the_lost_1 Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I'm not sure if it's me or not but despite being 29, having never dated or anything, I don't think I'll find anyone. I mean, I'm pretty much a waste of life and no girl likes me, ever. This (another) girl I met at bar won't even text me even though I wrote down my number I really don't know what to do anymore, in fact I probably never had interest in romance anyways Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Sorry to hear your on a downer. But look, it doesn't matter if your mr chick magnet or not.3/4 of the people out there married or in relationships are just ordinary people, nothing special. The only thing that matters is that hopefully when we come across that someone really special, they like us back. But hey, we all feel that way about someone that doesn't return it too , sometime , such is life. In the meantime, chill out a bit and just enjoy life and drop the bat for awhile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 The thing that keeps me going is this; if Honey Boo Boo's mom can find a man then anyone can find a man/woman. There is a lid for every pot. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I think that you just have to live your life on your terms. You don't need a woman to validate your every move. Just find hobbies and love your life. I suspect love will come for you when you least expect it. Just work out for mental health and be well dressed, groomed, mannored. It will all fall in place for you. There is no race. By the way. A lot of people are going in and out of relationships so don't look at women as the be all cure for loneliness. Even I at age 46 have to let go of the conventional way of meeting someone. I let the Universe bring her to me and just chill on being the driving force to finding love. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 29 is too young to give up ! Ask guys who are 50 and still looking for the one, lol. It's hard at 29 but it's harder as you get older. Enjoy single and you never know ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_lost_1 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Saw the same chick again at the bar. Shared hugs and pictures. Still no text.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_lost_1 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 I'm so bad with girls. Always was, always will be. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I understand it doesn't help much to point out that you're putting too much pressure on yourself, but it needs to be said for a couple of reasons: 1) You're creating far too much importance on what one person thinks. This is almost definitely going to be conveyed to this person and anyone else you set your sights on. In other words, they're going to smell the desperation, and that is unattractive. 2) This scarcity mentality causes you to get way too attached to people you barely know. Thus, what is a simple, "not interested," becomes a catastrophe in your mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) You haven't even really tried. And though I've not been in the exact same scenario as you, having done alright earlier in life, I still had no idea about my real value until I made a big effort in testing it. Upon doing so, I was shocked at how much I could achieve. And I don't think that's anything special, either. I just think that a lot of guys don't try, and never really push things. To give up before even trying is just squandering your value, imo. A complete waste. You'll look back when you're 50 or 60 and wish you would have at least made a proper effort. Edited June 22, 2017 by Bastile 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_lost_1 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 I feel like everything is fkin against me, like it never stops feeling like that. I'm crying already. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I cannot pretend to know what it's like to live with your hearing issues, so I won't pander to you. You got dealt a bad hand, but ultimately, it's what you make of it. I was recently on a campus where there was some sort of major athletic event for physically challenged people. These are all people who, by standard measures, got dealt a crappy hand. And yet, I don't think I passed one who didn't have a smile on their face; didn't seem to be having a great time with those around them. It was a humbling thing to see and it was one of those situations that put things into perspective, if for only that afternoon. What I'm saying is, these people all face challenges that a lot of able-bodied people take completely for granted. Your predicament is unfortunate, and yet, I cannot help but feel you've leaned a bit too much into feeling sorry for yourself. Have you looked into any sort of hearing-impaired gatherings or events where you can mingle with people who deal with similar issues that you do? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_lost_1 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 I'm just tired of being hurt. All I wanted was a normal girl. I doubt I'll live past 30... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I'm just tired of being hurt. All I wanted was a normal girl. I doubt I'll live past 30... Chin up please ?. Stop. From this moment make a conscious decision REGARDLESS of how you feel and your circumstances, to stop encouraging negativity. Just do it. Also if you can share your burden with someone close to you, or a counsellor. Then get up dust yourself of keep on going ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Listen, if you are going to accept giving up and being single without choice as any sort of option, then why is it the first option you choose? Put it way way back in your mind. Be thinking about every way to get what you want. Give it a serious effort. Try online dating (much as I don't like it lol). Have the girls here help fix up a profile for you which gets you taken serious. Use meet up groups and the like. You need volume. You don't really need to push the comfort zone that far. Understand that it's a process. You go from nothing, to getting some leads, to getting some dates, to getting some sex, etc. Then you'll face other problems. "We had sex then I didn't hear from her, what went wrong?". Or "She ghosted after our date". This is just life, and we are all in the same boat. We are just dealing with the same stuff in different ways. So, never develop a mentality like the world is out to get you or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Even if you get a GF. Its not like she is going to adhere to your eery whim and vice versa. I think just work out. Find a hobby you like that does not involve trying to have a GF. Dress well/be well groomed and live your life. The chase is what is making you sad. If you do all these other things I suggested. It will free your mind up of the sadness of being single. Like I said before. A lot of people I know are going in and out of relationships. Even if they don't want to. So its not like you land your next GF and all will be well until you pass into the next life. I personally think a lot of us are going to go in and out of romantic relationships and thats the norm. The anomally is actually staying steady for years and no problems or hurdles to overcome. Its great to be steady after awhile if you can have it I feel like everyone from 20 to 50 are the ones going through most the ups and downs, do to hormones and societal expectations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I'm just tired of being hurt. All I wanted was a normal girl. I doubt I'll live past 30... What do you mean "normal girl"? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I read it to mean someone who does not have hearing impairment issues. Hopefully I misunderstood, since that would be hypocritical. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_lost_1 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) Couple months or month ago, I gave her my business card (girl that works at bar) and haven't heard from her. Finally I saw her again yesterday and she seemed excited to see me, told me she lost it and asked me to write it down on her pad which I did, and I kept looking at my phone all day expecting text from her, still nothing. Next day, I kept looking at my phone again and still no text from her. Edited June 22, 2017 by the_lost_1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Clarify what you meant by "normal girl." Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Lost one, if you had any strategic sense, you would get online and also do local meetups with the deaf community and find yourself someone who isn't bothered by your impairment. Most people will be daunted by it because they can't talk to you. So find someone who can. Doesn't that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 I just can't imagine giving up after it didn't work with one person... If any of us had done that, nobody would actually be in a relationship. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you and I understand that you feel very defeated. But, you have to develop more strength and perseverance if you want to be successful in dating, and in life. Good luck to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_lost_1 Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 By the way guys I'm not looking for a pity party or anything, please know that I'm expressing a huge disappointment, nothing more By "normal girl" i guess by that i mean who isn't crazy or anything haha...I mean, I may have hearing impairment but I can still talk and hear, I just gotta face the person which helps Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 Well, you have the same hearing impairment my good friend had back in the late eighties. She needed you to be either up in front or on the correct ear to hear -- and you know what she did for a living? She did then and is one of the few who still now works for a big record label conglomerate. She was very popular with the guys, and though she did keep her hearing impairment on the downlow, because she was in the music business and could mostly hear high notes, she knew what she was doing. So your problem since you can talk and hear is your attitude, which is extremely defeatist. I know any type of difference can wear on your self-confidence because that's just how it is, so maybe this is why you are so down and defeatist, but the hearing itself is no longer your biggest problem. Now it's your attitude. You have to learn to do what ALL people learn to do when knocked down, and that is to get right back up and keep trying. Life is work and determination. Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 I'm just tired of being hurt. All I wanted was a normal girl. I doubt I'll live past 30... the big stuff is small stuff and the small stuff is big stuff Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 Why does being single have to be this tortuerous entity in our lives. Why can't we just be happy or chill until we meet someone. The truth is that untill we pass on to the next life. We are most likley going to be going in and out of relationship. For me. When I get into a "I don't care about being in a romantic relationship or being the driving force behind getting it. Like a Job mentality". For some reason. I get more attention. I was in that state a couple of days ago and a woman in a bar approched me in a conversation. It was not super romantic in nature. Its something I notice from time to time. If I go out of my way or try to inquire about a womans status upfront or on the sly. She is usually taken. So for me. The only way I would be having a GF is that some woman is romantically attracted to me. Comes up to me and makes her moves on me. I have seen it with other friends. So it s just a matter of time. Or if she is a little shy. I may make a move in the sense that we are in the same social circles or at some party where she is talking to me a lot. Going out of my way to flirt with a woman that is a stranger at the Starbucks. That really does not work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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