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I no longer believe in the one.


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DreamerGirl27

If there was one, I would have met him by now and I have a confusing sense of attractiveness. They're either all cute, so I don't know how to pick one and I end up going after the one that I think is above all the rest. Or... they're all ugly and I don't want to have anything to do with any of them.

 

I was so hung up on my friend and I felt like we clicked and he didn't feel the same and I flat out do not have any other guys talking to me right now.

 

So, I felt like, since he is the only one talking to me and I find him more attractive than any other guy I've met, that should be enough. But it's not.

 

So, "the one". Does he really exist? I don't think so. Not anymore.

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shadowofman

If women had a "one", he would be the prince of Disneyland.

 

I don't believe in the one either. I believe in the many.

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DreamerGirl27
If women had a "one", he would be the prince of Disneyland.

 

I don't believe in the one either. I believe in the many.

 

Ew, no, he would be a rock star. With long hair and scruffiness and sexiness. He just wouldn't be a promiscuous bastard.

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I don't think there is just one person out there for everyone. There are millions of people out there and I'm sure we would be compatible with hundreds if given the chance.

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BiscuitXOXO

I believe we are all compatible with many (unless you are superstar unique like Mrlonelyone in the Dating section lawls). However, we do have people who we are meant to be with and to meet, imo. God's plan and all that.

 

Btw, you have ignored all my posts concerning you. I'd like to think that I'm not spouting nonsense; some feedback would be nice. kthnxbai. :bunny:

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Ms. Joolie
Well, there might actually be ONE guy like that. Haha.

 

haha. ...Don't Stop Believin', dreamergirl!!

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I think that for me, there are numerous suitable partners out there. I think you get to basically choose from the ones who are on your vibration. So, it's about working out where you are in the first instance... then you make the one chosen, the one.

 

Take care,

Eve x

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EyesWideOpen

I honestly believe that "the one" is an ideal that is pushed on us by media (I blame Disney for my unrealistic hair expectations – lol!), and cultural traditions largely based on patriarchal histories. I've had two men in my life that I completely and whole-heartedly believed were "the one". But looking back, I realize that they were never right for me (love is VERY blinding), and had I continued along those paths I would've likely had a lifetime of frustration and unhappiness. Love simply doesn't make people compatible. And my holding on to idealistic fantasies served no purpose for me at all. In retrospect I realize how naïve the concepts of the one, destined to be, and what not were.

 

It's a bittersweet realization...but it's an important one. Once you get past the fantasy of "the one" (or similar idealogies) and start looking at men you meet and grow close to from the perspective of could-this-work? and are-we-compatible?...it makes it so much easier to find happiness in yourself and to avoid the unnecessary heartache of finding yourself disillusioned.

 

 

My advice to anyone is to focus on finding happiness within yourself, your life, your friends and your family – rather than finding love. The rest will work itself out

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Disillusioned

DG27, you've made your point.

 

Now please either follow my example and buy a Realdoll so you can stop complaining, or else stop lamenting about your loneliness, because it really is annoying.

 

If you can't spring the $7K for a male Realdoll, then at least spend $300 for a top-quality department store mannequin.

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DreamerGirl27

I can post as much and whatever and whenever I want, thank you very much. If you don't like, DON'T READ IT. And most certainly, don't RESPOND to it, dingle dorf.

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Ross MwcFan
I can post as much and whatever and whenever I want, thank you very much. If you don't like, DON'T READ IT. And most certainly, don't RESPOND to it, dingle dorf.

 

Dingle dorf? :laugh:

 

Dreamergirl, why would you not want to have anything to do with an ugly person?

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I can post as much and whatever and whenever I want, thank you very much. If you don't like, DON'T READ IT. And most certainly, don't RESPOND to it, dingle dorf.

 

I think "dingle dorf" may be the one for you, :D

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Isn't he the head master of warty hog from that children's novel?

 

I thought it was DREAMGIRLS pet name for Disillusioned.

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HeavenOrHell

Maybe guys don't go much for you as you come across as shallow, on the other hand you'd be a perfect match for the shallow guys out there and there's plenty of those.

I'm guessing you're a teenager or early 20's as you sound like you've no clue what makes a good r/ship or what love is about.

Maybe if you start concentrating on what a person's personality is rather that how attractive their looks are you might get somewhere, (assuming you have some thoughtfulness and kindness somewhere within you), r/ships won't work if they're based on looks alone. How would you feel if you were what you call 'ugly' and men/boys wanted nothing to do with you?

No, I don't think 'the one' exists, I think we can have more than one 'the one' in a lifetime, I've had more than one love of my life, one was for nearly 20 years, another was 6 months, my other partners weren't loves of my life although I loved them, loves of your life are different and much more special and harder to find.

 

 

If there was one, I would have met him by now and I have a confusing sense of attractiveness. They're either all cute, so I don't know how to pick one and I end up going after the one that I think is above all the rest. Or... they're all ugly and I don't want to have anything to do with any of them.

 

I was so hung up on my friend and I felt like we clicked and he didn't feel the same and I flat out do not have any other guys talking to me right now.

 

So, I felt like, since he is the only one talking to me and I find him more attractive than any other guy I've met, that should be enough. But it's not.

 

So, "the one". Does he really exist? I don't think so. Not anymore.

Edited by HeavenOrHell
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DreamerGirl27
Maybe guys don't go much for you as you come across as shallow, on the other hand you'd be a perfect match for the shallow guys out there and there's plenty of those.

I'm guessing you're a teenager or early 20's as you sound like you've no clue what makes a good r/ship or what love is about.

Maybe if you start concentrating on what a person's personality is rather that how attractive their looks are you might get somewhere, (assuming you have some thoughtfulness and kindness somewhere within you), r/ships won't work if they're based on looks alone. How would you feel if you were what you call 'ugly' and men/boys wanted nothing to do with you?

No, I don't think 'the one' exists, I think we can have more than one 'the one' in a lifetime, I've had more than one love of my life, one was for nearly 20 years, another was 6 months, my other partners weren't loves of my life although I loved them, loves of your life are different and much more special and harder to find.

 

I happen to be 26 and very mature for my age and I do know what love is about, but I'm not going to go after someone I don't find physically attractive. How would you like it if someone found you ugly but "gave you a chance" and still finds you ugly at the end of the day? It is not shallow to want to be attracted to your mate, just as it is not shallow to put on makeup and doll yourself up like girls do. If looks didn't matter, then nobody would shower, buy nice clothes, do their hair, dye their hair, put on makeup, etc., etc., etc. People care about looks, bottom line. I'm not saying I have to find a super model, but at the end of the day, if I look at my future husband and I think he has a face only a mother could love, that's going to affect our relationship in a negative way. I'm not going to lie to myself and "give someone a chance" when they are so beyond what I find attractive it's not even funny and a lot of people fall under that category to me.

 

I also happen to have a baby face and a 12 year old's body (when I'm my thinnest) and people like people that look like them.

 

I know what I want and I will not settle for anything less.

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Disillusioned

*sigh* Well then, I guess if all else fails, you could take a few hostages and threaten to shoot them unless some prospective bfs step forward.

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Ross MwcFan
I happen to be 26 and very mature for my age and I do know what love is about, but I'm not going to go after someone I don't find physically attractive. How would you like it if someone found you ugly but "gave you a chance" and still finds you ugly at the end of the day? It is not shallow to want to be attracted to your mate, just as it is not shallow to put on makeup and doll yourself up like girls do. If looks didn't matter, then nobody would shower, buy nice clothes, do their hair, dye their hair, put on makeup, etc., etc., etc. People care about looks, bottom line. I'm not saying I have to find a super model, but at the end of the day, if I look at my future husband and I think he has a face only a mother could love, that's going to affect our relationship in a negative way. I'm not going to lie to myself and "give someone a chance" when they are so beyond what I find attractive it's not even funny and a lot of people fall under that category to me.

 

I also happen to have a baby face and a 12 year old's body (when I'm my thinnest) and people like people that look like them.

 

I know what I want and I will not settle for anything less.

 

You said you wouldn't want anything to do with someone who is ugly. You talk as though you wouldn't even give an ugly person the time of day, and as though you think they're less than you.

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I thought it was DREAMGIRLS pet name for Disillusioned.

 

To quote Mr. T, I pity the fool.

 

Don't give me no jibber jabber, foo'.

 

:lmao::lmao: You fellas are on today.

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HeavenOrHell

To me, a person isn't 'ugly' if they have a beautiful personality.

I wouldn't go out with someone in the first place if they thought I was ugly and were 'giving me a chance', I mean what sort of person is so up themselves that they'd ever think of someone as beneath them or out of their league, ugh, THAT is ugly.

Yes most of us care how we look and like to feel attractive, but some of us take that to the extreme and place too much importance on it and lose sight of what really matters.

I find my partner's looks attractive in that I love the warmth in his eyes, and the expressions on his face, and the way he smiles, and the way he looks at me lovingly or sexily, that's all an outer expression of his wonderful personality.

Yes all men want women who have a 12 year old's body and a baby face :rolleyes: All men like exactly the same type of women, same as all women like exactly the same type of men. :rolleyes:

You don't come across as mature.

Try getting off your high horse sometime and get in the real world.

 

 

I happen to be 26 and very mature for my age and I do know what love is about, but I'm not going to go after someone I don't find physically attractive. How would you like it if someone found you ugly but "gave you a chance" and still finds you ugly at the end of the day? It is not shallow to want to be attracted to your mate, just as it is not shallow to put on makeup and doll yourself up like girls do. If looks didn't matter, then nobody would shower, buy nice clothes, do their hair, dye their hair, put on makeup, etc., etc., etc. People care about looks, bottom line. I'm not saying I have to find a super model, but at the end of the day, if I look at my future husband and I think he has a face only a mother could love, that's going to affect our relationship in a negative way. I'm not going to lie to myself and "give someone a chance" when they are so beyond what I find attractive it's not even funny and a lot of people fall under that category to me.

 

I also happen to have a baby face and a 12 year old's body (when I'm my thinnest) and people like people that look like them.

 

I know what I want and I will not settle for anything less.

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HeavenOrHell

That's about the size of it :eek::mad:

 

 

You said you wouldn't want anything to do with someone who is ugly. You talk as though you wouldn't even give an ugly person the time of day, and as though you think they're less than you.
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