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Not sure if this belongs in the right forum, but this involves how I became involved in Meetup that's for sure. lol.

 

Back in the day, I did have a smallish circle of friends that were mostly single or dating someone here and there. It was good for a time, then eventually they all got married.

 

I did attempt to have a social life with these people, but it was always, "Me and the wife are doing this" or "The wife wants me doing that this weekend" and so on.

 

I recalled being invited to a BBQ event one time at someone's house and I was the ONLY single person there, everyone there was married.

 

I think the straw that broke the camel's back was the fact I had actually some major even scheduled with me and a male friend (married of course) to go do something and he cancelled at the last minute because little miss "wifey" needed him around the house for whatever reason. lol

 

THat's where I discovered another means of meeting people...Meetup.com.

 

That being said, how many of you found yourselves in situations like this?

 

What's sad is, these people know NO single/available people whatsoever. So they never are able to invite a mix of single people to their events....but that's typical of a small community I suppose.

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How interesting to hear that a guy has experienced this too. This is very normal for women in terms of our female friends and it starts right when they get boyfriends. As long as I can remember every 1-2 years I've had to completely start from scratch and find new friends because as soon as they get a man (or have a kid) they disappear. Some of them try to crawl back when that relationship ends, but its just too late for me to want to bother with them.

 

I too have been using meetup to make new friends this time around and I joined a women's social group for ages 21-50s. What's great about it is that the coupled women are now so desperate for lives outside of their relationship and kids that they plan a lot of fun stuff. Since they do all the planning they don't flake either. So I just look through the calendar and see what interests me and rsvp as I like.

 

Now that group attracts a lot of single women as well and I'd love to have gal pals that I can hang out with more often or maybe even for last minute invites. So as I attend events I note who's single, childless, and around my age and see if we might have things in common. 2 of the gals I've invited to other things and its going ok. I haven't met my lifelong bestie yet, but I don't feel like I have to go everywhere alone either.

 

I'm not sure if you just want guy friends or coed, but meetup does have a lot of options for either. I joined a ton of groups that didn't work for me before finding the one I'm in now. Wow its kind of like dating lol. If you really aren't finding what you want you could always start your own group.

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Actually I've become quite annoyed of these situations. Most of my friends have a BF or GF by now and while I don't mind that at all it's bothering me how many meetups were cancelled because one girl's BF had to work and she'd feel uncomfortable without someone by her side. :rolleyes:

 

She's so insecure that she can't go somewhere by herself? Or has "Haha I have a boyfriend" become a new social status?

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LOL...I recall one BBQ event where a single woman probably early 30's, came with an older female friend (mid 50s). Apparently, she had a live in boyfriend that had some kind of condition where he couldn't be in the sun..so he stayed home.

 

At first, guys saw no ring on her finger, so there were a decent amount of men trying to "get to know her" she got the vibe that these guys were probably wanting to get to know her for dating reasons, but she'd mention the word "my boyfriend" in a sentence, and I suppose that chased them off.

 

She found herself alienating herself from the rest of the group as she and the female friend she came with sat in a corner ONLY talking to each other.

 

It looks like she was deliberately avoiding men (or people in general) but likely...men. LOL

 

WE never saw her again. I'm sure when she got home to her beau they probably had a good laugh at all the men that tried to "hit on her" LOL

 

 

Actually I've become quite annoyed of these situations. Most of my friends have a BF or GF by now and while I don't mind that at all it's bothering me how many meetups were cancelled because one girl's BF had to work and she'd feel uncomfortable without someone by her side. :rolleyes:

 

She's so insecure that she can't go somewhere by herself? Or has "Haha I have a boyfriend" become a new social status?

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Disillusioned

I haven't found my tribe yet.

 

Back when I was in my teens and twenties, everyone in my age group was mesmerized by college life... it was the be-all-end-all, a destination rather than a journey. I never understood what was so appealing about it, but I was practically alone in that regard except for a bunch of the guys I went to shop class with (they were the ones who went to work as mechanics, carpenters, electricians, etc... no "oh-boy-I'm-a-nerd" for them). Yeah, sure... I thought some of the girls were hot-looking, but they had the college bug. :( Universities were like black holes into which my friends disappeared, never to return to the real world.

 

Then after I finished high school and went to work, most of the people I ended up working with were either classist bosses in amuch snobbier league than I was, or drudges who were content to live paycheck to paycheck and go home to have a drink or do some dope at the end of the day (no ambition!). I had little opportunity to meet women, and most of those I did meet were neither "hot" nor interested.

 

When OLD was invented, it didn't change the dynamic for me because even back then, everyone I knew treated it as a sort of make-believe alternate universe.

 

Then meetup came along, and lo and behold, single people got the brilliant idea that they could use it to cut out the middleman... this DID change the dynamic for me because those who weren't interested in meeting, simply didn't go to meetups.

 

I still haven't found my tribe... but at least the possibility looks less bleak now that meetups are here and not going away any time soon.

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LOL...I recall one BBQ event where a single woman probably early 30's, came with an older female friend (mid 50s). Apparently, she had a live in boyfriend that had some kind of condition where he couldn't be in the sun..so he stayed home.

 

At first, guys saw no ring on her finger, so there were a decent amount of men trying to "get to know her" she got the vibe that these guys were probably wanting to get to know her for dating reasons, but she'd mention the word "my boyfriend" in a sentence, and I suppose that chased them off.

 

She found herself alienating herself from the rest of the group as she and the female friend she came with sat in a corner ONLY talking to each other.

 

It looks like she was deliberately avoiding men (or people in general) but likely...men. LOL

 

WE never saw her again. I'm sure when she got home to her beau they probably had a good laugh at all the men that tried to "hit on her" LOL

 

 

Yeah. I don't blame her, it's not a nice experience dealing with that.

 

You become 'unhuman' and just 'date meat'.

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Not sure if this belongs in the right forum, but this involves how I became involved in Meetup that's for sure. lol.

 

Back in the day, I did have a smallish circle of friends that were mostly single or dating someone here and there. It was good for a time, then eventually they all got married.

 

1. I did attempt to have a social life with these people, but it was always, "Me and the wife are doing this" or "The wife wants me doing that this weekend" and so on.

 

I recalled being invited to a BBQ event one time at someone's house and I was the ONLY single person there, everyone there was married.

 

I think the straw that broke the camel's back was the fact I had actually some major even scheduled with me and a male friend (married of course) to go do something and he cancelled at the last minute because little miss "wifey" needed him around the house for whatever reason. lol

 

THat's where I discovered another means of meeting people...Meetup.com.

 

That being said, how many of you found yourselves in situations like this?

 

2. What's sad is, these people know NO single/available people whatsoever. So they never are able to invite a mix of single people to their events....but that's typical of a small community I suppose.

 

What you are talking about is quite common.

 

RE 1. Friends fading due to being in a serious relationship is quite common. Their spouse (and then their spouse and kids) have to be their first social priority and time is limited, so they won't be nearly as available.

 

RE 2. As far as the whole setting up thing, I think the order you have it written down here is wrong. The way I've seen that it works is, they (the coupled people you are associating with) are the ones to offer to set you up. As in, you hang out with them, they see what a cool guy you are, and then *they* are the ones to initiate and ask if you are single. A single person asking to be set up is doing it backwards. So it's no wonder they are responding to that request by saying that they know of no single people.

 

3. Don't you have a girlfriend right now anyway?

Edited by Imajerk17
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Not sure if this belongs in the right forum, but this involves how I became involved in Meetup that's for sure. lol.

 

Back in the day, I did have a smallish circle of friends that were mostly single or dating someone here and there. It was good for a time, then eventually they all got married.

 

I did attempt to have a social life with these people, but it was always, "Me and the wife are doing this" or "The wife wants me doing that this weekend" and so on.

 

I recalled being invited to a BBQ event one time at someone's house and I was the ONLY single person there, everyone there was married.

 

I think the straw that broke the camel's back was the fact I had actually some major even scheduled with me and a male friend (married of course) to go do something and he cancelled at the last minute because little miss "wifey" needed him around the house for whatever reason. lol

 

THat's where I discovered another means of meeting people...Meetup.com.

 

That being said, how many of you found yourselves in situations like this?

 

What's sad is, these people know NO single/available people whatsoever. So they never are able to invite a mix of single people to their events....but that's typical of a small community I suppose.

 

Similar situation here as well. Had a good social network and then they all went on to do whatever. I have joined meetup and have found it to be great for meeting new people.

 

If anyone else wants to meet new people through meetup I recommend joining a club that you are actually interested in and not some singles get together thing.

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3. Don't you have a girlfriend right now anyway?

 

Yes, I do....but this post is something that happened years ago. :)

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Similar situation here as well. Had a good social network and then they all went on to do whatever. I have joined meetup and have found it to be great for meeting new people.

 

If anyone else wants to meet new people through meetup I recommend joining a club that you are actually interested in and not some singles get together thing.

 

Completely agree. Our hiking group has produced a half dozen relationships. Actually quite cute to see them develop. The dating oriented Meet Ups fizzled out....almost no events. In contrast the activity oriented Meet Ups have mushroomed. Our hiking group now has over 4000 members...and it is only one of 3 large hiking groups. Our dance group attracts 150 participants at least once a week...again only one of a few dance groups.

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Completely agree. Our hiking group has produced a half dozen relationships. Actually quite cute to see them develop. The dating oriented Meet Ups fizzled out....almost no events. In contrast the activity oriented Meet Ups have mushroomed. Our hiking group now has over 4000 members...and it is only one of 3 large hiking groups. Our dance group attracts 150 participants at least once a week...again only one of a few dance groups.

 

Gotta love meetup right? I think it's one of the single greatest things ever invented. :D

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