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I am not attracted to most men. What is wrong with me?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 31st December 2017, 10:55 PM   #91
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There is nothing wrong with not being attracted to a lot of different men. It just means you're selective and like what you like.

No shame in that
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:51 AM   #92
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Well alot of advice from women on the thread seem to be like they donít care for looks so Iíd think that Iím in the minority
It's a lie. They do care for looks. They have simply hit a point where they are willing to date and potentially marry a man that they don't find attractive. They don't care to have strong sexual chemistry or whatnot. Some of them are also likely lower down the attractive scale so their standards are lower.

I spent a good amount of time as an athlete. I've seen those women who say looks don't matter bend over backwards to get with me while ignoring uglier guys with better personalities. I've seen this at work first hand.

So... in giving you advice I'm torn. If your standards are insane and they might be, then you should change what you are attracted to. If you routinely run across guys who fit what you like, then I believe you are just honest.
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Old 1st January 2018, 9:27 AM   #93
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Originally Posted by HiCrunchy View Post
Well alot of advice from women on the thread seem to be like they donít care for looks so Iíd think that Iím in the minority
I don't think you're in the minority in the sense that I'm certain that most women care about looks. In my experience I would only believe a handful of them if they said that they don't.

However, if you are truly that selective then your efforts to find that person will have to be proportionally higher to have a realistic chance of finding a match. It's as much a prerogative as it is a challenge.
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Old 1st January 2018, 11:33 AM   #94
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Nothing is wrong with you. I think you need to love yourself more. Take care of yourself. When you can love yourself fully (which takes time) then youíll be ready to love a man and it will come to you.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:05 PM   #95
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Congratulations, you are a demi-sexual!
That's ok, I am one too! I don't get sexually aroused by anyone but my partner. I am totally ok with that.

It's a blessing. You just have to wait until you fall in love.
And for that, you have all the time in the world.

x
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:52 PM   #96
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Have you tried dating guys outside of your taste? You might feel it is a waste of time, and at first it may be, but you might eventually be surprised by someone outside of your type who charms you.
Yes I did that once. It lasted 3 weeks because I couldn't bring myself to kiss him. I left him and never got feelings for him in a romantic (or even a friendship sense). I wasn't attracted to him in anyway shape or form and my friends wondered why I was dating him at all. (He wasn't great personality wise either).

I am open to having someone else charm me I suppose but I just end up "friend-zoning" them. I am very guilty of that I suppose. Not on purpose but they end up being really good friends but nothing develops relationship wise.

I should go on more dates I guess.

Last edited by HiCrunchy; 2nd January 2018 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:38 PM   #97
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Nothing is wrong with you. I think you need to love yourself more. Take care of yourself. When you can love yourself fully (which takes time) then you’ll be ready to love a man and it will come to you.
Yes. It is strange how much I don't love myself.

I remember the last convo with my ex. He told me "be good to yourself HiCrunchy".

I have never forgotten that. He always told me I should love myself more. As have others in my life.

I think that is my biggest goal this year. Thinking of this makes me miss him all over again.

If I loved myself even a fraction as much as I loved him
As much as I loved my sister, or mother, or friends, then maybe life would be more bearable.
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Old 6th January 2018, 6:34 AM   #98
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Originally Posted by HiCrunchy View Post
Yes I did that once. It lasted 3 weeks because I couldn't bring myself to kiss him. I left him and never got feelings for him in a romantic (or even a friendship sense). I wasn't attracted to him in anyway shape or form and my friends wondered why I was dating him at all. (He wasn't great personality wise either).

I am open to having someone else charm me I suppose but I just end up "friend-zoning" them. I am very guilty of that I suppose. Not on purpose but they end up being really good friends but nothing develops relationship wise.

I should go on more dates I guess.
Yea I feel you. I hope you can learn to love yourself hicrunchy. You seem like an awesome person!

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 6th January 2018 at 6:38 AM..
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Old 14th February 2018, 10:13 AM   #99
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Originally Posted by Cobra_X View Post
It's a lie. They do care for looks. They have simply hit a point where they are willing to date and potentially marry a man that they don't find attractive. They don't care to have strong sexual chemistry or whatnot. Some of them are also likely lower down the attractive scale so their standards are lower.

I spent a good amount of time as an athlete. I've seen those women who say looks don't matter bend over backwards to get with me while ignoring uglier guys with better personalities. I've seen this at work first hand.

So... in giving you advice I'm torn. If your standards are insane and they might be, then you should change what you are attracted to. If you routinely run across guys who fit what you like, then I believe you are just honest.
Unfortunately, you may have a point. Funny, i read an article not long ago about how many people, marry someone they don't find particularly attractive.


I am going through something similar, Crunchy, you're not alone.

i don't think men as a whole are there are attractive. Sure, most people are average, but there are way more sexy looking women than men. Straight men don't have a big reason to try to make themselves look better because we have monogamy, or perhaps serial monogamy.

In the past I tried dating men who i didn't find particularly attractive. They just about always came at me in a hyper sexual way. I would try to see if they could grow on me, but that could never happen. Despite what people on ls say, i havent found less attractive men to be nicer, more chivalrous, less overtly sexual, etc. Part of me says if i gotta deal with this, i will wait around for the attractive guy. I've met and dated some hotties, too.

If op isn't physically attracted to most men, that's very understandable imo.
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Old 14th February 2018, 11:11 AM   #100
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Unfortunately, you may have a point. Funny, i read an article not long ago about how many people, marry someone they don't find particularly attractive.


I am going through something similar, Crunchy, you're not alone.

i don't think men as a whole are there are attractive. Sure, most people are average, but there are way more sexy looking women than men. Straight men don't have a big reason to try to make themselves look better because we have monogamy, or perhaps serial monogamy.

In the past I tried dating men who i didn't find particularly attractive. They just about always came at me in a hyper sexual way. I would try to see if they could grow on me, but that could never happen. Despite what people on ls say, i havent found less attractive men to be nicer, more chivalrous, less overtly sexual, etc. Part of me says if i gotta deal with this, i will wait around for the attractive guy. I've met and dated some hotties, too.

If op isn't physically attracted to most men, that's very understandable imo.
How old are you? I find once people hit a certain age they realize there are way more important factors then looks..not to say they don't matter at all but you become way less rigid on what you can be attracted to.

Have you never been attracted to a average or ok looking guy? Are you just attracted to convenetinally good looking men?

You say there aren't as many good looking men as women but maybe you're just too picky..What kind of standard do you have for men to be good looking? Do you expect men to look like some perfect Hollywood hunk actors?
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Old 14th February 2018, 12:20 PM   #101
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How old are you? I find once people hit a certain age they realize there are way more important factors then looks..not to say they don't matter at all but you become way less rigid on what you can be attracted to.

Have you never been attracted to a average or ok looking guy? Are you just attracted to convenetinally good looking men?

You say there aren't as many good looking men as women but maybe you're just too picky..What kind of standard do you have for men to be good looking? Do you expect men to look like some perfect Hollywood hunk actors?
I'm 31. I used to make myself date less attractive men. It was easier when I was younger as I heavily romanticized dating. Like I said, I tried with less attractive guys, but they come at me in a very sexual way.

I'm afraid the good looking men were all around different, not just the looks.

Also, I work hard to be in shape. I don't feel like I should have to date a man with a pot belly just bc he's a man. Maybe if he were super romantic I could make myself deal with it, but nowadays it's more likely I'll get a pic of his junk than a live letter lol.
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Old 14th February 2018, 1:12 PM   #102
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I'm 31. I used to make myself date less attractive men. It was easier when I was younger as I heavily romanticized dating. Like I said, I tried with less attractive guys, but they come at me in a very sexual way.

I'm afraid the good looking men were all around different, not just the looks.

Also, I work hard to be in shape. I don't feel like I should have to date a man with a pot belly just bc he's a man. Maybe if he were super romantic I could make myself deal with it, but nowadays it's more likely I'll get a pic of his junk than a live letter lol.
Yep this happened to me as well, it was very off putting
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Old 15th February 2018, 2:55 PM   #103
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I feel like people can be attracted to less then hot people but sometimes it's insecurity where the person feels like they need a hot person next to them because it validates their own attractiveness in their mind.
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Old 15th February 2018, 2:56 PM   #104
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Originally Posted by hotpotato View Post
I'm 31. I used to make myself date less attractive men. It was easier when I was younger as I heavily romanticized dating. Like I said, I tried with less attractive guys, but they come at me in a very sexual way.

I'm afraid the good looking men were all around different, not just the looks.

Also, I work hard to be in shape. I don't feel like I should have to date a man with a pot belly just bc he's a man. Maybe if he were super romantic I could make myself deal with it, but nowadays it's more likely I'll get a pic of his junk than a live letter lol.
How were the good looking men all around different? Can you use specific examples?
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Old 15th February 2018, 4:12 PM   #105
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How were the good looking men all around different? Can you use specific examples?
That would be getting off on a tangent. You can pm or start a thread.

My point to crunchy was it's normal to not find most men attractive.
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