Bailey621 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I don't know why but I have such a hard time making friends with women. I have had only two true "besties" in my 50 years. I have many acquaintances, but zero people I can call a friend right now. I have made two long distance moves in the past year, so I know that has something to do with my lack of friendship recently, but it has been an ongoing problem for many years. I am not a bad person! People seem to like me when they meet me (men and women). Most women I meet that are around my age are married and have their own life with their H's and families and already have their established friendships. I am living with a man and have met many people through him, but nobody that I feel I could get close to. He doesn't have any real close friends right now either, but he has many guys he can go and hang out with any night of the week if he wanted to. He is well liked. I have nobody. Just him. I am craving "girl time"! I need a ladies night out . Vent over. Link to post Share on other sites
SadNLonley Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I understand the friendship thing. I have 2 best friends that I can call and rely on at anytime. We have been friends on and off for 25 years. We went years without speaking and once we started again it was like time didnt pass. We knew each other still so well. That being said, only 1 lives in my area. The other lives 4 hours away. It is very difficult making new friends. I have been reaching out to people I used to be friends with and reconnecting. Do you do Facebook? That is how we are reconnecting. Then meeting up for dinner/ drinks/ etc. Another place I signed up for was meetup. com. Im sure you have heard of it somewhere on these boards, but if not its a social groups for people who have the same interests. I live in a big metropolitan area and there are like over 600 groups. Some include running/ hiking/ walking/ entrepreneurs/ sewing/ girls groups/ social groups to meet for dinner or drinks/ there are groups for singles. All kinds of varieties. I have yet to sign up for a meeting cuz Im scared, but I do intend on it. I've heard good things about it. People say that you should not be uncomfortable for not knowing anyone because thats what its all about. Getting out and meeting people. Ive heard some people make friendships outside of the meetup. I know its hard. Good Luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 The older one gets, the harder it is to keep and make new friends. And it's like you said, sometimes ones with families just abandon their friends, which is rude. They act like there's no alternative, but that isn't true. There are people who make friend time with their friends and make sure either their man babysits for it or they hire a sitter. There is no excuse. My good friend with kids has an uncooperative husband but now her eldest son is of the age he can watch the little one for an hour or two, so she suggested we have each other over for dinner just the girls once a month, and that's been great -- and that's how you do it. You pick a date and stick to it and plan around it so you're not both hemming and hawing about it and never get around to it. It is hard making new friends. The best hope for it is to go out and do the things you are most interested in that may bring you in repeated contact with a group of people. Because let's face it, if you meet someone pleasant one day at the zoo, that's not enough to ask them to be friends with you. So maybe you volunteer one day a month at a charity (like the zoo or preferably something you like or feel is worthwile). Maybe you take a night class or a cooking class or sewing class. If it's out of the house like that, you know they are able to make time at least to do that much so it's off to a good start. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 When I was younger, I was really shy, so I didn't have any real close friends. When I was married, all my "friends" were ladies at the church I went to, but nobody was what I'd call a close friend. Since my divorce, I joined Meetup & within the last few years have made a few really good women friends. My area has several women's meetup groups, if you expose yourself to enough people you're bound to form some new friendships. Might also be something to do when your guy goes out with his friends, so you're not sitting home alone P.S. - I don't buy the "it gets harder as we get older" comment (I'm 50), there are a LOT of people out there looking to make connections; some romantic, some just looking for friends. Just recently I realized almost all of my new female friends are in relationships so I'm going to start scouting for some new single women friends. It takes some effort but I think it's easier to find friends than it is dates... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bailey621 Posted February 16, 2014 Author Share Posted February 16, 2014 I understand the friendship thing. I have 2 best friends that I can call and rely on at anytime. We have been friends on and off for 25 years. We went years without speaking and once we started again it was like time didnt pass. We knew each other still so well. That being said, only 1 lives in my area. The other lives 4 hours away. It is very difficult making new friends. I have been reaching out to people I used to be friends with and reconnecting. Do you do Facebook? That is how we are reconnecting. Then meeting up for dinner/ drinks/ etc. Another place I signed up for was meetup. com. Im sure you have heard of it somewhere on these boards, but if not its a social groups for people who have the same interests. I live in a big metropolitan area and there are like over 600 groups. Some include running/ hiking/ walking/ entrepreneurs/ sewing/ girls groups/ social groups to meet for dinner or drinks/ there are groups for singles. All kinds of varieties. I have yet to sign up for a meeting cuz Im scared, but I do intend on it. I've heard good things about it. People say that you should not be uncomfortable for not knowing anyone because thats what its all about. Getting out and meeting people. Ive heard some people make friendships outside of the meetup. I know its hard. Good Luck. Yes, I've heard of meetup.com. Link to post Share on other sites
h3braica Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 i can be a friend 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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