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I No Longer Need A Girlfriend To Be Happy


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 4th February 2018, 3:10 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by drakon12 View Post
To me, it's about money. If I had money, I wouldn't still live with my parents, I'd have my own car, I'd attend to activities that would fasten my personal growth. For example, people really like my voice. They say I have a deep and soothing voice. I'd really like to take a professional dubbing training and see where it'd go. I'd take professional help in just about anything I need, be it going to a therapist or working with a dietitian and a personal trainer. I'd dress better. But I can't afford these things and I think it's hindering my growth.
I've only once been to a therapist who told me I didn't need a therapist. I took one free lesson from a personal trainer that I got when I joined a gym, and I adjusted my diet and workout on feedback from friends and co-workers, as well as the things I learned in the military. A lot in this life is available for free if you just ask and are willing to give in return.

I remember hauling my date around town on the luggage rack of my bicycle when I was a student. Probably not the most convenient form of transportation for me and her, but it definitely showed that I was willing to put in the effort, both literally and figuratively. I had no money to spend on clothes in those days.

HL's advice about second hand clothes is spot on. Used suits are great, and you can have them changed for not a whole lot. I buy most of my dress shirts for under $20, which is easy, because styles change relatively slowly. Invest in some good shoes and belts and you are set. As a guy you have the advantage that you really don't need that many outfits.
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Old 4th February 2018, 6:09 PM   #17
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Yeah to right , l couldn't effg believe it in my 30s , women were literally everywhere , even if l was with my wife , made no difference they'd still try their luck right in front of her.
Def' a great age for a guy , about the best l'd say and if you look young for your age you can look forward to it running up till early to mid 40s.

Last edited by Chilli; 4th February 2018 at 6:11 PM..
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Old 4th February 2018, 9:01 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Aren't you in your early twenties? You definitely need to enjoy your time as a free man before settling down . You've plenty of time to find a mate!
Can't believe that play .CA. Your boys better pull it off.
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Old 4th February 2018, 10:00 PM   #19
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I think this depends on the woman. If she thinks she is gonna be treated like a princess the way she was when she was younger, hotter, and likely just all around more appealing, then she will have a rough time in her 30's. If she doesn't waste all of her time trying to go after guys that are no longer interested in her, she will be fine. Plenty of guys still date women 35+ but it might not be that rich, good-looking, successful doctor she has her eye on.
See, I believe that I am still a catch in pretty much every way, despite my age. I refuse to settle for anything less than my equal. I don't want the "age-adjusted" version of my equal.

It's either that or nothing for me
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Old 5th February 2018, 1:27 AM   #20
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I think you have taken a very positive step but I caution you about thinking that magically in your early 30's dating will be easy, I am nearly 34 and that simply isn't the case for me, its as impossible as its ever been.


What I do think is you have realised wants versus needs and being happy is a need of sorts and is possible without any people at all.


Your post resonates with me because I went down the same road basically and found myself in the same mire of unhappiness as a result and I wont lie there are difficult days.
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Old 5th February 2018, 2:24 AM   #21
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I think you have taken a very positive step but I caution you about thinking that magically in your early 30's dating will be easy, I am nearly 34 and that simply isn't the case for me, its as impossible as its ever been.


What I do think is you have realised wants versus needs and being happy is a need of sorts and is possible without any people at all.


Your post resonates with me because I went down the same road basically and found myself in the same mire of unhappiness as a result and I wont lie there are difficult days.
Yeaaah, I didn’t want to be discouraging, but this notion that age instantly makes dating easier for you is a tad misleading. Maybe it works that way for some people, but don’t be disappointed if you just wait around doing nothing and think once your 30th birthday rolls over you automatically become a chick magnet.

It’s really more what you do with that time and hopefully positive growth/self improvement. Predominantly your social skills and getting financially secure. I think women in general may become less discerning about appearanvd as they age. That’s 100% conjecture and could be 100% wrong though. I believe you should use all this time you have for learning/practicing/getting xp for the best result

NGL, I was an awkward child and I remember my dad’s friend telling him, “Watch out, you’re going to be batting them off when she’s a teenager.” I put no effort in changing

Teen years rolled around and I was an awkward teenager. Sure, I had a few guys interested and I had a ‘boyfriend’ for a month at 18 (I wasn’t attracted to), but that’s just by virtue of my sex. If anything, that made it worse. It was nothing like my friends who serial dated. I don’t know if I even cared much most of the time.

But I do remember bemoaning to my mom about it and she told me 21 would be when the fun starts. So I waited and still made no changes.

By the time my 20s hit, I had long given up on success with dating. Only recently I developed this ‘ devil may care’ attitude and just trying to get some xp to level up in the romance area.. I think that’s the biggest thing that comes with age; the insecurities (hopefully) lessen. You stop caring so much what others think of you and realize it’s a now or never type thing...So yes, only recently I’ve had more luck with opposite sex than ever

I’m still very awkward. It’s such a weird thing with that, because it’s so hard to put your finger on what’s wrong. It’s a conglomerate of things. I suppose too many nail down. I think people can sense it on a visceral level. I do think there’s a bus I missed awhile back and I will never be completely caught up. Oh well.

That aside, I still have a lot of hope for you, guitarguy7. You seem intelligent , funny, and have a good head on your shoulders. Your threads are thoughtful I think you’re going to school rn? Keep doing/working on you. You have a lot of time for the headache of a gf. It seems like when you stop caring, things come.

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 5th February 2018 at 3:02 AM..
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