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I can't connect with people. Period. Been trying my entire life. Closing in on turning 30 in a few years. Never had friends, never dated or had any kind of initiate relationship. Even around people or in groups I have common interests with, I simply don't connect.

 

Though, honestly, people don't want me, anyway. I have nothing to offer anyone, nothing that means anything to anyone. I'm pretty much worthless. So, I guess I get it.

 

But "getting it" doesn't make it any easier to accept. My existence is a constant cycle of loneliness, sadness, bitterness, resentment, and anger and hatred. It kills me inside every day, being surrounded by people I can't connect with, people who don't care about me, all while having to watch everyone else make and maintain connections that being them joy and pleasure.

 

It just reminds me of the things I'll never get to experience. I just... How am I supposed to deal with this anymore? How am I supposed to learn to live this?

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DatingDirection

Have you ever thought, maybe you're depressed, and that's ok, but maybe medication would help you, along with joining a cognitive behavioural thearapy group, you can meet some awsome people in those groups, who feel the same as you and connect with them? Have you tried talking to a counsellor you trust? I understand, that some times, i feel alone in this world too, but i have found that going on anti depressents has changed my mood alot, and connecting with those who remind me of who i am have also helped me feel better about myself and life in general. Remember you're 1 in 400 billion who made it to earth through birth, you have a meaningful purpose in life. Stay strong, you made it this far, it can and will get better. Amen.

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I have no interest in finding a group I can "relate" to on these things. I can't really explain it properly, but I don't want to mingle with people who are sad and pathetic about life like I am. I've been on other support forums, and I've gotten people who just say "I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted you to know that I feel the same", and that kind of thing means absolutely nothing to me.

 

I've... tried therapy before. Didn't really feel it. Never got to a point where medication became a factor, but eh.

 

I don't know whether I'm " depressed " or not, but I feel like it's reactionary to what's around me. Even if I am "depressed", it's a reaction to everything I've seen and experienced, and continue to experience every day. It's not going to get any better unless my life situation changes. And my life situation simply doesn't change.

 

I don't possibly see how it can " get better ". Half my life is practically over, and I've nothing of value to show for it. I'm nothing, and everyone just flows around me like I'm an unmoving stone in a flowing river. Life has passed me by, and continues to do so more and more every day, and I just don't see a way out of this life.

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Fleur de cactus

Infliked,

 

I am sorry to hear how you feel. I am sure you have many reasons to feel the way you feel. However, we are so many people who feel lonely even if there are people around us. I hear people saying that love is necessary to maintain a good health and I talk to myself " gosh I want to love but I dont have anyone yet! I don't give up, I think one day it will happens.

 

You are not worthless. If you look again you will know people around you who need you. You are probably busy working on different things. There are other people who are looking for connection. There is probably a group in you area you can join. You sounds depressed. Talk to your doctor for help. What is important is to share your feelings with others. Let them know what you think and how you feel. People will be more connected with you if they know your needs of fitting, belonging, connecting. There are people around us who want to be connected like you and me. I think there is love around us. What we have to do is to find it. A professional will help you to assess what make you think that you cannot connect with other. Please keep writing here and others will give you more inputs. Best of wishes.

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DatingDirection

yes but anti depressents will lift your mood a little and stabilze you a bit better, to help you cope with the environment your in. I was negected when i was a baby, and for many years, i moved, in foster care, etc, and growing up i had no friends really. I use to enjoy skating, and volley ball, but my intersts slowly decreased, and i forgot what made me happy for many years, i lost sleep, and isolated myself alot, and once i went on meds, the real me came back, and i was better able to cope with the facts of life, mom and dad not there for me, distrust of people and lonliness, etc. There are programs again depending on where you live that really care about people, whether it's helping you go back to school, joining an activity, what did you like to do as a kid? First step is, get on meds, to help with mood, second step is to find joy in even the smallest things you use to like to do...

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Sorry for your pain, Inflikted.

 

I would really suggest trying to find an outlet where you can volunteer or work by giving to others. God has given you talents...don't keep them to yourself! Share your strengths with others, and you may find that you are in fact able to connect with those around you.

 

There are many options. What are your top skills? Are you knowledgeable about something, good at biking or gardening, are you interested in reading? Think of an area where you excel, and trust me that the most of us aren't going to be as good at it as you. Then figure out how to use that gift for the good of others.

 

God bless.

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What is important is to share your feelings with others. Let them know what you think and how you feel. People will be more connected with you if they know your needs of fitting, belonging, connecting. There are people around us who want to be connected like you and me. I think there is love around us. What we have to do is to find it. A professional will help you to assess what make you think that you cannot connect with other. Please keep writing here and others will give you more inputs. Best of wishes.

 

I've found that "opening up" to the people around me is a recipe for disaster. Every time I've tried to "open up" to anyone around me and share my feelings, I've gotten swiftly rejected. Whether it was for a platonic friendship, or for something more "romantic". And considering, I only "open up" to people I feel a bond with, people I feel I can trust, people I truly like, you can only imagine how painful it is to be rejected by those people every single time.

 

That being said, I've started to believe that "opening up" is kind of meaningless for me, because there's nothing actually "in there" that's worth anything to anyone. What's the point of "opening up" if there's nothing in there to begin with?

 

yes but anti depressents will lift your mood a little and stabilze you a bit better, to help you cope with the environment your in. I was negected when i was a baby, and for many years, i moved, in foster care, etc, and growing up i had no friends really. I use to enjoy skating, and volley ball, but my intersts slowly decreased, and i forgot what made me happy for many years, i lost sleep, and isolated myself alot, and once i went on meds, the real me came back, and i was better able to cope with the facts of life, mom and dad not there for me, distrust of people and lonliness, etc. There are programs again depending on where you live that really care about people, whether it's helping you go back to school, joining an activity, what did you like to do as a kid? First step is, get on meds, to help with mood, second step is to find joy in even the smallest things you use to like to do...

 

I'm not sure there's a "real me" that's been hidden away. As a child, I was a shy, timid little boy that buried my nose in comic books and video games to escape the real world. And I've grown into a timid, awkward, socially inept adult that still seeks comfort in my old "nerd" hobbies. And no, I don't really care enough to mingle with people that have similar interests, because I've found that when I encounter people that also like video games or comic books, we're still on different wavelengths and I don't connect with them.

 

Sorry for your pain, Inflikted.

 

I would really suggest trying to find an outlet where you can volunteer or work by giving to others. God has given you talents...don't keep them to yourself! Share your strengths with others, and you may find that you are in fact able to connect with those around you.

 

There are many options. What are your top skills? Are you knowledgeable about something, good at biking or gardening, are you interested in reading? Think of an area where you excel, and trust me that the most of us aren't going to be as good at it as you. Then figure out how to use that gift for the good of others.

 

God bless.

 

I've done volunteer work in the past. Truth be told, I hated it. My heart just wasn't into it, and it quickly started feeling like a part time job I was doing but not getting paid for. There's no "cause" or anything I feel for to go volunteer to. I don't really have the sympathy/ empathy to be a compassionate volunteer.

 

As for skills? Eh. I'm bad at everything. Even when I put in time and effort to learn, I never really "get good" at anything. I have no worthwhile skills, talents, or affinities.

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I've done volunteer work in the past. Truth be told, I hated it. My heart just wasn't into it, and it quickly started feeling like a part time job I was doing but not getting paid for. There's no "cause" or anything I feel for to go volunteer to. I don't really have the sympathy/ empathy to be a compassionate volunteer.

 

As for skills? Eh. I'm bad at everything. Even when I put in time and effort to learn, I never really "get good" at anything. I have no worthwhile skills, talents, or affinities.

 

It seems you've been posting similar complaints for about 5 years now (or so). In the past 5 years, what is at least one positive that you've noticed in your life? And, how motivated are you to really change the course of your life (on a scale from 1-10)?

 

Effective volunteering isn't really about your feelings. It's not about your level of sympathy or empathy. Effective volunteering isn't necessarily defined by you being compassionate. And, it doesn't have to be volunteering...you can get paid! How you contribute to society at large doesn't have to be free; it's sharing your gifts that matter. Helping others can have personal benefits as well.

 

It's completely up to you how you spend your brief moments on this earth. I think many people have posted on your threads over the years, spending time trying to help you. Have you appreciated any of the posts you've read? Had no one ever replied to one thread you created, how would you feel?

 

That sacrifice that others take to try and help you is a giving of themselves. Can you see that refusing to interact, pay it forward, give back can have some very selfish and self-centered characteristics? Is that how you define yourself, or want to define yourself? If so, why post so many threads seeking a change? If not, what steps can you take to move towards a more positive outcome?

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BronzeAgeJaeger217

That's why it often makes me angry, pissed off, even enraged and pissed off whenever people say it is never too late

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It seems you've been posting similar complaints for about 5 years now (or so). In the past 5 years, what is at least one positive that you've noticed in your life? And, how motivated are you to really change the course of your life (on a scale from 1-10)?

 

Effective volunteering isn't really about your feelings. It's not about your level of sympathy or empathy. Effective volunteering isn't necessarily defined by you being compassionate. And, it doesn't have to be volunteering...you can get paid! How you contribute to society at large doesn't have to be free; it's sharing your gifts that matter. Helping others can have personal benefits as well.

 

It's completely up to you how you spend your brief moments on this earth. I think many people have posted on your threads over the years, spending time trying to help you. Have you appreciated any of the posts you've read? Had no one ever replied to one thread you created, how would you feel?

 

That sacrifice that others take to try and help you is a giving of themselves. Can you see that refusing to interact, pay it forward, give back can have some very selfish and self-centered characteristics? Is that how you define yourself, or want to define yourself? If so, why post so many threads seeking a change? If not, what steps can you take to move towards a more positive outcome?

 

Yes, I've been coming here a while. And that's because over the last decade, I've never been able to change my life, make progress in life, have a satisfying life. Nothing I've done, nothing I've tried, nothing at all has made any kind of difference. All roads lead me right back to where I am. I just can't find a way out. And I hate it, I hate life itself for being this for me. But I just can't find a way out. It's not that I'm not motivated to have a better life. I'm just beaten down and worn out from so many failed years of trying. It all feels pointless to me.

 

And yes, I do agree that I am (perhaps I became) a very selfish, self-centered person. Truth be told, I suspect that I'm a bad person, in general. Not that I try to be. I just am, a bad person, I mean.

 

Again, I have nothing to "share" with anyone. I'm useless in every way imaginable. My very existence is utterly pointless, the way I see it. How is someone like me supposed to have any kind of meaningful existence in this world?

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It's not that I'm not motivated to have a better life.

 

The desire for a change is the first, and most important step! Without that, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere. So, how motivated are you right now? A 2? 3? 9?

 

It might help if you could list things you've tried. In this thread, you've mentioned you've tried:

 

 

  1. Opening up
  2. Mingling
  3. Sharing interests

 

 

What else have you tried?

 

 

 

What are your spiritual beliefs? What are your thoughts about counseling? Medication? Diet/exercise as related to depression?

 

 

(if you don't want to post your answers, that's OK...no pressure!)

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LivingWaterPlease

Inflikted, I, too, was going to ask about your spiritual beliefs.

 

Don't know if you believe in God or not. But, take it from me, He can make a huge difference for you!

 

Try this: Just pray a short prayer telling God you want to know Him. His Holy Spirit can put life, joy and love into you that will not only make life wonderful for you but will also draw others to you.

 

I notice this about you: You're a very good writer and you express yourself very well. How about taking a creative writing class?

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WomenWubber

On one hand, you say you can't relate to people. But then you say this:

 

I have no interest in finding a group I can "relate" to on these things. I can't really explain it properly, but I don't want to mingle with people who are sad and pathetic about life like I am. I've been on other support forums, and I've gotten people who just say "I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted you to know that I feel the same", and that kind of thing means absolutely nothing to me.

 

You can't or you just don't want to? Which is it?

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loveweary11

So why do you feel this way?

 

Why do you even care about this topic?

 

Why aren't you happy doing your own thing solo?

 

 

I've found that "opening up" to the people around me is a recipe for disaster. Every time I've tried to "open up" to anyone around me and share my feelings, I've gotten swiftly rejected. Whether it was for a platonic friendship, or for something more "romantic". And considering, I only "open up" to people I feel a bond with, people I feel I can trust, people I truly like, you can only imagine how painful it is to be rejected by those people every single time.

 

That being said, I've started to believe that "opening up" is kind of meaningless for me, because there's nothing actually "in there" that's worth anything to anyone. What's the point of "opening up" if there's nothing in there to begin with?

 

 

 

I'm not sure there's a "real me" that's been hidden away. As a child, I was a shy, timid little boy that buried my nose in comic books and video games to escape the real world. And I've grown into a timid, awkward, socially inept adult that still seeks comfort in my old "nerd" hobbies. And no, I don't really care enough to mingle with people that have similar interests, because I've found that when I encounter people that also like video games or comic books, we're still on different wavelengths and I don't connect with them.

 

 

 

I've done volunteer work in the past. Truth be told, I hated it. My heart just wasn't into it, and it quickly started feeling like a part time job I was doing but not getting paid for. There's no "cause" or anything I feel for to go volunteer to. I don't really have the sympathy/ empathy to be a compassionate volunteer.

 

As for skills? Eh. I'm bad at everything. Even when I put in time and effort to learn, I never really "get good" at anything. I have no worthwhile skills, talents, or affinities.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217

So why is it never too late for dating, relationships, and sex? Why do people continue doing that in their 30's and 40's?

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The desire for a change is the first, and most important step! Without that, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere. So, how motivated are you right now? A 2? 3? 9?

 

It might help if you could list things you've tried. In this thread, you've mentioned you've tried:

 

 

  1. Opening up
  2. Mingling
  3. Sharing interests

 

 

What else have you tried?

 

 

 

What are your spiritual beliefs? What are your thoughts about counseling? Medication? Diet/exercise as related to depression?

 

Ten-ish years is a long time. I can't exactly recall all the little details of things I've done and tried. But needless to say, I've met and known plenty of people over the years, from the several years I spent taking college classes, to the several years I've worked in retail. I've tried connecting with people. I just... can't seem to ever do it.

 

Like I said, I've tried therapy, albeit briefly, and I just wasn't feeling it. I'm fairly indifferent to the idea of medication, but dependent habits kind of run in my family, and it scares me to think I might become dependent on something like that to the point of not being able to function without it. As for diet and exercise, I've tried several times to alter my diet and get some exercise, but I never stick with it for more than a couple of weeks; I'm not so good at sticking to new routines that I dislike.

 

Inflikted, I, too, was going to ask about your spiritual beliefs.

 

I was raised fairly loosely Christian. I went to Catholic high school, and their pushiness about religion turned me off of it very quickly. I don't really know what I believe, to be honest. I like the IDEA of God, the after life, and the idea that we're here for a reason, but over the years, I've come to feel more and more like it's all just stories we've made and held on to in order to give society a moral code to live by, and also to make people less fearful of their own mortality. I suppose I'm primarily "agnostic", leaning more towards "atheist".

 

I notice this about you: You're a very good writer and you express yourself very well. How about taking a creative writing class?

 

It's funny, because I do somewhat enjoy writing and being punctual, and I suppose I always have, but I lack actual "creativity". And that frustrates me, greatly, actually. I've always dreamed of "creating" something, but my lack of actual creativity has made it feel impossible. I look around, and I see all the cool things people have made, written, produced, etc., and I always find myself wondering "Why can't I ever come up with something cool like that?". It's true, I'm very punctual, but when left to my own devices, to "make" something from scratching, it will end up being very generic and unimaginative.

 

On one hand, you say you can't relate to people. But then you say this:

 

...

 

You can't or you just don't want to? Which is it?

 

What I was saying was that I don't want to connect with people with the specific common ground of being sad, lonely, and depressed. I wasn't saying that I don't want to relate to people in general. I just don't want the reason we meet to be that we're all a bunch of sad sacks. To me, that just seems like an even more depressing and stressful life, because on top of my own bad feelings, I've have to deal with everyone else's. I don't want to have to deal with people who are like me, in this regard.

 

So why do you feel this way?

 

Why do you even care about this topic?

 

Why aren't you happy doing your own thing solo?

 

I wish I knew the answer to these questions. On one hand, that's part of what I wish I could figure out. I believe so strongly that I'm just destined to forever be alone and useless to the entire world, and that brings me so much stress and misery on a daily basis, because those feelings consume me, 24/7. If I could just accept that this is my lot in life and try to find happiness elsewhere, perhaps I wouldn't be burdened by those bad feelings. But no matter which way I try to spin it, it all comes back to these issues.

 

I suppose on the outside, it may look a bit bizarre. I'm admittedly a very introverted person, and if I'm being honest, I really don't like people very much. But at the same time, I deeply crave some deep, meaningful connections with people. I don't necessarily want a non-stop thrillride life where I'm constantly out and about, with hundreds of friends and a string of torrid love affairs, or anything like that. I'd be happy if I could just have 2-3 meaningful connections in my life at any given time. But it seems as though even that's a huge stretch, for me.

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Fleur de cactus

Ink

How are you today? You sounds very depressed. You don't have any motivation. You are discouraged to try anything new in helping yourself because you tried before and no changes were seen. Specifically if you can go to bed and in morning you wake up to find your problems are fixed what changes you would like to see? From there you can think of how to make those changes. What is available in your community that can assist you in working toward the changes ?

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Specifically if you can go to bed and in morning you wake up to find your problems are fixed what changes you would like to see? From there you can think of how to make those changes.

 

I dunno. I wish everything was different. I can't really think of anything in my life right now that I AM satisfied with. I have no friends. I have no "romance". I have a crappy retail job. I still live with my parents because I can't afford to move out, due to my crappy job. I've completed my education, but I either can't find any entry level jobs to apply to, or I find them and apply but get rejected. I hate all of that. I hate seeing my ugly, stupid-looking face in the mirror every day. I hate seeing the gross deformities on my body that could only be fixed via plastic surgery that I can't afford. I hate that the one girl I actually felt a connection with rejected me and left my life years ago and is out there, going on adventures and dating other guys, while I still continue thinking about her to this day. I hate going to sleep at night, because when I lay down in bed, all I think about is all of this stuff, all at once, and it keeps me up for hours. I hate waking up in the morning, because it's another day of misery.

 

If it were up to me, all of that would be different.

 

What is available in your community that can assist you in working toward the changes ?

 

I've no idea. I've never been particularly involved with my community. I live in a crummy run down suburb, filled with sketchy neighborhoods and fairly high crime rates. I don't know what's out there, but I can't imagine anything too special.

 

I've browsed that Meetup.com website a few times in the past, but none of the local groups pique my interest, and even if something did pique my interest, I hate the idea of going to some meetup with a bunch of random strangers, anyway, because I'd just end up keeping to myself and not socializing, because I'm an introvert that has no idea how to properly connect with another person.

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PrettyEmily77

This could be completely off the mark Inflikted, and my apologies in advance if this is totally wrong but I was wondering: is there any possibility you could be on the autism / aspergers spectrum, by any chance? This isn't my area of medical expertise at all but I was just reading through your posts and it could explain a few things.

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LivingWaterPlease
As for diet and exercise, I've tried several times to alter my diet and get some exercise, but I never stick with it for more than a couple of weeks; I'm not so good at sticking to new routines that I dislike.

 

 

 

I was raised fairly loosely Christian. I went to Catholic high school, and their pushiness about religion turned me off of it very quickly. I don't really know what I believe, to be honest. I like the IDEA of God, the after life, and the idea that we're here for a reason, but over the years, I've come to feel more and more like it's all just stories we've made and held on to in order to give society a moral code to live by, and also to make people less fearful of their own mortality. I suppose I'm primarily "agnostic", leaning more towards "atheist".

Inflikted, wow, I get it! Pushiness about religion is a huge turn off, so I understand where you're coming from as I grew up in a very strict religious home that messed with my mind about religion.

 

I'd say, good for you, not buying into religion!

 

Here's the really great news! There is a God who is real who wants to relate with you, not in a religious way, but in a friendship REAL way. I was an adult before I discovered this and it changed my life. Without Him in my life I was very much as you seem to be. I'm technically a good writer, good with music and art, too, (in college I was exceptional in all three, at the very top) but lacking in creativity.

 

Without God, I am quite bland, but talented, lol!!!

 

But, when I discovered God wanted to relate with me as a friend through His Word (the Bible) and prayer, it opened up a whole new world for me.

 

See, Inflikted, God is the Creator so He has the power to pour life and love right into your being. The Bible teaches there is an enemy of humans, satan, who does have power, but not nearly as much as the power God has. The enemy has perpetrated a lie on the human race that God doesn't exist and if He does, He's boring. Nothing could be further from the truth!

 

God is amazingly powerful and gives life to anyone who will become involved with Him on a personal level. He created YOU to be YOU and did it in such a way that it's possible for Him to pour the power of love and creativity right into your being!

 

He has done that for me and made my life awesome! I have an incredible career in a creative field that He brought about. I didn't even try to get into it by my own efforts. He brought it to me. I meet fascinating people. I have children who love to spend time with me, and whom I have great conversations with, etc.

 

God can do that for you, too. Forget totally about religion. Get a Bible (yes, I know it seems ancient and outdated, but it's the most relevant piece of "literature" you can read. It's not just a book, it's actually alive!) Go to Matthew (first book of New Testament) and read the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John). Do this daily for just a short time and before you begin to read tell God you want Him to reveal Himself through His Word (the Bible is His Word to you!).

 

I have no doubt all at that your life will be totally changed, into not just a better life but a new and different life.

 

God will pour a zest for living right into you!

The Bible says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good...."

 

You will be in my prayers, Inflikted!

 

 

 

 

 

It's funny, because I do somewhat enjoy writing and being punctual, and I suppose I always have, but I lack actual "creativity". And that frustrates me, greatly, actually. I've always dreamed of "creating" something, but my lack of actual creativity has made it feel impossible. I look around, and I see all the cool things people have made, written, produced, etc., and I always find myself wondering "Why can't I ever come up with something cool like that?". It's true, I'm very punctual, but when left to my own devices, to "make" something from scratching, it will end up being very generic and unimaginative. You have described me to a "T" with this. And yet I am in a creative field and well known for what I do. My work and interviews about it and my life are in publications; books, magazines (used to be in newspapers, lol! now on the internet).

Forgive me if it seems I'm boasting because I'm only boasting in Christ Jesus not in myself! I could have accomplished none of what God has given me through my connection with Him.

 

Have you heard the term, "It's not what you know it's who you know?" Well, I wasn't well connected until I met the Lord of the Universe. Skies the limit with Him!

 

It has been God who has poured creativity in me so that I can couple that with my technical talents. Without Him I couldn't do the work I do. Believe me, I've tried. He gives me ideas and He also has provided the doors to walk through to fulfill the ideas.

 

 

 

What I was saying was that I don't want to connect with people with the specific common ground of being sad, lonely, and depressed. I wasn't saying that I don't want to relate to people in general. I just don't want the reason we meet to be that we're all a bunch of sad sacks. To me, that just seems like an even more depressing and stressful life, because on top of my own bad feelings, I've have to deal with everyone else's. I don't want to have to deal with people who are like me, in this regard.

 

 

 

I wish I knew the answer to these questions. On one hand, that's part of what I wish I could figure out. I believe so strongly that I'm just destined to forever be alone and useless to the entire world You are NOT!! You are created for a purpose. God has a lot for you to do., and that brings me so much stress and misery on a daily basis, because those feelings consume me, 24/7.This is all from your enemy, Satan, who does want you to live a useless depressed life. But, he is not as powerful as God is. If I could just accept that this is my lot in life (this is not your lot in life, my friend) and try to find happiness elsewhere, perhaps I wouldn't be burdened by those bad feelings. But no matter which way I try to spin it, it all comes back to these issues.

 

I suppose on the outside, it may look a bit bizarre. I'm admittedly a very introverted person, and if I'm being honest, I really don't like people very much."Whoever doesn't love doesn't know God, because God is love." (From the Bible and it's true.) But at the same time, I deeply crave some deep, meaningful connections with people. I don't necessarily want a non-stop thrillride life where I'm constantly out and about, with hundreds of friends and a string of torrid love affairs, or anything like that. I'd be happy if I could just have 2-3 meaningful connections in my life at any given time. But it seems as though even that's a huge stretch, for me.

 

Inflikted, you'll be in my prayers. I encourage you to get to know the God who created you and who has a full and vibrant life planned for you! It's His job to bring you that life and your job to accept the friendship He offers you through His Word and prayer. You will be amazed at how He begins to bring others into your life who will enjoy you and whom you will enjoy. Give Him time, just a few minutes each day in His Word and prayer to work in you for change. Tell Him you want to know Him.

 

Sorry I don't have time to edit this! I have a full day ahead of me still. Have been busy all morning with family and took a break to get on LS! Will work on a project I'm deeply engrossed in this afternoon. God bless you, Inflikted!

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WomenWubber
What I was saying was that I don't want to connect with people with the specific common ground of being sad, lonely, and depressed. I wasn't saying that I don't want to relate to people in general. I just don't want the reason we meet to be that we're all a bunch of sad sacks. To me, that just seems like an even more depressing and stressful life, because on top of my own bad feelings, I've have to deal with everyone else's. I don't want to have to deal with people who are like me, in this regard.

 

I get it.

 

But you're kind of shooting yourself in the foot here. You have tried to connect with other people and they have rejected you, right? Those guys in the therapy group may have been though experiences highly similar to yours, so I'd say they have the highest potential to understand what you have gone through. They may not be able to help you out of the hole you're in, but at least you won't feel like you're alone.

 

What I'm saying is, it would be a waste if you gave up now. You have not exhausted all of your options yet. You're telling yourself you can't do anything, probably because you cannot bear the pain. But deep inside you know that's a lie you convenientely use to stop trying. If you let yourself live enough, I assure you will be proven wrong.

 

Things can get better, but you have to give yourself a chance.

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@LivingWaterPlease:

 

I definitely appreciate the input, and I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, as I don't mean it as such. But at this point in my life, I don't really have a serious eye for religious/ spiritual beliefs. Perhaps some day I will. But right now, it all just seems kind of "hokey" to me. Again, I don't mean any offense by that. The thoughts and ideas behind it are nice and comforting, but from my perspective, they're just that, thoughts and ideas.

 

But you're kind of shooting yourself in the foot here. You have tried to connect with other people and they have rejected you, right? Those guys in the therapy group may have been though experiences highly similar to yours, so I'd say they have the highest potential to understand what you have gone through. They may not be able to help you out of the hole you're in, but at least you won't feel like you're alone.

 

"Feeling like I'm not alone" in my issues isn't really enough for me, I'm afraid. I've been on other forums many times in the past, usually ones along the lines of depression and/ or social issues kind of discussion sites, and I've gotten a lot of posts that say "I don't have any advice or input, but I just wanted you to know that I feel the same ways you do, and I know what it's like", and that's all well and good, but I don't take any comfort in that. That does nothing for me. That doesn't reassure me any, that doesn't make me feel any better. When I hear that, I'm basically just thinking "Oh. Okay. Um... Thanks, I guess?".

 

I'm sure there are plenty of "options" that still exist. I don't deny that. I just feel like I've done everything I possibly can with what I have to work with, and I've gotten nothing. I don't feel like I know other options, I don't feel I know what to do or how to go about doing it, anymore. I just feel lost, aimless, broken down and defeated.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217

Complaining won't solve anything, but having to do something about it, taking responsibility for it is a burden, chore

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Okay. Whoa. Flashback. What's your name?

 

I tried to date you before. But your insecurities make you so cut off from everyone that you cannot even make a meaningful connection with someone. You miss all of the people around you (HI YES THAT MEANS ME) trying to get to know you and talk to you. You shut everyone out and complain about how terrible your life is and how you are misunderstood.

 

You need to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to interact with people. And guess what? You're going to get rejected by some people. That's life. You still have to get up everyday and face it. Your life is going to happen whether you decide to participate or not. Wake the f-ck up and change it. Everyday write down a goal and do it. You have a lot of Internet friends to help you when you get stuck or you have questions.

 

Who wants to die having never lived their life? yikes.

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LivingWaterPlease
@LivingWaterPlease:

 

I definitely appreciate the input, and I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, as I don't mean it as such. But at this point in my life, I don't really have a serious eye for religious/ spiritual beliefs. Perhaps some day I will. But right now, it all just seems kind of "hokey" to me. Again, I don't mean any offense by that. The thoughts and ideas behind it are nice and comforting, but from my perspective, they're just that, thoughts and ideas.

 

You don't offend me at all, Inflikted! Thanks for such a courteous reply and I understand how you feel as I have felt that way before. You'll be in my prayers and I trust God will work in your life in His way and in His time. Wishing you all that's good and wonderful!

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