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Is interracial dating with asian men not popular?


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Hi, Im chinese and born fresh on the soils of North America...I wuz just wondering why not many Caucasian, black, spanish etc women choose asian men as lovers..Is it cuz of the way we look? Ive had other women of other nationalities interested in me but if you look at the majority thats a very rare occurance. I personally think its that damn stereotype.."All asian guys have small dicks"..or maybe not..

 

just wondering cuz i dont think its a question that is asked enough hehe..unless I havent skimmed this forum enough times. heh LATEr.

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For me, its a question of height and bulk. I am slightly taller (5/8") than a lot of women and I prefer my guys

to be taller than me by at least a few inches and to outweigh me (not hard, but harder for guys who are my height or shorter because they are often very slight.)

 

Why? Because some warped bit of my brain usually equates 'shorter' and 'smaller' with 'younger' with 'needs to be mothered'. I know it's not sensible, but there ya go.

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moimeme WRITES: "...Because some warped bit of my brain...."

 

I cannot believe in a thousand years that could exist. Just not buying it!!!

 

Very good response to the post above and I think this is the feeling of many women. But I also know a lot of women who are attracted to Asian men. Perhaps this gentleman needs to get out more and get rid of the complex he may have about being Asian.

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Tony: :p

 

Actually, I have a friend who is bound and determined to marry an Asian man. She is not Asian herself, just has a major crush on Yo Yo Ma.

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im white and im an asian dater extrodianaire. hehe jk, but i have dated one asian before and i am dating one right now. so i dunno.......i think asians are told to stick with their own race, maybe its the asians that dont want to do that dating of other races?

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I am asian and would date interracially altho the opportunity has never arisen. If I were to ever want to marry someone non-asian though my family would have a big fuss.

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i'm white, and i've dated an oriental guy before.

 

generally, it IS a matter of bulk and height. but there're plenty of petite white/black/etc gals, so you've got a whole field of flowers to pick from =)

 

-yes

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There's plenty of caucasian women out there that will date asians. I am asian and I have dated plenty of caucasian women. I'm rather positive that it doesn't have to with the region that I live in although I've dated plenty of hispanic women as well among others. In the end it comes down to attraction. What attracts women to men and vice versa? Well, that's probably another topic, and quite honestly, it's not a universal medium. Like others have said in these posts, slantedeyez needs to go out and just meet more people.

 

By the way, slantedeyez, while you're out looking for your caucasian girl...try not to overlook other possibilities that may present themselves. Things like that usually happen when you're not expecting them to. Oh, and stop worrying about the stereotypes out there. It will bring you down in the end, and then you'll try and make up for the stereotype and over compensate. Then you'll come across as a guy who has something to prove, and most women (my opinion) don't find that attractive.

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Originally posted by jalexy

i wish someone could explain why asian families like to keep it within their race.....this guy i am dating doesnt seem to be that way..but most others are....

 

 

I'll see if a couple of Italian fathers of girl's I've dated can chime in and help you out here...they've been really big on the whole interacial dating thing...

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HokeyReligions

I never thought of it as so much a "race" thing, but as a cultural one. Most of the asians that I know have very strict beliefs on a variety of things including family and work, and often these beliefs (culture) don't mesh as well with the hodge-podge of today's society and the flexibility in societies "standards" with regards to raising children, marriage and even work ethics.

 

Puts me in mind of someone I used to work with who is catholic and dated someone who was not catholic and the only way she would marry him is if he converted. he went to classes for a year for her. My other friends family is the same way - but jewish. Cultural and religious differences, I think, play a big part.

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inexplicablelove

I think it's more a matter of getting to know someone, then "liking" them. After falling for one asian guy, I totally check out asian guys more now. As for the tall issue, there's lots of tall well built asian guys, and they tend to dress really well. I think it's great that there's way more interracial dating now.

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  • 4 months later...

yeap..i think the main problem probably does lie within stereotype. in today's world, all u need is a little stereotype to make judgement on ppl before u even meet them....hell the worst stereotype i hate are that theyre little ppl, smart, introverted and cant speak english well. im a big slacker in college and the worst procrastinator you can find...but i socialize a lot with any race

 

well anyway, first off not all asians "little" people. my bro is 5'10" and i'm 5'10 or 5'11". yes im chinese, but the way i dress, they usually assume that i'm born here, came when i was 5. 98% of the time i speak english anywhere so i dont blame them.

 

u know what this caucasian girl that goes to my friend's college tell him? hm..was it chinese OR asian guys are beautiful, but they're not sexy.

 

anyway, i dont htink it's impossible to get with girls out of our race, but i do believe you have to work for it. heck my bro has a jamaican gf from his college upstate that he attended.

 

anyway, imo it's also has something to do with the mindset. if you live the lifestyle of a caucasian, dress and act like them. you will probably be readily accepted by them, even dating one too. but imo i think the truth in reality is the cultural/tradition/lifestyle barrier that is the gap between us that really divides us from everyone else. ..... unless the other person says " hell screw this and that i dont care, i love him for what he is..blahblah" then there's soemone you can always dig...

 

well there's my 2 cents.

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I absolutely ADORE anything asian, including the men ;) I have many Asian friends ...and they wont date white women. Something about their families wanting them to marry traditional, and they are very hardcore about it. I've dated a couple of Asians but they obviously didn't last because their families weren't happy that I was not asian. The only exception was one that was mixed himself..

 

My conclusion..if anything, i'd say it's a toss up. I wouldn't say that other races don't like to date asian men like yourself.. but around here (In NY, and even cali for the most part) you hardly even catch a asian man checking out anything that isn't asian.

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Gosh....I didn't even realize dating 'Asian' was considered 'interracial'. I've dated 3 guys who were from Asian decent, but grew up in America and are in the United States Navy. I just thought of them as another guy.

 

I would consider me dating a 'civilian' much more controversial.....hahahaha!

 

Guess it just depends on how you look at it. :)

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I'd say it depends and it is changing.

 

Here in Los Angeles, I am beginning to see more Asian men dating white Anglo and Mexican women. There are a lot of perceptions and stereotypes to overcome, of course. But, in the end, if you want to appeal to a woman, esp. a beautiful one out of your race, you have to sell yourself and make her convinced. Asian men are relatively not exposed to women of other races. I think that is changing now, some of it due to Asian men being a little more visible in the media.

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Originally posted by Jeff

I'd say it depends and it is changing.

 

Here in Los Angeles, I am beginning to see more Asian men dating white Anglo and Mexican women. There are a lot of perceptions and stereotypes to overcome, of course. But, in the end, if you want to appeal to a woman, esp. a beautiful one out of your race, you have to sell yourself and make her convinced. Asian men are relatively not exposed to women of other races. I think that is changing now, some of it due to Asian men being a little more visible in the media.

 

yes i agree it has some part to do with it.

My bro's experience is that NYC caucasian ppl are friendlier than the ones upstate or another state. me and him grew up in nyc, he went to college upstate, 96% caucasian attend school there, now he works in delaware...jeez the only asian guy working in his company. he's a big socializer also, but he tells me it's tough to make friends down there. plus the fact that once you get out of school, it is pretty rough to make friends @ work. ...diffferent age groups, and many of them settled down and arent looking to make friends...or just see you have a different lifestyle compared to them...

so i think the problem is that there are races that dont expose themselves enough to other races, which in part may make them not as open-minded to other possibilities of making friends/dating out of their own race.

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I don't know if this is a continuation of the first Asian men thread, but anyway, as I said there, I think it has a lot to do with culture. I'm an American living in Asia, and I've noticed that Western women here don't tend to mix well with Asian men on this side of the Pacific, either. Yet it's completely the opposite if you change the genders - Western men fawn all over Asian women and I've got a really bad case of Yellow Fever myself.

 

Moimeme pointed out her lack of physical attraction to Asian men because of their slight build, and I'm sure that factors into some of the obstacles Asian men face. But more than anything else, I think it is the cultural divide that makes it particularly difficult for Asian men to find Western women, which would explain why some Asian men do very well while many others (more traditional Asian men) have major difficulties getting into the game with Western women.

 

I'll also narrow this down a bit and say that when I use the word "Asian", I'm thinking of East Asians (Chinese, Japanese and Koreans). In particular, I think men of East Asian descent have the greatest difficulty with Western women. At the risk of making some rather broad generalizations, I think men of East Asian descent are taught to be introspective; circumspect; hierarchal; patriarchal; to be loyal and obedient to authority, obsessed with duty, and to pursue high levels of achievement. These are fine virtues in and of themselves, and Asian women understand and relate to them as they have for centuries.

 

Western women, on the other hand, probably have a somewhat different understanding of masculinity. Our women have come to value and respect men who aren't afraid to forget "their place" and test authority. Whereas Asian men (especially the Japanese) find their strength and security in their place within a group of people, Western women want a man who isn't afraid to stand alone and be different. In comparison to Wesern guys (Americans in particular) Eastern men are extremely cautious in social situations; Western women want guys who are confident. You get the picture. It's cultural more than racial, I think. It's just an opinion, but I think Asians are the most beautiful people in the world physically, and many others I know say the same thing. I don't think it's a physical thing; I think it's cultural. And when an Asian guy finally assimilates, whoa man, watch out....a heart-breaker is born.

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I might get flak for saying this, but I think it's worth mentioning. Historically, there has been isolation in that region of the world. They were Patriarchal societies with strict Confucian values. It's only recently that they are assimilating into other cultures, and it's possible that Western Romanticism and Eastern Confucianism aren't attracting one another.

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that's quite interesting. how would you see their basic principles at odds? expand?

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I don't think you the statement literally, Jenny. Obviously there's a lot to be said of someone who's circumspect and dutiful; but in today's world, I think the way it is practiced by Asian men often equates to "boring dude" in the eyes of a Western women. Obviously, I'm not a woman, so take this perception of mine for what it's worth.

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i was actually interested in the history of confucian values as they compare to those of western romanticism. i'm trying to score free theories without auditing classes. i take your point about how they manifest now; but i am interested in the roots. this is the kind of thing that gets my research blood racing. :)

 

(i don't feel that romanticism is dominant enough as an epistemology, actually. i think most privileged westerners operate out of either modernism or unarticulated postmodernism. occasionally, thwarted victorians emerge from the woodwork. but i digress. i just wanted to hear more, in general, about dyer's theory. )

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