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What makes a girl interesting?


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madgirl1991

I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty boring. After all, that must be why guys lose interest in me around the month mark. At first, I act a bit elusive, but then as we gt closer I spend more time with them and they gradually lose interest. Its not because I'm getting uglier, or acting bitcher. So i must be boring.

 

They say, have your own hobbies and life. Well, what do real women out there do for fun before they find a significant other? What if you dont have many frineds and are unable to make them? What lonesone activities do you do? When you meet someone do you still do all of them, or do you drop some to make time for the new partner? Which do you drop?

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Come on, you are not boring. You havent found the right guy yet. Don't worry it will happen sooner or later.

 

Best things happen when you least expect It :)

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madgirl1991

No really. when i go to put in my hobbies on dating sites, i end up putting down my favourite food, that i go to the gym and that i like music. See?!! No hobbies! I need help :)

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They say, have your own hobbies and life. Well, what do real women out there do for fun before they find a significant other? What if you dont have many frineds and are unable to make them? What lonesone activities do you do? When you meet someone do you still do all of them, or do you drop some to make time for the new partner? Which do you drop?

I don't have much to go on but this post makes me think you center your life around the men you date and you drop everything else. That is indeed boring and it's a mistake lots of people make.

 

Once you get serious (which isn't the 1 month mark), it's unrealistic to keep up all your hobbies because you have to have enough time for each other but you should keep things going that you enjoy, you are good at, stuff you enjoy talking about, makes you want to socialise. This is what gives you spark and keeps you interesting. Don't become the woman who hangs onto the guy's every word and has nothing to do with her spare time when he isn't around.

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PegNosePete
At first, I act a bit elusive, but then as we gt closer I spend more time with them and they gradually lose interest. Its not because I'm getting uglier, or acting bitcher.

You mention acting twice in that paragraph. Why are you acting in front of these guys? Try being yourself. Don't put on an act.

 

They say, have your own hobbies and life. Well, what do real women out there do for fun before they find a significant other?

Various women I know have the following hobbies: hiking, kayaking, crocheting, amateur dramatics, theatre visiting, football, languages, cooking, salsa dancing, camping, metal detecting, singing, playing drums. And a lot more that I probably can't think of. Whatever you like to do, do it! If you want to get into something new just use the internet to find things you like the sound of.

 

What if you dont have many frineds and are unable to make them?

Meetup dot com

 

When you meet someone do you still do all of them, or do you drop some to make time for the new partner?

I would hate a woman to drop all her hobbies when she met me.

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regine_phalange

I've seen very interesting and smart girls, who pause their hobbies and life for a man and become a shadow of theirselves. After a point, the man begs them to meet their friends or find a hobby. But these women don't want to anymore, and feel suspicious of these recommendations. They also get jealous when the man meets his friends or does a solitary activity. Don't become that woman. You can keep your activities and spend quality time with your man, with some planning.

 

What do you enjoy to do? There is something that suits you, you just didn't find it yet. I know women who have as hobbies nail art, video games, weightlifting, cooking, dancing, plants. I have those hobbies/interests: making homemade lotions, perfume, yoga, cognitive science and writing.

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I always had a full life. In college I joined various activities: yearbook, my sorority, an honor society etc. I also had a job.

 

After college I worked. I joined industry groups & eventually led a few. I am a member of a charitable society. I love to read & travel. I'm an aspiring writer. I like wine. I play golf. I have served on charitable boards. I'm active politically. You have to get involved in stuff that interests you.

 

You mentioned your favorite food. Why not take a cooking class to improve your skills? If you go to a gym, get involved in a health group. If you like music do you go to concerts?

 

Join some kind of meet up group that does something you care about. Volunteer somewhere. You can do both of those things without a posse of friends & doing them may help you meet new friends.

 

As for the time constraints, I always honored my commitments, so know I didn't blow off the rest of my life just because some new guy came along. I did often get less sleep & I had to juggle stuff.

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It's good to have interests and hobbies and passions, but don't set too much stock in this as "the missing ingredient." I have a ton of interests and hobbies and life experiences, and I've been single most of my adult life. My best friend in university is, quite honestly, boring (though I love her)-- she was the one who was in a relationship all through our four-year undergrad and married him a year later. They just had chemistry. He liked her, liked being with her and liked how she made him feel-- simple as that.

 

As for me-- I am the kind of person with an insatiable curiosity for the world, so I have a ton of interests and acquire new ones all the time. I'm interested in history, art, photography/history of photography, literature, travel, languages, psychology, neurology, sociology, the 1920s, aviation, the World Wars, design, mountaineering, animals... on and on, really. I get really excited talking about things that interest me-- more importantly for dating purposes, I am easily excited to hear someone else talk about things that interest him. Heck, the last guy had me listening with fascination to him talking about hockey for 20 minutes, because he was so into it! I have a tendency to be shy but if I'm talking to a friendly person with interests, I have no problem with great conversation. I've always had great conversations on my dates, even if there was no spark and we never had a second.

 

I'm not super social and don't have tons of friends, but I have lots of hobbies I do by myself, too. I write, I have two blogs, I travel/plan trips/dream of trips I'd like to take, I cook and always try new recipes, I write letters to friends (actual letters, I love mail), I go to silent films (usually with my silent film buddy, sometimes alone), I try out new coffee shops, I collect old postcards and photographs, I come up with random art/craft projects purely for fun (I'm not very good at art, but it is fun), I take photographs (sometimes on film, which then adds the darkroom, which I love), I visit museums and exhibitions. I'd really like to start getting into swing dancing and rock climbing. I love trying stuff and seeing new places, even just within the city. Some of these things I would really love to do with a partner instead of alone, but I won't not do them alone, because I like doing them so much. Some are inherently done alone-- if/when I have a partner, no, I am not going to stop writing or working on my blogs or making photographs, no way. I will move the time I spent on those things around for him but I won't cut it. I expect him to have some hobbies he does alone or with friends too.

 

Anyway-- well, you see my point! I think I can fairly call myself 'interesting' (I've done tons of cool things in my life, too). I'm also really nice, and pretty attractive. I'm very, very single. It is important to work on yourself, and I think you should try and find things that really interest you, for YOU, first and foremost. But so much of romance comes down to chance and chemistry, too. You want to be the best version of yourself you can for when that fellow comes around, but being the best version of yourself might not make him come around any sooner. However, the more you are interested in your own life, the less hard that wait will be.

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whirl3daway
I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty boring. After all, that must be why guys lose interest in me around the month mark. At first, I act a bit elusive, but then as we gt closer I spend more time with them and they gradually lose interest. Its not because I'm getting uglier, or acting bitcher. So i must be boring.

 

They say, have your own hobbies and life. Well, what do real women out there do for fun before they find a significant other? What if you dont have many frineds and are unable to make them? What lonesone activities do you do? When you meet someone do you still do all of them, or do you drop some to make time for the new partner? Which do you drop?

 

 

Honestly - I don't have hobbies to find a SO, and they don't end after I start dating someone. I have hobbies because I find things interesting! What do you find interesting? You like going to the gym - are you into being fit and healthy? That's a hobby. Do you like to cook/go out to eat? That's a hobby.

 

Why don't you have many friends?

 

These are things I would call my hobbies: photography, reading, cooking, travel, nail art, makeup, thrift store shopping, the internet (forums, etc), finding new music, working out, learning about all kinds of things, playing with my kitty (not a euphemism lol), going out for walks...

 

If you don't have things that you like to do, and you don't do things after you start dating someone - no wonder people are getting bored! What do you talk about? What stories do you tell? Do you have a good sense of humor?

 

I always get this sense from your posts... you seem a little lost in the dating world. I'm not sure that you have a real strong sense of who you are, and what you like. You are good looking and have a nice body, but sometimes I get the feeling that you think that's all men want. It's not! Not the good ones.

 

"Good" men want a woman that respects them, that will make them feel important and needed, someone that will make them laugh and will make them think, someone who brings something to their life that they didn't have before. They want a girl who thinks for herself, who knows herself well, and treats others well. Looks and a body are only one necessary component.

 

Also another thing... I've read all of your other posts. It seems like you are pretty normal up until you start getting close to someone. Then another side of you comes out - the one that accuses men of "being gay", one that throws things when you are angry, being a little demanding, telling stories of your ex lovers... men don't like that kind of thing. People in general don't like that kind of thing. Perhaps you should take some time to be alone and see a therapist and see why you behave in these manners?

Edited by whirl3daway
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I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty boring. After all, that must be why guys lose interest in me around the month mark. At first, I act a bit elusive, but then as we gt closer I spend more time with them and they gradually lose interest. Its not because I'm getting uglier, or acting bitcher. So i must be boring.

 

They say, have your own hobbies and life. Well, what do real women out there do for fun before they find a significant other? What if you dont have many frineds and are unable to make them? What lonesone activities do you do? When you meet someone do you still do all of them, or do you drop some to make time for the new partner? Which do you drop?

 

 

Are you saying you don't really have friends or your own hobbies and life? To be honest, if you don't genuinely have your own life, interests, hobbies and friends but only sort of want to pretend like you do or you're the type who waits to find a SO before you start living life and having fun, it will be hard to keep up and be pretty obvious. It also can definitely be a source of strain in a relationship (esp after the honeymoon period where it is more normal to want to spend every moment together) if you have nothing new to talk about or do besides hang out with your SO.

 

What do you normally do for fun or as hobbies? How do you even meet your SOs?

 

For me, I truly do think of my guy as adding to my life, not I had no life and now he is my life. I'm a full time grad student with lots of school obligations and extracurricular obligations, I also have a great group of friends with whom I hang out, I have my weekly meditation practice, my weekly dance event, I go to the gym, I have my shows I like to watch and sometimes like to watch in bed alone, I volunteer, I do lots of things by myself and with friends. I was also single for a while and there was no way I was gonna not have a life until a guy came along. Now that I'm in a relationship I actually do have to find ways to fit quality time with my guy in around the things I am obligated to do as well as want to do. Some things I did alone are now nice to do with him as a couple, like visiting certain places, going to the movies, trying out new restaurants. It is nice to have a companion who is always down to try something new with me. But there are other things that I continue to do by myself. In my own experience, and even now, especially when the relationship is new you want to spend every waking moment together, which is normal. But I do try to maintain a balance and maintain my own interests and activities outside of him....so sometimes I do actually go out of my way to keep one activity or outing to just me or me and my friends in order to consciously have that balance.

 

The short of it is: yes someone is boring if they don't have any interests or anything they ever do or can share and talk about outside of their relationship and this can make the relationship end pretty quickly if people realize you do nothing, can talk about nothing, go nowhere except with them.

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I've always found women with a strong identity attractive and interesting. My last girlfriend used to post here. She would go into threads with a very unpopular opinion on a certain topic and passionatly duke it out with people. Sometimes outnumbered 5 or 10 to one. But she didn't care, she was who she was and nobody was going to change her. Didn't take any crap from anyone. Someone I just had to meet. :D

 

I think it's more about an identity than hobbies per se. If I went on a date with a woman and she rambled on about a hobby I didn't care about all night it would be a disaster.

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what about music?

I find music a very good subject to initiate conversation.. do you like anyone in particular?

I dont have a hobbies myself but I like to do stuff like going to gigs or cycling... I normally talk about what I like to do .. even if they are not proper hobbies but it breaks the ice... and then, with the time, you would find something in common... and you take from there.

 

I remember I have dated ( only sex actually ) a guy who loved to watch "come dine with me" so when we met we ate, had sex and watch come dine with me. lol

lasted only 1 season though.

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what about music?

I find music a very good subject to initiate conversation.. do you like anyone in particular?

I dont have a hobbies myself but I like to do stuff like going to gigs or cycling... I normally talk about what I like to do .. even if they are not proper hobbies but it breaks the ice... and then, with the time, you would find something in common... and you take from there.

 

I remember I have dated ( only sex actually ) a guy who loved to watch "come dine with me" so when we met we ate, had sex and watch come dine with me. lol

lasted only 1 season though.

That right there is how you be interesting mad. :laugh: I don't think I've ever heard a story like that before and a lot of women might be prudish and not that honest about a story of that nature. But martal is which makes martal interesting. Totally honest.

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That right there is how you be interesting mad. :laugh: I don't think I've ever heard a story like that before and a lot of women might be prudish and not that honest about a story of that nature. But martal is which makes martal interesting. Totally honest.

 

even too honest sometimes! ;)

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The way she talks, the way she laugh. The way she move. The way she tease me. The way she looks at me. The way she touch me and kiss me. The goofy things she does. They way she reacts to excitement. So how she behaves is what makes a girl interesting.

 

If all the girl does is want to sit, dine and "talk" to get to know one another, doesn't matter what the conversation is about, it's boring.

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thecrucible

I think it depends on your and their personality type. For instance I enjoy reading, antiques, art, country houses, history, camping, opera, genealogy, hiking, running, writing wikipedia articles, keeping a tidy house, cooking and looking after children.

 

So yeah to some I would be considered pretty uncool and boring... :D

 

But I don't know, someone will like me. I actually find that I'm increasingly able to get on with people who are very different from me. I think the ability to relate to others is really important. The more you are able to relate to a diverse range of people, the better for all of your personal relationships.

 

Some people dismiss me as boring because I'm not loud and 'out there' kind of girl but whatever.

 

I'm actually constantly paranoid that men are overlooking me because of my sweet and quiet nature at first glance. I actually swear like a trooper sometimes and am very adventurous.

 

I don't know if that answers the question. To me the most interesting people are those who don't feel they prove themselves to anyone, people who live by their own rules but at the same time are decent people with good morals. I like people who think a lot and can have intellectual conversations. There's probably some guy who digs that somewhere...or let's hope there is or I'm forever alone hahaa :laugh:

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There's probably some guy who digs that somewhere...or let's hope there is or I'm forever alone hahaa :laugh:

 

I'm such a guy. You're definitely my type. :D

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todreaminblue

hav8ign interests in people around you beign observant having something to say, i agree with the other poster who said you are NOT boring.....no one is boring......people are interesting........and some guys have short attention spans and look for greener grass.....

 

 

 

i normally say to a guy when i am unsure whether we are suited.....i am too boring for you........and then try and convince them of that...they laugh.....i know i am not boring and i don't believe anyone is boring..for me its an excuse i use when i am uncertain of my feelings..

 

 

 

stagnant maybe i think people can stagnate i dont believe in placing boredom that i have on another's shoulders as guys are doing to you,placing their boredom as your sole responsibility is a crock.......they find you boring that is their problem not yours they are bored not that you are boring.....they just dont have insight or creativity in their veins on how to get to know you...as another poster said the right guy is not the one you have been with yet.....

 

 

the month mark thing isnt proof undeniable that you are boring, more that you are not meeting that special guy just yet.......i dont have defined hobbies ....i try almost anything once......i love all things that are creative.....you will find your niche too...... just try "stuff" out...smilin atcha....music is also awesome .....and never boring..... neither are you........:0).deb

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