Men's Weakness for Love

[Mysterio]

I don't know how to say this. I think that men are weaker when it comes to love. What I mean by this is that they will do things that women won't do for love.

 

My Friend TD really went the mile and had a long distnce relationship with a woman that had a child and drove out to see her in another town once a month for about 6 days or so. 14 hrs of drive even in the winter. I have met his GF and I can't see her ever doing that for him. Even if she was single/childless and he was the single parent. No way would she do that. They now have a child together.

 

My other buddy DT is with a woman that is still legally married and has two kids. There is no real sign that she is divorcing her ex. I don't know what the hold up is. It could be a house thing.

 

I Mysterio. I don't have those situations that I have talked about. I am single. When I date a woman. If there is any murkiness. Unless there is some reasonable explanation. I just drop the women from my life.

 

Do you find that men will do anything for love for the most part. Where as women won't.

[PegNosePete]

No, I do not find that. I think your 2 friends are too small of a sample size to draw any kind of conclusions.

[Disillusioned]

Well, yes, in some cases.

 

One characteristic of healthy relationships is that neither partner cares who's "in charge" or "the boss" because that's not love, that's master-and-servant. Effective couples just... love.

 

One reason why a lot of single men are going through such hell these days (some of them have given up on trying to find love entirely) is because there are so many women who know they have most of the power to start, control, and end relationships (except for those men who've taken themselves off the market), and for these women it's a POWER thing.

 

I mean, come on... why else would some women get angry and defensive when some man starts talking about substitutes for women (sex dolls, sex toys, etc etc)? Because those things would nullify a controlling woman's POWER over men. Power is taken, never given.

 

Replies to my recent thread about lovebots proved something. Unattached women who honestly want to give and receive love---and I'm talking an emotional investment, not quickie sex for men who just want an endorphin hit---aren't on a power kick, so they don't care about robots, sex dolls, or anything else being a threat to them. Women in healthy relationships aren't threatened by such things either. The only women who DO see such things as a threat, do so because substitutes threaten their CONTROL and monopoly on POWER.

[ffw]

 

Do you find that men will do anything for love for the most part. Where as women won't.

 

No. In my opinion, it doesn't upon on gender, but rather the relationship. Of course, a healthy relationship will be there when there is a balance.

Edited August 8, 2014 by ffw

[Candy_Pants]

I've gone above and beyond the call of duty for men I've been with. It's just who I am. I'm also a woman.

 

This has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with the individuals.

 

All the women in my family (besides my mother) are very giving and selfless. Whereas the men think working is enough for the family. Yet their wives don't punch a clock. My Aunt gets up at 5am to start her day. She constantly runs errands for everyone else. She's lucky if she gets to sit down for an hour before bed at 11pm.

 

Now if I judged the genders on what I SAW my entire life then I'd say women are by far the more giving of the genders. But using individual people as the rule of all people is just silly.

[kodakgirl]

It is definitely about the person and their priorities and not their gender. Both men and women can have tremendous capacities for love. And both men and women can be self-centered, frightened, and/or pragmatic about it.

 

If you want to trade anecdotes, how about this-- in my past long-distance relationship I twice flew to the uk from canada, when I really couldn't afford it, just to spend one day with the man I loved.

[Scales]

I've gone above and beyond the call of duty for men I've been with. It's just who I am. I'm also a woman.

This has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with the individuals.

 

Bingo.

 

But for the sake of solving this mystery for the OP, let's look at what's really going on.

 

Whoever holds the power in the relationship does the least usually. OP's friend drove 14 hours to get some because he needed it more than she needs him. There are plenty of women who will not only jump through flaming hoops for a man they hold to be of high value, but will also make incredibly stupid life decisions based on their feelings. Men are likely to do the same. It comes down to who needs the other more which is based on individuals.

 

Men want sex. Women know this and often wave that card around. They say,"if you want a chance you'll need to do this, this, and this" and many insecure, desperate, not confident guys will do it at the drop of a hat. They are submitting instead of bargaining and creating a balance from the get go. If a guy has something a woman wants (body, money, validation, personality,etc), she will be the one desperately trying to get his attention instead. The situation is that all women have the sex card, but only a certain percentage of men have the qualities attractive to women. Men who do not possess those attractive qualities are more likely to be desperate and do more for the woman. However, as soon as men have the attractive qualities, women are the ones who become more desperate.

[kolleamm]

This is what happens when two people are together that don't see themselves as equals. It can happen to the guy or the girl.

 

I was in such a relationship before. She started giving me more and more orders thinking she had all the power. I broke up with her shortly and she started crying, I couldn't care less. I'm not evil I just have self respect.