Does anyone wonder how some guys get away with so much?

[EthanBlack]

I've always tried to be genuine, authentic and to take the high road in life. Treat people well. Be respectful of others. Go into things with good intentions and good attitude.

 

I've been told I have a lot of good qualities. I've achieved quite a lot in my life and I'm by all accounts, a successful and accomplished man who is kind and respected by others.

 

Yet the women I'm interested in dating are never attracted to me. They can like me and respect me and some have even admired me but they never were attracted to me mainly because physically, they weren't interested.

 

Yet you see these great accomplished, beautiful, wonderful women who end up with guys who get away with so much ****. Guys who get them pregnant and don't give a ****. Guys who are dead beat losers who can't even hold a job. Guys who have nothing going for them except for looks.

 

But because these women are physically attracted to these guys, they get away with so much. Whereas a guy like me, because I'm not physically attractive, none of my good qualities matter at all.

 

I'm at a total loss and I don't even try anymore. My main aim is to preserve myself and keep enough things in my life to enjoy. I never go out of my way to try to enter a woman's life anymore because it's just not worth it and I'm sick and tired of being disappointed time and time again.

[bathtub-row]

The same is true of women. Men are mostly only attracted to beautiful women and don’t care how horrible their personalities are. You’re looking at things from a very jaded point of view.

 

The truth is, most women are attracted to a man’s self-confidence and his a ability to provide and care for her. It’s rarely just about looks. If you’re having that much trouble, go to an image consultant and figure out what you may be doing to repel women.

[EthanBlack]

The truth is, most women are attracted to a man’s self-confidence and his a ability to provide and care for her. It’s rarely just about looks. If you’re having that much trouble, go to an image consultant and figure out what you may be doing to repel women.

 

I'm confident. Want proof? I do ballroom dancing and I compete in it. It doesn't get more nerve-wracking than that.

 

As a provider? I make over six figures a year. I'm financially in very good condition.

 

It IS about looks. That's the primary thing I don't have and what makes women not want to date me. They can like me a lot. Want to befriend me. And some have even said they admire me but they don't want to date me. What you said may apply to white men but for an Asian man, it's like there's some sort of extra standard in place.

[stillafool]

I've always tried to be genuine, authentic and to take the high road in life. Treat people well. Be respectful of others. Go into things with good intentions and good attitude.

 

I've been told I have a lot of good qualities. I've achieved quite a lot in my life and I'm by all accounts, a successful and accomplished man who is kind and respected by others.

 

Yet the women I'm interested in dating are never attracted to me. They can like me and respect me and some have even admired me but they never were attracted to me mainly because physically, they weren't interested.

 

Yet you see these great accomplished, beautiful, wonderful women who end up with guys who get away with so much ****. Guys who get them pregnant and don't give a ****. Guys who are dead beat losers who can't even hold a job. Guys who have nothing going for them except for looks.

 

But because these women are physically attracted to these guys, they get away with so much. Whereas a guy like me, because I'm not physically attractive, none of my good qualities matter at all.

 

I'm at a total loss and I don't even try anymore. My main aim is to preserve myself and keep enough things in my life to enjoy. I never go out of my way to try to enter a woman's life anymore because it's just not worth it and I'm sick and tired of being disappointed time and time again.

 

Have you thought about lowering your standards to women who aren't the most physically attractive? Beautiful people usually end up wanting other beautiful people no matter if they are good or bad for them. Maybe you are shopping out of your league.

[brigit87]

Have you thought about lowering your standards to women who aren't the most physically attractive? Beautiful people usually end up wanting other beautiful people no matter if they are good or bad for them. Maybe you are shopping out of your league.

 

That's what I'm thinking. Just because a man can dance and make money wouldn't make me want him. When I was "husband hunting" I did have a looks requirement but I didn't date anyone who was better looking than myself. I dated guys who were at the same level. I disqualified guys all the time who weren't good-looking enough. But If I only wanted to date famous actors I'd be out of luck.

 

Date women who are on your level.

[thefooloftheyear]

Here's the bottom line, guys...

 

Being nice or a "good guy" doesn't mean shyt because really anyone could be nice...

 

Sure, it's great if you have that in your repertoire, but if that's all you got, it wont get you anywhere...

 

TFY

[Woggle]

Because they never apologize. I have noticed that people who don't apologize tend to usually avoid trouble. If you know somebody can't be moved you move on to somebody who can.

[EthanBlack]

That's what I'm thinking. Just because a man can dance and make money wouldn't make me want him. When I was "husband hunting" I did have a looks requirement but I didn't date anyone who was better looking than myself. I dated guys who were at the same level. I disqualified guys all the time who weren't good-looking enough. But If I only wanted to date famous actors I'd be out of luck.

 

Date women who are on your level.

 

It's racial too. You see a lot of dumpy looking white guys with gorgeous Asian girls because it's fashionable and cool to date a white guy. An asian guy literally has to be good looking, successful, charming and have interesting hobbies in order to even have a chance dating any girl.

 

Here's the bottom line, guys...

 

Being nice or a "good guy" doesn't mean shyt because really anyone could be nice...

 

Sure, it's great if you have that in your repertoire, but if that's all you got, it wont get you anywhere...

 

TFY

 

ok first off. I never said I was a "nice guy" cause I'm not. I don't let women use me or walk all over me. I'm nice to people in general because I have no reason not to be. But if you give me a reason, I won't be nice to you. Trust and affection is earned. In addition to being nice, I'm also very accomplished. I have a good career. I'm a decent dancer. I play music. I'm very well-read and knowledgeable about a variety of topics. I'm more than just nice.

 

But I'm not good looking. And I'm short. And so a woman can respect you and even admire you and yes I have had women who openly said they think I'm an amazing person but that's not enough for any intimacy to happen because they aren't attracted to me.

 

And FYI, I know some really "nice guys" who happen to be good looking and they get girls. It's not like if you're a nice guy, you're gonna repel women. If you're good looking then you're gonna attract good looking women, whether you're a nice guy or a douche.

Edited October 12, 2018 by EthanBlack

[Chilli]

Have you thought about lowering your standards to women who aren't the most physically attractive? Beautiful people usually end up wanting other beautiful people no matter if they are good or bad for them. Maybe you are shopping out of your league.

 

 

Yep , first thing that jumped out at me too.

l notice a lot of the guys round here moaning seem to be shooting way above themselves in looks but then wondering why they aren't getting anywhere.

[thefooloftheyear]

It's racial too. You see a lot of dumpy looking white guys with gorgeous Asian girls because it's fashionable and cool to date a white guy. An asian guy literally has to be good looking, successful, charming and have interesting hobbies in order to even have a chance dating any girl.

 

 

 

ok first off. I never said I was a "nice guy" cause I'm not. I don't let women use me or walk all over me. I'm nice to people in general because I have no reason not to be. But if you give me a reason, I won't be nice to you. Trust and affection is earned. In addition to being nice, I'm also very accomplished. I have a good career. I'm a decent dancer. I play music. I'm very well-read and knowledgeable about a variety of topics. I'm more than just nice.

 

But I'm not good looking. And I'm short. And so a woman can respect you and even admire you and yes I have had women who openly said they think I'm an amazing person but that's not enough for any intimacy to happen because they aren't attracted to me.

 

And FYI, I know some really "nice guys" who happen to be good looking and they get girls. It's not like if you're a nice guy, you're gonna repel women. If you're good looking then you're gonna attract good looking women, whether you're a nice guy or a douche.

 

 

So....are you are a short/small Asian guy trying to date good looking white women??

 

Just curious...

 

TFY

[preraph]

Women care about personality, but they can still find someone they're physically attracted to who has a good personality and isn't a toad. Everyone kisses a few toads first, men and women. First, women have to want to kiss you. If they can't see it because you're not their type or they can just do better lookswise, they won't stay because they don't want to kiss you and they know you're going to want to kiss++++ them and they're turned off by that.

 

If you want to be desired, date the women who show an interest and attraction to you, not women you know can find someone with looks and personality on their level.

[elaine567]

...but he's better looking and maybe taller and has a better attitude (again hard to have a good attitude when you're constantly rejected).

 

Sorry but I also need to join the chorus.

People tend to pair off, like with like.

If you are being constantly rejected by women for taller, better looking guys then you are probably fishing in the wrong pool.

[5x5]

Yet you see these great accomplished, beautiful, wonderful women who end up with guys who get away with so much ****. Guys who get them pregnant and don't give a ****. Guys who are dead beat losers who can't even hold a job. Guys who have nothing going for them except for looks.

 

But because these women are physically attracted to these guys, they get away with so much. Whereas a guy like me, because I'm not physically attractive, none of my good qualities matter at all.

 

Well the same also applies to women who aren't physically attractive.

 

It is a fools errand to think that you ought to be entitled to women, who are all of that physically when you aren't.

 

I'm at a total loss and I don't even try anymore. My main aim is to preserve myself and keep enough things in my life to enjoy. I never go out of my way to try to enter a woman's life anymore because it's just not worth it and I'm sick and tired of being disappointed time and time again.

 

I can't imagine why you would be at a total loss.

 

Is it because you really do have no clue, or you simply don't like reality as it is?

 

If you're looking for a better result you would do well to lose your sense of entitlement. While trying to date women who are your aesthetic peers.

 

And FYI, I know some really "nice guys" who happen to be good looking and they get girls. It's not like if you're a nice guy, you're gonna repel women. If you're good looking then you're gonna attract good looking women, whether you're a nice guy or a douche.

 

Hmm...

 

Well it looks like you've figured it out then. So do feel free to date women who aren't good looking.

[sabaton]

The same is true of women. Men are mostly only attracted to beautiful women and don’t care how horrible their personalities are. You’re looking at things from a very jaded point of view.

 

The truth is, most women are attracted to a man’s self-confidence and his a ability to provide and care for her. It’s rarely just about looks. If you’re having that much trouble, go to an image consultant and figure out what you may be doing to repel women.

 

 

So men are only attracted to beautiful women and women are rarely if ever attracted to a man's looks and they're only attracted to a man's ability to provide and self-confidence?

 

 

If that was so, would there be any high school student or college male student with a girlfriend? or any guy with minimum income as his monthly wage?

 

 

 

 

As a provider? I make over six figures a year. I'm financially in very good condition.

At over six figures a year, you are at the top income in pretty much all over the world. And you still can't buy yourself a wife?

 

 

 

That only happens if you are going for women way out of your league. If you keep your eyes glued to women who are closely related to where you stand in terms of physical apperarance, things aren't as bleak as you're painting them to be.

 

 

It IS about looks. That's the primary thing I don't have and what makes women not want to date me.

You said women don't want to date you. You didnt' specify what those women look like, how old they are, what sort of men they are used to dating. You can't attract ANY woman at all?

 

 

 

That is impossible. Only the elephant man would be incapable of getting any female attention.

 

 

 

They can like me a lot. Want to befriend me. And some have even said they admire me but they don't want to date me. What you said may apply to white men but for an Asian man, it's like there's some sort of extra standard in place.

Bruce Lee married a white, blonde woman and had children with her. I'm sure Jet Li had his pick of women in his physical prime, no matter the race of the women he wanted, and the same goes for Jackie Chan.

 

 

There's lots of Asian men who date and marry white women.

 

 

It's not your race that is keeping you from getting a relationship. I have the feeling that it's you that don't want to date women who are any short of gorgeous, and probably a lot younger than you.

Edited October 16, 2018 by sabaton

[thefooloftheyear]

 

There's lots of Asian men who date and marry white women.

 

 

.

 

This really isn't all that true, not in my experience anyway...And you using movie stars as examples is pointless....I'm sure Jack Black and Seth Rogen could probably pull supermodels, too, but they wouldn't if they were just Seth and Jack Average off the street...

 

The average white woman in America now weighs close to 170#....Being that most average Asian men will fall far lighter and smaller than that, its just common sense that most white women won't go there...It's also why you won't see that many white women with 120# 5'2" Mexican guys...

 

Plus, I have heard women on more than one occasion unwilling to go Asian because they assume the guy is hung like a doorbell...

 

Its pretty normal for a woman to want a guy that's usually pretty much larger than she is...Not all, but a lot do...

 

I know if I was a typical smaller Asian guy, I would probably go for even tinier Asian women...but that's me....

 

TFY

[sabaton]

This really isn't all that true, not in my experience anyway...And you using movie stars as examples is pointless....I'm sure Jack Black and Seth Rogen could probably pull supermodels, too, but they wouldn't if they were just Seth and Jack Average off the street...

 

 

I'm talking about physically fit men with great faces and charisma, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, and others, like G-Dragon for the younger women and other men from Asian boybands - there's tons and tons of white women who'd love to date them.

 

 

Why are you talking about overweight, unshaved men who portray the roles of socially awkward young men in movies?

 

 

Being Asian doesn't remove a man's facial aesthetics or his wide shoulders or his abs, man.

 

 

The average white woman in America now weighs close to 170#....Being that most average Asian men will fall far lighter and smaller than that, its just common sense that most white women won't go there...It's also why you won't see that many white women with 120# 5'2" Mexican guys...

 

 

Yeah, I know, that's why I moved to a place where the average woman is naturally 90lbs to 110-130 lbs tops, depending on the height, and they're all at low body fat. That said, I'm confident that he can still find white women who are thin.

 

 

 

I sure did, back in high school, and in my trips across Country, meeting lots of different women and men from different races and backgrounds.

 

 

Plus, I have heard women on more than one occasion unwilling to go Asian because they assume the guy is hung like a doorbell...

 

 

I have also heard women that they would never a guy who doesn't make x amount of money and then they went ahead and did so, when someone meets someone who takes their breath away, those requirements go flying outta window.

 

 

Its pretty normal for a woman to want a guy that's usually pretty much larger than she is...Not all, but a lot do...

 

 

Then he can lift. Start eating 6 times a day. Work out like he just got hired to take the role of Aquaman, and then find a slim woman.

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm talking about physically fit men with great faces and charisma, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, and others, like G-Dragon for the younger women and other men from Asian boybands - there's tons and tons of white women who'd love to date them.

 

 

Why are you talking about overweight, unshaved men who portray the roles of socially awkward young men in movies?

 

And why are you talking about asian movie idols and boy bands??

 

 

Being Asian doesn't remove a man's facial aesthetics or his wide shoulders or his abs, man.

 

It also doesn't remove the fact that most Asian adult males have less size and muscle mass as someone like I did when I was 13/14 years old..And there are plenty of others way bigger/taller than me..

 

 

 

Yeah, I know, that's why I moved to a place where the average woman is naturally 90lbs to 110-130 lbs tops, depending on the height, and they're all at low body fat. That said, I'm confident that he can still find white women who are thin.

 

Then tell him where you live, because around here white women are big, meaty, tall, etc...And seem to be getting bigger by the day...

 

 

I sure did, back in high school, and in my trips across Country, meeting lots of different women and men from different races and backgrounds.

 

White women don't prefer small men....I don't know what to tell you...Not in my experience anyway...

 

 

 

 

I have also heard women that they would never a guy who doesn't make x amount of money and then they went ahead and did so, when someone meets someone who takes their breath away, those requirements go flying outta window.

 

Sure...it happens..

 

 

 

Then he can lift. Start eating 6 times a day. Work out like he just got hired to take the role of Aquaman, and then find a slim woman.

 

Sure, but at the end of the day, genetically you are what you are...You can't magically turn a 5'2" 125# guy with a small frame into a 200+ beast..Heck that guy may never put 10# of muscle on his frame in a lifetime, no matter what he does...

 

 

 

Bottom line...Guys whine because a certain group doesn't accept them...As if its their right to have what they want....It just doesn't always work out that way...If I was a smaller asian guy that kept getting rejected by good looking white women, I wouldn't keep looking for a Unicorn, id just focus in a different direction..

 

TFY

[BeenThereDoneThatttt]

I'm fairly new here, and I must admit to finding these types of threads bizarre.

 

 

You are trying to argue that a 'hot' woman should give a 'Nice' guy like yourself a chance. You realize that your very same reasoning says that you should be giving the nice nerdy girls who may not have as much going for them in the way of looks, a chance yourself.

 

 

Meanwhile coming on a message board to complain about how tough you got it and how unfair life is for you, won't engender much sympathy and it won't even do you any good. I mean, how is anyone going to even help you improve your situation. It isn't like we can see what you look like and how you interact w others in the real world.

[sabaton]

And why are you talking about asian movie idols and boy bands??

Because Asian movie idols are short and skinny and they still do more than fine with women.

 

 

 

For example, one of the biggest male boy bands in South Korea, one of the members called Taeyang is 5'7'' and he weights 124lbs.

 

 

It also doesn't remove the fact that most Asian adult males have less size and muscle mass as someone like I did when I was 13/14 years old..And there are plenty of others way bigger/taller than me..

Yeah, so? You're not competing with other men, you're competing with yourself, what other men do, is their own concern.

 

 

Then tell him where you live, because around here white women are big, meaty, tall, etc...And seem to be getting bigger by the day...

I was born and raised in California, and then when it was time for college and I realized that I didn't want to become a college-debt slave, I looked into talking to the European side of my family, talked to them about me moving in for college, I moved to Portimão, and I ended up falling in love with the beaches, with the endless summer, with the warm people, and by the fact that most girls look this TV actress that you can see how she looks like by googling her, Sara Matos.

 

I'm 5'7'' and 132 lbs. Most of the girls are 90lbs for the shortest girls at 4'10'', I think they might even weight less than that, and for the girls close to my height they're 110lbs, with most of them being so worried about gaining weight that fast food has never entered their vocabulary.

 

 

It's pretty great, girls don't care that I don't have 100lbs of mass on them or something, or the fact that I don't have 6 inches of height on them, like women in America are used to, and I've dated and had one-night stands with very pretty girls who modelled for fashion brands, of course who had inches of height on me, who approached me no less, whereas in the USA I had to do the approaching

 

 

 

and then there's the Spanish girls, the French girls, the German girls, and they're all so pretty and slim, and they love American accents, and men from different cultures.

 

 

 

Also, people aren't always asking me if I'm gypsy, because of my dark skin, because so many people around me look like me!

 

 

White women don't prefer small men....I don't know what to tell you...Not in my experience anyway...

The ones around here do. The men are usually 5'7'' to 5'10'' for the tallest ones, I rarely ever see a man native to the Country being 6 feet or taller, and the men are all pretty slim, at 140 to 150lbs tops, and all of them have very low body fat, and they don't even concern themselves with physical exercise all that much. They say on their newspapers and TV news that 60% of the population is obese, but I sure as heck don't see that, even the 60 year old + people are trim and lean.

 

Which means the average man can date and hook-up with pretty girls without much effort.

 

Bottom line...Guys whine because a certain group doesn't accept them...As if its their right to have what they want....It just doesn't always work out that way...If I was a smaller asian guy that kept getting rejected by good looking white women, I wouldn't keep looking for a Unicorn, id just focus in a different direction..

True, true, if I was a smaller Asian guy I'd just move to Asia where my physical looks wouldn't be different from what's around. I moved from North America to Europe because I didn't want to spend the next few decades getting my money stolen from me,

 

and I accidently ended up landing on a magical Country where women suddenly see me as a man, from the 18 year old attractive ones, to the women in their 50s, instead of being seen as a boy back home.

 

See, that's the problem with a lot of men. They don't understand that to get girls, location, location and location is everything. Be surrounded by women who are used to men who look like you, and then suddenly you are no longer invisible, be the funny foreigner who speaks their mother language perfectly because you know, you learned it when you were a boy, and suddenly your dating options increase a LOT.

 

 

Women looveeeeeee foreigners.

Edited October 16, 2018 by sabaton

[basil67]

Yet you see these great accomplished, beautiful, wonderful women who end up with guys who get away with so much ****. Guys who get them pregnant and don't give a ****. Guys who are dead beat losers who can't even hold a job. Guys who have nothing going for them except for looks.

 

But because these women are physically attracted to these guys, they get away with so much. Whereas a guy like me, because I'm not physically attractive, none of my good qualities matter at all.

 

Do you realise that the women who let guys get away with bad behaviour are broken themselves? Yes, they may be beautiful, accomplished yada yada yada, but they lack the ability to look after themselves in their personal relationships. If she was to be attracted to you, it would fail because you're not giving her the drama and crazy which she wants in her life. Is this really what you want for yourself? With these women, you're not missing anything other than a pretty face.

 

That said, yes, there are a lot of beautiful accomplished women who have good partners who are also handsome. Most guys don't treat good women like rubbish.

[brigit87]

Do you realise that the women who let guys get away with bad behaviour are broken themselves? Yes, they may be beautiful, accomplished yada yada yada, but they lack the ability to look after themselves in their personal relationships. If she was to be attracted to you, it would fail because you're not giving her the drama and crazy which she wants in her life.

 

He might get a good looking girl who is crazy yet wants some stability. But he'd really need to offer up something special that she couldn't get anywhere else. IDK. But then when you're dealing with emotional unbalance you probably won't keep her for very long.Or, you'll have to keep coming up with stuff that makes her want to stay. If you have a lot of money and can afford to keep giving good gifts and taking her out to nice places it might work. But you'll have to keep it up for as long as she's with you.

 

You're better off dating a normal girl who is OK looking.

[Chilli]

I'm fairly new here, and I must admit to finding these types of threads bizarre.

 

 

You are trying to argue that a 'hot' woman should give a 'Nice' guy like yourself a chance. You realize that your very same reasoning says that you should be giving the nice nerdy girls who may not have as much going for them in the way of looks, a chance yourself.

 

 

Meanwhile coming on a message board to complain about how tough you got it and how unfair life is for you, won't engender much sympathy and it won't even do you any good. I mean, how is anyone going to even help you improve your situation. It isn't like we can see what you look like and how you interact w others in the real world.

 

 

Cracked me up yep, pretty well sums it up.

[elaine567]

Women looveeeeeee foreigners.

 

 

I agree but not "too" foreign.

Some here are I guess in places where they are "too" foreign and that is a big hurdle.

 

Seems you have found the perfect spot, where your looks are appreciated and your "foreignness" gives you an extra edge too.

[Rotn'roses]

Would you like a little cheese with that whine? Lol. J/K. Cheer up because you have a lot going for you. Dump the self-entitled notion you carry around on your shoulder like a huge chip and pray, if nothing else, for exactly the kind of qualities you would like to find in a partner.

I dont mean to be so generic, but what about bruce lee-huh?! His wife was a total babe! You may not be a ninja of martial arts, but you said it yourself-that you can slice up that dance floor! What is worthy about a quitter?! Dont give up and do not dispair just yet. You need to let loose and have some genuine fun and take a break from the stress of finding perfection...there is hopefully something beautiful in all of Gods creatures so find the tiny beauty in the people you meet and when you can appreciate the small things, perhaps you will find the bigger beauty you are seeking from another. Good luck!

[Mike800]

Women care about personality, but they can still find someone they're physically attracted to who has a good personality and isn't a toad. Everyone kisses a few toads first, men and women. First, women have to want to kiss you. If they can't see it because you're not their type or they can just do better lookswise, they won't stay because they don't want to kiss you and they know you're going to want to kiss++++ them and they're turned off by that.

 

If you want to be desired, date the women who show an interest and attraction to you, not women you know can find someone with looks and personality on their level.

 

Nobody has a tag on their head that says what their level is and most people aren’t extremes in either end of the spectrum..Most people are average or a little below or above so to say you should only go up to your level is pretty vague

 

It’s also a robotic way of thinking about love. You make it seem like if you hit it off with a guy had a great time thought he was at least somewhat attractive but you would dismiss him if you felt you could get a better looking guy.

 

That’s pretty damn sad and shallow.

Edited October 18, 2018 by Mike800