Small Talk

[SJC2008]

I'm not a big small talker and as I've gotten older my skills are lacking due to my insecurities as it's mostly a confidence thing. On the flip side, I've met people that are very good at it but ate insecure as well.

 

When I say I'm not good at it I don't mean in every sense. If I'm out and meet someone I can do small talk because you want to build to a convo. The small talk I'm referring to is more like water cooler talk I guess. I don't like it because it seems pointless and people do it to not be amongst soneone in silence. If I'm waiting for a printout at work I'll say hi, if anything at all. Sometimes I'll make a small joke but for the most part I'm quiet. It seems like most other people have these mini conversations all the time. What's the point? Do you have to talk so bad you'll gabb for 20 seconds while waiting for a fax or printout? Do you fear being amongst someone in silence? I'm not trying to sound like some deep guy, I like to shoot the shyt too but doing so while wai ti ng for a fax or whatever seems totally pointless. What do tall think?

[melodicintention]

I think you sound exactly like me. You are introverted. Very few of us out there. I can small talk to network in my chosen career, but I don't like it either. But ya I'm seen as standoffish because I won't talk about nonsense either most of the time. It's painful to me to make small talk, it's so inane. I need depth of subject to have a conversation.

 

What's great about being like us, we weed out the people who wouldn't work out as friends for us anyways. You will eventually meet someone who's not a small talker too and you will have deep conversations right off from te start, these are the people that you will build lasting relationships with. So don't feel bad for not being a small talker. Just be who you are.

[guest569]

I'm usually pretty quiet too, it doesn't occur to me to make small talk in those moments. Nothing wrong with that. Are you talking about this in relation to love? Most of the relationships or dates I've had enjoy quiet moments just sitting together in silence etc. so i dont think you will have a problem. A lot of people are either chatty or they feel awkward if there is silence. But generally in relationships when you are comfortable with each other silence becomes less awkward. Like with close friends of famly

[preraph]

As far as at work, I would say a minimum of small talk is best. But you do have to acknowledge people in a friendly way once in awhile to keep them from thinking you hate them. But that can just mean saying "hey" and smiling or "could the weather suck any more?" You certainly don't have to talk to people every time you make a copy, just a quick smile to acknowledge they're there or saying "I'll be done in a minute" if they're waiting.