longlegzs80 Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 There is this customer who comes into the bagel place where I work everyonce in awhile and always knows I work there and whatever. So, on Monday the day when I wasn't working, he asked about me. He asked "where is she." And my boss said that she is off and that she is going to miss me. Anywho, my boss told him that I think he is hot. And he said "really", in shock. And then she told me that he was smiling and blushing. Does this mean that this guy is interested in me? him and I talk when he comes into the store, and we smile at eachother and make tons of eye contact. So, you think this guy is interested? I have no freakin clue. But my boss is determined to hook us up. She said that he looked as if he wanted to ask more questions but she said she got a line of people. So whats up with this guy? Help me. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 I think he is definitely interested in you, otherwise why would he be asking about you right? Good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 3, 2004 Author Share Posted June 3, 2004 Okay, if this guy is interested and we talk why doesn't he ask me out? I get it that he is interested, but I still want some reassurance to him being interested. Not sure why, just find it hard to be true for someone to be attracted to me. But maybe he is just being his friendly self. Who knows. What would you think if if your boss told the one guy you are crunching on that you find him to be HOT and he then smiles and blushes? That is showing interest for sure right? Maybe he is just being nice, and don't want to be totally grossed out by the fact that I find him hot. Anyways, need some reassurance or advice or what you think of the whole situation. Thank you. SARAH Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I'd say he is definitely interested from what I've heard. If he was "grossed out" by finding out that you thought he was hot, he probably would have looked awkward and laughed it off, not started smiling and blushing! Since he knows you're interested in him now, from what your boss said, it is possible that he might ask you out the next time he sees you at work. Maybe he was waiting for some kind of clue that you might like to go out sometime. Or - he might just be really shy. Are you prepared to make the first move and ask him out for coffee or something? Cheers. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 3, 2004 Author Share Posted June 3, 2004 He is so so so super sexy. With the way my boss put it, he seemed shocked to hear that I found him to be HOT. I have wanted to talk to him ever since I layed my eyes on him, then I began talking to him from the few times he comes in and it seems like he is at ease with me. I know I am with him, and I find myself smiling more when he comes in, and he kinda teases and it is just all fun. The thing is, I would love to go out for coffee with him if he asks. But what do I say to this guy that I am dating? Do I tell him that this guy asked me out if he asks me out, or do I just see where it leads? How would that work? Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 But what do I say to this guy that I am dating? Well, is it an exclusive relationship? If so, you shouldn't be accepting any invitations for dates. But you don't seem to act like it is. If you've both agreed to see other people, there is no need to tell him you've been asked out by someone else. Unless you decided in the beginning of your relationship that you would. How would that work? You're just dating around, exploring options. If eventually one of these guys seems worth dating exclusively, you'll have to break it off with the guys that falls in as #2. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 3, 2004 Author Share Posted June 3, 2004 the thing is, my boyfriend that I am dating now is kinda obsessive and as much as it was fine at the beginning of our relationship for me to date, now I don't think it would be a good idea. I am all for it if he wants to try out his options. I just feel so tied down in this relationship that I don't know what to do. I would love to venture out and meet others, just if it is a friendship or just meeting others, but he gets jelous. I really feel trapped, but I do care about him. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Anywho, my boss told him that I think he is hot. Please tell your boss never to do this again. This is so junior high. And he said "really", in shock. And then she told me that he was smiling and blushing. Well, duh! How would you react if someone at one of your regular "haunts" told you that one of the employees thought you were hot? I bet you'd blush, too! How embarrassing. Does this mean that this guy is interested in me? Nope. He's interested when he asks you out or asks you for your number, and not a minute before. Why are you stressing about this? He doesn't exist to you right now. He's just a regular customer. But my boss is determined to hook us up. Tell her to butt out and grow up. This is not junior high, and you don't need her to pass him a "do you like longlegsz YES or NO" note. Her getting involved makes you look really juvenile. Okay, if this guy is interested and we talk why doesn't he ask me out? If he was interested, he would. Or he'd ask for your number. IMO, smiling and chatting with you is not a big deal if he regularly comes to the place you work. I talk to a lot of familiar people at my local coffee shop, bagel place, and party store. Doesn't mean I am interested in any of them. But what do I say to this guy that I am dating? Please don't tell me you are still dating that old dude. Please. At any rate, if you are exclusive with him, it would be wrong to go out with another guy. If you are not exclusive, multiple dating is fair game. I just feel so tied down in this relationship that I don't know what to do. Sounds like a great relationship. Why are you doing this to yourself? I don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Maybe, like you, he finds it hard to believe anyone could be attracted to him. So he's apprehensive and shy just like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 3, 2004 Author Share Posted June 3, 2004 I talked to my boss about what she did and asked her why she did that. And she went on to say that I am not commited to this guy I am dating and I should go for it with this other dude. The thing is I don't do that. But it was wrong of her to say that and I agree that it is very immature. But to me, I think he was maybe flattered that I like him so much and to here that comment. Well whatever. I am not worrying about it because after this guy that I am dating ends the relationship whenever, I will be done with men. I can't find anyone that treats me right, right from the get go. And I do feel trapped and just no way of getting out of this relationship. I feel like I have to have a good excuse to dump him because everything has been fine so far in the relationship. So, I don't know what to do. I pretty much have givin up on everything and just wish I would never date again and be lonely and single for the rest of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Is this b/f the same guy who pressured you for sex and got angry when he didn't get it? Why are you waiting for him to dump you? Don't you have any pride? If you're not happy in the relationship -- which it doesn't sound like you are if you're interested in someone else -- dump HIM and move on. You really need to find some self-esteem, and fast! Link to post Share on other sites
amyfrank2442 Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 I think he is very interested and that you should act on this oppritunity! I really dont think you should wait one your boss to tell you what to do I belive your old enough to do that on your own. So ask him to dinner or even lunch to start things off! Hope everything goes great! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 4, 2004 Author Share Posted June 4, 2004 Well, it is the guy who I have had trouble in the past with, and he has changed or I seen only a better side of him since our last argument which was afew months ago. Anyways, I know. I do need some self esteem and I don't have any pride in myself, or even care for myself. Not sure what to say anymore, just really stupid for stupping so low and sticking with him. That is why I am going to go to this group thing, and make it a habit of getting help and talking to others about my problems. Because yeah, I don't care about myself, I don't have self esteem, I don't care about anyone or anything, I just live my life day to day hoping that I could just die off soon. So, whats to say anymore. I know I am making the wrong decision with staying with this guy. I am not happy and I have said it over and over, but don't know how to get away from a guy who is so obsessed over me. Well, thank you to everyone who has replied. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 oh, goodness longlegz. It isn't that hard. Quit taking his calls. There - could anything be simpler? Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 4, 2004 Author Share Posted June 4, 2004 yeah, easier said then done. I am just afraid he might do something to me or my mom or come over and do something to our house. He is obsessed. He don't get it with what I tell him and he doesnt' want to listen. I don';t know. I guess it is a good thing I go to this group and get help. Because I have lost all hope in everything and just don;'t care. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Well whatever. I am not worrying about it because after this guy that I am dating ends the relationship whenever, I will be done with men. This is BS. You wouldn't be on here asking about this new guy if you really felt this way. I can't find anyone that treats me right, right from the get go. How many guys have you dated? You were so desperate for a boyfriend (thinking it would make you happy) that you fell for the first guy who paid attention to you. Just because he turned out to be a loser-a**h*** doesn't mean that every guy out there is. You cannot let this one experience give you this perspective. yeah, easier said then done. No, it isn't. Sit down with him, say "This is not working for me," then stop taking his calls. Block his phone number if you have to. If he continues to harass you, go to the police and get a restraining order. I am just afraid he might do something to me or my mom or come over and do something to our house. Has he given you indication that he might be violent? Or is this just an excuse? He is obsessed. He don't get it with what I tell him and he doesnt' want to listen. But are you following up your words with consistent actions? If you keep taking his calls after you give him the "breakup talk" then you are not being consistent...which leads him to keep on trying. You have to be clear, and I think you aren't being that way. To quote Dr. Phil, what's your payoff for staying in this relationship? There must be one. If you were really that miserable with him, you would find a way to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 I have to add that you continually picture yourself as some poor creature blown about by life. Take control, for heaven's sakes. If you think the guy will do something bad, get a restraining order. I think you are clinging to him out of desperation because you believed a boyfriend would solve all your problems and you still think that will happen. The rest, IMHO, is just excuses. You are getting oral sex - I think you're getting your jollies and that's why you don't want to dump him. Really, longlegz, your life will continue to suck until you actually do something about it and the first thing to do is quit picturing yourself the helpless victim of everything that happens. Develop some balls, for gawdsakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 This isn't the same older guy who asked your boss about you in the pizza place you work is it? You still seeing him (Matress Man?) Anyway, I'm connecting the dots, Longlegz. This has happened already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 6, 2004 Author Share Posted June 6, 2004 Originally posted by clia This is BS. You wouldn't be on here asking about this new guy if you really felt this way. How many guys have you dated? You were so desperate for a boyfriend (thinking it would make you happy) that you fell for the first guy who paid attention to you. Just because he turned out to be a loser-a**h*** doesn't mean that every guy out there is. You cannot let this one experience give you this perspective. Has he given you indication that he might be violent? Or is this just an excuse? But are you following up your words with consistent actions? If you keep taking his calls after you give him the "breakup talk" then you are not being consistent...which leads him to keep on trying. You have to be clear, and I think you aren't being that way. To quote Dr. Phil, what's your payoff for staying in this relationship? There must be one. If you were really that miserable with him, you would find a way to end it. I would not say I was despirate for a boyfriend. I just figured it would be nice to have one and go out and have fun and do what people do in a relationship. I would not take what I said in the past being despirate. But, if that is how you took it, then that is fine. I don;'t want to start any arguements. AS far as how many guys I have dated, I only dated 2 other ones before him. The thing is I am not really into dating and I think it has to do with me being so depressed. WE talked about alot of things and my feelings toward this relationship, and no matter what whether I am with him or single I am still unhappy. That is why I am doing this group thing. I look forward to it just to talk to people who could possibly help me out. And to focus on myself and helping myself out for the good. So, thank you for your help. I know I am not doing the smartest thing with staying in this relationship, but I don't know honestly what I want from the relationship or anything. It has not been bad for the past 3 months or so, and he knows that if he screws up at all with treating me bad or anything that I am out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted June 6, 2004 Author Share Posted June 6, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme I have to add that you continually picture yourself as some poor creature blown about by life. Take control, for heaven's sakes. If you think the guy will do something bad, get a restraining order. I think you are clinging to him out of desperation because you believed a boyfriend would solve all your problems and you still think that will happen. The rest, IMHO, is just excuses. You are getting oral sex - I think you're getting your jollies and that's why you don't want to dump him. Really, longlegz, your life will continue to suck until you actually do something about it and the first thing to do is quit picturing yourself the helpless victim of everything that happens. Develop some balls, for gawdsakes. I totally agree with you as far as how I am clinging to him and it sucks. I know I have to grow some balls and take control of my life. That is one thing I know I have to do and actually do it. I would not say that I picture myself as some poor victim, but I know that I give all the negative stuff and just need to stop that and get help to stop that problem I have. Link to post Share on other sites
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