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I am not attracted to most men. What is wrong with me?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 15th February 2018, 4:35 PM   #106
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I feel like people can be attracted to less then hot people but sometimes it's insecurity where the person feels like they need a hot person next to them because it validates their own attractiveness in their mind.
Or maybe guys as a whole are kinda meh. The average guy isn't beautiful or sexy the way women are, esp not straight guys.

Anyway, between the guys I know and the responses on here, it's not adding up. I know a guy who is over 6ft tall, former high school football, former military, and he rides a motorcycle. Yes never wanted for sex or a gf. He says he gets treated like man candy. Ha!
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Old 15th February 2018, 4:57 PM   #107
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Or maybe guys as a whole are kinda meh. The average guy isn't beautiful or sexy the way women are, esp not straight guys.

Anyway, between the guys I know and the responses on here, it's not adding up. I know a guy who is over 6ft tall, former high school football, former military, and he rides a motorcycle. Yes never wanted for sex or a gf. He says he gets treated like man candy. Ha!
Ehh I don't think most girls are beautiful or sexy most are average hence the word average. I think people tend to overrate their own genders attraction level because there not the ones trying to sleep with them lol.
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Old 15th February 2018, 5:35 PM   #108
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Ehh I don't think most girls are beautiful or sexy most are average hence the word average. I think people tend to overrate their own genders attraction level because there not the ones trying to sleep with them lol.
Yes, most people are average, but there are many more good looking womenn than men. Also, with men there is less room for error. Like I said there's another thread discussing this.

Trust me,I people watch. I'm going through something similar as the op. Thus us something I've sat down and thought about. I'm certainly not saying these things bc women are my gender.

I wouldn't be surprised if this complaint becomes more commonplace. Women have their own money and lives. Dating and courtship has changed and is much more sexually charged much more quickly. It's not surprising if more women start looking at men more objectively.

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Old 15th February 2018, 5:47 PM   #109
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Yes, most people are average, but there are many more good looking womenn than men. Also, with men there is less room for error. Like I said there's another thread discussing this.

Trust me,I people watch. I'm going through something similar as the op. Thus us something I've sat down and thought about. I'm certainly not saying these things bc women are my gender.

I wouldn't be surprised if this complaint becomes more commonplace. Women have their own money and lives. Dating and courtship has changed and is much more sexually charged much more quickly. It's not surprising if more women start looking at men more objectively.
Too each his or her own I do hope you find what you're looking for but I also hope you realize nobodies perfect.

If you're looking for a perfect physical specimen with no flaws then you might need to lower your standards a little.

Less then perfect looking people fall in love all the time.
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Old 15th February 2018, 6:04 PM   #110
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^ maybe she will need to lower her standards, maybe not.

No one has to settle if the alternative is worse than being by themself. I am no longer that picky (IMO) but I could not date someone I wasn’t really attracted to. That doesn’t mean really attractive by society’s standards, but to me.
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Old 15th February 2018, 6:10 PM   #111
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^ maybe she will need to lower her standards, maybe not.

No one has to settle if the alternative is worse than being by themself. I am no longer that picky (IMO) but I could not date someone I wasnít really attracted to. That doesnít mean really attractive by societyís standards, but to me.
I'm not telling anyone to date somebody they're not attracted to but the way she phrased it made it sound like she's looking for a perfect 10 if that's the case she may need to lower her standards.
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Old 15th February 2018, 6:29 PM   #112
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Too each his or her own I do hope you find what you're looking for but I also hope you realize nobodies perfect.

If you're looking for a perfect physical specimen with no flaws then you might need to lower your standards a little.

Less then perfect looking people fall in love all the time.
I'm not sure if you are reading and comprehending my posts... If you think you have dating advice for me, you can pm me.
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Old 15th February 2018, 6:54 PM   #113
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I'm not sure if you are reading and comprehending my posts... If you think you have dating advice for me, you can pm me.
I can only go by what you write on here.If you can't find anyone around attractive either your standards are way too high, you have a low sex drive or maybe you're attracted to women lol
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Old 15th February 2018, 7:09 PM   #114
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I can only go by what you write on here.If you can't find anyone around attractive either your standards are way too high, you have a low sex drive or maybe you're attracted to women lol
Where did I say I couldn't find anyone attractive? I never said that. You're exaggerating what I've written.
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Old 17th February 2018, 2:00 AM   #115
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I have been single for about 5 months and have gone on numerous dates during this time. Based on the stuff you can quickly identify almost right away (not taking career, lifestyle etc etc into account), I have mostly found that when it comes to NICE/ GOOD LOOKING/ FUNNY, there are typically 3 scenarios:

1. Nice and good looking guy - reasonably attractive, seems like a nice ****-together kind of dude, but treats the date like a job interview, dry, no sense of humour, no silliness whatsoever. Basically yawn-inducing.

2. Nice and funny guy - Nice and mostly ****-together dude, interested in you, really funny, usually you have the best dates with this one. Unfortunately he is very unattractive and you just can't imagine yourself kissing him, no matter how hard you try.

3. Funny and good looking guy - He's got the looks, the sense of humor, the wit, the confidence. Aaaand he's more often than not...not very nice, and a bit of a jerk/ emotionally unavailable.

Are there guys who are reasonably attractive, funny AND nice/ emotionally available? Sure! And smart women have noticed them and snapped them up quickly, so for the most part, they are married or in long term relationships.
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Old 17th February 2018, 12:35 PM   #116
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So this thread was supposed to be about why I am nokg attracted to most men. I think it has gotten a little off track. If like to receive advice on my original post
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Old 17th February 2018, 6:45 PM   #117
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Itís weird bc I am picky like this too in phases. When I can date my type (like right now, the guys who are my type are in abundance) I get even pickier. When I canít then I just go back to looking for anyone who clicks. I think it has a lot to do with being avoidant as someone else mentioned. E.G i was dating a guy out of my league in all aspects (physically, personality, career etc) There was chemistry but the smallest things started making me think I shouldnít date him. I was talking myself out of it due to my avoidance
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Old 17th February 2018, 7:12 PM   #118
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I have been single for about 5 months and have gone on numerous dates during this time. Based on the stuff you can quickly identify almost right away (not taking career, lifestyle etc etc into account), I have mostly found that when it comes to NICE/ GOOD LOOKING/ FUNNY, there are typically 3 scenarios:

1. Nice and good looking guy - reasonably attractive, seems like a nice ****-together kind of dude, but treats the date like a job interview, dry, no sense of humour, no silliness whatsoever. Basically yawn-inducing.

2. Nice and funny guy - Nice and mostly ****-together dude, interested in you, really funny, usually you have the best dates with this one. Unfortunately he is very unattractive and you just can't imagine yourself kissing him, no matter how hard you try.

3. Funny and good looking guy - He's got the looks, the sense of humor, the wit, the confidence. Aaaand he's more often than not...not very nice, and a bit of a jerk/ emotionally unavailable.

Are there guys who are reasonably attractive, funny AND nice/ emotionally available? Sure! And smart women have noticed them and snapped them up quickly, so for the most part, they are married or in long term relationships.
I feel the same way about single women
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Old 18th February 2018, 4:02 PM   #119
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So this thread was supposed to be about why I am nokg attracted to most men. I think it has gotten a little off track. If like to receive advice on my original post
Why do you think you're not attracted to most men?

If you're not attracted to most men strictly on a physical level, that's normal. Most men aren't the physical type to elicit raw sexual responses. Straight men also have higher bmis than gay men.

I feel like some of the female posters here...well, sometimes people give answers that are politically correct. Having dated attractive men (sometimes semi pro or pro athletes), I can tell you first hand women do care about looks.

Back in the day things moved more slowly as far as sex. Nowadays things turn sexual very quickly.

You'll have to figure out on your own tolerances as far as sex. Are you willing to date that guy who is less attractive but might be nice?
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Old 18th February 2018, 4:38 PM   #120
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You do realize that 1 relationship at 22 is par by course for many people, right? I really don't think that you're unusual in that regard.

As for not finding many people attractive, I'm the same way. I'm 8 years older than you and I can count the number of people I was significantly attracted to on one hand. I'm also engaged to a man whom I love and am extremely attracted to, even after being together for years.

I don't think that being attracted to fewer people is a bad thing, IF your attraction criteria overlaps strongly with the traits you'll need to sustain a happy LTR anyway. I personally found it very beneficial to be able to filter out guys early on, because IMO quantity can make you waste a lot of time with incompatible people.

I REALLY think you'll be just fine.
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