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A year later?


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So it's been approximately one year since I last messaged him. Him being the man that I fell in love with.

 

We were seeing each there casually for a four months. We both liked each other at one point (him for probably only a short time). He ended by hurting me and lying to me, saying he was on vacation and couldn't meet (he was literally, walking two blocks from my house). And then I tried messaging him twelve months ago to see if he wanted to meet up. He saw my text on WhatsApp and ignored me. I've been through so much since then, having been in hospital for six months and busy with health issues. I thought about him every time I was lonely. Because none of my 'friends' visited me.

 

I want to message him again just to see if maybe he might want to meet. I looked up his facebook after a year, and saw some new pictures of him. He looked nice and a bit different. Maybe...???

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No, hold onto your self-respect and dignity. The man ignored you, hurt and lied to you because he was avoiding you and you want to reach out?

 

Sometimes when we hit lows we often want to reach out to those that we feel may be able to add some comfort to our lives -- he is not that guy.

 

Learn to self-soothe instead of reaching out to those that have disappointed you.

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Hi ZHguy, this is hard because you fell in love with him. However, I agree with Zahara about not reaching out to this guy. The reason I agree is primarily different, though -- there is just nothing to work with here. You had a casual relationship, which he ended, lied about, and it's a year later. There is nothing to salvage here. Its almost guaranteed that the only thing that will come from you messaging him will be more rejection, and getting your feelings hurt.

 

Then again, you have got to get over this. Maybe if you message him again, and he doesn't respond, you can put this behind you?

 

I'll share something loosely comparable. I bungled my approach with someone who was my online fantasy woman. A month passed. I'm certain nobody on this forum would recommend it, and dignity be damned, but I reached out to her again, on two different dating sites. She did not respond. Psychologically I was able to let her go.

 

What do you think you should do?

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