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Consideration : gamers


mortensorchid

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mortensorchid

I was thinking the other day about possible other avenues to meet men. Some say that you should consider gaming / video games. I considered this at some point. I admit, I am a 43 year old woman and I am rather behind on the whole gaming culture / video games thing, but I know that you can talk to others on X Boxes and whatnot. So on another note, what are good games / avenues one can go on if they want to start gaming and don't know where to start with it?

 

Second, I am wary of this because I have had a bad track record with others in the past to begin with. I am double wary of this because I think I will end up with a socially awkward man who is too uptight and intimidated by me to hold his own against me. But it's an avenue to consider. Can someone give me some advice?

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FilterCoffee

You’re not a gamer so why do you want to go against your nature? Meet people doing things you like. That way you’ll have something to genuinely bond over. Besides, gaming isn’t cheap by any means. I wouldn’t consider this avenue if I were you.

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Dunno about intimidated no shortage of very smart guys around. You must look in the wronf places.

Women also misunderstand that it's different speaking up, if ya do your too this or that, ya keep ya mouth shut they think his intimidated where as usually he just can't be effd with the bs is the real situation.

Or they'll argue or go on about every tiny little thing or two flies crawling up a wall, got 6 sisters in all of the above but the brothers just can't be bothered, even if he's right or knows better, it's just not worth the bs.

Not one of my 6 sisters still ever get that.

 

So thats one thing but it also seems pretty silly to do crap your not even into just to meet people , meet someone doing things you are into and there's a good chance you'll have things in common and be a bit alike.

But eh, that's me.

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I mean join the game for the sake of having fun and you will have fun there, don't expect more or less of that!

 

I would google what the best 10 games right now and watch how it's played on youtube and then see if I like it or not, then dive in.

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Interstellar

Are you into fitness? try joining CrossFit. It’s a more close knit community type of fitness and you may meet some new guys. Fit guys. Check it out through Instagram and explore some CrossFit gyms around your area. Don’t worry about all the barbell lifting because they’ll teach you all that and you may meet someone single too. Guys love to teach. Or you can take a self-defense/martial arts class.

 

Sure you can try gaming but there’s too much cursing and racist insults being thrown around by some kids and adults too and it can get tiring for you very quickly.

Edited by Interstellar
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If you're not into gaming, I don't think it's a good idea to try to find a guy on PlayStation Network/Xboxlive. Lets say you do meet someone, you can't then really complain if he wants to play games all the time. Also, I've basically been playing videogames my entire life and have never met someone that way....

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I was thinking the other day about possible other avenues to meet men. Some say that you should consider gaming / video games. I considered this at some point. I admit, I am a 43 year old woman and I am rather behind on the whole gaming culture / video games thing, but I know that you can talk to others on X Boxes and whatnot.

If op wasn't a woman I'd swear this was Michael Scott.

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I'm a gamer. I'll give you my perspective.

 

Firstly, there's as much variety within gaming as there is in everything outside of it. You will often find a very different type of person playing PUBG regularly than you will playing X-com. You'll need to figure out what type of games you might enjoy, and what type of gamers you want to meet. At 43, also consider that different games have a very different age demographic too.

 

Second, I am wary of this because I have had a bad track record with others in the past to begin with. I am double wary of this because I think I will end up with a socially awkward man who is too uptight and intimidated by me to hold his own against me. But it's an avenue to consider. Can someone give me some advice?

 

This, unfortunately, will work the same way as online dating. There is often no way to identify the awkward ones without meeting them. As a general rule, if you managed to meet plenty of normal guys from OLD, you'll likely find the same in the gaming world. There are a large number of perfectly normal single guys out there who'd love to find a woman who is into gaming. On the other hand, if you just ended up meeting crackpots from OLD, you'll find the same characters in gaming too. How good is your judgement?

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Don't embark on something you can't maintain, and what makes you think meeting someone over Xbox feed or whatever it's called is going to lead into anything more meaningful than OLD?

 

It's not sustainable. If you try a new hobby and it sticks, THEN use it as a tool to meet men. Don't go backwards and start on something that attracts men, but you're going to lose interest in this hobby after a couple months. This will create conflict, when you're getting uptight this dude won't get off the game on a Friday to go out and do your primary interest...midnight nude hiking, butterfly watching...whatever...and he's pissed off you're not gaming with him...which was your connection you started with.

 

It's the same thing as when you brought up meeting men at religious functions. If you're not a firm believer in the faith, it's probably not going to work; not long-term, if this man is deeply religious. You can play the part temporarily, but will it stick? What conflict will occur when you're done with the religion?

 

Consider the long-term consequences. It's not sustainable if you start off on false pretenses.

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Just a couple of days ago, you were talking about realising you had a mental illness. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/647961-suffering-ptsd Now you're talking about ways to meet men.

 

I suggest you get your mental health sorted out before you keep dating. Otherwise, your dating will just keep on crashing and burning.

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I've actually had a relationship that developed out of an online game. Keep in mind that these are almost LDRs by default. The positive side is that it may break some misconceptions about people, as you get to know them from a very different angle, somebody you normally wouldn't have considered because of ethnicity, educational level, location or age.

 

Also, it requires a lot of trust to establish such a relationship, as you really have to believe something is real that is almost impossible to verify until you actually meet the other person. It's even easier to get caught up in something that isn't real than it already is with OLD.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I don't think I'd ever do this. For one, I'd have to invest a heck of a lot of time into a hobby I don't even like. Also, I'd probably meet someone with whom I have little in common and I'd fear he'd want to spend all our time gaming.

 

I'd be as likely try to meet someone this way as I would a a Furry convention :).

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Is gaming something you've always (or recently) considered in and of itself? If so then go for it. It's by no means guaranteed you'll meet anyone - but that isn't any different from a lot of other avenues you might use to meet people. Most gamers I know are not in any way socially awkward

 

If it's not appealing to you then don't do it. Let's say you do meet someone, they will have a hobby which may be incompatible with yours, so that's just going to cause problems down the road.

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Cookiesandough

To me, video games are practically the worst hobby to have to meet someone. Talk about going 36 hours straight not answering the phone or eating or drinking just staring at your screen because you are camping a mob and if you look away someone may steal your camp. Dating? Pa-Leeze.

Edited by Cookiesandough
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I second the gym or hiking or something where you are actually face to face with real people.

 

(Not that I've ever talked to anyone except other dudes while at the gym. Sigh).

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I'd probably meet someone with whom I have little in common and I'd fear he'd want to spend all our time gaming.

 

I'd be as likely try to meet someone this way as I would a a Furry convention :).

 

Talk about going 36 hours straight not answering the phone or eating or drinking just staring at your screen

 

I think some of you have some really odd stereotypes of gamers in your head.

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I think some of you have some really odd stereotypes of gamers in your head.

 

Agreed. If one thing has changed over the last decade it is that online gaming has become more social and utterly mainstream.

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Online gaming: not really my 'thing'. I'd think it would be difficult to meet men (or anyone) just because you're hidden behind 'the wall of the Internet'.

 

Table-top gaming: could work for you, especially if you'd enjoy the activity. I'm really talking about Dungeons and Dragons and all of its variants. Someone else has already mentioned 'your local game store'. I've 'gamed' this way for years. This was even one of the things my ex-wife and I shared when times were good.

 

First, realize it's to a large degree what folks here call a 'sausage fest', though for a woman that may be a plus. Yes, a lot of the guys may be rather introverted, nerdy, and, to be fair, not the most appealing physical specimens. But a lot of the guys, still tending to be introverted, are just, shall I say, normal (I count myself in that subgroup, duh).

 

Generally, 'we' are open, accepting, and happy to see women interested in joining the group. You will almost certainly be subject to the 'usual' roadblocks (like at the gym): not knowing if a guy is already attached, not knowing if he would be interested, overcoming (his) reluctance to turn a fun, playful activity into a romance hunt.

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So on another note, what are good games / avenues one can go on if they want to start gaming and don't know where to start with it?

 

If you want to start gaming in general, that is way too broad of a question. That is like someone saying, "I think I want to start watching movies. Which movies do you think I should start with?" That depends on what kind of stories interest you, as in action, fantasy, sci-fi, horror, etc.

 

 

Can someone give me some advice?

 

I think for a situation like this, you would do better to find someone personally, or at least one on one who you are comfortable with, to show you the world of gaming, rather than blindly jumping into online gaming culture and hoping to find a connection. Either that or start with a single-player game first so you have an idea of what you might be getting into. Because despite the diamonds in the rough (and they do exist), that culture can be pretty toxic.

 

I think I will end up with a socially awkward man who is too uptight and intimidated by me to hold his own against me.

 

With the fact that you're considering doing something like signing into x-box live in search of a lover, that statement above is pretty laughable. That is a stereotype and it sounds kind of like the kettle calling the pot black. I'm a gamer who plays fine with women, and I would not be intimidated by you.

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Second, I am wary of this because I have had a bad track record with others in the past to begin with. I am double wary of this because I think I will end up with a socially awkward man who is too uptight and intimidated by me to hold his own against me. But it's an avenue to consider. Can someone give me some advice?

 

If this is your perception of gamers to begin with, why bother?

 

I did meet my SO/fiance via gaming. But here's the thing - it was not my intention. I genuinely enjoyed the games I played and would have happily done so even if 100% of the other players had been female.

 

I think in general trying to be someone you're not to get a date is a bad idea. Especially with something like games, it's really obvious whether someone is into it or not. And given that it would be very obvious that you aren't really interested in it beyond meeting men, there would be a much higher chance of only the insecure guys being interested in you.

Edited by Elswyth
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Gamers, in general, are usually very welcoming of ladies joining up but you'd have to be a bit of a thick-skinned lady. Gaming is all about slinging insults all around and trolling others for the fun of it. Although, we do tend to go a bit easier on women :cool:

 

 

Sounds lovely. Just the kind of guy you'd want to date :rolleyes:

 

You should also be aware that there are "fake" players in some games who might be flirty or whatever and actually work for the gaming company just trying to keep people around.

 

I'm saying meet guys some other way, out and about, so you know they have other interests and aren't recluses, and then don't rule them out if they occasionally play games. I mean, how many people have you seen on here who complain because their main interest is gaming and they complain because there's no way to meet someone through gaming? So that doesn't work. And there's catfishes all over, people assuming identities, getting lost in the characters in the game. It's too much. My own sister was a gamer catfish pretending to be someone she wasn't, living through her character, flirting with this guy she was taking seriously, and he had her address and came and watched from down the street until he saw she was a fat old lady and then told others on the game about it, causing her to have a total meltdown but finally snap out of her gaming addiction, which nearly caused her to lose her home, her clients and did cause her to lose one dog.

 

On the plus side, there are a lot of options. You don't have to play the popular shoot em up juvenile games. You can opt to build racing cars and things like that, maybe tap into the actual racing community, who actually do get out and go to car shows and races.

 

Speaking of that, Mortenschild, if you want to go man watching sometime, go to a big MOPAR or other classic car auction. Lots of men more in your age range. They must have a little money and will likely have a car hobby, not the worst combination. They have nice rides. My mechanic is all into that.

Edited by preraph
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Sounds lovely. Just the kind of guy you'd want to date :rolleyes:

 

You should also be aware that there are "fake" players in some games who might be flirty or whatever and actually work for the gaming company just trying to keep people around.

 

 

Uh, I can assure you that the vast majority of reputable game companies/studios have MUCH better things to do with their budget than this. :lmao: Community typically drives itself in most established games, there is no need to waste money on "fake players".

 

Companies buying reviews and other questionable things though.... those can happen, but they also happen with all other commercial industries and aren't particularly relevant to the players you meet.

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Cookiesandough
I think some of you have some really odd stereotypes of gamers in your head.

 

Well in my experience playing video games (which I thought was what OP was talking about) is not conducive to meeting people, except for those online, who may be based in another country, and you have a low likelihood of meeting in person. When I get heavily into gaming, I get immersed and I lose interest in dating entirely and focused on that world. I guess you can be a gamer and meet people but in would be in the time you're not gaming and talking about the games. I think it's overall a solo sport except for your friends or anonymous people online. There are way better hobbies to meet people. Board or table top games are a little better.

Edited by Cookiesandough
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mortensorchid

Ok, BAD IDEA. Forget this. I can admit I am wrong about this. Back to the drawing board.

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