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In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 27th January 2018, 11:14 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 333
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Just wanted to get this written down somewhere, and this site was a great place to have been about 4 years ago going through a breakup.

I met a girl this past August, we work together at the same school. We have similar interests, similar sense of humor, the same indifference to politics. We've hung out a couple times with some coworkers and end up sitting next to each other, probably coincidentally, and have good conversations. I make her laugh quite often and it seems like we have a great time and conversations. I have a crush on her I suppose.

A couple months ago I asked her if she wanted to go a new restaurant with me, she said yes, and that she'd let me know when she was free. But it got a bit awkward at work after that as she didn't really mention the restaurant again, and she didn't stop by to chat like she had before. It seemed to me like she regretted saying yes and didn't want to send the wrong message. But later we started chatting more again, sharing jokes, talking about books and movies. We get along well.

Anyways, she gave me a few books to read that she liked and since we both are really into beer, I wanted to give her some of my favorites from my home state as a thank you. (I am from out east, she is from out west, and we live in the midwest now). She suggested I could bring them by sometime since I obviously couldn't bring beer to our work, and she texted me today she was home if I wanted to come share them. I was free then so I went over, and I am not sure what I was expecting, but something along the lines of having a beer and chatting for a little bit. I'm not really one to drop in but that seems like what people might do according to the movies <shrug>. She invites me in and says I can have a seat, tries the beer I have been raving about, we chat for a minute or two about how the weekend was going.

Anyways, she was really polite but was making dinner when I got there and was having friends over, telling me the games they were going to play and suggesting that if the friends do make it, she might text me and I could come back. It was a little bit awkward as she didn't want me over for long (at least not right then, maybe for the games but I don't know if that was just politeness). I'm a bit relieved she hasn't texted me since I felt like I was imposing and she might have invited me just to be polite.

I don't really have much in the way of concluding thoughts. I think she and I see eye to eye on a lot of things and could be good friends. But I also have a crush on her as I mentioned and she seems pretty uninterested in being anything more than friends (or maybe friendly coworkers who just cheer the other up with a few jokes every now and then). I guess I feel stuck because I like making her laugh and at this point I pretty much wish that I didn't have a crush on her and could be a good friend without wanting more. I'm pretty much a loner, but since meeting her I am not as content with a more solitary personal life.
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