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Why doesn't he want to be my friend anymore?


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I am feeling low. I had a work related relationship with a guy for about a year. Talked on the phone, met to discuss business, etc. We really like one another and started to become good friends, I thought. He moved away and we both agreed we would stay in touch. We had so much in common (thoughts, interests, etc.)! After he left I really missed our friendship.

 

We are both in our late 40's, and game playing (I thought) was in the past. Important to know: We never had a sexual relationship or even a meaningful kiss.

 

We emailed each other and wished each other well. In the em it came out that there was a bit of an attraction on both of our sides but we laughed it off. There was, however, much platonic affection.

 

I was in a committed relationship during our friendship, which he knew. Well, I got married and told him in an email. He emailed and wished the best for me. I emailed back and then it was as if I had a disease. No more emails. I feel bad that I have lost a friend but I don't want to email him until he responds to mine. It's been a few months now and not a word.

 

Why has he just stopped wanting to be my friend? I'm beginning to think we were never really friends at all. :(

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Hard to say, I personally have that happen to me a lot, where people just disappear, some of my best friends have, so try to just move on.

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hm...based on what you said, it's possible he had feelings for you more than a friend, that might be why he decided if he cant be your SO, then just cut contact.

 

or...the other case, since he sees you're getting married, he doesnt feel like he should keep contact w/you since doesnt want the husband to misinterpret friendship for a guy that's trying to steal his wife. This relates to couples that arent married too, for example...a guy is a friend w/a girl who's in a relationship...but just wont stick around cause he doesnt want to seem annoying or bugging the couple.

 

you get the picture

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Thanks, guys. I really appreciate your input.

 

I guess it didn't occur to me that he might not want my friendship because he wanted more. He did admit once that he was attracted to me but aren't guys always sexually attracted to attractive women? He knew I was "taken" and respected that.

 

My husband and I both have men and women friends and we are fine with it. We don't always share the same opinions, interests, hobbies, tastes, etc. I think we both would be missing so much if we put such restrictions on each other. There is a whole world of people out there to enjoy and to make our lives richer.

 

Should I try one more time or forget it? I did say in last em that I would like to remain friends. I will miss him. :(

If so, should I explain that he wouldn't be bugging me/us at all?

 

Would like your opinions. Thanks!

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Go for it, it cant hurt, you could even say that if he ever wants to be your friend again, you will have him back.

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