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Girl I have a crush on isn't in any of my classes?


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Normally, I don't start threads here unless it's topic to be discussed ad nauseam, but because this is actually the most common problem I have with dating in high school (by the way, I have never had a date or a girlfriend), I have decided to make an exception because I will use this for future reference as well, as I find myself in this situation very often.

 

There's this girl that I think is extremely pretty and today...she was looking sooo sexy. I would have gone up and told her that she looks nice today. I really do want to approach her, and I would, but there's just one problem.

 

She isn't in any of my classes, except lunch. But at lunch, she sits with all her friends and stuff so I can't do it there. You also must remember that I don't really have any connections with anyone in my school (basically, I have very few friends and don't "know" a lot of people). We only get 4 minutes between classes. I do know where she comes from to go to lunch (because we come from the same wing, even though it's not the same classroom). She's in chorus and I am in orchestra.

 

But it's tough, because I don't really have the time to introduce myself properly and start an actual conversation. So what do I do?

 

Do I just walk up to her and tell her how I think she's pretty/whatever and ask her to have lunch with me?

 

Or do I take it slow and slowly get her to notice me more and more?

 

You guys have any ideas?

 

Oh, and I also do see her walking around in the morning, so I guess I have a few minutes there, but even in the morning, she's often talking to her friends, so I still wouldn't have much time.

 

What do I do in these types of situations where I hardly have any time to talk to my crush? In these kinds of situations, it's not viable for me to actually take the time to get to know her a little first and/or have a full-blown conversation with her before I ask her out or something because like I said, I don't have the time.

 

Time is the problem.

 

By the way (for those of you who haven't participated in my threads), I am a sophomore in high school (16), and she's a freshman.

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lostnlovely

All you need is a hello . Dont be shy , most girls dont like that.

 

Even if she is sitting with her friends at lunch , dont be afraid to walk up to her and say , " you look really nice today" ... leave it at that .. then when you see her alone approach her again and introduce yourself.

 

It really doesnt take much , but do not wait for her to notice you , because she might not.

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Well I am certainly not waiting for her. I understand that as a man it's my job to make the first move. Now as for this:

All you need is a hello .

I have heard this so many times but you what you need to understand is that for some reasons, every time I try this, girls act cold and indifferent. Basically, for some reason, especially a lot of the freshman girls (not so much of a problem with older girls) are extremely cold to me when I go up to them and say "hi". Now, if a girl says "hi", I do intend to either introduce myself or basically have some sort of follow up and start a conversation, but it seems like right at the "hi", girls say "hi" back very coldly and indifferently and some even just walk away after that as soon as I try to start the conversation.

 

With that, I will redirect you to this part of my other thread (so basically starting here): http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/475084-being-indian-descent-really-detrimental-even-if-you-americanized-5.html#post5686875

 

Things just never seem to go well for me when I simply go up and say "hi" and/or ask how they are doing.

 

Though I think you're idea might actually be viable...telling her at lunch that she looks nice or whatever and then following up with an approach afterwards to introduce myself. But even from here, it's not a walk in the park. Like I said, we only get 4 minutes between classes, so I am only getting a few minutes a day of interaction with her...unless like I proposed, I ask her out to lunch relatively soon.

 

And this is another thing I feel iffy about because something I have noticed about freshman girls, is they are very cliquey and cling to their friends like magnets. So I feel like that's going to be a sure-fire way to get rejected, just because she doesn't want to leave her friends to talk to some totally random stranger.

 

You also gotta remember that she's out of my league, definitely in terms of looks, if not personality-wise. She's insanely pretty. She's got physical traits I really dig in a girl. Very smooth skin, very thin, pretty face, straight brown hair. Very nice...

 

Though I am still going to try my best not to put her on a pedestal or anything.

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I've had experience with this in the past.

 

I had a crush on this girl without ever meeting her before or talking to her, and I was in none of her classes.

 

 

Firstly, what makes you think that been in her class is going to make it any different.

 

Do you think your teacher might pair people up and you'll be with her?

 

Do you think you'll eye f*uck each other for the whole lesson and fall in love?

 

Do you think she'll ask you to borrow a pen because her's vanished?

 

 

Life is never a straight path and obstacles will always turn up in front of you and its up to you whether you want to jump over them or turn around and walk back.

 

In my eyes, not been in any of her classes is an advantage since you're more mysterious in one way or another.

 

I know it's easier said than done to talk to a girl that you've never had any verbal communication with but you're not going to get anywhere by thinking she'll notice and fall for you a little bit more every time you walk by.

 

You need to create a connection with this girl, go up to her with confidence and introduce yourself.

 

Don't plan on what you're going to talk about because you can't predict what will go down from there, but have a light conversation with her like normal humans do.

 

Keep it short and simple.

 

Now she knows you exist.

 

Game on.

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So you're saying I should literally walk up to her and say, "Hi, I am (name)." and take it from there?

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That's what I would do.

 

"Hey, I've seen you around a few times and thought I'd say hi, my names ...., whats yours?"

 

Then have a conversation with her, be a man.

 

As long as your genuine and not some creepy person that looks at her like they want to take her clothes right off there and then you'll be fine.

 

Be cool about it.

 

Let me know how it goes!

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Wait, I am finding it really difficult to get her alone. She's always with her friends. I feel like my only viable method now is to go up to her at lunch while she's with her friends and do it.

 

How do I go about approaching a girl sitting at lunch with her friends?

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Wait, I am finding it really difficult to get her alone. She's always with her friends. I feel like my only viable method now is to go up to her at lunch while she's with her friends and do it.

 

How do I go about approaching a girl sitting at lunch with her friends?

 

In all honesty I'm not sure how to go about this because it's in school.

 

If I were to approach her while her friends are around you'll have to acknowledge the friends as well as her. But your main focus is on the girl you're interested in, smile at her, and start some small talk with her.

 

Once again, if you go over with confidence, a smile, and just start having a normal conversation it shouldn't be too bad.

 

Keep it short and simple to let her know you exist.

 

End it with saying "I'll see you around"

 

Now you've created the start of a connection, build it from there.

 

Be a man.

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normal person
So you're saying I should literally walk up to her and say, "Hi, I am (name)." and take it from there?

 

Rexxy's advice is not without it's merit but I wouldn't go about it that way. Yes, it's confident and direct but I wouldn't do it like that if I'd never really talked to a girl before. There are too many ways it can go wrong.

 

How about this: Instead of walking up to her and saying she's pretty (which, as nice as it is, is very easy for a young girl to label "creepy"), why don't you talk to her situationally? About a thing like something in the hallway or something going on in the school. Have a believable reason to talk to her so it's not so obviously sexually charged. Then once you've got a foot in the door with communication, gauge interest. Is she cold and indifferent? If yes, then she's got no interest, abort--best not be labeled creepy. Is she engaged? Great, now get less situational and more personal. To her it looks and feels like it happened organically. If you're funny and charming about it, she might like you and suddenly you've got the upper hand. Always worked for me.

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Rexxy's advice is not without it's merit but I wouldn't go about it that way. Yes, it's confident and direct but I wouldn't do it like that if I'd never really talked to a girl before. There are too many ways it can go wrong.

 

How about this: Instead of walking up to her and saying she's pretty (which, as nice as it is, is very easy for a young girl to label "creepy"), why don't you talk to her situationally? About a thing like something in the hallway or something going on in the school. Have a believable reason to talk to her so it's not so obviously sexually charged. Then once you've got a foot in the door with communication, gauge interest. Is she cold and indifferent? If yes, then she's got no interest, abort--best not be labeled creepy. Is she engaged? Great, now get less situational and more personal. To her it looks and feels like it happened organically. If you're funny and charming about it, she might like you and suddenly you've got the upper hand. Always worked for me.

 

Whoa, I didn't say that he should say she's pretty. I said they should have a normal conversation which is what your saying anyway.

 

I told him to do exactly what you said, have a normal conversation with her.

 

Never said anything about telling her she's pretty or anything along those lines.

 

I'll repeat:

 

Go up to her, introduce yourself, and have normal conversation like everyday humans do then you've created the start of a connection.

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  • 2 months later...
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Bumping becausd I wanted to ask, "What if there's nothing situational to talk about?" See, that's the trap I fall into the most. When I say that I don't have anything to talk about, that's what I mean. Sure, I have stuff to talk about and said girl probably does too, but we aren't going to immediately start talking about our lives and **** (in most casess). I would feel a lot more comfortable doing this if there was actually something situational to talk about because that sort of gives me an excuse and makes the interaction not feel forced in anywm way. The problem is I can never think of anything situational, especially in a school hallway...

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normal person
I would feel a lot more comfortable doing this if there was actually something situational to talk about because that sort of gives me an excuse and makes the interaction not feel forced in anywm way. The problem is I can never think of anything situational, especially in a school hallway...

 

"Do you know what's going on with...?"

"Hey, can I borrow a pen?"

 

You can cast a wide net, address a lot of people, one of whom could be her. If she's intrigued, receptive, pays you attention, etc, proceed.

 

Girls at that age are boy crazed. If she likes you there's a good chance it'll be pretty obvious.

 

All this considered, as I've said before, I think you need to stop seeking answers here and just learn for yourself through trial and error. Every situation is nuanced. There's only so much you can learn about by reading. You need to experience body language, tones of voice, facial expressions and mannerisms. Athletes don't get good at sports by reading about them, they get good by actually playing and practicing and learning the intricacies for themselves.

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You're making things really difficult on yourself getting a crush on a girl you never talked to simply because she's pretty. I'm betting that she's white and blonde too.

 

Your odds are much better at getting a "date" with a girl you regularly talk to.

 

BTW, are there any girls you talk to in school?

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You're right somedude81 that I was putting too much weight on looks and essentially being very shallow for the past few months so recently I have been working on recognizing more what's on the inside and just being less shallow.

 

As for your last question, I was beginning to become friends with my stand partner during the last quarter last year that was a girl. That was about it though.

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You're right somedude81 that I was putting too much weight on looks and essentially being very shallow for the past few months so recently I have been working on recognizing more what's on the inside and just being less shallow.

 

As for your last question, I was beginning to become friends with my stand partner during the last quarter last year that was a girl. That was about it though.

 

I don't know what a stand partner is, but that sounds like a good start.

 

Trying to jump from having no female friends or even talking to anybody to trying to date a super cute girl you have a crush on is a recipe for disaster.

 

You need to get more comfortable around girls first. Make friends with girls in your class. Talk to anybody who is nice no matter what she looks like. Having a reputation of being friendly and sociable can only help you.

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There's nothing to talk about because you don't know her. You just think she looks hot. You can't and shouldn't want to ask her out until you talk to her and see if you even like her personality or she likes yours.

 

I can't believe her having friends is keeping you from saying hi. So you want to isolate her right away or you can't deal with talking to her? The way to get to know people is NOT single one out from the herd and focus on them like prey but to be open and friendly to everyone at school and smile and say hi to everyone you pass in the hall or see in class. You make friends, you meet girls. Week 1: start smiling and saying "hi" to everyone in the hall and meeting their eyes. Week 2: Smile and say hi to her whole group in the hall and keep moving down the hall. If in Week 3, any of them start saying hi to you in the hall and they will, then talk to the girls who are friendly and saying hi to you and stop focusing on one girl because she's pretty. She could be a big mess, you don't know. Get to know the people at your school and girls will come in time.

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