LordVader Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 (edited) I bet lots of students interact at the university library, and they certainly dress to attract attention. I'm a science geek, but not social, so I don't know anyone. In theory I'd have more in common with girls at the library than at at bar. But libraries are super quiet, and people actually probably want to study. Any ideas how to try to talk at the library ? Maybe say hi, but then what ? Or is it the type of place where only people that already know each other a bit are likely to talk. I feel creepy enough at bars when I used to try going, but practically no girls wanted to talk about intellectual stuff there. Edited August 30, 2018 by LordVader Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 meet a girl in class and then ask her to study with you at the library. when it comes to libraries you have to bring your own girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Have you tried talking to people at used book stores?? I'm sure some of the local university students go to the used books in the area. Some book stores have little coffee shops in the back or nearby. After striking up a conversation, go have a cup of coffee and continue the conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 You and I are in the same boat old chap, the advice I am following is to talk to women (new women) until there is no nervousness, and at the same time build the skill to strike up a genuinely interesting conversation for the both of you. Women never want to hear about a guy who is "trying to make a sale" (in this case the sale is you). When the social nervousness is gone you will do so much better in getting the girl's attention and eventually a date. Next step for you - approach at least two to three ladies every day saying something different, with the only goal being to achieve conversational fluidity. Specifically give off the attitude that you don't care whether the conversation is a good one or a bad one, but you'll try for a good one anyway. If she doesn't like you move on to the next girl. In this way you will eventually strike up a good "flirting conversation" with someone who likes you and someone who you like, in the least amount of time. Woman rejecting you = the burn of the elbows when you are bench pressing, the more you do it, the less painful each individual burn feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Dodgersfan11 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 As a female, I've never met a guy there. As many times as I've gone to Barnes and Noble, can't think of a time. I think I might have to show off some cleavage there to attract a guys attention Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 My rule of thumb is to look at the purpose of the venue and use it appropriately. A party is to socialise in and a library is for working and reading quietly. For example, through both high school and uni, my daughter would choose to study in a library so that she could work uninterrupted. Even the 'naughty kids' at school would sit quietly at the library and study. Had she been single, the only chance there may have been would be if she found someone else studying exactly the same thing at her table (or a topic which one of them was able to assist the other with) and got to know each other by sharing of thoughts and information on the topic. Happy Lemming's suggestion of a bookstore with a cafe is better. Though still, my intention would be to go and read. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Wait! I just read that you're 35. Most women studying in libraries are high school or college age. These women would have good social lives and have lots of male friends and suitors their own age. Forget about it. I suggest you chat with random women closer to your own age at expos for the things you're interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LordVader Posted August 30, 2018 Author Share Posted August 30, 2018 the lobby is about the only place to say anything, and yeah many are too young anyway I hated uni, I was such a reject Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 When you're entering and exiting the library, just be friendly or hold the door open if you see someone you might think is attractive. I guess libraries are a little less quiet now than they used to be, but you still don't want to interrupt someone if they have their textbook out and are studying. You might say "Good luck with your studies" on your way out and hope you see her again and gradually strike up a rapport. Link to post Share on other sites
Penguin_hugs Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 When I was at uni- people were certainly not dressed to impress! Most of the time it was jeans and a hoody- worn by everyone! And I agree- most go to the library to be undisturbed- so this may not be the best environment for trying to find a date. However, it nay depend on what time during the semester you go. If it is near exams/deadlines- personally it would have been people who do not want to be interrupted while studying- or less studious types who decide last minute that they should make an effort and be "seen" in the library with their friends. If you go early in the semester, you are more likely to find the type of people who are genuinely studious. I always studied hard- but vacated the library during exam time because the "riff raff" that suddenly occupied the library really disturbed my flow! Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Library? What is that? They still exist? I don't think it's a good idea. If you're that nerdy join a social group with your same nerd beliefs or nerd interests. A library is like a gym locker room or a vending machine. You do what you need to do and you get out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LordVader Posted September 1, 2018 Author Share Posted September 1, 2018 One time I went last year I went, and sat in a place and a younger girl was there, and I wasn't going to say anything, I just did some homework type stuff while waiting for the bus. I almost felt like a few times she wanted me to say something, anything, but IDK, she was surfing the net or something. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 You can't go wrong by just smiling and saying hi casually and then going back to what you were doing. It opens the door. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted September 5, 2018 Share Posted September 5, 2018 I have tried libraries and book stores and the usual response verbally or in facial expression was: I am here to study, not to meet someone. Or I am here to look for a book, not to chat. when girls say they are not interested in talking, that means with me or you. With the right person, they will. Link to post Share on other sites
KatCha Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 It seems like you are wanting to create a "moment?" Such as when Matt Damon enters a cafe where he meets his future wife in the movie, "We Bought A Zoo." Which is a pretty good movie, by the way. Of course his line is super dramatic and he appears to know that he would marry her from the start, so I wouldn't advise saying what he says (but I love his wife's response-"Why not?!") Anyways, back on topic--I would say meet a girl in the library because you already might like her or want to get to know her (better). Chance meetings that Hollywood films produce are great, but that type of situation occur's in real life randomly. I would think that joining a club where your interests are clear would be a better place to meet new women on campus, if that is your intent. I do not see what is wrong with chatting up strangers in a library though-I know when I visit the library, if I am wearing my glasses and can see who is around me, I have no problem smiling and making small talk with a person sitting next to me at the computer rows, or book aisles, or printing areas because I am super happy and friendly most days. The conundrum for you though, may be that if you do manage to chit-chat with a woman for a moment, are you intending to ask her out somewhere, or are you going to ask her for her number, or are you just going to walk away after the interaction? I suppose your intent, after your initial conversation starts, would be where the question lies, in my opinion? What are you trying to accomplish at the library? A successful pick-up? A future date with a person? A new friend? Or just interaction with a random attractive woman for your own intents and purposes? Perhaps you could clarify that first? I do not see anything wrong with chatting briefly at a library if it is a friendly exchange though-Good luck with it turning into more, if that is your wish! Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 When I was in college, there was a LOT of socializing at the library. In fact, if I needed to get serious studying done, I would not go to the library, or I'd go to the specific spot in the library where socializing/talking was strictly prohibited, and it was enforced. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 When I was in college, there was a LOT of socializing at the library. In fact, if I needed to get serious studying done, I would not go to the library, or I'd go to the specific spot in the library where socializing/talking was strictly prohibited, and it was enforced. at my local public library I see mostly the "cool" kids studying and socializing, I don't know where the nerdy kids go Link to post Share on other sites
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