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Im in a messy situation. Need


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Well my story is as follows. In september of 05 me and my best friend met a girl and both started liking her right away. The time for me was real ****ty because i wasnt around enough, im in a touring band. He got her because my band really started taking off so i was never around (or not enough) to persue this girl. They dated for a little over a year while we all remained friends. To put simply my friend is a piece of trash, he cheated on her muliple times, lied and was even at some points physically abusive. I stopped talking to him on completely unrelated matters. He ended up stealing from me. He has no job, car or money. Nothing. They ended up breaking up over and over again and this past April things got real complicated because word got around she started liking me. Basically because i wasnt talking to my friend, and because i always liked her and everyone was pressuring me to do it, i did. Things were going awesome for a while, she told me she didnt wanna be with him and was over it. Well a few weeks ago he magically decided to pop back in the picture by calling her and manipulating her to feel sorry for him and crying ect ect. Since then our relationship has gone to sh*t, shes getting sketchy and distant. I dont get why she takes his calls, he cheated on her and treated her like garbage, im not Mr. Nice guy or anything but i dont cheat if i love someone. This girl has a bad history of dating dirtbags. She just aims low. Im way better looking than this dude (not even trying to be arrogant) but its like it doesnt even matter. This past weekend was my last weekend before tour and she just disapeared, im gonna be gone for 6 weeks. She came back sunday night and had the nerve to ask me to hang out?? Well i pretty much flipped out and called her a selfish piece of crap. Now shes kissing my ass and wont stop texting or emailing. I feel like i finally stood my ground and i havent wrote her back one time. WTF can i do to get her back and stop this bullsh*t? I know shes still hung on her ex, but thats what i get for going for a girl who just got out of a relationship. I know shes gonna crawl back, i just dont want her to realize it down the road. Any Suggestions?

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Thing is..I don't think you can trust her anymore and that is not healthy in any relationship. ok, maybe she does deserve another chance. She is not exactly used to dating a person that isnt a dirtbag to her. She is obviously confused, but you need to let her know that if you decide to take her back, that the next mistake will be her last.

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I know i cant trust her right now, but i do love her and want her in my life. I just dont think i should run to her when she feels like hanging out. I feel that if i dont take some form of stand then shes gonna think she can walk all over me. But when do u think i should talk to her? I leave for tour tomorrow :(

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Well..talk to her before you tour that you will think about it. Go on your tour and decide when you get back. Again, fi you want to take her back..make sure she understands that there is no room for making another mistake.

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Exactly, I have yet went back to trying again after my own mistake of actually trying a 2nd time with a first crush. If it did not happen in the first place, why would it happen the 2nd time? I am sorry the girl was not strong enough to realize she had a better person in you than him. I am not saying its funny but its laugable that the situation would play itself like that. I had one like what you are describing. You are being a good guy and as soon as that stupid trash ex calls, they throw you to the curb, like expecting that the ex would be so much better this time around but news flash, its not and they come crawling back. Blah, I learned to avoid those completely nowadays. AS the other guy said, make sure that she knows consequences will be severe this time around if you both do decide to go a second. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, SHAME ON ME." Good luck and all the best.

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Luthatdude

Thanks for all the help, but i went ahead and kept ignoring her and she flipped. She kissed my ass so bad, practically begged me to talk to her. I think i got my point across. I think by me totally ignoring her showed that i wont put up with her ****, and if she was gonna split then she wouldnt have begged me so badly. Either way this is the last chance.

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