Worried I may have come on too strong

[inklings]

Hey all. I'm a college student. I apologize in advance for how lengthy this is.

 

I like this guy in one of my classes and I'm trying to be friends with him. I think we started off really well. I introduced myself to him and his friends, and we seemed to hit off well. The following week he said hi to me before class, and after class we chatted for a bit. I felt really good about the chances of us becoming friends.

 

That same week I saw him online around 1AM so I decided to chat with him. The thing is... I'm worried I may have come on too strong during the chat. I found out he works somewhere so I asked him "When do you work? I might visit," and I think it was okay because he actually gave me his schedule, like the specific times and days. I thought our conversation was going really well (a mix of questions from both him and me, so I didn't feel like the conversation was one-sided), then he said he had to be right back, but he never did. Now this I'm not that concerned about, considering it was around 2AM by this point and I figured he probably just went to sleep or something.

 

I became really nervous that I had come on too strong, so the next time I saw him I was really nervous. I couldn't even look in his direction. Which in retrospect I don't know if maybe that confused him, me suddenly not saying hi to him. At the end of class I mustered up courage and went over to talk, but he seemed in a hurry to leave and we only exchanged three or four sentences.

 

Later on when I was getting lunch with two of my guy friends I saw him again, so I waved. He waved back, but his smile was different from its usual open, friendly one. Or maybe that was just me seeing things my mind was worried about - i.e. me making him feel uncomfortable thus I interpret his reactions to me in that frame.

 

Then when he and his friend were leaving, they passed by my table again. I had changed seats, and when I looked up as he passed by, I saw that he was looking at my original seat. I don't know if that means anything. But I acted as if I hadn't seen him, and we didn't say bye to each other.

 

I'm confused. I really hope I haven't ruined my chances of becoming friends with this guy.

[Samari]

I'll keep this really simple. You've overthinking this way too much. Getting to know someone shouldn't be this complicated or confusing...whatever your intentions are. Just forget about everything you think has been weird thus far and continue to say hi to him whenever you see him. You'll know if the person wants to be around you or not. It's not that difficult to figure out.

[somedude81]

Forgive me if I'm going off-topic, but why do you want to become friends with the guy?

 

Is this normal where a girl meets an interesting guy and she just wants to be his friend?

[Pedigree]

Forgive me if I'm going off-topic, but why do you want to become friends with the guy?

 

Is this normal where a girl meets an interesting guy and she just wants to be his friend?

 

You haven't been friendzoned have you?

 

I'm assuming that the OP wants to become friends as a launching pad to be something more. Otherwise she won't say that she "came on" too strong.

[inklings]

Samari: You're right. I am overthinking this way too much. Thanks. I'm going to go forward without letting my concerns hinder me.

 

somedude81: I want to be friends with him so I can get to know him better. If anything further develops from our friendship, great. If not, at least we'll be friends. I'm choosing to befriend him first versus straight up asking him out on a date because I'm not comfortable doing that, considering I don't know him that well yet. That, and I'm afraid of rejection, lol.

 

Pedigree: I don't know if I have been friendzoned yet. Maybe I have. How do I tell? And you're right in your assumption.

[Pedigree]

Pedigree: I don't know if I have been friendzoned yet. Maybe I have. How do I tell? And you're right in your assumption.

 

The friendzone thing was directed at somedude81 rather at who is asking why do you want to be friends with the guy? I'm just saying that girls can show signs of interest and then it turns out she just want to be friends.

 

But in response to your original post now that you've clarified things: don't give mixed signals and be consistent. I don't know how the other guys work here but I've got a mental checklist of whether or not I'm getting signals.