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Mail-order bride


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Funnily enough earlier today I got a call from my parents and somehow the conversation came back to my total lack of any dating success with women, and my dad suggested trying the whole mail-order bride thing. I simply laughed and dismissed it as a joke, he was actually serious surprisingly.

 

I'm not going to do it (perhaps when I'm 40 and still in the same situation it may look more attractive), though I was curious how does that work? Isn't that just basically extremely long-distance generally online dating with people in developing countries mixed with hefty amounts of scamming to separate you from your money?

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Larry Walker

You have to pay a huge amount of money and then go on a tour to meet the women and bring her back here if it works.

 

I found a hot foreign wife here in the States. They are everywhere in my location. I found a hot, sweet loving wife and didn't have to leave on some tour to another country.

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KraftDinner

Appropriately, there is now a FilipinoCupid ad in this thread. Made me laugh.

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Larry Walker
Appropriately, there is now a FilipinoCupid ad in this thread. Made me laugh.

 

 

I highly recommend a Peruvian woman. They are awesome.

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Guy right down the street. His dad is a very elderly retired doctor. The son is in his 40s, very nice, sociable, geeky guy. An engineer. His wife is a doll, English not perfect, but fun, warm. Great hostess.

 

I was invited to a neighborly cocktail party at their home. The couple live with the elderly dad. Nice family, beautiful home. Been in the community forever.

At the party , talking to the wife about travel. She looks Asian to me so I'm thinking she is probably in the biogenetics department over at the U.

 

She told me, straight up, she was well traveled because she had always been a cleaning woman or a nanny. Mail order bride.

 

Really nice very happy couple.

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Larry Walker
Guy right down the street. His dad is a very elderly retired doctor. The son is in his 40s, very nice, sociable, geeky guy. An engineer. His wife is a doll, English not perfect, but fun, warm. Great hostess.

 

I was invited to a neighborly cocktail party at their home. The couple live with the elderly dad. Nice family, beautiful home. Been in the community forever.

At the party , talking to the wife about travel. She looks Asian to me so I'm thinking she is probably in the biogenetics department over at the U.

 

She told me, straight up, she was well traveled because she had always been a cleaning woman or a nanny. Mail order bride.

 

Really nice very happy couple.

 

I guarantee that guy will never be on here complaining about problems with his wife. Neither will I for that matter.

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Most sites you see online are a scam.

 

There actually are 'mail-order brides' - ie women who will marry you for a passport - but that is usually done much more discreetly so as not to be found out by immigration.

 

Either way, yes, you will be paying a hefty amount of money for little gain. Even if the bride was real, in the majority of cases they leave once they are able to.

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Larry Walker
Most sites you see online are a scam.

 

There actually are 'mail-order brides' - ie women who will marry you for a passport - but that is usually done much more discreetly so as not to be found out by immigration.

 

They will just leave you as soon as she gets citizenship.

 

the best thing to do it find a foreign girl here in the States, get to know them and date like you would any other girl. If there are no foreign women where you live, maybe you should move.

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She told me, straight up, she was well traveled because she had always been a cleaning woman or a nanny. Mail order bride.

 

This is a pretty big jump to arrive at. :confused: Are you sure you know what a mail order bride is? Hint: They don't meet prior to being 'bought'. The couple you are talking about sounds like they met and dated while she was working in his locality. Certainly there might be ulterior motives, but it is pretty offensive to assume simply due to the discrepancy in race and profession.

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Two of my brothers have foreign wives. I know almost nothing about how the transactions started.

 

One brother, after 3 failed marriages, wound up with a wife from Russia. Observing them from afar, it almost looks like business partners living together. Everything seems to be "his" and "hers": his car/her car; his bank account/her bank account; his home office/her home office; etc.

 

The other brother, after two failed marriages and living with two other women, got a Phillipine wife. She's very sexy and hot looking . . . and about 25 years younger than he is.

 

My own "mail order bride" is a girl I was introduced to by a MUCH older (my parents' age) mutual friend. I was 21, and somewhat despairing of ever having a girlfriend, when my wife's aunt suggested that I should meet her niece. Of course, she never said so but she thought there were compatibility factors between us. (She certainly never suggested that I should date her own daughter, who was in my High School class.)

 

There was a distance problem, so we ended up writing to each other for over 3 months before we really knew what each other looked like. Real letters, on real paper (or sometimes a friendship card) - every two or three days. No phone calls, text messages, etc. (Pay attention here.) In retrospect, writing was a great way for two quiet-and-shy people to become very acquainted on a personal level.

 

We DID meet in person - first date - first kiss (and she REALLY kissed!) - and one year plus two weeks after first laying eyes on each other we were married. Still are - almost 39 years later.

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KraftDinner
They will just leave you as soon as she gets citizenship.

 

the best thing to do it find a foreign girl here in the States, get to know them and date like you would any other girl. If there are no foreign women where you live, maybe you should move.

 

You're right about the citizenship. Sad thing is, a lot of guys think they're getting a nice submissive innocent woman (don't get me started on that) but more often than not the women are just looking to better their situations and will move on when they can. Can't say I blame them but sucks for the guys.

 

I'm a reporter and I spend part of my workweek at the courthouse next to the line where people file for divorces...and more than half of the women there arrived in the country, married, got citizenship, and are now filing. I hear it over and over and over again.

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This is a pretty big jump to arrive at. :confused: Are you sure you know what a mail order bride is? Hint: They don't meet prior to being 'bought'. The couple you are talking about sounds like they met and dated while she was working in his locality. Certainly there might be ulterior motives, but it is pretty offensive to assume simply due to the discrepancy in race and profession.

 

No she used the term " mail order bride". She said they wrote letters through an agency for a year. He came to meet her once.

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This is a pretty big jump to arrive at. :confused: Are you sure you know what a mail order bride is? Hint: They don't meet prior to being 'bought'. The couple you are talking about sounds like they met and dated while she was working in his locality. Certainly there might be ulterior motives, but it is pretty offensive to assume simply due to the discrepancy in race and profession.

 

And if I was offensive it was in assuming she worked as a professor at the university. But I only did that because many of the other guests did.

 

How on earth are you able to find slight in what I posted? Guess you really wanted to.

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You're right about the citizenship. Sad thing is, a lot of guys think they're getting a nice submissive innocent woman (don't get me started on that) but more often than not the women are just looking to better their situations and will move on when they can. Can't say I blame them but sucks for the guys.

 

I'm a reporter and I spend part of my workweek at the courthouse next to the line where people file for divorces...and more than half of the women there arrived in the country, married, got citizenship, and are now filing. I hear it over and over and over again.

 

Yep that's how it generally goes, sometimes if you let them you never even marry but get your money taken away anyway.

 

Saw a documentary about this before, pretty sad how the guys think they are getting a beautiful wife when really they are just providing passage into America and free money.

 

That's why I would never do it.

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The way America's economy is low now, and how these "developing countries" economy is booming, I can foresee American agencies sending American mail order brides there very soon, lol.

 

Get real guys... Most people don't even want to come to America anymore. No money, no work, no jobs here! :(

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Larry Walker
The way America's economy is low now, and how these "developing countries" economy is booming, I can foresee American agencies sending American mail order brides there very soon, lol.

 

Get real guys... Most people don't even want to come to America anymore. No money, no work, no jobs here! :(

 

This is not true.. there are thousands of young foreign women coming here on VISAs every day. That's how I met my wife. In my area they are everywhere... think Nations Capital.

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KraftDinner
The way America's economy is low now, and how these "developing countries" economy is booming, I can foresee American agencies sending American mail order brides there very soon, lol.

 

Get real guys... Most people don't even want to come to America anymore. No money, no work, no jobs here! :(

 

I know a girl from Thailand...back home she and her family lived in a one-room house with a dirt floor.

 

Don't kid yourself -- there is abject poverty out there so bad that the thought of coming to N. America seems like a dream come true.

 

(And a lot of times they are severely disappointed, which is sometimes partly because the 'nice' guy is actually an insecure abusive ass.)

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Guys... Do you know the meaning of sarcasm? :p

 

Sarcasm apart, the country I lived before is booming and I can tell you: coming to America is NOT most people's dream anymore as it used to be... they actually come here to shop as they have so much money now. Obviously there will always be poor countries where people are still desperate. But the world dynamics IS changing this can't be denied.

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Appropriately, there is now a FilipinoCupid ad in this thread. Made me laugh.

 

The tours to meet the line up of women are illegal in the Philippines in their agencies you are buying a list of potential initial email contacts.

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This is a pretty big jump to arrive at. :confused: Are you sure you know what a mail order bride is? Hint: They don't meet prior to being 'bought'. The couple you are talking about sounds like they met and dated while she was working in his locality. Certainly there might be ulterior motives, but it is pretty offensive to assume simply due to the discrepancy in race and profession.

That is the classic definition from two centuries ago. Today in popular slang it means any bride met, normally online from a foriegn nation. And most nations immigration laws make it impossible unless the groom is also from the same culture and that culture has no dating or even meeting of a betrothed couple.

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Yep that's how it generally goes, sometimes if you let them you never even marry but get your money taken away anyway.

 

Saw a documentary about this before, pretty sad how the guys think they are getting a beautiful wife when really they are just providing passage into America and free money.

 

That's why I would never do it.

I saw a mockumentary Mail Order Brides, I think Mail Order Bride is a major studio movie. A doorman writes in his letters that he is in redal estate and security. He picks a girl from Thailand and the agency flies her to New York where the marry on the way from the airport to his apartment. Sure it breaks all immigration laws but that is the public image of "mail order brides".

 

In the end he wanted to use his wife for homemade pornos while she just wanted to collect figures of pigs because pigs meant prosperity in her Thai village. Eventually she left and some guy feeling sorry for her eventually tries to cheat on his wife with her. In the end he finds out that while she was cute her Thai ways were incompatable with his middle class New Yorker life.

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thefooloftheyear
You're right about the citizenship. Sad thing is, a lot of guys think they're getting a nice submissive innocent woman (don't get me started on that) but more often than not the women are just looking to better their situations and will move on when they can. Can't say I blame them but sucks for the guys.

 

I'm a reporter and I spend part of my workweek at the courthouse next to the line where people file for divorces...and more than half of the women there arrived in the country, married, got citizenship, and are now filing. I hear it over and over and over again.

 

True,,,

 

My insurance guy did this...He's in his mid 40's and has had no luck with women..I dont know what it is..He's a bit nerdy, but he couldnt get laid in a whorehouse on dollar night...Anyway, out of desperation he paid a service and married a pretty Korean woman. They have been together for a few years and had a baby girl. I have noticed something though.. In the last year she has started to look less demure and more tarty. We are all wondering when the time will come that she wants out. They look positively mismatched at this point.

 

TFY

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Hmm... maybe these guys wouldn't have to go in for mail order brides if they'd stop acting all butthurt just because most women won't give them a sex fix???

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outsidethebox

There's a lot of misinformation in this thread, as usual, from guys. It's like they just repeat stuff they have heard and have no idea what they're talking about. The other guys and girls here with some knowledge and experience, good posts.

 

Speaking from a US perspective, marrying a foreign woman is driven strictly by immigration requirements, specifically the fiance visa. It's fairly rare that a woman (as in mail order bride) from typical US foreign marriage countries has the money to make a trip to the US, and even if they did I have seen some information that US does not grant a visa to a young woman to travel to US without a sponsor, such as say school, work, etc. Or at least it's pretty difficult to get one for a visit is the way it's put.

 

The expense involved is a trip to a foreign country to meet women in person, a US immigration requirement. There is no such thing as getting around immigration visa requirements as one poster stated., other than obviously being an illegal immigrant and sneaking into the country.

 

I can't speak to "most" firms that deal with this because the internet is full of scam artists, and I suppose our esteemed posters are counting them. However there are a few legitimate operations that conduct tours to designated countries to act as translators and arrange socials to meet women, and their web sites have the women you can choose to communicate with to decide whether to visit and meet.

 

Any additional loss of money is due to so many American men being stupid, which the rest of us and most of the world can count on unfortunately. The world's scam artists take billions from Americans every year appealing to sheer greed and stupidity. And that will never end.

 

Typical scam in this arena is a "woman" (scam artists are usually men) who says she needs money for any number of things related to seeing you, examples being need to buy a plane ticket, need a medical procedure before meeting you, need help with their mother who has an emergency taken care of before they can leave, and if you really love them, and on and on. Bottom line is not to send money to someone in a foreign country. Seems simple, but like I said, we're talking about American men here.

 

As for divorce rate, it's tracked by the legitimate agencies of their former clients and is information they care about and will provide you. If you marry someone much younger, say in 50's marrying a 22 year old, then you can pretty much figure if life is not really good for her by time she gets citizenship, if she figures she can find something better don't be surprised if she leaves you. By the way, applies to any woman. Just freakin common sense.

 

If you're as stupid as some who think they have a sex slave and treat them like that, they will call the police and get free of you sooner.

 

Now if you're a normal, rational guy, there are thousands upon thousands of women in these countries that would love to move to US or other western countries. And if you get to know them well enough like any dating, you can have a good relationship like with any woman.

 

But unlike the situation in US, there are women that appeal to you that will actually talk to you versus a typical on line dating experience for men.

 

I have never done this but I have looked into enough to know what I'm talking about. Since I never did anything about it all these years it's pretty much a certainty that won't change.

 

If I didn't address any of the other misinformation, I'll clear it up if I see any more of it.

Edited by outsidethebox
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There's a lot of misinformation in this thread, as usual, from guys. It's like they just repeat stuff they have heard and have no idea what they're talking about. The other guys and girls here with some knowledge and experience, good posts.

 

Speaking from a US perspective, marrying a foreign woman is driven strictly by immigration requirements, specifically the fiance visa. It's fairly rare that a woman (as in mail order bride) from typical US foreign marriage countries has the money to make a trip to the US, and even if they did I have seen some information that US does not grant a visa to a young woman to travel to US without a sponsor, such as say school, work, etc. Or at least it's pretty difficult to get one for a visit is the way it's put.

 

The expense involved is a trip to a foreign country to meet women in person, a US immigration requirement. There is no such thing as getting around immigration visa requirements as one poster stated., other than obviously being an illegal immigrant and sneaking into the country.

 

I can't speak to "most" firms that deal with this because the internet is full of scam artists, and I suppose our esteemed posters are counting them. However there are a few legitimate operations that conduct tours to designated countries to act as translators and arrange socials to meet women, and their web sites have the women you can choose to communicate with to decide whether to visit and meet.

 

Any additional loss of money is due to so many American men being stupid, which the rest of us and most of the world can count on unfortunately. The world's scam artists take billions from Americans every year appealing to sheer greed and stupidity. And that will never end.

 

Typical scam in this arena is a "woman" (scam artists are usually men) who says she needs money for any number of things related to seeing you, examples being need to buy a plane ticket, need a medical procedure before meeting you, need help with their mother who has an emergency taken care of before they can leave, and if you really love them, and on and on. Bottom line is not to send money to someone in a foreign country. Seems simple, but like I said, we're talking about American men here.

 

As for divorce rate, it's tracked by the legitimate agencies of their former clients and is information they care about and will provide you. If you marry someone much younger, say in 50's marrying a 22 year old, then you can pretty much figure if life is not really good for her by time she gets citizenship, if she figures she can find something better don't be surprised if she leaves you. By the way, applies to any woman. Just freakin common sense.

 

If you're as stupid as some who think they have a sex slave and treat them like that, they will call the police and get free of you sooner.

 

Now if you're a normal, rational guy, there are thousands upon thousands of women in these countries that would love to move to US or other western countries. And if you get to know them well enough like any dating, you can have a good relationship like with any woman.

 

But unlike the situation in US, there are women that appeal to you that will actually talk to you versus a typical on line dating experience for men.

 

I have never done this but I have looked into enough to know what I'm talking about. Since I never did anything about it all these years it's pretty much a certainty that won't change.

 

If I didn't address any of the other misinformation, I'll clear it up if I see any more of it.

 

So, basically like I said isn't this essentially the same as "regular" online dating except you are generally dealing with poorer women a long distance away, and just with more scamming, far more expensive RL dates, and of course more gold-digging and more language barriers?

 

Not sure why this seems like an attractive option to the guys who go through with it.

Edited by Necris
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