How do most teenagers have so much mobility?

[R3d]

Haven't been here in a while because I was busy on this other message board on which I got tons of criticism and heat but also a lot of great advice. The problem: it isn't very applicable for the summer, because clubs and most orchestras are in session during the school year). <Link to other message board redacted>

 

From a thread I recently posted:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/475084-being-indian-descent-really-detrimental-even-if-you-americanized

 

 

Schools out for the summer. How about focusing on meeting new girls that you don't go to school with? Start going to summertime activities and start approaching girls there. When I was that age, I'd be going to the beach and meeting guys, or a tennis court, or roller skating at the roller rink, or summer fairs, or hanging out at the local hot spot for teens. Summer is a time to meet new people that you don't normally see during the school year. My nephew met his wife at the state fair when he went there with his buddy, and they approached two girls there. She turned into his high school sweetheart, whom he later married. Summer is also a time to keep up friendships with your school chums and having parties with your school chums. What about parties? That's how my kids usually socialized, where they would invite whomever they knew in school over for the night and socialize.

 

Even if you watch movies or read novels about teenagers, they are always talking about how they are hanging out at the movies, beach, etc and it doesn't seem like they drive. They just walk out of their house, so to speak.

 

I was actually thinking about doing exactly what KathyM has suggested. The problem is that first of all, I don't have any friends that hang out. More importantly, none of the places she recommends are actually within reasonable walking distance. Beach? ~10 minute drive. Mall/movies ~20 minute drive for which you actually have to go to a different town therefore and have to take a high way. I don't skate. Of course, I don't even know of any parties going on. I can't drive as this question implies, and I am not going to go up to my mom and be like, "Hey, can you drive me to the mall so I can pick up chicks?" I mean I do occasionally go shopping for new clothes, but I am usually busy with my mom during that time. Basically, it's not like I ever go to these places alone. If I am at these places, it's because I am out with ny family. Never am I out alone or with just friends (because my current few friends don't go out like that).

 

So I am trying to figure out here: how the hell are teenagers hanging out so much then, the ones who can't drive which is probably the majority of the teenage population so...) on their own, without getting driven by parents it seems? Or is it just my town that for some reason has neother a movie or a mall or any real places where teenagers hang out. I have heard someone say this before at my school, "This town sucks because there aren't any real places to just hang out."

 

And by the way, I am volunteering at a summer camp for music and arts and I am asking out this girl that I am interested in (I said in that other thread that I am giving up, but decided to start again especially after realizing that she's shy, there is one sign that she may be interested, but really YOLO and you never know), and have been flirting with, there tomorrow (tomorrow's the last day and there are no rules about flirting in the handbook and I see other people doing it all the time so...). Probably going to get rejected, but whatever.

 

And yeah, I know that I have said here and in that thread that I can't flirt, but I managed to pull it off somewhat with this girl. What I am still working on is making conversation natural and not forced. Also, lightening up (I have made some progress with this). In addition, not being as shallow. That thread that I linked to made me realize thay part of the issue is that I have actually been really shallow which was partly responsible for my self-loathing. So that's anothet thing I am working on: recognizing nore what's on the inside than out, which will do two things:

 

1. Make me less picky about looks.

2. Make it more likely for me to meet and get to know girls I connect with and have stuff in common with since I won't not pay attention to them just because I am not initially attracred to them. Because I heard that you can actually become atteacted to someone's looks with time. And even if you don't, at worst you will have made a new friend, which as that person in the other thread, is also great for me as I am also deficient in that area too. Remember, I also wish to have more friends in real life.

 

I am also planning on volunteering at this museum for about 20's hours so I guess that would be another potential place for me to meet girls.

 

I know you will tell me to focus on making friends and that is exactly what I plan on doing when school starts again. It's just that right now isn't really the best time to start making new friends. Right now is more of a time to keep in touch with existing friends a bit and meet girls that I haven't seen before.

 

So anyway, back to the OP. How do teenagers do it?

 

Sorry for any typing errors. The auto-correct on my phone is no longer a feature after the last software update for some reason.

Edited July 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redacted external link and pointed to relevant forum thread

[Eggplant]

American suburbia is a terrible place to spend your teenage years. If you can't drive, you can't do anything.

 

 

Life for teenagers in Europe, by contrast, is different, because you can go anywhere anytime with public transportation. I think in many big cities in the U.S. it's the same.

 

 

The movies always cast teenagers as protagonists who have the carefree world of adolescence and the independence of adulthood at the same time. This is a fantasy of course.

[R3d]

So yeah, she wasn't into me. She stopped me right before I could ask her out. I was like, "Can I talk to you for a moment?" and then she said, "I have to go," and then I didn't get a chance. But whatever. I was pretty sure she wasn't into me but I decided to go for it anyway because YOLO and I have heard of some instances where girls said "yes" even if they are not showing any interest. Besides, I was starting to wonder if she was really my type anyway.

 

Anyway, back to the issue. So how do most teenagers "hang out" then?

[clia]

Before my friends and I could drive, we had our parents drop us off places. Usually one person's parent would drop off and another person's parent would pick up. First and foremost you need to make some friends so you have people to go hang out with. If I recall correctly, you are 16, so at least some people in your social circle should have their driver's licenses. (Why don't you get yours?) So, either have your parents drop you off, or make friends with people who have their license.

[R3d]

Okay, that would make sense.

 

And yeah, I am not getting my permit until I am 17.5 (so basically next summer).

[clia]

I honestly think that at your age, building up your friendship circle will give you the highest possibility of success in meeting and dating girls. I have no idea where you live, but I grew up in suburbia, and in high school people were always gathering at various places. Someone's parents go out of town, so people go there, or there's a mutual decision that everyone meets up in the Taco Bell parking lot or some other location, etc. You don't have to be Mr. Popular to go to these types of gatherings, but you do need at least some social profile / friend group. The dances and sporting events (football or basketball mainly) were also a good place to hang out and interact. We also did quite a bit of walking; there was a Denny's a mile or so away that we hung out at a lot when we were 14 or 15. Everyone did. That's how we met people from other grades and even from other schools.

[preraph]

You need to get an after-school job and buy a bike or scooter or car. I lived out in the boondocks but had a small scooter at 12 plus a horse, and my parents drove me places. Get a friend who lives close to something or an older friend who has a car and stay over there sometimes. You have to make a way eventually to be mobile. I mean, basically, if you're not mature enough to have achieved mobility, you're probably not really ready to date except in the halls at school or whatever.