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Why do you think you're really single?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 16th November 2017, 12:14 PM   #1
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Why do you think you're really single?

For me. I won't play the game. If I am not treated well. Also. I don't feel like 80% of the women that I meet or interact with, would be a well match for me.

So thats my take. My personality and looks are above 80 in my mind. I am more the Good Guy/Hero, striving to do the right thing. I am not perfect.

There is a lot of game playing in dating. Thats what I see. If one is not careful you can get a kid out of it. I for one do not want a child brought into this world, with me and the mom on the outs and raising them that way.
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Old 16th November 2017, 12:50 PM   #2
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Because I want to be. I don't want to give of myself to another adult human at this point in my life. I don't have it in me; I'm already stretched too thin. I also think I'm going through a bit of a depression and have zero libido at the moment, so that's another thing that makes me completely disinterested in dating.
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Old 16th November 2017, 12:59 PM   #3
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CO, Keep on fighting the good fight. I don't know why I even care sometimes. I have lots of friends and family and I keep making new friends.

Or I have to accept that dating/mating is hard and will always be. When I make an effort. The response is an obstacle. When I don't the women that come to me are more compatable.
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Old 16th November 2017, 1:15 PM   #4
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Right now it's a lack of motivation. I just flirted with a woman waiting for my coffee. For some reason I didn't feel the urge to pursue it further, I don't even know why. It's been two years since my last relationship, a few months since I seriously dated somebody, and I have no idea why I'm in this frame of mind.
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Old 16th November 2017, 1:39 PM   #5
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Sometimes I think a lot of us really need a break. Its a long life. We have 80/90 yrs for most people. 2 yrs is a good break.

I also don't find a lot of women warm and sweet. Not saying they are all cold, but a lot seem very self centered.

I will put it this way. Lets use the following. It feels like to me. There are 4 archtypes of women out there for the most part. Sandy and Rizzo from Grease. Betty and Veronica from The Archie comics. It feels like there are more Veronica/Rizzo in my social environment than Betty and Sandy.

Some of my female friends are Bettys. So its more coldness/aloffness than Warm and Sweet. Thats just even if I am not really associated with them as much. Just from observation.
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Old 16th November 2017, 2:04 PM   #6
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I'm gonna be blunt here, it's because I am not attractive. If I was attractive, even marginally, I'd have little problem getting dates, but since I'm not, I don't. There's a reason I've only been on one first date in my life and have had only one relationship in my entire life.

I have a great personality, I am financially responsible, I'm educated, but none of that matters because the first thing people see when they look at me is an unattractive woman.
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Old 17th November 2017, 3:11 AM   #7
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My Male friends that are attached. None of them were ladies men or playboys. None of them are torn between their Wives/GF vs other women vying for their affections.

They just met a woman that fell into their laps and they did not have to work it as much. Their Wives/GF really want to be with them and have a certain lifestyle. Its not like the men have major gripes with their women for the most part.

My singleness is derived of not meeting a great match. I am pretty lucky. My Ex Boss, friends and family. I could never ask for a great bunch.

My love prospcts are out of whack and not intune, if I make the effort. Never have I really made the right decision when it comes to my love life.

I see a woman I am attracted to. If I act on it. It goes sideways. Its like the Universe is telling me that I should just really wait it out. I even had a psychic tell me on facebook book tell me that I want a woman a certain type and sh has to be a certain way, which was erriley true. She said that I basically have to keep trust my instincts and belive in my heart.

So I take that to mean. I have to let it come to me. Yet my mind also says that I have to make it happen. So I am torn most of the time. So for me the reason I am single. I have obstacles and I don't trust women with my heart as much.
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Old 17th November 2017, 7:17 PM   #8
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Why am I still single?

It probably has more to do with my personality and lifestyle rather than my looks. Yeah i'm short, yeah i'm not exactly a male model. But I can't be worse off than a tall beer bellied guy who never attempts to dress nice. At least I work out, take the time to dress nice, and I will never have to worry about getting fat. And time and time again, I see rather average to below-average looking guys with cute girlfriends. Even at my old job, all of the guys had girlfriends and none of them were exactly lookers.


The reason i'm still single is because

When I was younger, I couldn't talk to girls at all. I avoided women throughout all of high school because deep down, I was afraid of rejection. I had been repeatedly shunned and outcasted by women as a 12 and 13 year old boy. I was accused of being a creep and stalker, and to be honest I didn't know any better. All I wanted was their love but they ignored me and as a result it messed up my confidence all the way until I was 20. The only way to deal with the pain was to simply ignore the source of it, and that was women. So I ignored women throughout the rest of my teenage years.

I wasn't able to have a conversation with girls my age until I was 20.

I didn't date when I was 20 or 21 because emotionally, I was too messed up to date. I had been on Tinder for 4 months, was being repeatedly ghosted by everyone and it completely destroyed my confidence. It got to the point where I was having meltdowns simply because women were ignoring me. Any more sort of rejection would have destroyed me.


I'm a naturally introverted person. Some people love to talk, they love getting to know other people. They like going out and going to events, they like meeting people and have all the confidence in the world. I'm not that kind of guy. I don't like to talk, I would rather be at home on the computer.

When I see a girl I like, I have to force myself to be talkative even though that's not my natural state. I have to man up and approach her because I know she's not going to do it.

I have to pretend to be this cool and confident guy that I am really not. I have to take the lead, I have to go in for the kiss even though iv'e never kissed anybody in my life. The reason why I have to do all of this is because men don't have the luxury of non-hesitation.
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Old 17th November 2017, 7:29 PM   #9
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Your single because you have not wanted or figured out how to be giving, on a regular basis, when it feels like your being taken advantage of.


You have not wanted or tried to consider, anothers feelings when it sucks for you.

you are single because its easier and comfortable to manage your world and not have to deal with the fact anothers world may need comprise, empathy,understanding, clarity when you don't see it that way.

its easier to be single!! you only have to deal with the way you think and not another brain, another perspective.

Single is good, but relating to another human wont come easy.

it will be unrecognizable if you are single a long time
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Old 17th November 2017, 7:34 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
There is a lot of game playing in dating. Thats what I see.
there is a lot of game playing in all aspects of life, not just dating.
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Old 17th November 2017, 7:46 PM   #11
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game playing NOT transparency
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Old 18th November 2017, 2:38 AM   #12
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you're*

Because then I wouldn't be able to meet other women.
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Old 19th November 2017, 2:13 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
For me. I won't play the game. If I am not treated well. Also. I don't feel like 80% of the women that I meet or interact with, would be a well match for me.
So thats my take. My personality and looks are above 80 in my mind. I am more the Good Guy/Hero, striving to do the right thing. I am not perfect.
You are game playing, and it's the wrong game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
My Male friends that are attached.
They just met a woman that fell into their laps and they did not have to work it as much. Their Wives/GF really want to be with them and have a certain lifestyle. Its not like the men have major gripes with their women for the most part.

My singleness is derived of not meeting a great match.
I see a woman I am attracted to. If I act on it. It goes sideways.
You lack aggressiveness. Even if you sit back and wait for the "Universe" to hand you something perfect... It will eventually fail due to your lack of masculine thinking.

Get off you butt and go get what you want. The universe doesn't owe you happiness, and most women don't want a passive man.
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Old 19th November 2017, 4:18 PM   #14
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Cobra X. I see what your saying. However. I think I need to qualify the women a bit more. Until I know they are single. Whats the point in making an effort.

I can tell you this. All my male friiends or at least 6-8. Did nothing to get their mates. It all fell in their laps. No major courting. It was more the women that made an effort towards them. My Male friends were just going about their lives,and their Wives/GF zeroed in on them.

I guess my main problem is status. I see a woman. I think GF potential. I get wrapped up with it. Its a bit of both.
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Old 19th November 2017, 4:43 PM   #15
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Becaus I'm anti social and won't take on the family responsibilities of my partners. Brutal truth.

I'm an introvert. I don't like drama. I tolerate my own families because I have no choice. I'm not taking on any extra. I just can't do it.
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