123456 Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I recently met someone that im really attracted to, but unfortunately she lives a bit far to see on a regular basis; i live in the countryside while she lives in a city. Going to the city from where i live is just a relatively quick train-ride away, but its something that i cant really do spur of the moment since i would need a place to stay. At this point, ive hung out with her twice (once with a group of friends, and once one-on-one). However, during this time, i was staying in the city over winter break at my family's house, so it was fairly easy for me to invite her to go somewhere. Now that winter break is over and we're both back at work, the distance is becoming an issue with communication since i can only text her or call her. Im worried that excessive texting will make it seem like im coming on too strong. So although i txted/called her almost everyday during winter break, i am now trying to limit the frequency of communication. I tried asking her to dinner a couple of times, but unfortunately she never had free time when i did. She seems willing to see me but im worried that at a certain point, shes going to be annoyed with me trying to ask her out so many times, and thus make it seem like im coming on too strong How do i go about this situation?? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 You've been texting her regularly for quite a while so if she's interested, I'd expect her to want to meet you soon. She's turned down two opportunities to meet but it is true this could be because of prior commitments. I think you only need to be concerned about coming on too strong if she doesn't want to meet. So far, you don't really know if that's the case or not. I think it's time for a definite meeting and you are not in position to meet up casually with her while out with friends or anything so you'd need to make a specific date. I'd suggest you contact her, maybe by phone, and have a friendly general chat and then ask her when she would be free to meet up. If she isn't really interested or is only half-hearted about it, she will not find a time that is convenient. She will probably be vague about the future. I woudn't pressure her in response but let the texts taper off and see what happens. I think at this point though, you should reconsider pursuing this any further. If you don't get a date, I would assume she's not interested enough to make that commitment. I'm afraid that if she was keen, you'd probably know it by now, unless she was very shy, and she would have dropped hints about places she'd like to go to. This would have thrown you the opportunity to step in and suggest going there together. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 123456 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 You've been texting her regularly for quite a while so if she's interested, I'd expect her to want to meet you soon. She's turned down two opportunities to meet but it is true this could be because of prior commitments. I think you only need to be concerned about coming on too strong if she doesn't want to meet. So far, you don't really know if that's the case or not. I think it's time for a definite meeting and you are not in position to meet up casually with her while out with friends or anything so you'd need to make a specific date. I'd suggest you contact her, maybe by phone, and have a friendly general chat and then ask her when she would be free to meet up. If she isn't really interested or is only half-hearted about it, she will not find a time that is convenient. She will probably be vague about the future. I woudn't pressure her in response but let the texts taper off and see what happens. I think at this point though, you should reconsider pursuing this any further. If you don't get a date, I would assume she's not interested enough to make that commitment. I'm afraid that if she was keen, you'd probably know it by now, unless she was very shy, and she would have dropped hints about places she'd like to go to. This would have thrown you the opportunity to step in and suggest going there together. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Thanks for the response. I think im going to take your advice and "let the texts taper off". Im bound to meet up with her again because of our mutual friends, and ill wait for that opportunity to ask her out on a date. For what its worth, she is a shy person as i realized when i hung out with her, and also stated directly from her. Its hard to read her signals due to her shyness, but hopefully she'll txt me time to time to maintain some level of communication. But yea, i guess ill play it by ear, and see what happens... Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 How did it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 123456 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 How did it go? No updates so far :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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