How to overcome the feeling of emptiness in my life?

[itsdinaah]

 

 

 

I've been feeling like this for the past few weeks. It all started when I was forced to break up with my boyfriend over family stuff. Then I had to drop a class because I was failing. I'm also trying to change my major but nothing seems to interest me. It feels like there's nothing I'm good at in life, like I keep failing at everything. I'm not sure what I wanted in my life now I just don't really have the motivation to do anything anymore. Any help?H

[whirl3daway]

sorry to hear about all the bad things going on in your life right now! I'm sure it feels very overwhelming to have all that going on.

 

I've noticed things that help me with that feeling of emptiness are the following:

 

- reading. getting lost in a world full of fantasy helps me a lot.

- hanging out with my cat. she is very loving and sweet and always happy to see me.

- hanging out with my friends. especially the single ones.

- exercise. the release of good feelings helps a lot.

- watching bad TV when the feelings get overwhelming. TV is really good for getting lost in.

- I take pictures as a hobby, so I like going to different places and taking photos.

- journaling your feelings.

- meeting new people! I like people, so meeting new ones and learning about them is always nice.

 

basically I would suggest doing things that you find pleasure in, and treating yourself to doing them. life can be very overwhelming if you only focus on the negatives. you might also want to look into doing some therapy, if you are in school.

 

hope this feeling passes soon.

[Frank2thepoint]

I've been feeling like this for the past few weeks. It all started when I was forced to break up with my boyfriend over family stuff. Then I had to drop a class because I was failing. I'm also trying to change my major but nothing seems to interest me. It feels like there's nothing I'm good at in life, like I keep failing at everything. I'm not sure what I wanted in my life now I just don't really have the motivation to do anything anymore. Any help?H

 

Join the military. Seriously. Yes it's drastic, but you get to zone out for 4+ years, not have to think too much, giving you time to refocus, while keeping busy, and serving your country (I'm assuming you are American). It also helps appreciate some of the everyday things civilians take for granted, such as waking up late, being able to call out sick from work, have choice in the foods you can eat. Plus by being in the military, you get a confidence boost, pride, that you accomplished something very few dare to do. I know I sound like a recruiter, but trust me, it's a good feeling.

[Lokie]

First of all, good for you for reaching out for feedback. I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I have felt similarly, especially when I was in college, and it can feel overwhelming, I know. It can feel like there are so many expectations and so many decisions to make. When seemingly bad things start to pile up, our mood can sink pretty quickly.

 

All I can offer is what I have learned through living through similar times…

 

- Be VERY gentle with yourself right now

- Do something that really pleases you, and do it often

- Take time to feel the feelings, but don't wallow

- And really, really, really take it a day at a time

- Feelings are not facts and they ALWAYS (without fail) shift, so hang in there

 

((Hugs))

 

L.

[somedude81]

Why did you break up with your boyfriend?

[itsdinaah]

 

basically I would suggest doing things that you find pleasure in, and treating yourself to doing them. life can be very overwhelming if you only focus on the negatives. you might also want to look into doing some therapy, if you are in school.

 

hope this feeling passes soon.

 

 

Right now what I'm doing is a lot of writing. Writing letters to my ex (but not sending them), I actually just started a journal of my thoughts and feelings, and I'm working on a few short stories and novels. It keeps me busy while I'm working on it.

 

I think I'll seek the couseling too. I feel like that would be the best decision. I don't know I just kind of feel stuck in life.

[itsdinaah]

First of all, good for you for reaching out for feedback. I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I have felt similarly, especially when I was in college, and it can feel overwhelming, I know. It can feel like there are so many expectations and so many decisions to make. When seemingly bad things start to pile up, our mood can sink pretty quickly.

 

All I can offer is what I have learned through living through similar times…

 

- Be VERY gentle with yourself right now

- Do something that really pleases you, and do it often

- Take time to feel the feelings, but don't wallow

- And really, really, really take it a day at a time

- Feelings are not facts and they ALWAYS (without fail) shift, so hang in there

 

((Hugs))

 

L.

 

Yeah I'm trying to do more things I enjoy. I just feel like I'm stuck in life.

 

Haha I'm trying not to wallow but all I've been doing lately is eating my weight in chocolate and listening to depressing songs.

 

Do you think walks and being alone would help or should I be around more people?

[itsdinaah]

Why did you break up with your boyfriend?

 

My mom wouldn't accept him and I felt we were moving too fast.

[itsdinaah]

Join the military. Seriously. Yes it's drastic, but you get to zone out for 4+ years, not have to think too much, giving you time to refocus, while keeping busy, and serving your country (I'm assuming you are American). It also helps appreciate some of the everyday things civilians take for granted, such as waking up late, being able to call out sick from work, have choice in the foods you can eat. Plus by being in the military, you get a confidence boost, pride, that you accomplished something very few dare to do. I know I sound like a recruiter, but trust me, it's a good feeling.

 

I dont' think I could be in the military. I know it would be good for me in the long run but the thought of it really scares me.

[somedude81]

My mom wouldn't accept him and I felt we were moving too fast.

Do you want to get back together with him?

 

That could be why your life feels empty now.

[shet]

You are depressed. Maybe severely. You are reaching out, which is good. You need to certainly get counselling, change your lifestyle a little, consider antidepressants. Talk to college about deferrals.

 

Get outside exercise in the sun. Specifically schedule social time as often as possible, prevail upon your friends to involve you and tell them what's going on, do not be alone, call people, talk to family. Keeping a journal is a great idea, keep doing that. Find something you enjoy and do it, doesn't matter what, read, play with pets, strategically place banana skins in doorways round town and photograph them, furiously masturbate all day.

 

In time, some months, you'll feel happier about things. Best of luck.

[itsdinaah]

Do you want to get back together with him?

 

That could be why your life feels empty now.

 

Yes I want him back but the relationship ended with no potential of us ever getting back together. I feel like after we broke up, everything else bad started happening too.

[itsdinaah]

You are depressed. Maybe severely. You are reaching out, which is good. You need to certainly get counselling, change your lifestyle a little, consider antidepressants. Talk to college about deferrals.

 

Get outside exercise in the sun. Specifically schedule social time as often as possible, prevail upon your friends to involve you and tell them what's going on, do not be alone, call people, talk to family. Keeping a journal is a great idea, keep doing that. Find something you enjoy and do it, doesn't matter what, read, play with pets, strategically place banana skins in doorways round town and photograph them, furiously masturbate all day.

 

In time, some months, you'll feel happier about things. Best of luck.

 

I called the counseling center at my college, I'm just waiting for them to call me back. I have frequent phases of depression. It's been on/off since I was thirteen.

 

So far I've only talked to my sister about how I feel. I've always been afraid to open to others because I feel like they'll just judge me.

 

I'm trying to find something I love but it seems I have no passion for things anymore.

[somedude81]

Yes I want him back but the relationship ended with no potential of us ever getting back together. I feel like after we broke up, everything else bad started happening too.

That sucks.

 

I actually know exactly how you fee.

 

One month after my ex dumped me, I was formally dismissed from my college and I developed shingles. Bad things just happened to pile on each other.

 

If there is no chance of reconciliation, then it will take time to feel whole again. I'm still not there yet four months after she dumped me.

[itsdinaah]

That sucks.

 

I actually know exactly how you fee.

 

One month after my ex dumped me, I was formally dismissed from my college and I developed shingles. Bad things just happened to pile on each other.

 

If there is no chance of reconciliation, then it will take time to feel whole again. I'm still not there yet four months after she dumped me.

 

 

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

Yeah it sucks when you invested so much time in the relationship. Then the series of bad things that happen just adds to the already depressed mood.

 

How are you doing? Better or still the same? Any tips on how you managed to fight the crappy feeling?

[somedude81]

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

Yeah it sucks when you invested so much time in the relationship. Then the series of bad things that happen just adds to the already depressed mood.

 

How are you doing? Better or still the same? Any tips on how you managed to fight the crappy feeling?

I've been miserable for four months straight.

 

I wish I could give you some tips on how to cope.

 

All I can do is wish you luck.

[shet]

I've had the same experience, more than once. Do the things I said. I know what it's like and how best to fix or try to fix it. Talk to more people about it than just your sister. As Lokie said earlier, reality is highly open to interpretation. Right now you are stuck interpreting it negatively. To feel better all you need is to interpret it positively. Actual reality may not need to change, and it isn't what causes your unhappiness anyway. The way you see it is. You are at college, you are improving yourself, you are young, people love you. That's a good reality.

[itsdinaah]

I've been miserable for four months straight.

 

I wish I could give you some tips on how to cope.

 

All I can do is wish you luck.

 

 

Thank you. I hope everything gets easier for you too.

[itsdinaah]

I've had the same experience, more than once. Do the things I said. I know what it's like and how best to fix or try to fix it. Talk to more people about it than just your sister. As Lokie said earlier, reality is highly open to interpretation. Right now you are stuck interpreting it negatively. To feel better all you need is to interpret it positively. Actual reality may not need to change, and it isn't what causes your unhappiness anyway. The way you see it is. You are at college, you are improving yourself, you are young, people love you. That's a good reality.

 

So I just have to change my outlook in life and start thinking more positively. I have an appointment with a counselor on this Thursday so hopefully that helps.

[shet]

Yes. It will probably take a while to feel like yourself again. Sunlight. Fresh air. Exercise. Friends. Journal. Something nice. If it really is recurring, do consider antidepressants. Don't feel shy about talking to people about it, they will not hate you. I don't hate you, we don't hate you, and we don't even know you.

[kodakgirl]

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling--hugs! I have been there too, where it feels like just everything is falling apart. I've had school, health (physical and mental), love, finances, and general life plans all fall apart at about the same time. It is really hard to deal with; there's no way to deny that.

 

It does sound a lot like you are suffering from depression, and I am very glad you are going to see an counselor. The end of a relationship is always hard. You are grieving. That is okay. You are human. You are a person who feels and cares. It is going to get better. If you can't do it on your own, there are professionals out there who can help you. Never be afraid to admit your feelings or to ask for help. Don't beat yourself up for how you feel.

 

I agree with other posters that you should be really, really nice to yourself right now. There's a time to push yourself and there's a time to be gentle. Be gentle. Focus on even little things that you enjoy. When I was severely depressed one of the only things that made me feel better at all was a hot bath. So I took two or three hot baths a day. If you can even find one thing that works for you even just temporarily, do as much of it as you can. If you can avoid fighting with yourself, do it. If you want two cookies instead of one, have two cookies. If need be you can pick up the slack later; what's important is now, and easing yourself through now.

 

As far as the bigger picture, I absolutely have been there. I thought I was certain what I wanted to do with my life. Then it fell apart and I didn't feel certain at all anymore. I felt I didn't want to do what I'd planned, but I didn't know what I did want. I understand it's not a very good feeling. But you know what? One day, it just clicked. I thought about pursuing something I liked but had never actually considered focusing on before. My life went in a totally different direction than I'd always thought it would-- and now, years on, I could not be happier with it. Three years ago I never thought I'd be living where I am, studying what I am, doing what I am. If my life hadn't fallen apart like it had, I wouldn't be here. And I like here so much that now I feel it was all worth it.

 

I know when you're in it it feels so hard to even hope it will ever change. But it will. Remind yourself it will, even if you don't believe it. Just keep saying it. Because it will.

[itsdinaah]

Thank you all for your kind words and pieces of advice. I would just like to let you know that I am feeling a lot better now. I went to the counseling center at my college and I have to wait a few weeks until I get placed with a therapist. I'm feeling pretty hopeful about that.

 

I finally picked a college major and most of my credits were taken. I'm feeling hopeful about that too.

 

And with the break up I wrote him a letter and sent it to him. Everyone already told me to not send the letter but I felt like I had to send it for myself. I feel like I finally got the closure I wanted and now I'm moving on with my life.

 

I'm taking everything one step at a time. Everything seems to be getting more hopeful and although I still feel sad at time, things are looking up.

 

Thank you all once again. I really appreciate the time you all took to help me.

[itsdinaah]

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling--hugs! I have been there too, where it feels like just everything is falling apart. I've had school, health (physical and mental), love, finances, and general life plans all fall apart at about the same time. It is really hard to deal with; there's no way to deny that.

 

It does sound a lot like you are suffering from depression, and I am very glad you are going to see an counselor. The end of a relationship is always hard. You are grieving. That is okay. You are human. You are a person who feels and cares. It is going to get better. If you can't do it on your own, there are professionals out there who can help you. Never be afraid to admit your feelings or to ask for help. Don't beat yourself up for how you feel.

 

I agree with other posters that you should be really, really nice to yourself right now. There's a time to push yourself and there's a time to be gentle. Be gentle. Focus on even little things that you enjoy. When I was severely depressed one of the only things that made me feel better at all was a hot bath. So I took two or three hot baths a day. If you can even find one thing that works for you even just temporarily, do as much of it as you can. If you can avoid fighting with yourself, do it. If you want two cookies instead of one, have two cookies. If need be you can pick up the slack later; what's important is now, and easing yourself through now.

 

As far as the bigger picture, I absolutely have been there. I thought I was certain what I wanted to do with my life. Then it fell apart and I didn't feel certain at all anymore. I felt I didn't want to do what I'd planned, but I didn't know what I did want. I understand it's not a very good feeling. But you know what? One day, it just clicked. I thought about pursuing something I liked but had never actually considered focusing on before. My life went in a totally different direction than I'd always thought it would-- and now, years on, I could not be happier with it. Three years ago I never thought I'd be living where I am, studying what I am, doing what I am. If my life hadn't fallen apart like it had, I wouldn't be here. And I like here so much that now I feel it was all worth it.

 

I know when you're in it it feels so hard to even hope it will ever change. But it will. Remind yourself it will, even if you don't believe it. Just keep saying it. Because it will.

 

Thank you for your little story. I feel like everyone gets to that point at some point in their lives. Things have been getting better and I'm feeling more optimistic.