wish you luck in finding it, good sir.

 

There's not much of a soundboard when women keep telling you that you're great and that you deserve somebody. It's like yah ok but the fact is, I don't have anybody and nobody seems interested.

 

When you tell them that, they start giviing you stupid advice like approaching random girls out and about. It's like uh wtf, would you appreciate someone doing that? Even someone who looked like Brad Pitt approaching random women on the street would be looked upon as weird.

 

Also, guys going to social events specifically for the purpose of trying to find a date is extremely unattractive. But women give this **** advice to guys all the time. Like, "oh go salsa dancing. Plenty of nice women there!" And the funny thing is, these same women will go salsa dancing and when men approach them for dating purposes, they're like wtf, what a loser.

[basil67]

I've always dressed well and made sure I had a hair style that suits my face. However, in my 20's, I had an alcohol problem. This left me slightly overweight and gave me a bloated look. Since then, I've cut back severely on alcohol and I started doing ballroom dancing and other hobbies and eating healthier. I also to the gym or jog multiple times per week. I now have a fit, athletic body. And even though I'm 35, ironically, I look way better than how I did for most of my 20s. I'm much more dateable now than I was in my 20's.

 

This is the typical 'nice guy' lament. Yes, you're good on paper, but what are you like in person? Are you a great conversationalist? Can you talk with a person from any walk of life? Can you easily engage with a stranger at a party with whom you have nothing in common?

 

I would also point out that your description of yourself is 3/4 appearance and a little about hobbies. None of this tells us who you are as a person...therefore none of it gives me any indication that you'd be a good one to date.

Edited November 14, 2018 by basil67

[Chilli]

What do ya want them to say your a looser that hasn't got a hope in hell ???

People are friends because they like ya so of course your an awesome guy or this or that , that's a good thing right.

 

And l hate to break it to ya , but that's life , that's finding someone that fits, everyone has to do it and yeah it can happen anyway anywhere but in the meantime that's what most people do basically the same things , just in general anyway l mean as far as meeting someone.

lt's not generic, it's life. They live life they go out , they do their thing, they do this they do that , and hopefully find their mate somewhere along the way.

 

lt doesn't mean they go looking for someone like you , you can like someone without them being personally their thing or cup of tea, but you know they'll be somebody else's.

That's life , friends .

There's not really much else people can say or help with unless they can afford to take every second person under their wing and turn them into a pet project , but how many have the time or inclination to do that.

Edited November 14, 2018 by Chilli

[WomenWubber]

I've always dressed well and made sure I had a hair style that suits my face. However, in my 20's, I had an alcohol problem. This left me slightly overweight and gave me a bloated look. Since then, I've cut back severely on alcohol and I started doing ballroom dancing and other hobbies and eating healthier. I also to the gym or jog multiple times per week. I now have a fit, athletic body. And even though I'm 35, ironically, I look way better than how I did for most of my 20s. I'm much more dateable now than I was in my 20's.

 

But the thing is, I'm short. And I can't do jack about that. Oh and I'm Asian. Can't do much about that either.

 

How short are you?

 

I'm 5' 6'', which was average in the country I was born ... like 10 years ago. As a short latino in the US my dating life is fat from stellar, but I get lucky sometimes. I just don't give a f about my height or my heritage, there's nothing I can do about that. It's awesome that you are working on what you change. From what you describe you are way better looking than I am, so maybe you just need to get lucky just like me.

[outwithpeterpan]

Actions speak louder than words. If you want advice, just look around.

 

Society generally rates white guys above non-white guys. Society generally rates taller guys over shorter guys. And the world is full of men who attract women, who are neither tall nor white.

 

Your goal is to be the best version of yourself. And find women (note I said women, not girls) who are into that kind of man.

 

People tell you on here to be outgoing/charismatic. Then you turn around, and ask "why are some of the men women are into not like that?"

 

We're telling YOU, that YOU would be more attractive, if YOU were outgoing/charismatic.

 

Does it mean you'd suddenly be the hottest guy if you walk into a bar? No and it doesn't matter. None of us are. We're trying to find you a nice girlfriend, we're not trying to produce a peer reviewed study about all of womankind.

[Mysterio]

I find that most times a love thing happens when we least expect it. All of us can plot how we want love to come into our lives, all we want. It does not work out the way we want it to.

 

If we look at men. As long as we don't get married/have kids with a woman, that is not good for us. We have nothing to worry about.

[ZA Dater]

I am bitter about white privilege. how easy it is for white guys to get dates in this society from women of all races.

 

 

 

Really. I am a 34yo white. 5.9, blond blue, tall and athletic. I have never had a GF. Ever.

 

 

I drive the odd Italian supercar from time to time. Have extravagant lunches at some truly stunning events. I am a Director of a few companies.

 

 

On paper I could be one of those guys you mention above, the reality is anything but. You cannot paint everyone with the same brush, as tempting as it is to do so.

 

 

Am I ok being dateless, not really but nobody cares about it barring me. People will tell you all sort of positive things and its important to believe in the positive.

 

 

One thing I can tell you categorically there is NO definitive RIGHT way but there is NUMEROUS wrong ways.

 

 

OP did you ever enjoy any success at dating at all? Anything you can look back on and say it was good?

 

 

Fundamentally the society today isn't the same as it was even 5 years ago and in my view dating has been negatively impacted. BUT I do think a lot of success or failure depends on how well you did in your teen years, school subjectively doesn't teach much but it should teach how to interact with others, when I look at guys who dated well in HS they tended to do well out of it too.

 

 

Those who didn't landed up with severe compromises, well in my opinion anyway. Sure, you cant go back, I wish I could in some respects but you can adapt to a certain degree.

 

 

You don't sound very happy at all, in fact your post sounds like one of my more bitter ones!

 

 

You need to look at as a balance, balance of life and dating, you need to try have a reasonably content disposition to try and date, you cannot even try without that.

 

 

People will only tell you what you want to hear, some of the most spineless people I have met were those I went on dates with. Did I like being rejected not particularly but I then stripped the looks away/lack of in most cases, unpacked the person and realised they didn't really offer me anything. Look around at the supposedly successful daters, see how many of them land up with exceptional people, not all that many because I'd wager 75% of women just shop using their looks and nothing more, there is very little behind those looks.

[ZA Dater]

What do ya want them to say your a looser that hasn't got a hope in hell ???

People are friends because they like ya so of course your an awesome guy or this or that , that's a good thing right.

 

And l hate to break it to ya , but that's life , that's finding someone that fits, everyone has to do it and yeah it can happen anyway anywhere but in the meantime that's what most people do basically the same things , just in general anyway l mean as far as meeting someone.

lt's not generic, it's life. They live life they go out , they do their thing, they do this they do that , and hopefully find their mate somewhere along the way.

 

lt doesn't mean they go looking for someone like you , you can like someone without them being personally their thing or cup of tea, but you know they'll be somebody else's.

That's life , friends .

There's not really much else people can say or help with unless they can afford to take every second person under their wing and turn them into a pet project , but how many have the time or inclination to do that.

 

 

Trust me in some instances that would work but not many people are that giving, I have had some advice like this and it definitely did help me in terms of getting some confidence. Both were ladies, both has super level of confidence.

 

 

Conversely I had a friend (guy) who tried to turn me into a pet project but it never really worked because it was done in such an awkward way in terms of how he tried to introduce me to ladies.

 

 

There is more to life than dating. Why make the centre of your life rejection when there is more positive in life?

[brigit87]

 

I'd wager 75% of women just shop using their looks and nothing more, there is very little behind those looks.

 

NO. Most women know men fall in love through the eyes. Men know in seconds if they want to have sex with you or they REALLY want to have sex with you and treat you accordingly. Most women know that so they don't have to do much in the beginning. They wait and see if the man want's us and if so then we reveal more. What's the point in showing how wonderful we are to someone who's not that into us.

 

And. If we aren't interested we won't put in any effort ever.

Edited November 15, 2018 by brigit87

[sabaton]

I've learn that a lot of people's comments and advice towards people they know in real life just isn't the truth. I used to take at face value when people would comment "I don't see why you're single" and "You're a very good guy. You deserve somebody."

Do you honestly expect people to tell someone that the reason why that woman or man is single is because he's abnormaly short, or so skinny you can see his ribcage, or he's bald at the age of 25, or he's ugly, or he's overweight? People don't want to hurt other people, for the most part.

 

 

What it usually means is you're a good, decent person who looks good on paper from society's point of view. Meaning, you come from a good family, you have a good education, you have a good job, you work hard, you're honest and trustworthy. All GOOD traits. You're a GOOD person. It says NOTHING about how attractive you actually are.

Nah. Listen. My ancestors are Portuguese, Spanish and Greek. Back then, 50 years ago, the way their soceities was set up was traditional, and women would marry the men they weren't sexually attracted to, because these guys had a good job, and they seemed to be decent enough human beings(meaning the chances of the women getting beaten up were lowered) and that was a terrible way to have things done, socially, sexually, romantically.

 

 

Why?

 

Because without sexual attraction what you have in those situations is marital rape. Unless a woman is sexually attracted to a man I consider it to be wrong. That's why I've always been against prostitution. What's the point in being with a woman who would rather go to the dentist than to be naked with the guy?

 

I've read the rest of your post but it's just much for me to talk about. If you want a woman that much, and you are boring to talk to, if you lack physical beauty, and if all you have going for you is money and social status - why don't you visit Pakistan or China or India and buy yourself a wife?

 

I mean, you write these long-winded threads about how decades ago a man with a good job and education was highly valued by women and now that doesn't mean much and women would rather have a man who makes them wet than a guy who can buy them a car... you still want women no matter how much you talk about how happy you are with your life.

[sabaton]

NO. Most women know men fall in love through the eyes. Men know in seconds if they want to have sex with you or they REALLY want to have sex with you and treat you accordingly. Most women know that so they don't have to do much in the beginning. They wait and see if the man want's us and if so then we reveal more. What's the point in showing how wonderful we are to someone who's not that into us.

 

And. If we aren't interested we won't put in any effort ever.

 

 

Women fall in love through their eyes mostly, too, bro. Just visit a nightclub or a music festival, or a college, and see who is the guy taking girls home. It sure as hell ain't the rich guys, as those girls are looking for a sexually attractive man, they ain't looking for a guy to pay their bills

[Simple Logic]

When I was a younger man I never thought finding comparable dates were an easy task. Now that I am much older and teach younger folks I see lots of young women who I would have asked out on a date in a minute who can’t find men to date. They are smart, educated, and attactive.

 

I don’t know where to tell you to find them, but there seems to be plenty out there.