Everyone around me is getting in a serious relationship or married.

[Biscous]

I feel so out of the norm here. I'm in a city where everyone appears to date and marry early. I'm 30, going to be 31 in October and really just hitting my stride as far as career success and personal independence.

 

I was dating a girl recently that I mentioned we are on and off. She is 26. I don't think she is the "one" for me and have a fear of settling. She likes that I'm out of the norm here...single, attractive, great career...oh and icing on the cake, no kids no ex wife.

 

I recently met a woman that is 32. She seems sweet, but I'm not sure if her life goals are aligned with mine. We hit it off but we will see how it goes.

 

Meanwhile I see on my Facebook and see in my personal life that people are getting engaged, people I wouldn't expect. People announcing relationships. I've encountered a lot of people who are dating and serious relationships.

 

Part of me wonders if there's something wrong with me for not finding the 'one' yet, besides me being a late bloomer, or do these people have nothing better else to do than get married and have kids?

 

I DO want the wife and kids in my life, but just not with the wrong person. Sometimes I do get envious of people having that happiness, but there's still things I want to accomplish before crossing that line.

 

Does anyone else feel that way?

[Dork Vader]

Meh I'm 30.. Longest relationship I've had was 6 months. I basically never put up with BS.. Now I'm 30 and in the same boat as you.. Time feels like it against me.

 

But the way I see it 50% of marriages end divorce.. i wont be part of that 50% because I held out for something true.

 

Life is life.. Just enjoy the ride..

[Zippy2000]

I know how you feel. When I go to any of my relatives weddings I always get asked the question when I m going to get married and have kids.

 

I feel like Im getting on a bit and to be honest I do feel sad I ve been a failure on this part as I would have loved to be in a relationship or married.

 

Unfortunately the women I ve tried to date either walked or didnt want to be with me or the ones I did like only wanted to be friends or said there was no chemistry.

 

Us humans are very complicated. I feel as I grow older my dating pool is limited. Women would prefer a younger hot guy than an older gent.

 

However its not just me. I have 6 close female friends who are good looking but also singe and they are over 30 years old. Something somewhere has gone wrong.

[Noproblem]

There will always be people around you who are getting married and yes getting divorced as well..

 

You walk according to your own pace. Don't rush things, and don't resist so hard as well..

 

If you feel this girl is not the one, don't waste her time or yours..

 

Go search for the next! Or don't search at all ...

 

But don't compare your life to others as each has his own story and path.

[HappyLove]

FB is infamous for this. People post their perfect lives and others get jealous. I'm in the same boat as you OP. I see friends getting married young and having kids. Something I'd love to happen for myself. I also saw those same people get in horrible divorces and have to downsize from a nice home to a 2 bdrm apartment with their poor kid in tow. Another good friend of mine has wound up having to move to another state to live with her parents and poor kid. I thank God that I never had to go through such horrors. So while it may suck and get lonely sometimes you also have a lot to be thankful for. I know when I meet the one I'm not going to be married just because everybody else is doing it. It's going to be because I've found a great partner in life and if it takes time to do that then it takes time.

[TouchedByViolet]

I share your feelings OP. As others have said though, most people in relationships are unhappy. Don't believe the facades shown on facebook.

[d0nnivain]

There's a time in everyone's life when it feels like all of their friends are getting married. If you haven't found the one, a year on a calendar is no go reason to settle down.

[Eau Claire]

I feel so out of the norm here. I'm in a city where everyone appears to date and marry early. I'm 30, going to be 31 in October and really just hitting my stride as far as career success and personal independence.

 

I was dating a girl recently that I mentioned we are on and off. She is 26. I don't think she is the "one" for me and have a fear of settling. She likes that I'm out of the norm here...single, attractive, great career...oh and icing on the cake, no kids no ex wife.

 

I recently met a woman that is 32. She seems sweet, but I'm not sure if her life goals are aligned with mine. We hit it off but we will see how it goes.

 

Meanwhile I see on my Facebook and see in my personal life that people are getting engaged, people I wouldn't expect. People announcing relationships. I've encountered a lot of people who are dating and serious relationships.

 

Part of me wonders if there's something wrong with me for not finding the 'one' yet, besides me being a late bloomer, or do these people have nothing better else to do than get married and have kids?

 

I DO want the wife and kids in my life, but just not with the wrong person. Sometimes I do get envious of people having that happiness, but there's still things I want to accomplish before crossing that line.

 

Does anyone else feel that way?

 

Where do you live? Here in Seattle the majority of 30 year olds are not married. The majority in most western nations are not longer married. Perhaps you should expand your social circle through joining Meet Ups or some other means.

 

It's positive to experience a world outside of childhood friends.

[Biscous]

Where do you live? Here in Seattle the majority of 30 year olds are not married. The majority in most western nations are not longer married. Perhaps you should expand your social circle through joining Meet Ups or some other means.

 

It's positive to experience a world outside of childhood friends.

 

I live in San Antonio. People here marry early and have kids early.

 

I've moved maybe 9-10 times before I turned 30. Six different states. I know other major cities such as Atlanta and DC, being single at 30 is nothing.

 

I've considered moving but my career is solid. There are some pockets of people here that are single. I keep myself busy with personal hobbies.

[Omei]

FB is infamous for this. People post their perfect lives and others get jealous. I'm in the same boat as you OP. I see friends getting married young and having kids. Something I'd love to happen for myself. I also saw those same people get in horrible divorces and have to downsize from a nice home to a 2 bdrm apartment with their poor kid in tow. Another good friend of mine has wound up having to move to another state to live with her parents and poor kid. I thank God that I never had to go through such horrors. So while it may suck and get lonely sometimes you also have a lot to be thankful for. I know when I meet the one I'm not going to be married just because everybody else is doing it. It's going to be because I've found a great partner in life and if it takes time to do that then it takes time.

 

But those people likely married because they too thought they were "the one" I doubt they married for fun, having to downsize after a divorce is normal I wouldnt call it a horror its an entire new chapter, you just might go through this yourself one day when you marry do not think you will have immunity to divorce.

[Stumble]

Yeh I'm in the same boat, and 31 year old. I'd rather be with the right person no matter how long I have to wait. Just broke it off with my ex who I think is not right for me. People around you who have settled and happy, good for them. At the same time I also see a lot of those who settled and unhappy and not in love with their other half and I feel sorry for them.

 

I think you have a good mind set when you said you don't want to settle with the wrong person. You also said you still have things you want to achieve before you settle which probably means that you are probably not ready to settle yet yourself.

[Moonborn]

I occasionally have the same feeling too (except that I am 27).

 

Recently something happened that gave me some good insight into that though. A good friend of mines who is a couple of years older than me was married and has 3 kids. I say was, because he told me last week that he is divorcing. That helped me realize that marriage doesn't necessarily equals a happy love life. In the end I'd rather be single at 30 than divorced.

 

And yeah, most of the stuff you see on FB is not as awesome as they make it appear.

[me85]

Of course people feel the same as you. I do! I'm 29, single, never married, no kids, never even engaged. Yet, I'm surrounded by people my age and younger racing to the alter as if that will complete their life & as though there is a time limit.

 

It's hilarious.

 

I'm in no rush. I date. Haven't dated anyone since late June but I date casually. Just keeping it fun with no expectations, that's the point I'm at in life. I've been heartbroken too many times.

 

I say, good for you. Never settle for less than you deserve.

 

Sharing the same life goals is really important but everything isn't always going to line up perfectly with the other person. I'd be happy with someone who has good work ethic and strives to do well in life. They don't have to strive to be rich or give me the world, just have to treat me good, be completely faithful to me, marry me and be the father of my children...until death do we part. :love::love:

[44tt]

FB is infamous for this. People post their perfect lives and others get jealous. I'm in the same boat as you OP. I see friends getting married young and having kids. Something I'd love to happen for myself. I also saw those same people get in horrible divorces and have to downsize from a nice home to a 2 bdrm apartment with their poor kid in tow. Another good friend of mine has wound up having to move to another state to live with her parents and poor kid. I thank God that I never had to go through such horrors. So while it may suck and get lonely sometimes you also have a lot to be thankful for. I know when I meet the one I'm not going to be married just because everybody else is doing it. It's going to be because I've found a great partner in life and if it takes time to do that then it takes time.

 

Facebook is not real life which is why I am never bothered by what people post. But you are right people want to post perfection. Lol