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One moah (sic) OLD complaint - this time for match.com


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 16th September 2018, 11:06 AM   #1
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One moah (sic) OLD complaint - this time for match.com

Looking for (more) sympathetic 'oh, poor baby' responses here ...

Perhaps this hurts more because I'm in a 'dry spell' and 'scraping the bottom of the barrel' i.e. I've messaged all the OLD women that have been around for months and now have to rely on 'fresh meat'. Got a Daily Match on match.com this morning - 100% Mutual Match and we hit all of each other's buttons. BUT geographically undesirable (70 miles away). I messaged her anyway, saying, among other things, how much it sucks that match.com often ignores distance preferences when generating the set of Daily Matches. She messaged back - pretty cool considering that my match.com response rate is way down to something like 25% (yeah, yeah - I know that some of you young guys WISH you got 25% but for ME it's way down). So we're exchanging friendly messages and may end up meeting some day for what would almost certainly be no more than a fun 'friend date'. On the one hand, it's 'nice' that there are women out there that may be interested in meeting. But it is frustrating as hell, that at least some of them are really 'too' far away (and I don't message them for that reason anyway).
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Old 16th September 2018, 6:48 PM   #2
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Let's flip this around in a positive manner.

What if you two did meet, just as friends? And you hit it off. And you decide that the glitch in match's system means it was meant to be?

You'd close the distance somehow if that were the case.

But I'll also give you what you're looking for: 'aw, you poor baby'.

From an eight year OLDer with no luck there. Met my H on Facebook, of all places.

Just keep plugging along. It's all you can do.
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Old 16th September 2018, 7:23 PM   #3
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What's that about, a 2 hr drive? Are either of you open to moving if things go well?
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Old 16th September 2018, 7:43 PM   #4
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What's that about, a 2 hr drive? Are either of you open to moving if things go well?
I could do that in an hour and change myself!

NoSpam - 70 miles isnít so bad if you have a car. You have to be realistic in that the chances you will find everything youíre looking for within a 10 mile radius is unrealistic unless you are in a very large city.

Iíve yet to connect with a woman who was less than 30 miles away (in NYC - which is like 1.5 hrs in transit). My last gf of 7 years lived 160 miles away. That was 2.5 - 3 hrs each way (though my best was 2:05).

Sure, it would be nice but there comes a point when you have to increase your radius. I wonít do long distance (where I canít see them on weekends unless I take a plane) but Iíve learbed what I want isnít on every corner.

Oh and poor baby
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Old 16th September 2018, 7:48 PM   #5
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What's that about, a 2 hr drive? Are either of you open to moving if things go well?
85 minute drive - mostly through 'wide open spaces' and backwoods with almost no good places to meet in between. The one exception is a downhill ski resort but at this point I don't think she's a skier and that's only good for weekends in the winter anyway. We barely know each other - just a few OLD messages exchanged. But so far she's a sweetheart. The distance thing aside, I think there's a lot to be said for a 100% Mutual Match. I wouldn't be surprised if we end up having some 'friend dates'. The gotcha is that when I'm 'courting' I'd like to be able to go to dinner, dancing, or a movie at least once a week. Difficult to do with the distance.

I'm not open to moving and as little as I know her I have no reason to believe she is either.
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Old 16th September 2018, 7:49 PM   #6
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But I'll also give you what you're looking for: 'aw, you poor baby'.
Thank you!
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Old 16th September 2018, 7:50 PM   #7
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I was going to say, just over an hour if it's mostly highway.

Meet in the middle, poor baby.
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Old 16th September 2018, 7:57 PM   #8
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Unhappy

oh, poor baby
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Old 16th September 2018, 8:00 PM   #9
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I could do that in an hour and change myself!

NoSpam - 70 miles isnít so bad if you have a car. You have to be realistic in that the chances you will find everything youíre looking for within a 10 mile radius is unrealistic unless you are in a very large city.

Iíve yet to connect with a woman who was less than 30 miles away (in NYC - which is like 1.5 hrs in transit). My last gf of 7 years lived 160 miles away. That was 2.5 - 3 hrs each way (though my best was 2:05).

Sure, it would be nice but there comes a point when you have to increase your radius. I wonít do long distance (where I canít see them on weekends unless I take a plane) but Iíve learbed what I want isnít on every corner.

Oh and poor baby
I have a car. And convenient as it would be, I'm not expecting 10 miles. As I noted above, this woman is at 85 minutes but with pretty much nothing on the route. My 'practical' radius is 50 minutes. And I did go out as far as 65 minutes for a 'very special someone' who unfortunately didn't work out. But that was with a major city in between where we could easily do dinner, dancing, and movies. And thanks for the 'poor baby'.
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Old 16th September 2018, 8:01 PM   #10
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oh, poor baby
Thanks you too, alpha!
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Old 16th September 2018, 8:11 PM   #11
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Meet in the middle, poor baby.
LOL. We'd be parking our cars in the high grass by the side of the Taconic Parkway (upstate NuYawkers know) and making love in the forest among the deer, coydogs, and black bear.
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Old 16th September 2018, 10:39 PM   #12
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LOL. We'd be parking our cars in the high grass by the side of the Taconic Parkway (upstate NuYawkers know) and making love in the forest among the deer, coydogs, and black bear.
Not that's there's anything wrong with that! You scart (sic) of bears?
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Old 16th September 2018, 11:07 PM   #13
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Sorry for commenting on your thread again

Itís probably your age group. But from what I read in your threads, you appear to be someone whoís a little inflexible in your dating approach
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Old 17th September 2018, 4:21 AM   #14
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nos nos nos. mine was a 12 hour drive but eh, she's down in the kitchen making tea right now.
And you know all about , well we won't go there.
Get in the effg car poor baby.
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Old 17th September 2018, 8:42 AM   #15
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Ask yourself this question: will the time you spend wondering what might have happened if you hadn't passed up the opportunity to meet a seemingly good match, be greater than the time you'd spend driving to meet her? If so, logically you should just go meet her, since time spent wondering will not give you any answers!



Think of it over the short term: you make the drive, that's a 3 hour round trip to meet this woman. If you like each other, then you can start to think about all the other logistical stuff (that you're already spending time thinking about). If it's not a good fit, then you don't have to wonder what could have been. Problem solved.



Seems to me like you really want an activity partner, which would be someone nearby. Totally understand that, and your hesitation to start something up with the 70-mile-away-woman.
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