Bellamagica Posted June 22, 2002 Share Posted June 22, 2002 There's no doubt about it. I am the world's biggest chicken when it comes to making the first move. But here's the weird part - around friends and people I've just met, I'm extremely comfortable being me and I always find something to talk about. But when I meet a guy I like, I become incredibly shy and almost intimidated by the attraction I have to him. Enough of my rambling, let's get to the real story here. Sorry if this turns out to be a bit long, but being the talker I am, nothing's ever short! PART 1 - BACKGROUND About two weeks ago, I went out with some female colleagues after work. One of the girls bumped into a guy she knows so we sat near the guy's table. There was one particular guy there that I was very attracted to ("The Spunky One"), but did I have the guts to talk to him? Of course not Not being attracted to any of the other guys there, I could quite freely chat to them and have a laugh. I think I was afraid of drawing a mental blank if I spoke to The Spunky One. Now, The Spunky One's friend was talking to me and many times during the night he made references about the The Spunky One to me such as: * "The Spunky One's very eligible Bella. He's intelligent and he's has a very good job and earns lots of money" (not that I care about the money. I want to know if he's funny, more importantly!). * "I think The Spunky One's a very good looking bloke, don't you?". I told him that I 150% agreed with him on that one. * "Bella, I think you and The Spunky One would make a very good-looking couple" (yeah...I think we'd look really great locking lips!) * "I can't tell you much about the World Cup but you see The Spunky One? See The Spunky One there? The Spunky One's friend knows a bit. He's next to the Spunky One". Ok, so I have a damn good memory! Must be all that ginseng that I don't take. Anyhow, I digress. My thoughts were pretty much that The Spunky One's friend wouldn't be saying this for no good reason? Do you agree? The Spunky One and I were oh-so-briefly introduced and we shook hands and smiled and I shyed off. We made some lingering eye contact when he walked past at one stage That was all very exciting and promising until I fell over a handbag that was on the floor and kept walking to the ladies room. Bugger! Eventually I left and I was too shy to say anything and I'm thinking he may have been too. PART 2 - LAST NIGHT I went out for birthday drinks last night with my friends. I went back to the same place I met him hoping The Spunky One might be there. He wasn't but one of his friends was. I pointed him out to one of my girlfriends who went and spoke to his friend and got The Spunky One's mobile phone number. My friend didn't point me out to his friend, but he did say to her "he'd really like a call". Oh ****e. If The Spunky One asks his friend what did this girl look like who got his number, he'll describe my friend who looks NOTHING like me. By this stage, I was a little bit, er shall we say, merry? Everyone was pressuring me to ring him and I didn't know what to say so another one of my well-meaning friends got on the phone and pretended to be me. OUCH! He was in a bar about 10 minutes away that was just as noisy as the one we were in, so I don't know how well he heard her. She told him "It's Bella. We met at the KFC Bar last week" and asked if he wanted to meet up with us tonight. Hmmm....the notice was a bit late, dontcha think? He said he's really flattered that I called and he'd like to come along and he'd try his best to get there. Later, she messaged him to say we'd be moving on to a particular bar if he wanted to meet us there. His exact message was "Possibly. Zinger Bar sounds good. Will call you". I didn't message him back because I thought "Jeez guys, don't make me look too keen!". But alas, I didn't hear from him. I'm really not sure if he knew who I was. I mean, we were introduced so briefly a couple of weeks ago and half of his friends had to ask me to repeat my name because I was rather quiet introducing myself and it was noisy in there. Maybe he was shy? Maybe he didn't want to come on his own? Maybe he couldn't really my name over the phone (even though he said he thinks he remembers who I am)? Maybe he just aint interested? So where to now? By all accounts, The Spunky One sounds like a pretty respectable person from the way his friend was trying to sell him to me. And he's apparently smart too, which is such a bonus. One of my friends suggested I text him back saying: Hi [name]. Sorry if I've been too forward, but I'm wondering if you and your friends would still like to meet up for a drink sometime? Do you remember who I am?! Bella. Whaddya think? I need opinions desperately! I was thinking along the lines of something witty and maybe something that suggests I was the girl who was talking to a particular mate of his a lot that night if he's having trouble placing who might have called him Please help me! He sounds like such a good catch and I'm verrry shy when it comes to making the first move. I really have no reason to feel this way because I'm certainly not ordinary looking (according to my friends and family) or dumb (according to me). It would mean a lot to me if I could get suggestions on what to do and what to write etc. Would I be making a total goose of myself if I were to contact him? If I were to contact him, how soon is too soon? YI-YI-YIKES!! I've never had to make the first move before, so this is really weird. It's not often I meet a guy I want to get to know better and it's been a while too, so please....HELP! Sorry about the long-winded story. You can come up for air now. Cheers guys Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted June 22, 2002 Share Posted June 22, 2002 You really have absolutely nothing to lose. You could say something like, "I've found my voice since I met you two weeks ago at ___ with ___. We didn't really talk that night but I'd like to remedy that. Care to meet for a drink/coffee?" If he blows you off, so what? Even if you see him out again, what's the worst that can happen -- you two won't talk? But I'll bet he won't blow you off. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 22, 2002 Share Posted June 22, 2002 Are you sure you want to make the first move? It sounds like you (with some help of your friends) already did! A word of advice is to never call a fellow after you've had a few drinks. You were not thinking clearly. (Believe me, I'm the master of the drunk dial.) I wouldn't advise doing it again. Next, it's a little...um...weird to call someone with a phone number that was not provided by them. I'd be a little put off if some random guy I met once called me and I hadn't given him my number. He acted very nice when you (or your friend) talked/messaged with him. But it seems to me that if he was really interested, he would have found some way to get to where you were. Or to invite you to where he was, for that matter. It's really hard to say whether he remembered you or not. I wouldn't necessarily put a lot of faith into his friend's comments from the first night you met him. Friends have a way of trying to set people up when they aren't aware. It seems to me that if he was really interested, he would have made an effort to talk with you a little bit, instead of leaving you sitting with his friend all night. I don't know...I don't think I'd contact him again, but that's just me. Seems like he's had some chances to get your number, and he now has it since you called him, so... You really run the risk of looking like you are chasing him and making a fool of yourself if you contact him. It might happen, it might not. If you don't, though, if you do happen to run into him again, you can make a joke of the call. Say you saw his friend and his friend told you to call him since he was right down the road or something. And ha ha ha how funny that was! But then again, that's just me. I'm not a fan of making the first move. Link to post Share on other sites
Guinness Posted June 23, 2002 Share Posted June 23, 2002 HEY! Well, first I agree, you have nothing to loose! I mean if it doesn't work out and he turns out to be a total looser you don't have to see him ever again. But then, if he doesn't really know who you are then its not such a good sign. I wouldn't text him probably not right away because it could look like you running after him. And then I am sure there are other guys around who would be just too happy if you would be interested in them. but if you are not afraid of being "dumped " then call him and just try to sound cool - somewhere along the lines if he wouldn't like to meet up for a beer or something. Because text messages you can ignore but a phonecall has to be answered right away (make sure to hide your number while calling) Good luck! Am sure it will work out! Link to post Share on other sites
sensible Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 Bella , you are an attractive woman . thats good . now make a fool of yourself . go up to him and do something dumb , i.e. make a move on him . if it works ...great . if not , its not meant to be . anyway , you might go up , make a real turkey of yourself , and forget him .........but here's the rub , he might remember you ........ good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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