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Opening Up To The World


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Hello: I find myself in a rather large conundrum. I have a very tiny world. I am a law student. I live just outside a small town with my parents, and I commute to school every day. I spend most of my days studying. However, when I want to take a break (maybe once or twice a week for a few hours), I feel very lonely because I have no close friends/significant other.

 

The older part of my past is littered with friendships that grew apart several years ago, and my more recent past (up until law school) consists of false friends who barely tolerated me. My significant other couldn't stand my dedication to law school, even though many attorneys/therapists/family members said that I dedicated more than enough time to him. Anyway, enough on him.

 

There are about 300 students at the school, 100 in my year, 50 in my section that I saw every day my first year.

 

My fellow students seem to be pretty nice, but have already branched into their own friend groups (cliques), and I feel very shy about trying to join in, as I have been there for about a year. I did try to join a law student softball team during the spring, and I hung out with folks afterwards on occasion, but no socializing otherwise.

 

My world feels very small, as I don't feel I have enough time to nurture friendships, or have a reliable group of buddies that I can go do things with when I have a break. I also want to meet more people, outside of law school, but "going out" on my own is lonesome, I am shy, and I can't go out on a regular basis due to a hectic schedule.

 

Anyone have any suggestions?

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Ah, yes, I have not mentioned my internship! I did intern somewhere, non-legal related, and I have formed good friendships with my fellow interns, but our internships are coming to an end and we won't have the opportunity to go out as we have to return to our respective schools.

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Is it more about having someone to go out and do stuff with or having someone to talk to in general? I've never really been the go out to a party and meet everyone kind of guy so I'd say a good 3/4ths of my friendships come from online people. Never really found it less satisfying than in person, unless of course you want someone to hit the movies with or something.

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littleplanet

Well OP,

 

It all starts with one.

And if you're a law student.....then law is what you'd have in common.

Not every single student in your school must belong to a clique.

 

You might also try having a look at that small town.

People tend to be a little more visible in small towns.

(not so much the crush of the crowd)

 

But also, if you don't really have the time to nurture a friendship - and happen to be shy - this doesn't make it easy.

 

If you could find one activity, organization, regular event.....that appealed to you, outside of school - it might be worth pursuing.

Something that fits your schedule.

 

I have a crazy schedule (university library) with all kinds of weird hours.

I'm also a musician.

I don't socialize outside of work with people I work with.

I socialize with musicians in clubs.

Those two sides of my life are completely separate.

But I can always find those few times in a month to take care of the social needs.

 

If there is some kind of activity that you enjoy, that appeals to you - perhaps others who enjoy the same thing.....whatever it is - would be the place to start.

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