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Finding some friends


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Hallo just joined this forum I’m Paul 23 from the UK. I am after some advice on how to find a new group of friends. When I was at school I was very quite and didn’t make friends with the happy outgoing type. Instead the friends I have have no interest in anything apart from sitting at home playing computer games. They have absolutely no ambition in live and one of my friend has never had a job since leaving school and quite college after 6 months and just stays at home all day long. Where I work very hard during the week got a career and a decent car etc. I’m much more outgoing than I was at school although still find it hard to make small talk to total strangers. The point of this post is how to find new friends I work during the week. On weekend I’ve got plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me busy during the day. All I want is just one friend/friends who will go out on a Friday and Saturday night and enjoy ourselves.

I’m not an indoors person I like being out and about I love being out on a Saturday night but so far my friends have only being out about twice this year even then it was just to the pub for about an hour and all they wanted to is go home and play computer games. Previous years I would give in and spend my fri and sat nights stuck in with them. This year I’ve being out just about every sat night on my own which is making me very sad and depressed and I sometimes come back home almost in tears especially when I see everybody around me enjoying themselves I feel left out I’m just a normal lad who wants to go out and enjoy myself clubbing etc . People at work say I’m good fun at the works Christmas party but that’s abusively once a year. They are all older than me and married with kids. I need a friend/friends of my own age who’s free to go out often. I’ve never had a girlfriend only being on a date once which doesn’t bother me to much. A hug once and a while would be nice though. I feel I will find someone sooner or later if I’m seen out enjoying myself instead of standing on my own all night but feel I wont ever find anyone if I’ve got no friends to go out with and just have a good time with first.

Sorry about the long post but this situation is getting me depressed and I feel that it is going to get worse.

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ManWithQuestions

not necessarily on the point of getting a girlfriend, but just finding friends

you said you have a "decent car"

are you a car guy? do you like cars in anyway? or you just care that they drive?

my point is find something that your interested in (besides games and things like that) and try to find a forum for it to find locals

there are a LOT of car forums if you are into cars

for example, i own a 02 WRX

there are a lot of people on the subaru forum that i go to

they have meets in various locations of the state every week

find something you like to do, see if you can find others locally and try to hang out with them more often

i know you like your friends and stuff, but if you meet others with your same interest, your more likely to have fun, even if you do end up just sitting around

 

as far as the GF goes, im kind of in the same boat

my friends also like to just chill at someones house or throw a small party

but its all the same people every time, no one new

i dont mind chilling with them cause we actually do stuff and have fun

whether it be at someones house, or just out and about

but we never really go out and find anybody, because everyone BUT me has someone else, so i also feel your pain on seeing everyone else enjoying themselves

all you can do is just suggest to your current or possibly new friends that you just go to some clubs or bars or something

even if they have someone else, they are usually wanting to go out so they will go with

and it gives you a great opportunity to meet someone

 

PS. since all your friends want to do is play "computer games", are they like "uber-nerds" or something? lol

 

dont know if that will really help, but ya

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Hi thanks for taking the time to reply really appreciate it. No I’m not that interested in cars I was just trying to explain that I’ve done something with my life i.e. got a job a car. In comparison the three friends I have are lazy have no ambitions never go out anywhere no matter how much I try even if its just to go shopping or to the seaside for an hour. We never normally hang out much together if it is its just the four of us sat on the computer with me bored. I don’t really like computer games or computers in general that much I prefer the real world. I can cope during the daytime going out doing things on my own would be nice to have a few friend with to but really not bothered. Its on a Friday and Saturday night where I feel really lonely I just wish I knew more people that I can ring or they ring me to go to bars clubs etc. For those that don’t live in the uk going out to bars and night clubs on a fri and sat night is a big thing and its generally what most people in there teens 20’s and probably 30’s do and I feel really left out. I haven’t seen my friends in about 4 months because if I don’t ring them they never make the effort to ring me and if I do I know all they will do is waste there time on computer games when we should be out enjoying our youth. They are setting them self’s up for a very lonely live and I do not wish to be part of it that’s why I go out on my own in a desperate attempt to find new friends. When I do go out there’s groups of people laughing smiling arranging where they are going next and having a good time and I stand there wishing that I could be friends with them or had friends like that. Thanks I take your point about finding local forums on things I’m interested in I will look into it. I’m really after finding friends that will go out on a night to have a good time with and maybe a bit of a dance on the dance floor etc. People at work say that I should just go over and talk to random people and make friends that way but I can’t see how on my own I can go up to total strangers like that. I think they would just find it strange. What do other people think about this? Sorry if I seem to be moaning I’m after as many ideas as possible and hopefully one day things will improve and I will be able to offer advice to other people out there.

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