Rejected

[ByShine]

Hi I'm the guy who posted this

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/347599-weird

 

and just a follow up.

 

I took the "coffee route" and asked her to go for coffee after class.

Talk about bad timing, she was walking out with her friend to get coffee but I stopped her anyway and asked her friend if I could talk to her just for a second.

That's when I asked if she wanted to go for coffee and she replied "sorry I was just going to get coffee with my friend"

 

I don't know if this is a no, or just bad timing, or just a no. At the end of the day, it was a no, but she was really getting coffee with her friend, so is it a no?

 

To be honest, I asked people if it is a smart idea to ask again, some people replied "no you're gonna look desperate" some people replied "just bad timing"

and some have said "don't give up on her"

 

I don't know what my next step is, or what is the best step

I been going to class as if nothing is wrong and nothing ever happened

 

Just to remind you, Me and her are complete strangers, we've just seen each other in class.

It won't kill me to move on, because I don't like her, I'm just interested in her.

There is very slight pain that she said no (my pride went out the building when I heard that) but really It was pretty much gone after an hour or so.

So it won't kill me to move on, but something tells me that ending it like this is too quick

 

Pretty confused what to do.

[todreaminblue]

Hi I'm the guy who posted this

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/347599-weird

 

and just a follow up.

 

I took the "coffee route" and asked her to go for coffee after class.

Talk about bad timing, she was walking out with her friend to get coffee but I stopped her anyway and asked her friend if I could talk to her just for a second.

That's when I asked if she wanted to go for coffee and she replied "sorry I was just going to get coffee with my friend"

 

I don't know if this is a no, or just bad timing, or just a no. At the end of the day, it was a no, but she was really getting coffee with her friend, so is it a no?

 

To be honest, I asked people if it is a smart idea to ask again, some people replied "no you're gonna look desperate" some people replied "just bad timing"

and some have said "don't give up on her"

 

I don't know what my next step is, or what is the best step

I been going to class as if nothing is wrong and nothing ever happened

 

Just to remind you, Me and her are complete strangers, we've just seen each other in class.

It won't kill me to move on, because I don't like her, I'm just interested in her.

There is very slight pain that she said no (my pride went out the building when I heard that) but really It was pretty much gone after an hour or so.

So it won't kill me to move on, but something tells me that ending it like this is too quick

 

Pretty confused what to do.

 

I havent had rejection a lot because i am not one to ask first normally but i would say the last time hurt more than the first, i truly believe its something that hurts no matter how many times it happens....so it affects everyone...i do bounce but it hits hard enough for me to feel it so i do understand it hit your pride....a female perspective for you.....if i was walking out with a friend and i already had plans for coffee or lunch or whatever I would not ditch my friend even if i did like the guy.....i would say i have plans already can we do it another time .......i have been asked at a club to leave with someone and i declined because i was there with a friend i go home with that friend i came with....its just manners....and the fact you dont ditch people who are your friends.....

 

 

shouldnt really ditch anyone.......that you make plans with....i have only done this when i have double booked...i have to re organise because i am forgetful.....my friends realise this....i would never ditch on purpose......and i always reschedule i should keep a calendar that doesn't exist in my head lose track of days up there....i would if i were you catch her by herself next time if you are going to ask again I feel that you should in my opinion......

 

 

when you said you dont like her(personally i wouldnt want to have coffee with someone i didnt like it would be uncomfortable) but you are interested in her you are basically wanting to get to know her, so i dont read any desperation there so go for it and good luck......deb

[ByShine]

BTW I know what it is like to have crushes in college. lol. (read my threads for more details). Just talk to her though and see how things go. Just randomly going up to her and asking her to get cofee with you is kind of weird. Think of it this way... If a random girl in your class (that you didn't talk to at all, and the semester is more than half way over) just randomly came up to you and asked you to grab a drink, how would feel? You would probably think to yourself "this is odd". You need to talk to her a little bit first and then ask her.

 

Um I already asked her though.

 

My question is,

do I just end it here and move on

or go at it one more time?

[Avulare]

It's a no. From the way you phrased it, her response sounded abrupt and she didn't offer any alternatives for when she would want to meet up with you - both signs that she's not interested.

 

If that's not the case and she actually is interested, she'll approach you about it later or otherwise drop hints that you should talk to her again.

[Hawaii50]

It's a no. From the way you phrased it, her response sounded abrupt and she didn't offer any alternatives for when she would want to meet up with you - both signs that she's not interested.

 

If that's not the case and she actually is interested, she'll approach you about it later or otherwise drop hints that you should talk to her again.

 

^ what she said, because if she didn't offer even a "maybe another time etc.." means she wasn't interested.. But this is also where you have to be witty enough to spin whatever she's saying, or the situation in general (you having bad timing) into something laughable. My experience.

[ByShine]

It's a no. From the way you phrased it, her response sounded abrupt and she didn't offer any alternatives for when she would want to meet up with you - both signs that she's not interested.

 

If that's not the case and she actually is interested, she'll approach you about it later or otherwise drop hints that you should talk to her again.

 

Whats hints could she possibly drop?

[mammasita]

I agree, If it were me, I would have immediately followed with "maybe another time" or even suggested another time myself.

 

That said, the eternal optimist, glass is half full in me would ask just one more time.

[ByShine]

If i do it one more time i might end up looking like a total dumbass if her intentions were really not interested but its a good way to confirm it i guess

 

Or i could keep acting like nothing has happened and wait for a hint or something

I guess those two are my options and neither looks promising

 

This girl was my reality check for sure

[spiderowl]

If she was just about to go for coffee with her friend, it was just bad timing. She couldn't drop her friend to go with you and she couldn't really ask you along too as she doesn't know you yet and her friend might have felt put out.

 

Given that you asked her to coffee, she would have had chance now to think about it and whether she'd like to meet up with you. So, I would suggest you ask her if she'd like to go for coffee some time (rather than now) and, if she says yes, then ask for her number or email address so you can contact her later. If she says no, you have you answer. I think there's still everything to play for though.

[aMguilts]

hey ByShine

 

it was bad timing and not a brush off IMO.

 

Personally i think you are trying too hard.

Say "HI" to her everyday( with a big smile) for a week and leave it at that. Don`t look at her, do nothing.

Be aloof

[ByShine]

Thanks guys but i been going to class as if nothing has happened and never even looked at her once

but really i think im going to call it with this girl. Im not gonna ask one more time. If nothing happens then nothing happens. If something does happen ill create a follow up thread