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Dating a woman who always travels for work


LookAtThisPOst

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LookAtThisPOst

Met this woman at a Meetup event. She has a hard time getting to social gatherings due to her extensive traveling for her profession. She lives out of a suitcase and is bouncing around between states that she sometimes forgets what state she's in when she's in it. Meets a lot of clients.

 

She's done this for 15 years, and she kind of makes it sounds like she's burning candles at both ends or comes off that her profession is wearing her out, but when I asked her if she likes her job, she said "I love what I do." and I'm thinking, "Really?"

 

So chances are dating with this person may be a challenge, esp. if your the 9 to 5 bankers hours types where you can just come home and chill-out for the weekend, while she's putting together charts and graphs on her laptop in her hotel room.

 

Anyhow, I did get her # and we had talked on the phone last night for the first time. Had a pretty good hour long talk. She has a young son, divorced a year, in her 40s.

 

Luckily, she has her kid every other weekend, because the ex-husband is local. Some men she tried dating would get irritated if, let's say she has her child...and she has a soccer game to go to with her child, the current man she'd be seeing would say, "How about I join you on the bleaches?" Nope....she's very particular about who she has in her son's vicinity.

 

She's mentioned she's been on many dates mostly through online dating. Seems she's met all types and said she finds men intimidated by her lifestyle and demeanor. One claimed she seemed a bit too "tough", very non-demure and little femininity. I have found this to be typical of career driven women. Her response to men like this is to "give it time". Some men have claimed she comes off as unemotional or without feelings. She mentioned a lot of men she just meets move too quickly and wants an instant g/f. She's put off by men who are too sensitive, too.

 

Now, it's really PERCEPTION of what's considered too needy or overly sensitive, because living in an area where most couples see each other during the week, it sounds like he has to be willing to handle a woman who is hardly EVER home. This is quite unusual for men, as they are used to their women mostly being around.

 

I'm still willing to give it a shot though, as she seemed pretty nice, also attractive, but it does sound like her desire is there to meet new people, and if a relationship becomes of her new friendship, then that would be great.

 

Funny thing is, I've known women to have gotten sick of living out of a suitcase and to finally "sit back and smell the roses" and date.

 

But does this woman sound like relationship material? Could you deal with dating someone who is never home during the week? Just only the weekends WHEN she doesn't have her child with her?

Edited by LookAtThisPOst
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Ready2DateAgain
Met this woman at a Meetup event. She has a hard time getting to social gatherings due to her extensive traveling for her profession. She lives out of a suitcase and is bouncing around between states that she sometimes forgets what state she's in when she's in it. Meets a lot of clients.

 

She's done this for 15 years, and she kind of makes it sounds like she's burning candles at both ends or comes off that her profession is wearing her out, but when I asked her if she likes her job, she said "I love what I do." and I'm thinking, "Really?"

 

So chances are dating with this person may be a challenge, esp. if your the 9 to 5 bankers hours types where you can just come home and chill-out for the weekend, while she's putting together charts and graphs on her laptop in her hotel room.

 

Anyhow, I did get her # and we had talked on the phone last night for the first time. Had a pretty good hour long talk. She has a young son, divorced a year, in her 40s.

 

Luckily, she has her kid every other weekend, because the ex-husband is local. Some men she tried dating would get irritated if, let's say she has her child...and she has a soccer game to go to with her child, the current man she'd be seeing would say, "How about I join you on the bleaches?" Nope....she's very particular about who she has in her son's vicinity.

 

She's mentioned she's been on many dates mostly through online dating. Seems she's met all types and said she finds men intimidated by her lifestyle and demeanor. One claimed she seemed a bit too "tough", very non-demure and little femininity. I have found this to be typical of career driven women. Her response to men like this is to "give it time". Some men have claimed she comes off as unemotional or without feelings. She mentioned a lot of men she just meets move too quickly and wants an instant g/f. She's put off by men who are too sensitive, too.

 

Now, it's really PERCEPTION of what's considered too needy or overly sensitive, because living in an area where most couples see each other during the week, it sounds like he has to be willing to handle a woman who is hardly EVER home. This is quite unusual for men, as they are used to their women mostly being around.

 

I'm still willing to give it a shot though, as she seemed pretty nice, also attractive, but it does sound like her desire is there to meet new people, and if a relationship becomes of her new friendship, then that would be great.

 

Funny thing is, I've known women to have gotten sick of living out of a suitcase and to finally "sit back and smell the roses" and date.

 

But does this woman sound like relationship material? Could you deal with dating someone who is never home during the week? Just only the weekends WHEN she doesn't have her child with her?

 

run from this Sir,she is not dating or relationship material. there's a reason why her Hubby divorced her ,she's never around

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LookAtThisPOst
run from this Sir,she is not dating or relationship material. there's a reason why her Hubby divorced her ,she's never around

Actually she ended the marriage. Couldn't stand to be around him.

 

She got tired of doing all the work in the marriage and he pulled some doozies. I find how she says men have a problem with her lifestyle.

 

She wants a relationship but will put in very little time to do so. All she is good for is a fwb while she's back in town and off on a plane.

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I have a few friends who are pilots or flight attendants. They all have kids and are either married or with a long term partner, despite traveling for work on a weekly basis.

 

I don't see how traveling for work equals not relationship material. Would a man who travels for work be characterized that way?

 

If she has limited time, a relationship will take more time to grow. That may not match your preferences. But I have no doubt she can find a suitable partner for her.

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thefooloftheyear
I have a few friends who are pilots or flight attendants. They all have kids and are either married or with a long term partner, despite traveling for work on a weekly basis.

 

I don't see how traveling for work equals not relationship material. Would a man who travels for work be characterized that way?

 

If she has limited time, a relationship will take more time to grow. That may not match your preferences. But I have no doubt she can find a suitable partner for her.

 

Agreed....Heck, some guys would KILL for that type of deal....:lmao:

 

All kidding aside, only an insecure person would have a problem with that...If thats part of the deal, then it is what it is...Anyway, most people that I know that traveled often for a living usually eventually gave it up...So maybe its just a temporary thing, I dunno....

 

TFY

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A guy like that would be fine for me.

 

 

I'm not into the whole living in each others pockets within days/weeks/months of meeting.

 

 

I agree with the poster above though that anyone who is insecure - it could well be an issue.

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LookAtThisPOst

I agree with the poster above though that anyone who is insecure - it could well be an issue.

 

Don't you think referring to someone as "insecure" if they can only see the person once a month, if you're lucky once every two weeks?

I'd say more incompatible than insecure.

 

Anyhow, got to talking about my friend about her and he said I could always attempt to try, but not to let dating opportunities with other women deter me.

Agreed....Heck, some guys would KILL for that type of deal

 

Sure, because they'll (players) be getting some local nookie in between seeing the traveling sales woman. :laugh: In regards to flight attendants, a friend of mine that works for airport security said a lot of them tend to be unfaithful to their mates due to this kind of lifestyle. If they don't cheat, it's considered a long distance relationship that doesn't work out too well.

 

I don't see how traveling for work equals not relationship material. Would a man who travels for work be characterized that way?

 

The gender would be irrelevant.

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But does this woman sound like relationship material?

 

She could be, for the right person. Plenty of people who travel a lot for work, or who work away from home for long periods of time, have successful relationships!

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If you are interested in a true relationship than only time will tell if it will work or not. Taking your time and getting to know one another is the best advice anyone can give. Good luck!

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Don't you think referring to someone as "insecure" if they can only see the person once a month, if you're lucky once every two weeks?

I'd say more incompatible than insecure.

 

 

 

Do you understand the difference between incompatible and insecure?

 

 

There is a BIG difference btw.

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I think it's really up to you, OP. Your personal opinion/feelings are what matters here.

 

The cool thing is that this woman is being straight up with you, so that you know what you're getting into if you try dating her. Now it's just up to you to figure out if you're cool with it or not.

 

I get the impression that she's told you about her other dating experiences, because it probably irritates her when she does put the small amount of free time she has into a relationship, only for a guy to say a few months into it (or however long) that it's just "not working".

 

So she probably wants you to be sure you're cool with the situation before you decide to actually date her.

 

I personally couldn't do it. I'm an introverted homebody type and go well with a partner who is also cuddly / likes to hang out. For me getting my space means one or two days a week, or a couple events a week, where my partner and I do our own thing. Not seeing each other all week and then only some weekends wouldn't be worth it to me unless they were just the most mind-blowing person in the world to me, in which case I still wouldn't like the arrangement but would suck it up.

 

What some people call clingy others call normal, and what some people call needing space others call what's-the-point. And everything in between. It's not right or wrong in any case, just have to know where you fall on the spectrum and find someone similar.

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LookAtThisPOst
I think it's really up to you, OP. Your personal opinion/feelings are what matters here.

 

The cool thing is that this woman is being straight up with you, so that you know what you're getting into if you try dating her. Now it's just up to you to figure out if you're cool with it or not.

 

I get the impression that she's told you about her other dating experiences, because it probably irritates her when she does put the small amount of free time she has into a relationship, only for a guy to say a few months into it (or however long) that it's just "not working".

 

So she probably wants you to be sure you're cool with the situation before you decide to actually date her.

 

I personally couldn't do it. I'm an introverted homebody type and go well with a partner who is also cuddly / likes to hang out. For me getting my space means one or two days a week, or a couple events a week, where my partner and I do our own thing. Not seeing each other all week and then only some weekends wouldn't be worth it to me unless they were just the most mind-blowing person in the world to me, in which case I still wouldn't like the arrangement but would suck it up.

 

What some people call clingy others call normal, and what some people call needing space others call what's-the-point. And everything in between. It's not right or wrong in any case, just have to know where you fall on the spectrum and find someone similar.

 

So well put. I think it's more subjective on what is considered "needy". Arline pilots, doctors, people with a gypsy lifestyle who can't seem to settle their roots, may consider people like us "needy". I live in an area where couples are pretty much all into themselves and when kids come into the picture, they pretty much limit their social lives to an annual holiday party that they may or may not feel like attending.

 

If at most, they hang out with their neighbors across the street and nothing more.

 

I'm kind of testing this theory by texting her every so often to how she's doing in lieu before actual getting together after the holidays. (not blowing up her phone, but it's kind of a test to see if she's actually willing to stay in touch electronically.)

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