CarbonCopy Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I refuse to do online dating anymore. I've had nothing but bad experiences. I wouldn't mind a romantic partner but making new friends would be nice too. What are some options / suggestions? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I refuse to do online dating anymore. I've had nothing but bad experiences. I wouldn't mind a romantic partner but making new friends would be nice too. What are some options / suggestions? Thanks. I'm curious about your bad experiences totally turning you off to OLD. Though I have not yet 'found romance' through OLD, I'd call all my experiences good. The four women I have met in a little over three months have all been decent, caring human beings. Parameters: - I'm in my early 60s. The women I have exchanged messages with, spoken to on the phone, and met have all been within 10 years of my age. - I live in a small city in upstate New York with several other small cities within a 45 minute drive so there are always a couple of dozen 'potential candidates' - I've been told that I've done a good job 'selectively screening' the women I choose to contact. I'm looking for an LTR so I usually (one exception for a ballroom dance partner) contact women whose profiles at least superficially indicate they are as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I am also curious about why you are bored with online dating because I am thinking about going back to it. As for your Q, maybe try new hobby or volunteering. I find that once you meet one friend it's easier to meet others. Try going out with friends and make sure you have open body language that makes it easier for guys to approach and say hello 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Have you tried "Speed Dating"?? Also, I make it a point to get out in public more. I met one woman while waiting in a line to pay my utility bill, struck up a conversation and exchanged phone numbers. I've met a few people at local bars/pubs. I met my present girlfriend at an apartment complex pool, struck up a conversation and invited her out for drinks later that evening. I won't do online dating for the same reason you mentioned. I also had bad experiences. Just my two cents... best of luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 CarbonCopy, I agree that it's good sometimes to have an OLD detox. Hobbies and interest clubs are a good way of meeting like-minded people. Good luck x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CarbonCopy Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 I've had nothing but bad experiences with online dating. From no responses, to bad dates, ghosting, etc. I tend to think it attracts a certain personality / type of person that's not for me. I'd much prefer to meet someone naturally. I have tried speed dating. Never again. I've never met such socially awkward men before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 That sucks. I am sorry to hear about your experience carbon.I remember talking to you a long time about online dating and I agreed with you that I was also not attracted to the type that online dating attracts. Moreover, I was not attracted to the entire concept of online dating. Stubbornly, I keep attempting to try and prove this indomitable truth wrong. I hope you find luck elsewhere Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I've had nothing but bad experiences with online dating. From no responses, to bad dates, ghosting, etc. I tend to think it attracts a certain personality / type of person that's not for me. I'd much prefer to meet someone naturally. I have tried speed dating. Never again. I've never met such socially awkward men before. why dont you look for ways to meet and interact with real people in real places in places where you would like to go as a person? places that interest you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I was also not attracted to the type that online dating attracts. Moreover, I was not attracted to the entire concept of online dating. Stubbornly, I keep attempting to try and prove this indomitable truth wrong. I'm just using Cookie's quote as a stepping off point for this post because it's more recent than Carbon's. I remain a bit mystified by the different reactions to and impressions of OLD. I have to speculate that the experience must depend to various extents on the age, gender, and geographic location of the user. I'll note that within 50 miles (as the crow flies and the OLD site calculates but making for a 2 hour drive) of me on Plenty of Fish there has been a rash of what I can only describe as profiles of female 'escorts'. Most are accompanied by highly suggestive nude photos. These profiles rapidly disappear apparently by the actions of moderators. But this illustrates my speculation about the dependency on location, all are across a state line from me. I remain attracted to the concept. There is, to me, a HUGE value proposition to knowing that these women (the grandmothers I contact, not the escorts) are at least CLAIMING to be unattached and looking for relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 My three friends, including our long time girlfriend, found people to marry. They all said that many just wanted to have sex. Divorced me and women who have not had sex in a long time are just looking for someone to hold and have sex with. The guys loved it. NSA sex. Our girlfriend was kept at it until she found her perfect husband. All of them are married close to 30+ years as a result. Just asking, but are you sure the problem is not you? Are your expectations too high? Normally guys are attracted to any girl that will have them. The dating sites are dominated by men and you should be getting hundreds of requests. You get to pick out of a large pool of men. Also your profile has a lot to do with it. A well written profile should attract the kind of man you want. A general one will attract every man. Our girlfriend wanted a guy that was OK with her continuing her relationship with us and she found him in two months. Still married to him and was still part of our poly triad. If she can find a guy willing to share his new wife with a couple, you should be able to find what you want. Why don't you have others read your profile and tell you what they think. Also let us know if you are going to a pay site like E-Harmony or a free site which attracts a certain type of person. I do wish you luck. It is rare to come across a woman who is lonely when it is much easier for them to find a partner than it is for men. Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I'm just using Cookie's quote as a stepping off point for this post because it's more recent than Carbon's. I remain a bit mystified by the different reactions to and impressions of OLD. I have to speculate that the experience must depend to various extents on the age, gender, and geographic location of the user. I'll note that within 50 miles (as the crow flies and the OLD site calculates but making for a 2 hour drive) of me on Plenty of Fish there has been a rash of what I can only describe as profiles of female 'escorts'. Most are accompanied by highly suggestive nude photos. These profiles rapidly disappear apparently by the actions of moderators. But this illustrates my speculation about the dependency on location, all are across a state line from me. I remain attracted to the concept. There is, to me, a HUGE value proposition to knowing that these women (the grandmothers I contact, not the escorts) are at least CLAIMING to be unattached and looking for relationships. I am still not convinced OLD is the optimal medium to meet people you are compatible with and attracted to. The numbers are against you. The medium itself, with text and pictures is not enough. Attraction is a vibe. Its this weird instant thing that happens when you are physically close to someone in a room and you instantly like them and if you are really lucky they like you back. I think being very social and making sure you are in a lot of places where the opportunity exists to talk to people -- you have a greater chance to meet someone -- not to mention its more fun than scoring the Net. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I think being very social and making sure you are in a lot of places where the opportunity exists to talk to people -- you have a greater chance to meet someone -- not to mention its more fun than scoring the Net. Depends on circumstances. I've met more AVAILABLE women in 3 months of OLD (4, 5th scheduled for Friday) than in 5 years of meetups (zero). Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I am still not convinced OLD is the optimal medium to meet people you are compatible with and attracted to. The numbers are against you. It may not the "the optimal" medium, but it's still a very good one. You may just have to sift through a lot of sand before the gold. The medium itself, with text and pictures is not enough. Attraction is a vibe. Its this weird instant thing that happens when you are physically close to someone in a room and you instantly like them and if you are really lucky they like you back. It's enough for some people sometimes. Have you ever seen a picture of someone and been attracted to them? Or thought their funny or interesting profile was enough to hook you? Just because the medium doesn't put everything into full focus for you doesn't mean that it won't lead there. I know the kinds of things I look for in a person, and it's usually pretty easy to tell what profiles will or won't give the best odds of living up to that expectation. Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I live in a major city, and have had some good experiences with Meetup.com (for socialising, not for dating). The people you meet are automatically interested in being friendly and social (or they wouldn't be there), and you have something in common (the theme of the meetup group). Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 (edited) I went to a unisex meetup.com a couple times until it got a little too weird. It was a huge networking group and the leader hit on every woman(he kicked out another guy who did it) The leader ended up taking home this one girl at the end of the night. At the next meet up the following week, the girl who at this point I had gotten to know a bit told us seedy leader was ignoring her now and how he made her feel he liked her.” As I was walking to the next venue with another girl I see her outside with another girl I’d met. Her eyes are full of tears and she’s saying “I can’t believe he’s doing this. What an *******!” Felt awful to see. He always seemed so creepy but I don’t know the whole story. It just made me sad. This all transpired in the 2 meetups I went to and I get this could have just been an unusual group. I will say I agree they are a good place to meet people but I never went back to a unisex one. Edited January 9, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 I went to a unisex meetup. What do you mean by unisex? The way you described it there were several women there and at least two men: the leader and the guy the leader kicked out. All the meetups I've been to (sightseeing) were co-ed, with no visible flirting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 What do you mean by unisex? The way you described it there were several women there and at least two men: the leader and the guy the leader kicked out. All the meetups I've been to (sightseeing) were co-ed, with no visible flirting. Unisex was the wrong word sorry. It was a mix of men and women. I only mentioned those two because those were the ones most of the drama was surrounding, But there was about 60 to 100 people and it was a fairly even split of men and women. Many of the men hit on the women there. That guy just got kicked out because women were complaining about how aggressively he was doing it I guess. There were also couples there too Link to post Share on other sites
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