loveisgrand Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Hi! I was at a seminar in a different town a few weeks ago and I met this guy. He was super cute and friendly with me, gave me a lot of attention, but nothing really happened. I kind of freaked out and might have given him the cold shoulder. I am now back in my town and I can't stop thinking about him. I have his number and I texted him to apologise about being a bit stand offish. He responded it was all good and I am welcome to visit anytime. It was a closed kind of message, as in, he didn't ask me any questions or anything. I could respond but I don't even know if he has a gf or if he is interested. I guess I could flirt it up but the idea of flirting with someone who might be married or taken is horrible to me. He doesn't have any social media and I don't have anyone to ask about his relationship status. So I want to send him a text trying to figure out his status but I am afraid no matter what I say it's going to be obvious why I am asking. (yes, mentally I am twelve years old.) Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 He responded it was all good and I am welcome to visit anytime. ... I want to send him a text trying to figure out his status ... Any ideas? Hi loveisgrand, yes, my idea is the same as your idea: to text him to find out. However, I think you should not ask him directly about his relationship status. I would text him to try to get a conversation going, with the end goal of visiting him, just like he said you were welcome to do. Through the conversation, you might gain insights as to his relationship status. You might also end up with a scheduled visit to see him (and you'd surely find out more information at that time). Oh, and lastly, and this could be overkill, but when you text him, if it's helpful, maybe you could have a close friend with you for faster and deeper analysis of what he says. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I am now back in my town and I can't stop thinking about him. I have his number and I texted him to apologise about being a bit stand offish. He responded it was all good and I am welcome to visit anytime. It was a closed kind of message, as in, he didn't ask me any questions or anything A closed message in response to yours tells you that he's not interested. Let this one go. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I don't see where him saying you are welocme to visit any time is a closed message. It's him trying to read the mixed signals. You were cold in person & now from his perspective you are reaching out to him out of the blue. Your behavior is confusing him. It's too late now because too much time has passed but the best response to his message would have been "Thanks for the offer. I will let you know when I'm back in the area. How does your GF feel about your open door policy?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Yeah, I wouldn't say that door is definitely closed. And guys like flirty messages! I don't know. Not TOO flirty, but a bit? Then you'll have to gauge his response. Maybe, "I would love to visit and and see more of your town. If I only had a tour guide that knew the town!" Link to post Share on other sites
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