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What is wrong with me?


countrygirl130

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countrygirl130

I can't understand why I can not find that special someone. I have had NO luck with online dating at all. I can message several guys with no reply back. What am i doing wrong?

 

My profile

"During the week I am working full time for visiting nurse as a Nurses aide. I love my job, I have lots of freedom and can make my own hours, It allows me to have the funds to enjoy my hobbies.

 

I am looking for an honest, hard-working, caring, someone that makes me laugh, I love to cuddle, Kissing under the stars everything a relationship brings.

 

In my free time I can be found, Horseback riding (Either showing or trail riding), Camping I dont have a camper (yet!) , Rodeo's, 4 Wheeling, Fireworks (I LOVE them!) Country music, car shows, bonfires, cookouts.

 

In all honesty it took me over an hour to write this! I am no good at writing about myself. Shoot me a message If you really want to get to know me.

 

What I am looking for.

Caucasian man

28 to 38 years old

Job

own place

Must be drug free

Only looking for a serious relationship not looking for a hookup. "

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This doesn't make much sense to me, as your profile message seems fine. However, I think the site or service you use could possibly be a factor. I briefly participated in a forum on a dating site (Mingle2, just to use the forum), and someone had said the site was full of fake profiles and bots. The site that I do use for online dating is Match.com and have had good success messaging people. Oh, do you have a profile picture? If you don't, that also could be a problem.

 

BTW, I think it's great that you are sending messages out. I've only had one woman send me a message first, and I loved it!

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I'm not surprised that you're not getting any takers. Granted I don't know much about online dating but your grammar and writing style really let you down. Is English your second language? If so, you may want to write that down as something interesting about you because it will also explain your writing.

 

Take out the bit about enjoying your work because it gives you money. We all work for money, so write why you actually enjoy the work you do. The bit about it taking an hour to write this is letting you down too: it's not something you really want to be admitting to people.

 

I've fixed your grammar below. I found that once I cleaned it up, it became much more readable and I saw that you have a really fun lifestyle. I hope that someone who has experience with online dating will come and further style it for you. I wish you luck finding your cowboy.

 

During the week I work full time as a nurse's aide for a visiting nurse. I love my job as I (write something positive about being an aide - perhaps making a difference to people's lives or the broad range of people you meet). An added bonus is that it gives me the freedom set to my own hours.

 

I'm an outdoorsy type of woman. I've got a beautiful xxxx horse and have been horseback riding (both showing and trail riding) for X many years. I love camping and hope to buy a camper soon. Rodeos are great fun as is 4 wheeling. I love a good firework display, country music, car shows, bonfires and cookouts. I can cook a mean xxxx!

 

I am looking for an honest, hard-working, caring man who will enjoy the outdoors with me. I love to laugh and have fun with a partner, cuddle, kiss under the stars and the all the fun a romantic relationship brings.

 

 

What I am looking for.

Caucasian man

28 to 38 years old

Has a job

Own place

Must be drug free

I'm looking for a serious relationship only.

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Yeah l think it was fine .

And you sound like a great catch too with a lot of down to earth common sense and ideas, own hours n free time, love all that.

 

Not sure if your in the city or a rural area though, probably wouldn't work too well for city guys.

Are they guys similar to you ?

And yeah , how's your pics , and ahhh, the not so nicer question , looks , weight ?

Edited by Chilli
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Hey boys - you really left me wondering about the grammar thing, so I asked hubby for his opinion. For context, hubby is white collar and will not hire a worker if there are spellos or incorrect grammar on their CV. I offered a description of OLD profile consisting of poor grammar and writing style but a pretty face. He looked really torn for about 10 seconds and then said that pretty only goes so far and that he also needs intelligence. To him, literacy and intelligence are strongly linked.

 

That said, I'm sure that literacy is not an issue for the average guy who doesn't worry about it for himself either. It really depends on what a girl is looking for.

Edited by basil67
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When it comes to occupations, a nurses aid is the bottom of the range in terms of money and skill. I'd keep that out of your profile.

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You sound super outdoors-y which would be a little exhausting for someone that likes to stay at home too. Which site are you using? I've had great success with okcupid because you also get to filter matches a bit better with the percentages of matching.

 

The photos are veryyyy important too. Do you have photos only with sunglasses on or something blurry? It can make it or break it. I need to see the face of the person I am looking into dating and someone with sunglasses on a horse might not be worth my time if I can't see what they look like.

What kind of photos do you have in terms of what they show?

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Happy Lemming
...someone that makes me laugh...

I need to preface my post by saying, I HATE OLD and only tried for a brief period of time. The "kiss of death" for me on any profile was the above line.

 

Why is it my responsibility to make you laugh?? Do you want a court jester?? I'm not "Jerry Seinfeld"!!

 

It seems A LOT of profiles had this line in it. Moreover I like originality, this line is so overused!!

 

How about "I laugh easily and have a whimsical sense of humor"?? To me that would be a better line vs. someone that makes me laugh.

 

Just my two cents....

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Most guys look at the pictures only. Sure we'll take a glance at the profile and see how she writes and if there's anything useful in there but let's face it most OLD profiles pretty much say the same thing.

 

 

It's all about the looks. If you don't have good looks and a nice figure, you're going to have problems meeting guys. []

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Solicitation of personal pictures is disallowed
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Hey boys - you really left me wondering about the grammar thing, so I asked hubby for his opinion. For context, hubby is white collar and will not hire a worker if there are spellos or incorrect grammar on their CV. I offered a description of OLD profile consisting of poor grammar and writing style but a pretty face. He looked really torn for about 10 seconds and then said that pretty only goes so far and that he also needs intelligence. To him, literacy and intelligence are strongly linked.

 

That said, I'm sure that literacy is not an issue for the average guy who doesn't worry about it for himself either. It really depends on what a girl is looking for.

 

@basil67 you have got to realize how much we men do our decision-making with our "little" heads :laugh:

 

I agree w @enigma. OP's text is fine, and is certainly not the reason why she isn't getting responses. Maybe her grammar has a mistake or two [to be honest I didn't really notice either way], BUT in her text she comes across as an earnest sweet young lady. And that is a plus.

 

We men really are visual and it is all in the pictures. OP, are you showing at least one full-body shot? I notice that many many women post only headshots. (Whether they do this for a reason--perhaps because they get too many sexual messages posting body shots or instead because they are shy, is another topic.)

 

That you are on a site that just doesn't get much traffic, OR you happen to live way out in the country where the population density is that low, is quite another reason.

Edited by Imajerk17
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It doesn't seem all the bad, maybe your pics are just bad shots of yourself.

 

The only thing I can think of is that your profile paints you as a country girl and maybe you are after guys who don't want that..

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Unhappy_Nerd

Male who's currently active in OLD here...

 

Your profile reads...OK. I'm about as far from your target demographic as you can get, but nothing sticks out to me as a huge red flag.

 

I would cut the "serious relationship" bit, but leave the "No hookups".

 

My bigger questions is where are you posting this? I'm in the midwest, and I see far more of your type of profile on Bumble than I do on Tinder. OK Cupid seems to be more of the nerdy types, so I don't know if it'd do well there.

 

And I wouldn't say pics are the only thing a guys looks at...I usually swipe left on any woman that doesn't have at least some info in her bio.

 

And for god's sake, if you have any kids put that in your profile. I've matched with 6 women in the last week who I've more or less immediately said not interested to after I found out they had kids.

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Unhappy_Nerd
Hey boys - you really left me wondering about the grammar thing, so I asked hubby for his opinion. For context, hubby is white collar and will not hire a worker if there are spellos or incorrect grammar on their CV. I offered a description of OLD profile consisting of poor grammar and writing style but a pretty face. He looked really torn for about 10 seconds and then said that pretty only goes so far and that he also needs intelligence. To him, literacy and intelligence are strongly linked.

 

That said, I'm sure that literacy is not an issue for the average guy who doesn't worry about it for himself either. It really depends on what a girl is looking for.

 

100% agree with your husband. I'm also a white collar worker- senior accountant at an insurance firm, and a CPA.

 

I'm fine with bullet lists or similar...Just don't put a block of text in there that has poor punctuation, bad spelling, and crappy grammar. Heck, I think I'd give bonus points to a woman with a Power Point presentation in her Instagram. lol.

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I need to preface my post by saying, I HATE OLD and only tried for a brief period of time. The "kiss of death" for me on any profile was the above line.

 

Why is it my responsibility to make you laugh?? Do you want a court jester?? I'm not "Jerry Seinfeld"!!

 

It seems A LOT of profiles had this line in it. Moreover I like originality, this line is so overused!!

 

How about "I laugh easily and have a whimsical sense of humor"?? To me that would be a better line vs. someone that makes me laugh.

 

Just my two cents....

 

 

Yep forgot to mention l despised women using that lone too , like they wanna sit on their butt and be entertained. Whenever l saw that line l kept on walking and l'd think , goes both ways princess , you gonna make me laugh ?

The other thing is that line is such a trend for women now, me l like original.

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When it comes to occupations, a nurses aid is the bottom of the range in terms of money and skill. I'd keep that out of your profile.

 

Why? Are men looking for money?

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Intelligence is a funny thing. Take me, for instance. Comparatively speaking, I kinda suck at math, and I ain't all that great at language and writing either. Yet, when I take an IQ test with all of those analogies and pattern detection questions and suddenly I seem much smarter. We are all smart in our own ways.

 

I guess what it comes down to is, unless someone's writing is an affront to all English speaking people everywhere, I don't automatically assume they are dumb.

 

I agree with you on intelligence and literacy. Some highly intelligent people are dyslexic. Or have been put in life situations where they haven't been supported adequately through education.

 

That said, your writing indicates to me that you're both literate and intelligent.

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outwithpeterpan
I can't understand why I can not find that special someone. I have had NO luck with online dating at all. I can message several guys with no reply back. What am i doing wrong?

 

My profile

"During the week I am working full time for visiting nurse as a Nurses aide. I love my job, I have lots of freedom and can make my own hours, It allows me to have the funds to enjoy my hobbies.

 

I am looking for an honest, hard-working, caring, someone that makes me laugh, I love to cuddle, Kissing under the stars everything a relationship brings.

 

In my free time I can be found, Horseback riding (Either showing or trail riding), Camping I dont have a camper (yet!) , Rodeo's, 4 Wheeling, Fireworks (I LOVE them!) Country music, car shows, bonfires, cookouts.

 

In all honesty it took me over an hour to write this! I am no good at writing about myself. Shoot me a message If you really want to get to know me.

 

What I am looking for.

Caucasian man

28 to 38 years old

Job

own place

Must be drug free

Only looking for a serious relationship not looking for a hookup. "

 

OP, don't take this the wrong way, but the profile could really use a re-write.

 

Here's my cut at it:

 

Hi, I'm _______. You could say I'm a country girl. I ride horses (both show- and trail-riding) and four-wheelers. I go to rodeos and car shows. I love camping and fireworks. I work full-time as a nurse's aid. My favorite musicians include _________ and _________.

 

I'm looking for a serious relationship with a man who is 28-38 years old. Please be drug-free, gainfully employed, and independent. (Insert kind, caring or hard-working here if you like).

 

Talk to you soon.

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Hi, I'm _______. You could say I'm a country girl. I ride horses (both show- and trail-riding) and four-wheelers. I go to rodeos and car shows. I love camping and fireworks. I work full-time as a nurse's aid. My favorite musicians include _________ and _________.

 

I'm looking for a serious relationship with a man who is 28-38 years old. Please be drug-free, gainfully employed, and independent. (Insert kind, caring or hard-working here if you like).

 

Talk to you soon.

 

^^^This is excellent.

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Unhappy_Nerd
Most guys aren't gonna care about some minor spelling and/or grammar mistakes. Now, a profile that is riddled horrible grammar and spelling might put some guys off, but many won't even care about it if a girl absolutely butchers the English language. Some dudes may claim otherwise, but looks reign supreme. If a girl is reasonably cute, what she puts in her profile is pretty much meaningless. In my experience, most profiles are BS anyway, so I didn't really care what anyone wrote.

 

When it comes to language and intelligence, I don't put much stock in it. Firstly, women, in general, tend to be better at language-related skills. This is why I always advise ladies to not judge men so harshly on our often poor grammar and writing skills. Men aren't usually the best at that sort of thing. It would be like men judging women harshly because she can't bench press what we can. Silliness.

 

I strenuously disagree on this. Maybe the Bro's out there don't care. But I don't think anyone in my social circle would be willing to seriously date someone who butchers the English language in their profile. Looks are not everything...they matter of course, but profiles matter more.

 

At least put the important stuff in there. Kids/No kids. Religious? Political leanings, if that matters to you. Whether or not you drink/smoke/420. These things are immediate deal breakers to a lot of people, one way or the other. And if you don't want to write a biography, just make a list.

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