TunaInTheBrine Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 I'm in my early thirties and have a lot going for myself personally and professionally. For the last two or three years, I have felt confident that now is the time to find Ms. Right. Strangely, more than ever I seem to be attracting younger women in their early-mid twenties who are good looking but are also incredibly unstable and unpredictable! I can't help but fall for them sometimes because of how much I want to find a teammate, and they usually seem promising (at least at first). What I want to know is: Where are all the attractive stable mature women who are in their early thirties? I feel like so many of the women I encounter who are closer to my age are either paired up, come with kids/baggage, have lost their looks, or can't commit. What can I do differently? I'm willing to broaden my search a little in looking for a mate, but at the same time I don't want to settle for anyone (including an attractive mid-twenties girl who is wildly unstable). Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 What I want to know is: Where are all the attractive stable mature women who are in their early thirties? Most of them are at work. Try meeting people at industry events or chamber of commerce meetings. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) There's a lot of them in gyms. Aging and still being attractive takes some effort for most people. edit: Also depends on the gym. Under $30 a month gym or a $60+ a month gym, you see different clientele. Edited March 2, 2016 by Imported 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) Most will be taken or will be the affair partner of a taken guy unfortunately. I'm your age and I've found in this age bracket, family events are really the only way to find someone decent. Night life venues and anything else that's considered a typical place to meet singles will not contain quality in this age group. There'll be a reason why they're there and single. Edited March 2, 2016 by lino Added more. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 I'm in a similar age range. It's challenging but I've done well between OLD and meetups. Just look for meetups that are active and appeal to the type of people you are looking to meet. The main group I participate in is mostly 25-35, smart, mature, college educated types. I met my last two LTRs in meetup groups. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TunaInTheBrine Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 I'm in a similar age range. It's challenging but I've done well between OLD and meetups. Just look for meetups that are active and appeal to the type of people you are looking to meet. The main group I participate in is mostly 25-35, smart, mature, college educated types. I met my last two LTRs in meetup groups. That's interesting. I hear that a lot of people use meetup to find partners. I also hear that it causes a TON of drama within groups and that it never ends well. I've considered and am still considering it, but I'm hesitant. Also, I live in a rather small community and am a public figure of sorts that needs to maintain a certain amount of privacy. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Go to a horse show 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 That's interesting. I hear that a lot of people use meetup to find partners. I also hear that it causes a TON of drama within groups and that it never ends well. I've considered and am still considering it, but I'm hesitant. Also, I live in a rather small community and am a public figure of sorts that needs to maintain a certain amount of privacy. You should definitely do it. I went to a meetup once and it was an estrogen fest. There were only a couple of guys there, and one was the organizer, and later on, I heard that the organizer cycles through women from the meetup group like crazy. Seems to be his successful source for picking up women. You can't be lazy though. It take a lot of work and effort to continuous and predictably organize events. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 You should definitely do it. I went to a meetup once and it was an estrogen fest. There were only a couple of guys there, and one was the organizer, and later on, I heard that the organizer cycles through women from the meetup group like crazy. Seems to be his successful source for picking up women. You can't be lazy though. It take a lot of work and effort to continuous and predictably organize events. For real?????..... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 For real?????..... TFY Yes LOL He had a racket going. Popsicle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 You have to ask, why would an attractive, stable, quality woman still be single no children in her early thirties. The best scenario is probably the woman who has devoted the past ten years of her life to work or study and didn't have time to date and the years flew by on her. I mean, otherwise this woman needs to have been in a coma for years, to not be already taken. The worse scenario is the woman who has been online dating nonstop for the past ten years, but nothing ever worked out and she is still doing it. I don't know where you find the very few good ones left. Try to get the word out to friends and family. Maybe someone knows someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 You have to ask, why would an attractive, stable, quality woman still be single no children in her early thirties. The best scenario is probably the woman who has devoted the past ten years of her life to work or study and didn't have time to date and the years flew by on her. I mean, otherwise this woman needs to have been in a coma for years, to not be already taken. The worse scenario is the woman who has been online dating nonstop for the past ten years, but nothing ever worked out and she is still doing it. I don't know where you find the very few good ones left. Try to get the word out to friends and family. Maybe someone knows someone. I respect your opinion. but I don't know if that's really fair to say... I know some people that for whatever reason, just never "connected" with anyone...Also. some people are "good" at getting out there and meeting people, others not so much...Those people are just as desirable, but cant "click' ... Then it becomes a game of sheer luck....Not easy at that point... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 There are lots and lots of women in your age group who are single without children. As Donnivain said, they're at work because they are making their own way. They may not be on OLD. They may have two jobs like I nearly always did since I was single my whole life. Go to a beauty salon to get your hair cut where there's both men and women served. There's loads of women there. Even the hairdressers. I guess not all women will go out to eat alone, but I always have and still do, so that would be where to find me because that's my main entertainment. Other places to find scads of single women who are a bit older is dog parks. And if you have no dog park but have a good place for a pet with a yard and all, by all means get one and just walk it. Women will just come up to you just to pet your dog. Take a cooking class. Join a local meetup group for singles. Or if you're really sneaky, find a local meetup group for women in their 30s and see where they're meeting and go there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Because she has other stuff to do in life before getting married? I did. Did you come from the middle ages or just from the middle of the country? You have to ask, why would an attractive, stable, quality woman still be single no children in her early thirties. The best scenario is probably the woman who has devoted the past ten years of her life to work or study and didn't have time to date and the years flew by on her. I mean, otherwise this woman needs to have been in a coma for years, to not be already taken. The worse scenario is the woman who has been online dating nonstop for the past ten years, but nothing ever worked out and she is still doing it. I don't know where you find the very few good ones left. Try to get the word out to friends and family. Maybe someone knows someone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 You have to ask, why would an attractive, stable, quality woman still be single no children in her early thirties. The best scenario is probably the woman who has devoted the past ten years of her life to work or study and didn't have time to date and the years flew by on her. I mean, otherwise this woman needs to have been in a coma for years, to not be already taken. The worse scenario is the woman who has been online dating nonstop for the past ten years, but nothing ever worked out and she is still doing it. I don't know where you find the very few good ones left. Try to get the word out to friends and family. Maybe someone knows someone. Because she's smart. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 You have to ask, why would an attractive, stable, quality woman still be single no children in her early thirties. The best scenario is probably the woman who has devoted the past ten years of her life to work or study and didn't have time to date and the years flew by on her. That is just a person, man or woman, that hid behind their school and job. Not a sign of a person that knows how to let go and have a balanced life. Sign of not being good spouse material. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Because she has other stuff to do in life before getting married? I did. Did you come from the middle ages or just from the middle of the country? What? That's exactly what I said, the best chance the OP has of finding someone attractive and mature, is with someone who has other stuff to do in life before getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I respect your opinion. but I don't know if that's really fair to say... I know some people that for whatever reason, just never "connected" with anyone...Also. some people are "good" at getting out there and meeting people, others not so much...Those people are just as desirable, but cant "click' ... Then it becomes a game of sheer luck....Not easy at that point... TFY I think you read some things into my post that wasn't there. I never said people who have not found someone are not desirable! A lot of people have never found love by age 30. They can be desirable but they are picky (as they should be for themselves but the OP need not get involved) And that's why I don't think they are the best chances for the OP. And if they just never connected with anyone, chances are they won't connect with him because trouble clicking with someone, is trouble. I have a friend who is very good looking, well educated, good job. He has been online dating for almost 30 years now, never had a LTR. When he first started, it was personals in the newspaper, "SWM seeks..." now he is online but now he is 62. You might say he just hasn't been lucky, but no LTR after continuously searching for 30 years, something else has got to be going on. In his case, I think he likes being unattached, he just doesn't want to be alone. That's why I think people who are in LTOLD (long term online dating) are not good prospects for the OP. Better to find a woman who has had a bf for more than a year by age 30. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 That is just a person, man or woman, that hid behind their school and job. Not a sign of a person that knows how to let go and have a balanced life. Sign of not being good spouse material. Yeah I know, we're talking slim pickings here. We're trying to advise the OP on finding someone who even wants a relationship. The other ones that are too smart to want a relationship are not good prospects. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Just google marriage rate and you'll see this has changed drastically from 50 years ago. And that's just accounting for people that never get married. People getting married later in life has changed even more. Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 You have to ask, why would an attractive, stable, quality woman still be single no children in her early thirties. The best scenario is probably the woman who has devoted the past ten years of her life to work or study and didn't have time to date and the years flew by on her. I mean, otherwise this woman needs to have been in a coma for years, to not be already taken. The worse scenario is the woman who has been online dating nonstop for the past ten years, but nothing ever worked out and she is still doing it. I don't know where you find the very few good ones left. Try to get the word out to friends and family. Maybe someone knows someone. Maybe she wasn't an attractive, stable, quality women until her early thirties? Maybe she's just a late bloomer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TunaInTheBrine Posted March 5, 2016 Author Share Posted March 5, 2016 (edited) Interesting responses. You know, I honestly think part of my struggle to find someone is that I'm a very very psychologically and emotionally evolved person. I'm not super picky, but I know myself well and I know what I need from a partner. The number one thing I need is someone who has a compatible level of self-awareness and can give/receive love fully. In other words, as long as I'm physically attracted to you and you are someone who is self-aware, open and committed to love, then all things are possible. I'm not sure when or if I will find someone that is compatible with me, but I try to remain hopeful and open. I believe I could be an amazing long-term boyfriend, and one day a husband and father. I do believe in love. Edited March 5, 2016 by TunaInTheBrine 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 There are some smart mature women here on Loveshack. Maybe you want to share your OLD name with them so they can check you out. Link to post Share on other sites
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