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I am seeing red flags but not sure


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 1st December 2017, 7:32 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Imajerk17 View Post
Guy here.



As a man, I CAN tell you this: You should know that the sentence I bolded above is code for "I want you to come over/let me over your place, to have sex with you, WITHOUT having to take you on a proper date". Basically he is trying to fill the hole in his heart by...*ahem*...filling another hole. No two ways about it.

If you get involved, you are setting yourself up to be used, and he actually said as much himself. I truly hope you back out of this.
I think OP is aware of it. Shes just trying to justify her actions.
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Old 2nd December 2017, 11:34 AM   #17
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I think OP is aware of it. Shes just trying to justify her actions.
Not sure what you mean by justify my actions, I don't think I have done anything wrong nor do I want to, which is why I am asking for advice. So, in the spirit of this, would you reply anything to his message about me misinterpreting his actions? I don't want to ignore anyone and there is a chance he might want to contact me again. What should I say? Thanks. Again, I am not looking for anything casual, I am looking for a relationship. Clearly he is not able to be in one now and I haven't met him so I don't know if there is chemistry at all. So what would you do? Thanks in advance.
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Old 31st December 2017, 11:01 PM   #18
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I would say 'thanks but I don't think we are looking for the same thing' and then leave it at that. If he wants more of an explanation, then say you are looking for dating and a relationship, but that's not what he seems to be looking for. Best just to keep it cool, polite and distant. He hasn't even offered a coffee in a coffee shop. Unless you are just looking for sex on the sofa with someone you hardly know, I would give this guy a miss.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:07 PM   #19
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Extremely red flag!!!
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Old 1st January 2018, 8:20 PM   #20
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Absolutely terrible glowing red flag, this guy is not even ONS material. Let him cool if for one year (or two) and then eventually he maybe date-worthy.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:08 PM   #21
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Being heartbroken doesn't prevent a man from wanting sex. Your gut is telling you to look out, and you should always listen to it. He could be out to just punish women right now, use and abuse. He's clearly still hung up, so he's not going to make any healthy moves right now, so don't agree to be part of it. Listen to your gut and use your common sense.
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Old 9th January 2018, 2:05 AM   #22
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Unless your looking for a hookup OP I would say that this is a no go.
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Old 9th January 2018, 3:24 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by sadiegirl86 View Post
Not sure what you mean by justify my actions, I don't think I have done anything wrong nor do I want to, which is why I am asking for advice. So, in the spirit of this, would you reply anything to his message about me misinterpreting his actions? I don't want to ignore anyone and there is a chance he might want to contact me again. What should I say? Thanks. Again, I am not looking for anything casual, I am looking for a relationship. Clearly he is not able to be in one now and I haven't met him so I don't know if there is chemistry at all. So what would you do? Thanks in advance.
What would I do? I'd stop ALL contact with this dude -who's only attempt is to use you.

You owe him absolutely NO explanation... nothing!
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