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Bumble and other OLD adventures


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 6th March 2019, 8:01 PM   #16
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With respect, good for her I say- if I'm reading it correctly it sounds like you kept her on ice for two weeks as you were juggling others and then when you finally had some space crop up in your rotation you reached out and she was no longer interested.

I advise people to take a zero tolerance policy on OLD because of how many people are flaky or 'playing the game'. I did similar myself recently- getting on well with a woman who had a holiday booked. She went on holiday and I left her to it but she insisted on blowing up my app with pics of her on holiday showing off. So she was available and on the app. So I 'bit' and entered into conversation with her and invited her on a date when she got back, she gratefully accepted so I offered her a date and then....radio silence for a couple of days. Yes, she was on holiday but in my opinion if you are going to get into arrangements of dates then it's very rude to just leave the other person with their plans up in the air. I had no other matches I was interested in so i deleted the app. She can reply to dead air when she eventually gets around to it.

So the woman you are talking about is a woman after my own heart. It is more than sensible and reasonable to allow the other person a period of time during which to express interest and if they don't, well no hard feelings, that's just the way it goes. Move on. Plenty more out there after all!
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Old 6th March 2019, 8:19 PM   #17
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I thought it’s common to receive no response if you’re taking too long to reply. During my 3-week OLD adventure, there’s a guy who sent me two messages in a row (a couple of days apart); when I replied after a week, he never wrote back.
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Old 6th March 2019, 8:54 PM   #18
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She put herself out there and you took 2 weeks to reply and you are now moaning about POF... What did you expect? You were obviously not wowed enough to reply sooner so why would she bother with you?
You were a waste of time as far as she was concerned and she rightly ignored you.
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Old 6th March 2019, 9:14 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by nospam99 View Post
That's it for now, just some background and my initial observations as a, so far, unpaid Bumble user.
nospam99, maybe things will be easier if you cough up the membership fee, at least for a short time, maybe a month or two
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Old 6th March 2019, 9:17 PM   #20
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mispost....
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Old 6th March 2019, 9:38 PM   #21
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She might have had “something else going on” by then.. or assumed you had very low interest. What did You respond with? Is there any way she saw a preview or got the message in her inbox?
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Old 7th March 2019, 7:38 AM   #22
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She might have had “something else going on” by then.. or assumed you had very low interest. What did You respond with? Is there any way she saw a preview or got the message in her inbox?
I responded with a message. From what I see when women contact me, I surmise she didn't get a preview but got the message in her inbox.

Some of the replies I'm getting at the moment are castigating me for not responding immediately. Oh well. I guess that's how some people play the game. I take it as a given that everybody on OLD is juggling multiple contacts. When I get a response after a couple of weeks (and it happens), I don't hold the delay against the woman. I understand that people HAVE LIVES and (horrors) may even be meeting and dating other men and be deciding whether to 'next' them. But that's me. If this woman 'was' legitimately interested in meeting me (POF Meet Me, anyone?), she would have gotten an immediate response from me if she sent a message rather than a Meet Me. Again, that's just me and the way I 'play the OLD game'.
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Old 7th March 2019, 2:57 PM   #23
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I responded with a message.
...I was asking because the contents can be make or break. It’s fine if you would rather not share.
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Old 7th March 2019, 5:11 PM   #24
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After a few early successes, you haven't had any success with POF or Bumble in the better part of a year, is that right?

Time to try other avenues to meet women. At the very least, other dating sites or change your filters, expand your search distances, that sort of thing. Get out there and meet people through activities, social groups. Maybe even give speed dating a try.

Might be that as you're getting older you're going to be selling yourself to an ever decreasing market, and it's not about the dating sites at all.

As far as "meet me" messages or the equivalent, it's safe to say the dating sites are full of fakery. That doesn't mean there aren't millions of real people on there as well.
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Old 7th March 2019, 6:20 PM   #25
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@Normm Right - no success from POF for a year. Bumble was a one month 'experiment' suggested by shydad here on LS - worked for him, didn't work for me. I'm still meeting more women than I can handle on match.com. Activities and social groups? - a bust - at my age in my area, plenty of nice, friendly people but no romantic potential (been doing meetups for 6 years). First speed dating a year ago was great, three hits. Second one last month was an oh-fer. Sux to get old - I'm finding it sux more to get old when I'm healthy and active and an increasing proportion of my 'contemporaries' are not. Oh well - dating my current dating partner (that's all she is at this point) tomorrow.
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Old 7th March 2019, 6:24 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by nospam99 View Post
@Normm Right - no success from POF for a year. Bumble was a one month 'experiment' suggested by shydad here on LS - worked for him, didn't work for me. I'm still meeting more women than I can handle on match.com. Activities and social groups? - a bust - at my age in my area, plenty of nice, friendly people but no romantic potential (been doing meetups for 6 years). First speed dating a year ago was great, three hits. Second one last month was an oh-fer. Sux to get old - I'm finding it sux more to get old when I'm healthy and active and an increasing proportion of my 'contemporaries' are not. Oh well - dating my current dating partner (that's all she is at this point) tomorrow.
sounds like youre meeting tons of great ppl nospam. maybe relook at your criteria for a mate, something is wrong here
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Old 7th March 2019, 6:57 PM   #27
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@alphamale Not 'tons', but several. But LOL almost half of them are dudes Maybe what's wrong is me - that I don't want what I can 'get' and can't 'get' what I want. I can live with that. Not ready to 'settle' at the moment - I've got family so I'm not lonely. And the search remains fun. I do, of course, continue to point out the flaws in OLD, that being my major tool to meet WOMEN who say they want to meet men.
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Old 8th March 2019, 6:23 PM   #28
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l was the same back when, if someone replied really late , no foul for me. It's a confusing business and people have stuff going on or they might've been talking to someone else and wanna see where that went first or whatever. Did it myself.
l remember the first one l tried was pof but same thing there was lots of great profiles thought l'd struck gold but no one answered, think most of them were stolen from other sites or something. Joined another one and got talking to real people in a few days.
l say if things don't go anywhere with the one your seeing try not to depend on OLD as the be all end all but keep using it on the side, stay open, why not, nothing to lose really. There's still life and interests and stuff going on too but who knows.
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Old 16th March 2019, 6:49 AM   #29
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One more OLD adventure. I'm not starting another thread because .... reasons i.e. I see no point in a separate thread.

So my judgement is the woman in question is just interested in getting some attention. I'm posting to get second (third, fourth, etc) opinions about that judgement. History summary of 'our' interaction follows ...

- She views my profile and sends a Like but no message
- I send a message back, thanking her for the Like, pointing out that based on her profile the Like is a bit of a mystery (I mention height as part of the mystery - maybe MY mistake?), and asking if she'd like to meet
- She responds ''Hmmm....not quite sure what my profile actually says, maybe I should look. I'm 5'8'' Do you ski alot?''
- I respond, starting with ''Nice to hear from you'' and continue answering and elaborating on her skiing question and pointing out that I have skied at two resorts located within 20 minutes in either direction from where she lives
- Her: ''I ski at [redacted - the closer of the two resorts] ''

Like I said, me mentioning height at all may have been a mistake. But what I see is:
- no initial message
- no response to my question about wanting to meet
- claimed ignorance about the contents of her profile
- both of her responses are brief, the second one only four words long
- nevertheless she continues to respond

Back to my current question. Anybody see anything other than low interest from her and reason to suspect she is just fishing for attention?

Last edited by nospam99; 16th March 2019 at 6:52 AM..
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Old 16th March 2019, 10:38 AM   #30
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In my opinion, you are on the "back burner". She probably has other gentlemen she is "testing the waters" with and if they don't work out, maybe she'll give you a try. I get the impression she isn't quite ready to relax her height requirement (or some other criteria), just yet.

Personally, I always hated waiting for a woman to decide if I was "good enough" to date or if she should hold out for something better. Here I am, do you want to go out or not?? I don't mind competition and may the best man win, but don't leave me in a holding pattern while you decide (if maybe) you might want to go out with me.

NEXT!!
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