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Dating a horse owner - Any horse experts here?


LookAtThisPOst

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LookAtThisPOst

This is interesting...this is kind of a spin-off from the dog lovers thread, but, this time I spotted a woman that lives about 45 mins to an hour north of me in "horse country". An area quite big on horse farms, training for running, running horses, etc. Some women I find on POF that tend to travel across country and really wind up in town in the slower seasons and then put up their dating profiles.

 

Saw a nice looking woman with quite a few horse photos, very beautiful creatures. Even watched a documentary on the ones in England for royal horses and such. She had some really well done up photos of herself with these breeds.

 

Though I'm no expert, I know just enough as I tend to travel to her neck of the woods quite a lot for events.

 

Anyhow, she started off her profile regarding on how overwhelmed she's been getting with emails.

 

So she is only considering locals. Now, I don't know how she defines "locals", as anywhere north of the major city it just gets more and more remote, towns are spread further apart where she lives, and dating options geographically are slim. And she stated that a guy would practically have to be her soul mate for her to consider traveling.

 

She says she owns FIVE horses and it might as well be dating someone with young children. She equated this to a single mother with 2 children as they require constant supervision.

 

But what caught my attention about her profile is that she mentioned that her parents have been together for 50 years, until her dad passed a couple years ago (kind of my situation, but 44 years with my parents). I hold some kind of value to that as it's a shared situation that has got my attention along with what she mentions in her value system.

 

She mentions that because of her parents marriage longevity, she holds to the traditional values in dating than most people she's known that are in this hook-up culture...much like me. She's single, without kids (except horses).

 

She states that the reas on she NEVER married (she's early 40s) is because she's yet to meet a person who that she knew, wtihout a doubt, that "we would never divorce!"

 

Now, that's saying a lot and indeed where I read carefully what she's stated. I rarely meet women like this...well, that express themselves as such in a dating profile, but I'm sure this weeds out a lot of guys. She has nothing in regards to what a man should look like appearance-wise, which is surprising and says a lot

 

But...what about the horse part and preferring local? How local does one need to be to maintain horses?

 

I'll give her a try and email. :)

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Owning livestock means living with the livestock on the land where you can take care of them and train them, etc. It's a life in the country. You can't pick up and leave, and you don't want to. I'm sure she is just looking for someone who wants to make a life with her right where she is and is employed locally and can be of use around the ranch. Horses require daily care most of the year.

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Your LS horse expert here :) Dating a horsewoman is not for everyone, but if you stick it through you may end up with the most loyal amazing woman of your life :)

 

Things to note; never ask if you are more important or loved than the horse, just don't.

Horse women are busy but know how to manage time. We spend a lot of time outside and sometimes smell like horse. Be ok with that or learn to love it. My ex always loved my horse smell after a while. Horse girls are dedicated and passionate. Skip flowers and chocolate and go straight for the Dover gift card. Don't ask if you can ride her horse. She might offer but don't ask.

 

If you are cheap or worried about money then pass. It's an expensive hobby and even though she supports herself some guys get weird about the amount of money and time it takes to care for a horse.

 

There's a great website Horse Collaborative that has cute videos about "dating horse girls". I suggest checking it out.

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Owning livestock means living with the livestock on the land where you can take care of them and train them, etc. It's a life in the country. You can't pick up and leave, and you don't want to. I'm sure she is just looking for someone who wants to make a life with her right where she is and is employed locally and can be of use around the ranch. Horses require daily care most of the year.

 

Exactly. We can go away but it takes planning. If you enjoy helping around the farm you will be in the good books. Even if it's not horse related, driving tractor, moving hay, plowing, etc. When I date I pass on anyone who isn't interested in living on a farm.

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A horse isn't just for 24/7, 365.

 

It's more than that. A horse is for life and then some.

She's telling you where her priorities lie.

Although you'd think that if she's looking locally, she might have already exhausted supplies.

What she really wants is either someone who is as into horses as she is - or who will completely allow and tolerate, put up with and endure her equine lifestyle.

They come first.

 

 

(You will probably need better riding gear than these gals, btw....)

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LookAtThisPOst
A horse isn't just for 24/7, 365.

 

It's more than that. A horse is for life and then some.

She's telling you where her priorities lie.

Although you'd think that if she's looking locally, she might have already exhausted supplies.

What she really wants is either someone who is as into horses as she is - or who will completely allow and tolerate, put up with and endure her equine lifestyle.

They come first.

 

 

(You will probably need better riding gear than these gals, btw....)

 

Interestingly enough, she says nothing of desiring of man INTO the same interest of horsemanship. But asks that he's okay with animal in general, not much like traditional pets.

 

No, "He must ride, too!"

 

Although you'd think that if she's looking locally, she might have already exhausted supplies.

 

Probably, where she lives, she really can't afford to be TOO picky if she's looking for "local only". That area where she lives is mostly retirees and geared towards married with children families. It's mostly redneck country, where most men, if single...at least served time in jail for DUI's or wife beating assault charges. lol

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LookAtThisPOst
Exactly. We can go away but it takes planning. If you enjoy helping around the farm you will be in the good books. Even if it's not horse related, driving tractor, moving hay, plowing, etc. When I date I pass on anyone who isn't interested in living on a farm.

 

Well, if they have their own house as it is...why pass them up?

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Oh you so do NOT know how to read women! :laugh:

 

She need not necessarily have a man who's INTO horsemanship.

Providing he gets the fact that she is. And it comes first.

Why do you think she makes such a thing of it?

 

Pay attention (lots of attention) to vevecake's post.

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Well, if they have their own house as it is...why pass them up?

 

Because you need to fit in with the hours THEY keep.

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Oh my word.

 

I think I'd say "I rest my case"..

 

She's asking a lot.

Tall order... At least 18 hands high.....

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Oh my word.

 

I think I'd say "I rest my case"..

 

She's asking a lot.

Tall order... At least 18 hands high.....

 

Well, she has 5 horses that will be keeping her company the entire duration of her stay in that town. Hopefully of those 5, some are studs. :laugh: j/k.

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Great advice above!!

 

My mother has 4 horses and a lot of other "side animals".

 

The horses need to be fed and stalls shoveled daily.

 

A lot of feed and manure needs to be moved in your "spare time."

 

There are sicknesses and injuries. There are farriers coming over.

 

Then there is riding and enjoying the horses.

 

You can't just go on vacation either.... you have to arrange for the care of the horses while gone.

 

Just like dating a boat guy.

 

The rewards of these types of lives are, however, beyond what normal life brings.

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Never mind, she just response...apparently even a 45 min to an hour drive is still too far.

 

I don't blame her at all with 5 horses to look after!!

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Well, if they have their own house as it is...why pass them up?

 

In the future... a farm has to be an option unless she is boarding. Of course your own home is great in the beginning :)

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Never mind, she just response...apparently even a 45 min to an hour drive is still too far.

Did you offer to travel to her?

 

If she is maintaining them herself, she had a mandatory 3-4 hours **every night** where she has to feed, water, and clean - and that's with just a quick mucking and not working them that night. If she also works normal day hours, that's a late night already without adding a night out and travel on top of it.

 

You could offer to clean stalls in exchange for a date If you really want to try ;)

 

In the future... a farm has to be an option unless she is boarding. Of course your own home is great in the beginning :)

 

I was thinking along those lines. "Well done up photos" with fancy horses makes me think she may be a show horse person rather than farm/trail/pleasure horse type... which may mean boarding for training, but also adds a whole new set of things to learn for the non-horse person (and a whole new set of expenses!)

 

For one, it'd mean most summer weekends spent traveling and being on event grounds from dawn to well past midnight each day, 100% focused on your horse, plus all the craziness in the days leading up... Even waaaay back in my Academy days it was a looooong (but fun!) weekend that left me exhausted for a couple days after.

 

Free time is a rare experience to an equestrian.

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Did you offer to travel to her?

 

I sure did!! Didn't matter to her apparently.

 

If she is maintaining them herself, she had a mandatory 3-4 hours **every night** where she has to feed, water, and clean - and that's with just a quick mucking and not working them that night. If she also works normal day hours, that's a late night already without adding a night out and travel on top of it.

 

You could offer to clean stalls in exchange for a date If you really want to try ;)

 

 

 

I was thinking along those lines. "Well done up photos" with fancy horses makes me think she may be a show horse person rather than farm/trail/pleasure horse type... which may mean boarding for training, but also adds a whole new set of things to learn for the non-horse person (and a whole new set of expenses!)

 

For one, it'd mean most summer weekends spent traveling and being on event grounds from dawn to well past midnight each day, 100% focused on your horse, plus all the craziness in the days leading up... Even waaaay back in my Academy days it was a looooong (but fun!) weekend that left me exhausted for a couple days after.

 

Free time is a rare experience to an equestrian.

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Did you offer to travel to her?

 

I sure did...I mean if she can't even go over into the next county, she's pretty much screwing herself over with the lack of dating options.

 

If she is maintaining them herself, she had a mandatory 3-4 hours **every night** where she has to feed, water, and clean - and that's with just a quick mucking and not working them that night. If she also works normal day hours, that's a late night already without adding a night out and travel on top of it.

 

You could offer to clean stalls in exchange for a date If you really want to try ;)

 

I'll try, but considering her two abrupt, adamant "good luck to you" responses, if I try to make that offer, I'll probably just be blocked just for trying to talk her into it.

 

I was thinking along those lines. "Well done up photos" with fancy horses makes me think she may be a show horse person rather than farm/trail/pleasure horse type... which may mean boarding for training, but also adds a whole new set of things to learn for the non-horse person (and a whole new set of expenses!)

 

She never explains what she DOES With the horses as to why she has so many. She left her "Profession" as "not for public display", but I have to guess if you HAVE to own THAT many horses, it's for business purposes.

 

The only thing listed in her "interests" section, regarding horses is "trail riding, mounted shooting, and riding horses (duh).

 

For one, it'd mean most summer weekends spent traveling and being on event grounds from dawn to well past midnight each day, 100% focused on your horse, plus all the craziness in the days leading up... Even waaaay back in my Academy days it was a looooong (but fun!) weekend that left me exhausted for a couple days after.

 

Free time is a rare experience to an equestrian.

 

Perhaps they should consider another line of work if they want to find a mate?

 

Seems single people want their cake and eat it to, a very selfish attitude when it comes to seeking a mate, and if someone DID get the luck to go out wiht her, chances are she'd be rather a rigid person to deal with, like I said, if she cannot go into the next county, I wonder if it's just an excuse. And in a backwater town like hers, where it's mostly married people and retirees, she's pretty much out of luck if she's just limiting herself.

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You are beating her up because she thought and an hour drive one way was too long to pursue a relationship :laugh:

 

That is 2 hrs round trip...

 

I dated a girl once that lived about 45 mins from my house...

 

The drive looked like this:

 

After driving from work, 45 mins to her house, since she lived out in the middle of nowhere we had to drive 40 mins to find things to do, eating etc.. 40 mins back to her house then 45 mins back to my house...

 

All in all one date I would drive 170 mins... hahahaha that is almost 3 hours.... that also didn't include the driving I did to get to and from work 1 hr round trip..

 

So dating her meant being in the car driving 3 hrs plus the hour I would drive to and from work... 4 hrs driving each day is WAYYYYYY to much...

 

Do that twice a week, the sex wasn't worth it :laugh:

 

Your OLD girl is an hr from you....

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Your OLD girl is an hr from you....

 

You're quite good at stating the obvious, but what's your point? I don't a problem driving that far, I've typically have driven that far to meet people. *shrug* no big deal to me. Where I live, I usually have to drive that far to meet other singles.

 

Actually, most women I dated usually live an hour from me as I live in a region where a lot of towns/cities are spread further apart the further north of the large city south of me. (I'm an hour from it.) It tends to get sparse the further north you go.

 

I dated a girl once that lived about 45 mins from my house

 

45 mins? That aint nothin, dude.

 

Your OLD girl is an hr from you...

 

Thank you captain obvious.

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You're quite good at stating the obvious, but what's your point? I don't a problem driving that far, I've typically have driven that far to meet people. *shrug* no big deal to me. Where I live, I usually have to drive that far to meet other singles.

 

Actually, most women I dated usually live an hour from me as I live in a region where a lot of towns/cities are spread further apart.

 

 

 

45 mins? That aint nothin, dude.

 

 

But it is too her.. she is the other half... it takes both parties to be willing to do and long distance relationship not one.

 

and since she doesn't want to pursue it you are trying to paint her as someone who isn't serious about wanting a relationship, I would hazard a guess that a decision like she just made is evidence that she IS interested in a relationship, I'd have been more concerned about her is she had said she has 4 extra hrs per day to be driving.

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The horses may not be for professional purposes.

 

My mom does trail riding and mounted shooting.

 

(don't mess with my mom...she'll take you out... :lmao:)

 

These are her hobbies. She owns a company in an entirely different field.

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But it is too her.. she is the other half... it takes both parties to be willing to do and long distance relationship not one.

 

and since she doesn't want to pursue it you are trying to paint her as someone who isn't serious about wanting a relationship, I would hazard a guess that a decision like she just made is evidence that she IS interested in a relationship, I'd have been more concerned about her is she had said she has 4 extra hrs per day to be driving.

 

Well, considering where she lives, she's probably not going to find that unicorn, esp. when she listed the kind of morals and values and considers herself quite different than the norm of other single people.

 

I rarely find myself on the same page with others when it comes to a shared belief system, as she has grown up on a household where her parents stayed together all their lives...so we share that, and I figured there would just be things like THAT that would trump a county jump. Personally, if I was really SERIOUS and I thought we were a good match in every aspect, with the exception of a little dist. between us..I'd make an exception.

 

There had been times where I exhausted all online dating options, locally, as I've contacted them, with no response...to where I had to change the "distance #" to 50 miles a couple of times and started seeking out new faces in new geographical areas. I've even met up with a few going that route.

 

She may want to consider relocation if she wants to find what she's looking for in a demographic of mostly AARP members or rednecks with DUI/Wife Beater records.

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The horses may not be for professional purposes.

 

My mom does trail riding and mounted shooting.

 

(don't mess with my mom...she'll take you out... :lmao:)

 

These are her hobbies. She owns a company in an entirely different field.

 

Yup.

 

I'm from the Saddlebred show horse field, so somewhat different from competitive shooting or rodeo, but most multi-owners have a pretty good job to support their hobby. Think lawyers, surgeons, CEOs, oil/gas/coal owners... Those jobs are demanding too. Only exceptions are the owners of the barns themselves (boarding/training is really not that lucrative unless you're top tier), but then their horses were often lesson horses.

 

My guess? She may have just started seriously looking. Might take a little while for her to realize the limited options in her area and be willing to look father. That's on her though, she'll do it in her own time.

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My guess? She may have just started seriously looking.

 

Funny you mention this, she started her write-up with, "Guys, I just now re-joined POF..."

 

So this wasn't her first time on the site. I actually took a year off of POF and I think I recall even having seen her last year on it (when I was on it). So this isn't her FIRST rodeo (no pun intended, LOL - just made that one up on the spot ;)

 

Might take a little while for her to realize the limited options in her area and be willing to look father. That's on her though, she'll do it in her own time.

 

Right...I thought about replying, "Well, in case you realized you reached the end of line of options in Ocala, send me a note and I'll gladly take the trip to take you out to dinner. ;-)

 

If not...then, "Good luck...you'll need it."

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