Crow795 Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 I am meeting and dating a lot of girls but it never lasts long. Mainly because I cut any connection that manages to hold. Even if we have great time together, I find reasons to cut it and sometimes with out any good reason. I just can't form a bond, or emotional attachment to the girls i date with. I like them and enjoy being with them but I never connect enough to feel love. I felt love one time, long ago. but it was after I left her for no good reason. Is that normal? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 I felt love one time, long ago. but it was after I left her for no good reason. Is that normal? Maybe you have a fear of commitment?? Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion... I'm an older individual (52) and never been married. My current relationship is my longest (6 years) but we are not getting married and not living together. Most of my "relationships" usually only last a 3-6 months, some made it two years, but that was a rarity. Who's to say what "normal" is... I've really enjoyed my life, been adventurous, nomadic and "foot loose and fancy free"!! You get one life... live it the way you want and don't worry about what society or your parents or anyone else thinks about your choices!! Have fun your way!! Blue skies... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Crow795 Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 Maybe you have a fear of commitment?? Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion... I'm an older individual (52) and never been married. My current relationship is my longest (6 years) but we are not getting married and not living together. Most of my "relationships" usually only last a 3-6 months, some made it two years, but that was a rarity. Who's to say what "normal" is... I've really enjoyed my life, been adventurous, nomadic and "foot loose and fancy free"!! You get one life... live it the way you want and don't worry about what society or your parents or anyone else thinks about your choices!! Have fun your way!! Blue skies... But I am not that kind of guy. I prefer to find the one girl I'll love instead of having many. Of course I am afraid of commitment but it doesn't mean I am not trying. And it still doesn't work out the way I want it to. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 But I am not that kind of guy. I prefer to find the one girl I'll love instead of having many. Of course I am afraid of commitment but it doesn't mean I am not trying. And it still doesn't work out the way I want it to. Yes... Sometimes life doesn't work out the way we want. My guess is when you find that true love, that fear of commitment will melt away... Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 I'm not sure if we're allowed to mention books on here but there's one called He's Scared, She's Scared about emotional unavailability. It's interesting to note that you felt the love after she was gone (unavailable) and not when in the relationship. What was your parental relationship like to you and to each other when you were growing up? Usually these patterns start with imprinting in childhood and you'll need to work through your tendency to run in order to have the fulfilling relationship that you desire through some means of therapy. I wouldn't expect it to just vanish some day on its own, tbh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 To some extent having a good relationship is about compromise. You will never get every single thing you want & there will be times when the other person is moody or not acting exactly how you expect them too. You have to allow for your partner's flaws, quirks, preferences & moods. Do you do that? I'm not talking about tolerating abuse but I am talking about patience & forgiveness. My husband can't plan for squat. Makes me crazy but he's a really good guy & that point of irritation is insignificant. Similarly, while I love the beach, he hates it. Now to you, that may be a reason to dump him because you would feel resentful that your SO did not enjoy this thing that was important to you. I understand I can go to the beach with my friends or by myself so that my introvert husband has time alone to recharge & his delicate pale skin doesn't risk burning. Something as trivial as that is no reason to end a relationship. We compromise & do things other than beach vacations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Sounds like you have an avoidant attachment style. Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyKatLady Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Sounds like you aren't dating a woman after getting to know her first, over a period of time. Get to know someone first, then you can find love without going through so many encounters. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 I am meeting and dating a lot of girls but it never lasts long. Mainly because I cut any connection that manages to hold. Even if we have great time together, I find reasons to cut it and sometimes with out any good reason. I just can't form a bond, or emotional attachment to the girls i date with. I like them and enjoy being with them but I never connect enough to feel love. I felt love one time, long ago. but it was after I left her for no good reason. Is that normal? Dunno how old you are and not reading the rest but yaknow, you don't feel like forming a relationship with just anyone , yaknow. You should know no ifs or buts if you wanna stick around or not. But you probably have some stuff too about letting something form but believe me, l dunno about that one because if you want someone around , truly , then you won't be doing bs anyway and risk losing it. Could be like most seem to do , your just going out with anyone's so it'd be no wonder it doesn't go anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
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