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I did something terrible

Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 5th July 2006, 3:34 PM   #1
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Unhappy I did something terrible

My fiance and I have been together over 6 years and we are getting married in 8 months. I've never had second thoughts about him until about a month ago. Then, last weekend I cheated on him. I will never tell him that i did this, but I did tell him I'm having cold feet. I love him, but I'm not sure i'm in love with him anymore. I think that i could marry him and be happy for the rest of my life, but I just don't know what i should do. I feel that whatever I decide will be a mistake. Please give me some advice.
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Old 5th July 2006, 3:56 PM   #2
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My only advice is for both of you to see a marriage counselor right away. Once in it, let him know the truth. Apparently your communication is way off. However what problems you two have been having is never an excuse to cheat.

Honestly I don't know how you could walk down the isle knowing that you cheated & he doesn't know. That would just ruin the whole experience. It would be like it's tainted in alot of ways.
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Old 5th July 2006, 3:58 PM   #3
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Looks like somebody needs to dump her fiance.
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Old 5th July 2006, 4:29 PM   #4
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Cheating on him is going to eat away at you till one day you just snap. He deserves to know what sort of person he is marring
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Old 5th July 2006, 4:45 PM   #5
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First of all, I think it is the cruelest of cruel things to do to someone to cheat on them and not tell them. Whether or not your too coward to own up to what you did, you owe it to him to tell him the truth so maybe he could have a chance to dump you and find someone who will love and be faithful to him. It's also cruel to go ahead and marry him even though you admitted to not being in love with him. You are doing him and you both an injustice to enter into a marriage with deceit. It won't last either way...
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Old 5th July 2006, 9:36 PM   #6
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if you are having cold feet and feeling unsure, then its time to sit down and re evaluate the whole thing.

getting married is not going to make you feel anymore in love and cheating is going to make him feel less in love if he ever found out.
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Old 10th July 2006, 7:37 PM   #7
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it happened to me

and I wish to God she had called off the wedding and set me free.

She said she thought she could never tell me.

Nope, she waits 16 years, cheats again, we had two kids, a life, a mortgage. Then she tells me what she did a few months before the wedding.

In her twisted way of thinking she thought of it as validating her feelings for me!

You MUST tell your fiance so he can decide his own fate.
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