What's wrong with me?

[george_green]

This is going to be a bit longer, so please, bear with me.

 

I've been having a recurring issue which has troubled me my whole life. Ever since I was very young (I'm talking six year old here) I've been a hopeless romantic. I remember I had crushes all the time, and have had vivid dreams about finding the one for myself when I was eight year old. It wouldn't be a problem in and out of itself, if I have had any luck in love to begin with. Since elementary school, ever since I started noticing girls and developing school crushes, I've been constantly pushed away. For some reason, girls have always perceived me as weird, unattractive and loathsome. I was a rather tall kid, very sensitive and my body posture in combination with my introverted personality made me look odd to others, I suppose. So everytime I fell in love with a girl I was rudely pushed away. In higher grades of elementary schools, girls went out of their way to ridicule me and mock me, making disgusted faces, one of them even called me out on a fake birthday and then ridiculed me for it in front of whole school next morning.

I haven't kissed until I was sixteen years old, and even then it was because I rejected my past self and decided rejecting everything I was before, becoming something I'm not. But returning to the point, my luck in love never really returned. I've had some girls here and there, for some time I even thought my luck has turned. Until 2015., I've been able to find girls, simply because I decided to stop caring and practically been with any girl that showed even a remote interest in me. Then I met my ex.

We've been dating for some time, and she was the first person who actually cared about me. However, because I decided to settle for any girl, it bit me in the back and I just haven't felt that something for her. I thought I would fall in love with time, but it never happened. I started realizing I would be even less happier with her than alone. We broke up in 2016., and for two years now, I haven't been in a single relationship. It got so bad, I started thinking I will never find anyone for myself. Every single time I tried, something went wrong. I'm not superstitious, but if I was I would say she made a wish for me to never find anyone who loves me anymore. I'm not unattractive, I've made a lot of changes to my looks and personality, yet I simply can't seem to find love that I'm yearning for and it's making me depressed, lonely and anxious. I'm 27, and with each year that goes by I start thinking my time has passed on and I won't ever find a decent girl who would care for me as much as I care for her. Am I cursed in love, am I unattractive, or is it really wrong to ask for a simple thing as someone who cares about you same as you care about them?

 

https://ibb.co/hYtORy this is me

[ElKay]

I don't see anything particularly wrong about your pic or anything like that. If it makes you feel less alone, I'm 27 and never had someone love me back even if I had 2 boyfriends in the last few years! Some people just have a harder time finding someone that they'll match well with.

Have you ever tried online dating or have you been attempting to only meet in person? I've had horrible luck in-person, so meeting people online was how I got my only two boyfriends. xD

[d0nnivain]

You have a nice smile & a full head of hair. You dress neatly.

 

Just keep being yourself but perhaps don't try so hard. Develop yourself as a person. Have hobbies. Do things. Be interesting. As you develop a greater comfort in your own skin you will become more attractive to everyone.