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Having an image of being a player when you're not


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I have a good friend of mine, male friend late 40's, very much NOT a player, in fact women in Meetup find him to be a great guy. He mostly attends a German Meetup group where he's been a member of the group for years...the group is more like a family to him.

 

He started to date a woman (not from that group) and as they were dating she had seen some of the group photos of his German group , some of which consisted him being surrounded by women...some even would sit on his lap in posed photos. It was all in good fun and stuff, but this seemed to piturb his prospective date.

 

She didn't like it at all and labeled him some kind of player or at least implied it as they were both going through the photos on the smart phone together.

 

That being said, does she have a reason to be concerned? Would this be a turn off to some of you ladies, even though he's never had any kind of dating relationships with these women? Is she just insecure?

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Flirtatious behavior will send some women running for the hills. Others will be savvy enough to realize that the photos are most likely harmless if the charming guy is showing them to her & is willing to introduce her to the women depicted in them so she can see for herself that it's all harmless fun.

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Eternal Sunshine

I don't care if it's all harmless fun or if he is player or not. That sort of flirtatious behaviour doesn't just disappear once someone is in relationship and I know I wouldn't be comfortable with a bf who was like that. Been there, done that so no thanks.

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I don't care if it's all harmless fun or if he is player or not. That sort of flirtatious behaviour doesn't just disappear once someone is in relationship and I know I wouldn't be comfortable with a bf who was like that. Been there, done that so no thanks.

 

But, at the time the picture was taken, he was unattached...could've been months ago that picture was taken..it was all in good fun. Why get jealous over something that had happened already?

 

Don't be so quick to judge, yes?

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Some people will never warm to a picture like the one you describe. Their philosophy is that flirting & lap sitting is reserved for people in relationships & all photographic evidence of prior relationships must be destroyed that the end of those relationships. Others are more open minded. Neither mindset is right or wrong but the two people in a relationship need to agree on the boundaries. When they differ, problems arise.

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If he had the photos out and said they were his German meetup group and that they were like family, I would ask him "Oh, did you date some of them?" If he said no, I'd be more thinking why not? What's wrong with him? They'll sit on his lap but not go out with him? I'd be all over that just finding out what the dynamic is. But as long as he introduced me to the group I wouldn't be worried.

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