nospam99 Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 Sorry to bore those who recognize me, but 64 y/o male. So ... I've been trying OLD now for a little over a year. At the start, it seemed to be working out rather well. I've still been meeting women at a comfortable pace but as time has passed the women I've met have been less interested in continuing to date. The 'population' of women turns over slowly so at this point I've tried to contact the 'regulars' and have to wait for 'fresh meat' i.e. women new to OLD or unhiding after a breakup. I get the sense that the newbies are both overwhelmed by the 'candy store' and having to take time to 'learn the rules of the game'. FWIW I plan to increase my 'other attempts' (pretty much meaning attend more meetups - but after 5 years of meetups it will be a first-time 'pleasant surprise' if I meet a woman at a meetup where there is mutual interest in dating). I have to admit I'm getting jaded and frustrated. So my question today for y'all is how long is it reasonable to expect it to take to meet a good LTR prospect (or The ONE - I'm not asking about NSA ONS or FWB)? Personal anecdotes as examples are welcome 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 Sorry to bore those who recognize me, but 64 y/o male. So ... I've been trying OLD now for a little over a year. At the start, it seemed to be working out rather well. I've still been meeting women at a comfortable pace but as time has passed the women I've met have been less interested in continuing to date. The 'population' of women turns over slowly so at this point I've tried to contact the 'regulars' and have to wait for 'fresh meat' i.e. women new to OLD or unhiding after a breakup. I get the sense that the newbies are both overwhelmed by the 'candy store' and having to take time to 'learn the rules of the game'. FWIW I plan to increase my 'other attempts' (pretty much meaning attend more meetups - but after 5 years of meetups it will be a first-time 'pleasant surprise' if I meet a woman at a meetup where there is mutual interest in dating). I have to admit I'm getting jaded and frustrated. So my question today for y'all is how long is it reasonable to expect it to take to meet a good LTR prospect (or The ONE - I'm not asking about NSA ONS or FWB)? Personal anecdotes as examples are welcome perhaps, if you didn't view relationship potentials as 'fresh meat' for your consumption, you might widen your chances. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ZHguy Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 perhaps, if you didn't view relationship potentials as 'fresh meat' for your consumption, you might widen your chances. I think he meant more people in the market. OP, have you tried tinder, e dating? Also, maybe do some group classes for something. Going to the gym and picking up an activity is always confidence raising. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 Personally l've always noticed in people l've known and my own sitch, it's often typically a 1 to 2 year thing. Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Sorry to bore those who recognize me, but 64 y/o male. Hi nospam99, yea, I've read many of your posts and you're pretty cool. I appreciated your optimism and humor in past posts. Please hang in there! I am unable to provide experience in this situation. I've never dated that long. I've been at this for five months now. I was using Match heavily, sinking hours each evening into it. When I tried Bumble, I got immediate results with almost no effort. In my opinion, it's superior. My view has shifted to the thought that so many details in the Match profiles is a bunch of baloney. Instead of being a representation of valuable traits, they become rejection points. Plus, on Match, as a man, you're effectively required to waste your time messaging women who may or may not be interested. On Bumble, this time sink is eliminated, and only women who are interested in you will message you. Since the profile details are basically non-existent, the only way to learn about each other is through actual conversation (crazy, isn't it?). I don't know about you, but my goal has always been to talk with women, and on Bumble, that happens...AND its remarkably easy. Oh, and if you do try Bumble, don't burn through your chances. Take it slow. Also, pay the $2 to "super like" anyone you have more than a casual interest in. Keep using Match though (I seem to remember you use it), I'm just suggesting you also use Bumble. I'd be curious to hear how many women you see from your age group on Bumble. I figured it was an app for people roughly 18-24, but I found more than enough in my age group. (I'm 41.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 Keep using Match though (I seem to remember you use it), I'm just suggesting you also use Bumble. Thanks for your suggestion (and the props that I didn't carry into the quote). Yes, I use Match (and POF and OKC), but at this point definitely 'scraping the bottom of the barrel'. I appreciate the suggestion about Bumble. But it won't 'work for me' technologically because my cell phone is old and incompatible with the Bumble app (LOL maybe I should ask one of my boys if they'll let me squat at their phone just for Bumble ). Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Thanks for your suggestion (and the props that I didn't carry into the quote). Yes, I use Match (and POF and OKC), but at this point definitely 'scraping the bottom of the barrel'. I appreciate the suggestion about Bumble. But it won't 'work for me' technologically because my cell phone is old and incompatible with the Bumble app (LOL maybe I should ask one of my boys if they'll let me squat at their phone just for Bumble ). Thanks again. Can you not install an update of your system, or are you still using an old-fashioned cell phone (not a smartphone)? If finding the right woman is so important, what’s stopping you from getting a newer phone, even just an inexpensive refurbished one? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Why don't you try that "Our Time" thing I see on TV? Sorry, I can't help with any advice....just a thought... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Why don't you try that "Our Time" thing I see on TV? Sorry, I can't help with any advice....just a thought... TFY Is 'Farmers Only' still around? I always pictured myself meeting my man there. A first date involving a tractor would have been awesome. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 Can you not install an update of your system, or are you still using an old-fashioned cell phone (not a smartphone)? If finding the right woman is so important, what’s stopping you from getting a newer phone, even just an inexpensive refurbished one? My 'smart phone' is a Blackberry. And I have plenty of dumb phones. I'm not going to spend hundreds of dollars just to try Bumble. I'll ask my sons to use their phones - their reactions should be 'fun' or 'funny' (they know I'm OLDing and speed-dating). Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 Why don't you try that ''Our Time'' thing I see on TV? Sorry, I can't help with any advice....just a thought... TFY I've been on ourtime. It's 'this sux level 1' - not as bad as eharmony and elite because at least you can search and pick people to contact on your own, but sux because profiles are totally free-form so you're at the mercy of the creativity of the users for how much you can learn about them in their profiles. Nice of people to offer 'tactical' advice. But I really started the thread to ask how long people thought an OLD 'safari' was likely to take before achieving 'success' (whatever that means - some people would be satisfied just getting laid, I would like to find an LTR companion). Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 dude, how do we know how long it's going to take for you to meet THE ONE? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 For perspective it's probably worth mentioning ... I live in the 'second cut' of the suburbs north of NYC in the band between Sullivan and Litchfield counties. Most of the women whose profiles I see are in the 'first cut' between Rockland and Fairfield. So I'm 'competing' for dates with richer guys who live in the first cut. It is what it is - just one demographic factor which probably affects my hopefully eventual success. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 dude, how do we know how long it's going to take for you to meet THE ONE? You don't and I don't. I'm just asking for opinions and anecdotes - not all that different from a LOT of LS threads. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 You don't and I don't. I'm just asking for opinions and anecdotes - not all that different from a LOT of LS threads. well, at my age (53) i'm not looking for THE ONE anymore, my two criteria now are 1) a college education and 2) a pulse Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 well, at my age (53) i'm not looking for THE ONE anymore, my two criteria now are 1) a college education and 2) a pulse Care to elaborate on 2)? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 For perspective it's probably worth mentioning ... I live in the 'second cut' of the suburbs north of NYC in the band between Sullivan and Litchfield counties. Most of the women whose profiles I see are in the 'first cut' between Rockland and Fairfield. So I'm 'competing' for dates with richer guys who live in the first cut. It is what it is - just one demographic factor which probably affects my hopefully eventual success. Why are you not "seeing" profiles of "second cut" women? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Care to elaborate on 2)? she has to be alive Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Why are you not "seeing" profiles of "second cut" women? Or better yet, third cut ones? How many cuts are there, btw? I’m not so concerned about competing with the rich men from NYC. But these first cut women may not be thrilled about the second cut areas (their cultures, people). Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 (edited) I've been on ourtime. It's 'this sux level 1' - not as bad as eharmony and elite because at least you can search and pick people to contact on your own, but sux because profiles are totally free-form so you're at the mercy of the creativity of the users for how much you can learn about them in their profiles. Nice of people to offer 'tactical' advice. But I really started the thread to ask how long people thought an OLD 'safari' was likely to take before achieving 'success' (whatever that means - some people would be satisfied just getting laid, I would like to find an LTR companion). OK...fair enough.... Here is an actual testimonial from a childhood buddy of mine.. Got divorced...Did OLD....He says mostly POF and Tinder..maybe others I dunno.. Mid 50's guy...Lousy physique, average looking, tatted up biker type...Pretty much broke...I guess he has some alpha in him, I don't see it, but I can't otherwise understand why women go for him...>He does have a good line of BS and i've seen him hoodwink gullible waitresses and such when we've been out....OK...Just wanted to give you a picture for your head.. He spent 18 or so months trolling OLD....Met, I think he said 40+ women that dated him..He was juggling more than one for some time...Says he slept with over 20 of them..Doubt he was lying as he would regularly show me the explicit texts/photos(note to women, if they tell you that they aren't sharing the sexy photos you send, think again), not that I even cared.....Slept with some numerous times...Met the woman he's with now is seems pretty happy...Got off all the sites... So for him it took 18 months with a bunch of joyrides in the process..But no two people are the same, so take it for whatever its worth, I guess.. TFY Edited October 11, 2018 by thefooloftheyear Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 Why are you not ''seeing'' profiles of ''second cut'' women? I am. What it is, is that most of the profiles I see are from what I described as the 'first cut' band of counties. Just demographics since there are more people living there as well as higher incomes because a higher proportion of the people commute into NYC - just economics. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 OK...fair enough.... Here is an actual testimonial from a childhood buddy of mine.. Got divorced...Did OLD....He says mostly POF and Tinder..maybe others I dunno.. Mid 50's guy...Lousy physique, average looking, tatted up biker type...Pretty much broke...I guess he has some alpha in him, I don't see it, but I can't otherwise understand why women go for him...>He does have a good line of BS and i've seen him hoodwink gullible waitresses and such when we've been out....OK...Just wanted to give you a picture for your head.. He spent 18 or so months trolling OLD....Met, I think he said 40+ women that dated him..He was juggling more than one for some time...Says he slept with over 20 of them..Doubt he was lying as he would regularly show me the explicit texts/photos(note to women, if they tell you that they aren't sharing the sexy photos you send, think again), not that I even cared.....Slept with some numerous times...Met the woman he's with now is seems pretty happy...Got off all the sites... So for him it took 18 months with a bunch of joyrides in the process..But no two people are the same, so take it for whatever its worth, I guess.. TFY as I've stated many time on LS - when young it is women that have the upper hand in dating. when older it's men who have the upper hand. that is the only explanation of the above scenario Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 (edited) Or better yet, third cut ones? How many cuts are there, btw? I’m not so concerned about competing with the rich men from NYC. But these first cut women may not be thrilled about the second cut areas (their cultures, people). As many cuts as you want. I was using 'cuts' metaphorically, like the rough on a golf course. Third cut north of NYC would also be second cut south of the Albany-Schenectady-Troy SMSA, running into Massachusetts rather than Connecticut at the eastern edge. Culture? Yes, there's a split. I rarely contact women whose profiles say they want to go into NYC for theatre, concerts, etc and stick instead to those who want to hike, bike, climb mountains, and kayak. Most of the women I see who are 'outdoorsy' still live in what I described as the first cut where there are plenty of small mountains, forests, parks, and lakes. Edited October 11, 2018 by nospam99 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 Here is an actual testimonial from a childhood buddy of mine.. Thanks, TFY. Great example and totally on topic. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 as I've stated many time on LS - when young it is women that have the upper hand in dating. when older it's men who have the upper hand. that is the only explanation of the above scenario Not the only explanation, it is not his age that makes him irresistable to some. Tats and a biker type, scream that he is younger in outlook than his years, he is not some 50+ yo fuddy duddy, add in the gift of the gab and some women will love him. Bikes and bikers are pretty sexy. I would have to qualify to say "some women" because others would not give him the time of day, not their type at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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